Special Disclaimer and note: I do not own Pocky, for those of you who don't know what Pocky is, it's a wafer stick dipped in chocolate or some other gooey coating, there are about 200 flavors.
Translation notes:
Tenken – Heavenly Sword
Kirigakure no Jutsu – Hidden Mist Technique
Kubikiri Houcho - Head Chopping Cleaver
Nukenin – Missing-nin
Fushichou – Phoenix
Naruto sat in the forest rubbing his feet. His boots were lying next to him on the forest floor and he glared menacingly at them. He had only been running a couple hours when his feet had started to sting, and a short time later he couldn't run anymore.
He quickly discovered the problem: after bathing in demonic chakra, his feet had gotten larger. Not by any significant amount, only a few fractions of an inch, but it was enough to make his boots pinch. Naruto had expected a slight body size increase, he just hadn't accounted for all the problems it would cause.
This, he decided, was the less glamorous side of transformation jutsus. A quick once over had also shown that he would need to have the hems on his pants let out as they hung a good inch and a bit above his ankles, showing off skin. He had a sudden moment of pity for Kimimaro; the poor guy must have spent all his money on fixing holes in his clothing.
This line of thought was amusing, but didn't help Naruto decide what to do about his boots; he was 70 miles from the nearest town. He continued to rub his foot, trying to get the blood circulation again.
After 10 minutes or so, an idea finally came to him; he took a kunai out of his holster and started hacking at one of his boots. In 3 minutes, he had a usable if not particularly good-looking pair of what he thought of as Ninja sandals. He had really just cut the top off his boots and used the extra material to tie his feet into the bottoms.
Now again mobile, Naruto got to his feet, picked up his bag and sword and started off through the forest.
Some 50 miles north of Naruto's current position, Uchiha Itachi was shopping for Pocky. He stood among the many flavors and tried vainly to decide.
It was a little known fact that the most deadly nukenin in Konoha history had an obsession with the chocolaty snack. He had eaten 3 packs a day for years and had only stopped eating them in combat when a group of grass jounin had burst out laughing as he happily munched. Needless to say, he continued to munch as he ripped them to shreds, but after that decided to keep eating and fighting separate.
He had abstained from his Akatsuki cloak today and had a pencil carefully tucked behind his ear. He and his partner had decided long ago that Itachi was the one who handled shopping and Kisame was the one who managed their money. That way, Itachi got what he wanted and his partner could decide how much of it he got. His Pocky limit for the week was 15 boxes.
He sat down in the aisle and let his eyes roam over the various shelves, he had to choose carefully, but he was patient, and he knew that the answers would come to him in time.
Naruto looked at the sun, he had made good progress. He was hoping to get out of Fire Country as fast as he could and hadn't even stopped to get new shoes in the last town he had passed through, though this could also be partly attributed to the fact that he didn't want anyone to see him.
He continued to run and pondered his high endurance. Weeks of training all morning and Rasengan-ing all afternoon had given him a substantial boost to his stamina, and he was managing the weight of Kubikiri Houcho better every day. Proof of this was that he had been running most of the morning and still had some energy left.
Stopping at the base of a tree for a short breather, Naruto tried to decide what he would actually do when he arrived at the Village of the Hidden Sound, he had serious doubts about just walking up to the gates knocking. He had no intention of joining the Sound, so he would need to find another way in, and knowing Orochimaru, he would have to give something up in exchange for what he wanted.
He continued to ponder, completely unaware of the presence far above him in the treetops.
Hoshigaki Kisame stared down at the oblivious boy. This was undoubtedly the source of the weird chakra surge Samehada had picked up the day before, but to find him with Kubikiri Houcho! Kisame would have normally immediately killed anyone who would dare take one of the 7 mist Tenken as his own, but Samehada had given some very odd results about his chakra.
Kisame never forgot the feel of a person's chakra. Ever. This boy, alone in the wilderness, with a new forehead protector, looking completely different AND carrying Azusa's sword was most definitely the Kyuubi brat.
