It's becoming more and more apparent that I can't hate my brothers. Last night, when I had a a nightmare of the day I was taken away, I wanted to hate them for allowing it to happen. But when Soda put his arms around me, I just couldn't hate him or Darry. I'm still mad at them, though.

I hated being in a hospital. I tried to eat some soup, but I couldn't hold it down. I tried later to eat a sandwich, but it didn't settle either. I think Darry and Soda thought I was doing it on purpose.

"Come on, Pony. You have to eat something." Soda pleaded with me.

"I know. It's not my fault." I snapped.

"It's okay. I know it's not your fault, baby." He pushed my hair back.

My temper cooled when he did that. Soda always made me feel better.

I started sleeping more. It felt better than staying awake and having to eat something, only to throw it up later.

The pain started going away when I slept. So I slept more and more each day. Darry and Sodapop were always there when I woke up, and they'd try to get me to eat. I gave up on eating. I didn't want to have to throw up after I ate. So I just didn't eat.

I was quiet still. I didn't want to tell Darry and Soda what was going on inside my head. They'd get upset, and they didn't need that right now. So I kept my mouth shut.

Darry had dark circles under his eyes. I told him and Soda to go home, but they didn't listen to me. I hoped that if I slept more, they'd go home and leave me be. But that never happened.

One day, the doctor came in and started talking to Darry and Soda. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I figured it was about me.

Darry's Point of View

"We think his depression was brought on from anxiety before he went to the boys' home."

"Anxiety? What kind of anxiety?"

"Well, the way we figure, it was probably him worrying about being taken away. Then, when it happened, he went into depression. It's one of the worse cases I've seen."

The blood drained from my face. Poor Pony. He'd been worrying about being taken away? Why?

"We'd like to ask your permission to place a feeding tube in him now. It's been three days, and he needs to eat."

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever it takes to get him well."

"Okay. We'll put it in this afternoon."

"Thank you, doctor."

Soda looked at me when the doctor walked off.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. It's just, 'the worst he's ever seen?' That's pretty harsh."

"I know. Soda, we've got a lot to handle with Pony. We're going to have to do everything in our power to bring him out of this."

"I know. But what can we do?"

"Just love him, and not get on his bad side."

"That's hard. The littlest things bring out his bad side. He's always snapping at us for some reason."

"It's not his fault, Soda. He's been through a lot." I defended Pony.

"I know, I know. He's pretty bad off, isn't he, Darry?"

"Yeah. He's bad off. This is worst than the nightmares."

"At least then we could help him."

"Hey, we can help him now. I think he needs to go home."

"I do, too. Maybe once the feeding tube's been in for a while, he'll be strong enough to go home."

"I sure hope so."

We turned and walked back into Pony's room.

"What was that all about?" Pony asked.

"Not much. They're going to put a feeding tube in you today. I hope you don't mind."

"Whatever." Pony spat out. Here we go again.

I reached over and squeezed his hand.

"Hey, it's okay, Pony. We're right here."

"I know." He whispered.

I gave his hand one last squeeze and then sat down in my chair.

When Pony came back from getting the feeding tube placed in him, he looked so sickly that I could have cried.

The tubes were in his nostrils, and he didn't look too happy about it.

"Hey, Pony. You okay?" Soda asked.

"No." He choked out.

"What's the matter, honey?"

"It hurts."

"It's okay, Pony. It'll be out soon. You just have to start eating more."

"It's not my fault I puke everything I eat." Pony's eyes were blazing with anger.

"I know. You're just sick, that's all."

Pony closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

I looked over at Soda, who was watching Pony with concern. He worried so much about Pony. He really loved him a lot. Not that I didn't, it's just, those two are a lot closer.

Pony looked to me and asked, "Did I do something wrong? I mean, why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?"

I was surprised by the question. I never would have thought he'd think of that. Pony looked at me.

"No, baby. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't ever think that. You're not to blame. It's just, you're having a rough time that's all. You'll get through this. Soda and I are here for you, and we always will be. Don't worry about it. You'll get better soon."

"Thanks."

Little did I know, he didn't believe me.

Sorry about the whole feeding tube thing. I've never had one, so I don't know where it goes. I figured the nose would be better than his mouth, because he can still talk. Don't nail me for it, I'm no doctor!I hope you're liking the story.