When I came to, the first thing I saw was Darry. He had tears rolling down his face and some dripped onto me.

"What happened?" I asked because my memory was blurry, and I knew something bad had happened because Darry was crying.

"Nothing, baby. You're safe now. It's okay." Darry told me.

What was he talking about? I never thought I wasn't safe.

"Baby, you passed out again." Soda said. Then everything came flooding back.

"I'm okay." I said stubbornly.

"Pony, you're not okay. You just passed out twice, maybe more for all we know. What's going on?"

"Nothing!" I screamed.

Darry set his jaw and picked me up as he stood.

"We're going to the hospital, whether you like it or not." Darry said sternly.

"NO!" I yelled, fear and anger rising in me.

"I'm not going to argue with you. We're going and that's final."

I started to twist and turn. I kicked and punched, trying to break free of his grasp. It was no use, though. Darry was too much stronger for me, and there was nothing I could do about it. It didn't stop me from trying, though.

Darry shoved me into our truck, and Soda got in next to me

"Don't try to pull anything." Darry said gruffly before he walked to his side of the truck.

We drove to the hospital, with me shaking in between Soda and Darry. Soda reached over and squeezed my hand, trying to reassure me. It didn't help, though.

When we arrived at the hospital, Darry took my arm firmly and walked me toward the emergency room.

I shivered with fear when we went back to see the doctor. I wanted nothing to do with this place, and I didn't want them to find anything out. Worse, I was afraid they would find something.

Darry and Soda stayed with me until the doctor took me back and I had to be alone with him.

When I came out, pushed on a bed, Darry and Soda were waiting for me in my hospital room. Soda looked like he had tears in his eyes and Darry was clenching his fists.

The doctor spoke first.

"Well, from what we can tell, there's nothing physically wrong with Ponyboy. We assume that he's been worrying too much and it's eating at his insides. We found no trace of an ulcer, but should he keep this up, he may develop one."

When he was about to leave, I heard him say quietly to Darry and Soda, "I'll leave the three of you alone. If you can figure out what's bothering him, he can go home tomorrow. Just be gentle, but make sure you get it out of him."

I lay back against the pillow and closed my eyes. This was not my day. But then, I deserved it, didn't I?

Darry cleared his throat. "Pony, what's going on with you?"

I didn't respond. After several minutes of silence, Soda tried.

"Please, baby, just tell us what's bothering you. We're worried about you. Just tell us, honey."

I sat there, not speaking. Finally, I gave in. With a sigh, I began to tell them what was wrong.

"I feel guilty."

"Guilty? For what?" Darry asked softly.

"For killing Dallas and Johnny."

Soda and Darry looked stunned. They never would have thought that was what was bothering me.

"What? You didn't kill them!" Soda said, shocked.

"Not physically, but it's my fault. If I had gotten home in time, none of this would have happened."

"No, Pony. You're wrong. You had nothing to do with their deaths. These things just happen."

"I still feel bad."

"Well, you shouldn't. Listen, Pony. This was NOT your fault. You just were in a horrible situation, that you couldn't help. You didn't do anything wrong. Believe me, Pony." Darry pleaded.

"Then why do I feel so bad?" I asked, and I began to cry.

Soda and Darry rushed to my side. They took hold of me, and rocked me gently.

"Sh, Pony. This wasn't your fault. It's okay, baby. There's nothing you could have done to help them. It wasn't your fault." Darry said, holding me close.

I believed them. I had the hardest time trying to get myself to believe it, but I didn't. When Soda and Darry told me it, I now believed it. I wasn't to blame. It's not my fault. I'm not to blame.

So that's what was bothering Pony!

Or was it?