Kisame could immediately tell had had left his village, if not for his chakra, he would never have recognized the boy. He tried to think of what could draw him out here, the only thing in the direction he was traveling was hidden sound. He looked at the sword again and his eyes widened.
The boy must have gotten the sword recently, Kisame had made a note to know where it was and last he had heard it was marking the Demon's grave. It made perfect sense, the sword was in need of repair, and so the brat would obviously need someone to fix it.
A plan was starting to form in Kisame's mind, but for it to work, the boy would have to know how to handle his weapon.
He glanced at the sun. Considering the distance to the store and the 15 box of Pocky limit, Kisame figured he had about 2 hours before Itachi got back. Plenty of time.
His hands flashed through seals and he whispered: "Kirigakure No Jutsu"
Naruto was just getting ready to start on his way again when he noticed the mist starting to fill the area, immediately dropping his bag, he dove into the bushes, uncovering Kubikiri as he ran through the brush.
The mist grew thicker and Naruto jumped into a tree to try to get a better view of the area. He was trying to figure out who could be doing this, and the only answer he could come up with was Mist hunter-nin, but that made no sense. His thoughts were quickly interrupted as is instincts screamed at him. He leapt off the branch right as it exploded.
Two phantoms did a dance of destruction through the forest. A slight disturbance in the mist would be the only warning, and they'd be at each other, exchanging blows faster than the normal human eye could follow, before both vanishing back into the mist.
The air was dead silent; neither fighter made a sound as they silently stalked one another. Both knew there was no time for attempting other jutsus, the second one of them was off guard, the other would strike.
Still somewhere far away, Itachi was reaching for his 9th box of Pocky when he quickly withdrew his hand, he couldn't allow himself to be hasty in his choice.
Naruto cursed silently as he looked out into the impenetrable fog. He knew he had the disadvantage, Kisame had a better understanding of Kirigakure no Jutsu, and so Naruto was fighting blind on pure instinct. And then there was the small issue of Kisame being a jounin. He was using every ounce of strength and flexibility he had just to avoid Samehada,
But then again, he shouldn't be able to avoid Samehada at all. He ran through the forest trying to figure this out, Kisame was holding back, he knew it, but why? And for that matter, why was the shark man here in the first place?
Naruto had no more time for thought as Samehada came hurling out of the mist. He jumped over where he knew Kisame was standing and twisted in midair, bringing Kubikiri around to block the inevitable follow up strike. But it never came.
Realizing he'd been tricked, Naruto tried to compensate, but he was off balance and landed poorly. The last thing he felt was an impact on his left arm.
The mist slowly cleared as Kisame looked thoughtfully at the unconscious boy. The fight had taken less than 2 minutes, and in that time, Naruto had demonstrated that he had absolutely no idea how to use his sword, and that was exactly why Kisame had been so impressed. The brat had held him a bay for 2 minutes, and even with Kisame holding back more than 2/3 of his power, that was still quite a feat.
Sighing, he picked up the boy and slung him over his shoulder before stooping to pick up Kubikiri. Itachi wasn't going to be happy about this, so Kisame had a feeling that he would have to double next weeks Pocky budget.
Naruto's first thought as he started to come around was that he must be in heaven, because his nose was full of the smell of fresh ramen. Just as he was opening his eyes, however, the ramen was taken away.
"Wake up, brat" Kisame said impatiently, "we need to have a little talk before Itachi gets back"
Naruto was suddenly fully awake and examining his surroundings. He was relieved to see both Kubikiri and his bag in good condition. He was less pleased, however, with being tied to a tree and towered over by an annoying shark man. He would later think up many things he could have said at this moment, but settled for he first thing that came to mind.
"Why aren't I dead?" Naruto asked.
Kisame didn't even miss a beat, "because I need to ask you some things," he replied.
Naruto blinked, he supposed that made sense. "Ask away."
Kisame started simple, he grabbed Kubikiri and held it out in front of Naruto, "where did you get this?"
