Chapter 5: A Temporary Reprieve

"… In watching this lovely, multifaceted woman go to sleep, I've taken into my memories the sight of the moonlight hitting on the very many different prisms of perfection Kathryn Merteuil possessed. There has never been anyone or anything more beautiful and poignant at that particular point of utter silence between us, and now, watching her as I am at the moment, I have never been more determined to break down the walls of indifference that both bind us together and tear us apart."

-An excerpt from Sebastian Valmont's journal, dated three and a half years ago

It would be a given that the Annual Valmont Benefit would be exquisite and elegantly made up, but the sight of New York's most prominent and influential figures mingling with each other amidst the classical music coming from the talented orchestra Tiffany had hired. It was a mixture of thousand dollar dresses and suits that adorned the beautiful people as they laughed and talked among themselves.

While her mother continued blabbing on to her fellow snotty bitches called friends about how Belinda was currently one of the wealthiest and hottest forces to be reckoned with in the fashion industry, the twenty-three year old managed a peaceful smile on her face even though she felt like stabbing all these idiots and watching them bleed to death. As a way of keeping her sanity, she focused on the only real, raw interaction that unfolded before her perceptive eyes.

Sebastian Valmont's physical attributes were admittedly among the best she'd seen in a while, and mind you, she belonged in a cutthroat world of extreme vanity. With the golden blond curls, serious blue eyes and that almost too pretty mouth; he was indeed on the higher part of her list. Of course, she'd seen better, but what was interesting about him was that superior, indifferent and detached air about him, as if he was a ghost in a world of reality. There, but not really. Belinda could see the tension between Kathryn and Sebastian's faces as they'd eyed each other guardedly, awkwardly, and intensely. These were the emotions the first born Merteuil had sensed, but somehow she knew there was so much more. It was always interesting to watch such a complex, hidden interaction amidst the world of superficiality they'd existed in. Annette had been whisked away by her father, a little too hesitatingly, Belinda observed. Obviously she wasn't the only one who realized that effect of Kathryn's return on Sebastian.

"So, do you get to keep the clothes from your shows?"

Belinda had long mastered that art of answering questions while her attention was somewhere else. "Some of them, yes. The ones they don't give me, I buy."

"Millicent Johnson's daughter had just won the National Model Search and now she makes five hundred thousand a week! How much do you earn, dear?"

Her lips curved into a smile, truly relishing this moment. She should've known this question would come sooner or later. She had been out of this particular kind of lifestyle for years now, but it still remained the same. A competition. Whoever had more money had more power…

"Thirty million euro."

"A year?"

"A week."… And she indeed had it.

That shut them up, and once again, she turned her attention towards the two.

---

As soon as he realized Kathryn was back home and he was left alone, Sebastian opted to go to the bar. Now, fueled by the vodka, Sebastian finally strode over to the ballroom, where the cause of his discomfort was dancing with Court Reynolds, who, as usual, leered at her openly while making suggestive come ons. Kathryn moved gracefully as though she was aware that a lot of men had been staring at her hungrily, her pretty chin tilted up to smile and laugh at Court's stupid jokes, those delicate arms were wrapped around that damn preppy alcoholic's neck, the diamonds on her wrist reflecting the light, making her stand out even more. Her brown hair had grown longer, silkier, and the color had somewhat lightened to a lighter shade of auburn, which in turn brought out those gold flecks in her emerald green eyes that were now…

Focused entirely on him. The phony smile she had when talking to Court changed, and that slow, impish smile that had been consistent in his memories of her appeared on her face.

"May I cut in?" Sebastian smirked at Reynolds, who looked defeated as soon as Kathryn didn't put up a protest.

"Sure, Valmont." Court regretfully released Kathryn, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Of course." She touched his arm flirtatiously, ignoring the fact that Court was still dating that twit Cecile while the whore fucked good old Ronald behind his unsuspecting back.

As the two were left alone, the charming expression on Kathryn's face turned into a superior one. "What are you doing?"

"I believe," he began, his hands feeling the softness of her skin as he placed them on Kathryn's lower back. "it's called dancing."

"I know what it's called, idiot. I went to Paris, not a fucking hermitage." But still, she didn't pull away and instead glanced back at her stepbrother's twinkling blue eyes. "Won't Dorothy be jealous because you're dancing with the wicked witch?"

"Do I look like I care?" he questioned brazenly, the alcohol already clouding this thoughts and unfortunately heightening his desire for the badder things in life. The things he used to love. The things he turned his back on.

Watching the blond hick's (Really, it was bubblegum pop blondes like Annette that gift the hair color a bad name) upset and jealous reaction at how the two seemed to be bickering and looking annoyingly adorable together as they danced, Belinda decided to give a little test as to where the boundaries really lay between Sebastian and Kathryn. Angling her body perfectly, she waited until Annette was close enough to hit.

"Oh!" Belinda exclaimed, her gray eyes widening as she smiled apologetically at Annette. "I'm sorry, please allow me to get you another one." Dropping a small white tablet into the new glass she'd gotten from the passing waiter, she shook it quickly before handing it back to her.

