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Chapter 5: My Medicine
Against the doctor's advice and Iroh's advice, Mao got up and went up deck alone. When she got up, Zuko was already sleeping next to her, like they always did when they were little when Fire Lord Ozai wasn't around, or when Mao got scared. This time, when she woke up, Zuko had an arm around her waist.
Mao smiled as she gripped her blanket tighter. She didn't bother putting on anything, just the blanket would cover her up nicely.
Around the ship was nothing. Water. Miles and miles of water. She looked up and saw the stars. She sighed. What she's going through seemed like something right out of a book. Unrequited love. Torn apart by status.
She let out a soft, weak laugh at the thought. Soon after that, her tears betrayed her again. She covered her face with her hands and dropped down to her knees. Her sobs grew louder and louder. She didn't care who heard her. She just needed to let it out.
She felt a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind. She startled and turned to look. Zuko's face was next to her own, his eyes closed.
"Don't cry…" he whispered, softer than his angry boy voice. A voice she had long forgotten…
She was crying alone in her father's room in front of the armor he had kept for her in a locked cabinet. She kept shouting "COME BACK" over and over again, crying louder and louder.
He stood by the door, watching as she cried. She had always been by his side, he never made an effort to do the same. He had always tried to lose her, but she kept holding onto him, not intending to let go. She was always there when he needed someone to practice fire bending with. She was always there when he was sick. She was always there to help him pick on Zula.
She was always there.
And he had never thought for once to repay her. Until now.
He approached her slowly. She probably didn't hear him since her cries were louder than his footsteps. He got down on his knees behind her and put his arms around her. He rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes.
"Don't cry…" he whispered softly into her ears. It was the first time he didn't talk loudly and rudely to her.
He felt her gripping his arms, sobbing weakly, out of breath. He felt her tears falling onto his arms. That had only made him wanting to hold her closer, just so she'd feel comfort.
"Don't cry…" he whispered again.
Zuko known Mao as a girl who rarely cried. But when her father died, she had let it all out. All the pent up anger and sadness. This felt the same. Her heart was beating faster than ever. Her body heat rose.
"I love you, Zuko. I've always had. I'll always will," Mao said between sobs.
"I love you too… That's why I want to go home with you."
"No, Zuko, you don't understand! We can't be together! Don't you get it? We live in two totally different worlds. We live different lives. You're destined for the throne of the Fire Lord, and where will I be? In the kitchen, cooking your breakfast, lunch and dinner. I will never be more than a servant girl for you. Nothing is going to change that, Zuko. Nothing. Lord Ozai won't approve, Zula would hate me…" Mao started sobbing more violently, "I'm not supposed to love you. I can't love you. It's forbidden. And you're not supposed to love me either. I shouldn't be here. I should've never been too attached to you."
Mao tried to break herself from Zuko's arms. But the more she struggled, the tighter he held her. He held onto her. She scratched his arms but he didn't loosen his grip on her.
"I'll always be your servant girl… till the day I die. That's how Fate and Destiny work. You're destined for greater things, mine has already been confirmed. I will continue to serve you as nothing more than your servant," Mao continued.
"I'm glad that you followed me around all these years. I'm glad that you stayed by me even if I snapped at you. I'm glad that it was you who took care of me whenever I'm sick. I'm glad it was you who helped me pick on Zula. I'm glad it was you who covered for me when accidentally stained father's armor. I'm glad it was you I practiced fire bending with. I'm glad it was you who served my food. I'm glad that you came. I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that I'm holding you in my arms right now…" said Zuko. "I'm glad that you're the first girl I've ever kissed. Don't YOU get it? I'm glad that it's you, no one else."
Walking down the street tonight
Like every night nowhere to go
No one on the street tonight
And no one waiting up at home
Watching as my cigarette is spinning smoke into the wind
Watching as the time goes by
I think about the fix I'm in
Only you can come to save me
Being all alone has made me shake down
Break down
Give me everything I'm missing
Give me deep and soft, sweet kissing
Touch my skin
My medicine
All I want is you to hold and comfort me come on you're
My medicine
When I'm feeling lost and weak you're what I'm wishing give me
My medicine
I can feel a passion from my one affliction
Loving him is medicine
On the deck, they kissed. Deeper, softer and more intense.
The two young hearts beat faster and faster. Two years apart from each other was far too long. Without realizing it, they needed each other. Mao needed Zuko like a drug; Zuko needed her as his life companion. They felt empty without each other.
Loving each other was their medicine.
Mao's tears ran down her cheeks, knowing and understanding that what she has with Zuko can never go far. Not now, not ever.
author's note: Sorry that this chapter is short and seem very out of Zuko's character. it's the festive season (finally) and i've been busy cooking for guests to make this chapter longer so i'm really sorry but i'll try and make it up for the next chapter! xDDD tteuika... The song I used was Mika Nakashima's "My Medicine" from her "GLAMOROUS SKY" single. and for the record: i'm such a hopeless romantic. you can tell from what i write and from i've written before xDDD