Naruto went over his options, and decided this was another case where his 'don't lie to people who can kick your ass' theory applied. (See chapt.3) He also realized that explaining where he got the sword would only make sense if he explained why he had left Konoha.
One thing led to another, and Naruto spent the next 10 minutes essentially summarizing everything that had transpired in the last month and a bit. Kisame had been silent the whole time, but was ecstatic. This would be perfect; the situation couldn't have worked out better if some had planned it. (Author twiddles his thumbs innocently)
"Tell you what," Kisame said, "I'll give you some help with your atrocious sword skills AND help you get into hidden sound to find Hoshigaki Kiran, and all I want in return is for you to help me out with something."
Naruto started to say something, then stopped as he noticed Kisame's smirk and reprocessed what he had just said.
"Oh…" was the most intelligent reply Naruto could come up with.
"So," Kisame started again, "do we have a deal, brat?"
Naruto realized that even if he hadn't needed help getting into sound, he really didn't have a choice in the matter seeing as how he was tied to a tree and helpless. He nodded slowly.
"Good," Kisame said with a grin. He cut Naruto's bindings at set the bowl of ramen in front of the ravenous boy.
"Eat quick, brat," Kisame called as he tossed Naruto some chopsticks
Itachi left the store and headed back to camp satisfied, it had taken him 3 hours and 43 minutes, but he had decided on what flavors he wanted. He was munching on a stick of 'White Chocolate Cream' when he came upon the scene of a young boy with red eyes practicing with a giant sword in the middle of his camp.
Itachi pulled out his box of Pocky and carefully read the ingredients, but nothing seemed suspicious. He looked again, the boy was still there, he activated his Sharingan, and the boy was STILL there. He was about to introduce one of his kunai to the boy's neck when he felt Kisame land beside him. He turned and glared at his partner.
"Explain."
Kisame then once again summarized the summary Naruto had given him just a few minutes before, finishing the explanation with, "so he can get what he wants from my brother and we get a reliable agent in the hidden sound. Everyone leaves happy."
Itachi thought for a moment. As much as he hated to admit it (and he most definitely hated to admit it), Kisame had a point. It was rare, but not unheard of for Akatsuki to work with other missing-nins, and this boy might save them a lot of trouble.
Every 18 months, Kisame and Itachi took a break from Akatsuki work to go visit Hoshigaki Kiran, Kisame's brother. Kisame went to get his sword checked and fixed, and Itachi just went because it was a break from working all the time. At the end of every visit, they would agree on where they would meet the next time.
Unfortunately, mist hunters had forced Kiran to flee from the agreed location and seek sanctuary in the hidden sound. This posed a slight problem, as it was unlikely Orochimaru would let the two strongest members of the Akatsuki nine just waltz into his village for a quick visit with his new best weapon smith.
They had been planning on getting a sound Jounin to deliver a message for them. Find a squad and kill all the members but one, then threaten the last one until he did what they wanted. This had worked before, but was messy and left a trail. Kisame actually cared about his brother and had been concerned that this method might put him in danger.
Kisame had suspected that Naruto might be looking for his brother as soon as he saw Kubikiri Houcho, and had decided that he would be a far better agent.
First of all, Naruto had no reason (or, less of a reason) to betray them. Second of all, Naruto needed the help of Kisame and his brother if he ever wanted to be more than an amateur with a beat up sword. Thirdly, he had a valid reason to be in the sound village and to talk to Kiran.
The final, and perhaps greatest advantage was that Fushichou Naruto didn't exist. No matter how deep they delved or how far they searched, no one would be able to find any trace of anyone with his name or description. He had no home village, no friends, no past.
Kisame went over all this and the only thing that stopped Itachi for immediately agreeing was that this boy had been the target of a failed mission, and Itachi hated to fail missions. The council had been annoyed with them for weeks.
Itachi's internal war finally ended with him agreeing to work with the brat. The boy was, after all, now a missing-nin, and if they didn't help each other out once in a while the villages would kill them of one by one until no one would have the courage to leave.
The other, and far more important reason was that the two Akatsuki really needed someone's help, but Itachi would never admit that to himself.
Naruto had known the two were somewhere nearby, but that didn't stop him from jumping slightly as two forms emerged from the forest. He blinked.
The last time they had met, Naruto had been overcome by Itachi's sheer aura of power, turned out that effect was diminished slightly when he was without his cloak and carrying shopping bags. Now, instead of looking like an incarnation of death, he just looked like an older version of Sasuke with a Pocky addiction.
Dinner that evening was awkward at first. This was primarily due to the fact that shortly after sitting down; Naruto came to a startling realization. S-class missing-nins were people. It had come as the greatest shock of his life when Itachi had set up a campfire and started to fry some meat in a pan.
Their food was simple, noodles and fried chicken, but Itachi turned out to be a very good cook. Naruto was surprised again when the two Akatsuki started to chat about pointless non-death related things. Contrary to what he might have thought, the older Uchiha was far more talkative than his younger brother had been.
After a while, Naruto found himself getting used to the idle way the two deadly shinobi discussed the next day's meals between bites of chicken. He even started to add the occasional comment to their conversation.
Supper was quickly finished and the topic of discussion turned to their task, Naruto now actively joined in. Kisame was tired of watching his brother run, but the only way to get the hunters off his trail was if they believed he was dead. So their task was two-fold, they had to get Kiran out of the hidden village of sound undetected, and make it look as if he had died in a way such that the body could never be recovered.
If so much as a single sighting of Kisame or Itachi were made, the plan would be blown, as everyone would suspect a plot. Unfortunately, Kiran's connection to members of Akatsuki was far better known in the world of shinobi than it was in the world of metalworkers.
That meant that everything would hinge on Naruto. They decided he would infiltrate the village as who he was, a young man looking to get his sword repaired. Unlike most hidden village leaders, Orochimaru allowed nukenins to both live in and visit his village.
Some took missions, others didn't, but Orochimaru figured that they would help if the village were attacked.
It was like having a free defense force, people fighting to protect the sound not because they were paid to, but because it was the only place that would accept them. It was sad and brilliant at the same time.
It was decided that Naruto would pose as a child of one of the mist-nin who had run away with Zabuza. He would claim that his father had been killed recently. This story, combined with a few bribes, would allow him to enter the village with minimal attention.
The three continued to plan long into the night; unaware that somewhere far away, another plan was in the making.
Gaara stood before the Hokage with his siblings, giving his report. Surrounding him were the few in the village interested in Naruto's fate. He had been speaking for just over an hour, and from his first word he had every ounce of attention in that room focused on him.
He wove a tale of sadness and depression so dark it tore at the heartstrings of even the most cold hearted jounin. It was a tale of a broken boy who had come to see the only other person on the planet like him before he threw his life into the sands of the desert.
He described the conversation he had had with Naruto in minute detail, every word, every facial expression, and every gesture.
It was all, of course, a complete lie.
Finally, he finished with; "Then I saw his form slowly vanish into the desert."
Gaara took a step back, very proud of himself. He wouldn't doubt that he had just given the best angsty speech anyone in the room had ever heard. Though he admitted that watching Rock Lee sob and hug his teacher for an hour had unnerved him a little bit.
It had only been moments after the ANBU arrived at his door that he realized what Naruto had done. He had wondered the whole way here whether he would be able to lie to the Hokage herself.
Then he had seen the parties in the streets. Bars offering free liquor, huge signs waving in the wind reading 'Ding, Dong, the Demons dead'. Most of Konoha was celebrating. A few people were indifferent, and here, in this room with him, were the only ones who felt even a tinge of sadness at the thought of Naruto being dead.
His eyes roamed around the room. The Hokage had started to cry silently halfway through his story and the man called Jiraiya was holding her hand. The elder Hyuuga child had his eyes tightly shut was evidently trying to hold his emotions in check while his younger sister (or cousin, Gaara wasn't sure) clung to him, sobbing. Noticeably missing were Naruto's remaining teammate and teacher.
Gaara glared. How dare these people think they had the right to be sad? Where did they think they had been when Naruto had needed them? The people of this village didn't deserve the truth. Gaara continued to be angry even after the Hokage composed herself and thanked him.
It was Orochimaru's fault. It followed in Tsunade's mind that Sasuke had left because of Orochimaru, and Naruto had (she had trouble even thinking it) killed himself because Sasuke had left, therefore, it was Orochimaru's fault.
Tsunade stood and looked at the few gathered before her.
"There has been," she declared, "far too much sadness in this village. So much that it will be many years before life gets back to normal. But in this time, I ask you to be strong, and help me to eliminate the source of this sadness!"
Tsunade slammed her fist into her desk, shattering it.
"I want every available shinobi called in from whatever mission they're on, from the ANBU to the gennin, I want them all here."
She turned to Shizune, "get our strategists working on a plan. 1 month from now, we will crush Orochimaru and his village of sound, and end this circle of sadness forever!"
The Hokage spun and stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned audience behind her.
Shikamaru sighed, "Troublesome."
Back in the forest, Naruto lay sleeping silently near the now extinguished campfire. Deeper in the woods, Itachi and Kisame were washing their clothes in the river by moonlight. They were silent for the first few moments, each having things to contemplate.
Itachi looked at his partner and decided he needed to break the silence.
"Don't even start thinking about it Kisame, the council would never allow us to have a dependant, he would just slow us down."
Kisame growled slightly as he tried to get a sweat stain out of his shirt.
"I'm perfectly aware of that, but looking at him is a lot like looking into the past, isn't it Itachi?"
Itachi could only nod. He remembered well what it was like during his first year as a missing-nin. It had been hard, and he had been a jounin when he left. Naruto was chuunin level at best. No, he knew all to well that once Konoha found out Naruto was alive (and they would, eventually) the next few months after would probably be the most difficult of Naruto's life, if he were still alive at the end of them.
Kisame cut into Itachi's thoughts, "we could at least help him get stronger and teach him enough to survive." He said, "It's 3 days to Hidden sound if we move quickly, but we have all the time we need, so why not take 2 weeks and teach him a few tricks, then we go our separate ways after we're done in sound and the council won't even need to know he exists."
Itachi gave no response to Kisame's suggestion, but it didn't matter. They had both known he'd agree before the words had come out of his partner's mouth.
It had been said once that if you looked as missing-nin society as a whole, it functioned very much like a hidden village. Mission information was carried by rumors instead of scrolls, but there were definite ranks and the older nins often passed on their experience to the younger ones.
Itachi now understood why that was. Not out of any particular like for Naruto personally, but because in looking at him, Itachi inevitably saw some part of himself.
Bonus: Physics of Big-Ass SwordsHaving a decent knowledge of rotational motion is a necessity for any decent swordsman.
The first fact is that the distribution of mass is very important. The further the mass is from your body the more energy needed to move the sword.
But then enters the law of conservation of energy. Say you want to swing the sword around in a circle once, 360 degrees, in one second. And say that, if you hold the sword at the end of the handle and away from your body, it takes 5 units of energy to swing it. If you hold the sword at the top of the handle, near the hilt of the blade, and close to your body, it will only take 3 units of energy to move the sword around in a circle.
But since energy can never be created or destroyed (under normal circumstances), if one were to start swinging the sword at arms length, giving it 5 units of energy, and then pull the sword in close to your body, the swing will actually speed up to compensate.
The opposite is also true, if you start a swing in close to your body then extend your arm, the speed of the strike will decrease.
Authors Note: Well…that was weird. Kudos if you made it through the bonus and understood it
This chapter was supposed to be a lot shorter and combined with the next one. The story got away from me again.
I find that too often, powerful characters are seen as gods who never do anything other than look cool and kill things. I've always figured that as S-class criminals are in fact people, so they probably spend most of their time doing normal people things.