Annette's rosy cheeks flushed, "Thank you."

"No problem," Belinda said graciously, almost laughing out loud at how trusting this woman was. "I'm Belinda Van Ryan."

"Annette Hargrove. I've seen you on TV, you're the new CK model right?"

Yeah, yeah, Dorothy. Fuck off. Belinda wasn't really into the small talk, but still, it didn't hurt to torture the poor girl a bit. She was always up for that. "That's right." As Annette's gaze once again wandered to the two who seemed to look like their old selves again, (now that Annette frighteningly realized it), Belinda jumped at the chance.

"They look great together, don't they?" she commented offhandedly.

"No!" Poor little Dorothy snapped, making Belinda laugh inwardly. Annette's jealousy was so apparent she was somewhat surprised that it wasn't obvious to the other losers in this lame party.

---

"Someone's gotten his balls back." Kathryn commented, catching Belinda's eye and smiling ever so slightly at the sight of her talking to Annette, who, by the way, was about as unhappy as a little girl could be when her favorite dog died.

Sebastian chose to ignore her, and instead leaned in closer, making sure their conversation wasn't overheard by other people.

"You look beautiful, Kathryn."

"I know. You don't look too shabby yourself, dear brother. That leash Annette tied around your neck really suits you."

"Well, that remaining bit of powder on your right nostril really enhances your eyes. Now… Would that be makeup or coke?"

"What!"

"Just kidding, princess."

"Fuck you, Sebastian."

"Who said anything about sex? I thought we were over this, Kathryn… I chose Annette, remember?" As soon as the words escaped his belligerent, tipsy mouth, Sebastian knew he had gone too far. The naughty smile Kathryn had been giving him abruptly vanished as she roughly pushed him away. "Enough." She spat, turning on her heel to walk away.

"Fuck." He muttered, glaring at how that bitch model Belinda seemed to find it comical. He was about to follow Kathryn when a warm hand gripped his wrist. Sebastian turned around to find Annette looking anything but well, with her normally innocent and pretty face almost green with some sort of nausea.

"Bastian… I don't feel good…"

"What's wrong?" he immediately escorted her to one of the more secluded areas, but apparently it was too late. Annette bent over and threw up on his shoes, making him jump back instinctively.

"Dammit, Annette!" he instinctively cried, but his concern for her quickly overcame whatever disgust he'd felt. The entire room had fallen silent, and William Hargrove was nowhere to be found. Sebastian assumed the old fart had left, seeing as how everybody else ignored him.

"Was it something you ate or drank?" he asked quickly, brushing her blond hair back from her sweaty face.

Drank, perhaps?

"…don't... know…" she mumbled, her eyelids fluttering in discomfort.

"Well, I'm taking you home now, okay?"

His girlfriend winced, as if the idea of waiting in the New York traffic appalled her. "I don't think I'll make it, it's too far… Can I stay in your old room?"

He nodded; motioning for one of the waiters to clean the mess up as he gently and slowly led her up to the room. Taking off Annette's dress, Sebastian gently cleaned up her face and helped her get dressed in one of his old shirts. "Try to go to sleep, okay?" he murmured in her ear before trying to get up.

"Stay here with me…" she said sleepily, the discomfort leaving her body. Sebastian did just that, and a few minutes later, his blue eyes submitted to sleep.

---

Two o'clock in the morning and his body jerked once again, like the countless other times he'd been jolted out of rest. Sebastian rubbed his bleary eyes and found Annette fast asleep next to him, and at first he thought he was just having another one of those routine nights with Annette wherein his mind would refuse to rest and wake his entire self up.

But it wasn't. It wasn't just another night because Sebastian found himself inexplicably drawn to cross the hall and enter the blue and gold paneled room that radiated of debauchery and beauty, especially with her there. He knew he shouldn't, he knew that Kathryn's return only meant the coming of bad things, but at that point, it didn't seem to matter. She was a part of him, she was the voice that sneered whenever Sebastian attended those charity functions to please Annette, she was present in the familiar longing he'd feel every time he turned down beautiful women for the sake of remaining loyal… She was in him, in his thoughts, in between that place where he felt hatred and love at the same time. As he finally opened her door, the inner tomb she had no intention of letting him get anywhere near of, as he remembered somewhat fondly, Sebastian found her surprisingly awake and obviously stoned.

Judging from the serene, happy look in her green eyes, he was probably in no danger of flying objects thrown in his direction. She turned at the sound of the opening door and only smiled at him, as if she'd expected him to come in.

"Well, well, if it isn't my favorite stepbrother." She drawled, screwing back to hollow crucifix in place.

Sebastian scowled, "When are you going to quit that shit, Kathryn?"

She ignored him the way he had earlier avoided her during the start of the party. "Come sit next to me." She answered instead, her voice faraway.

He complied, cautiously sitting on the large sized bed that had been empty since her departure three years earlier. It felt strange to be here again, to have all these memories and thoughts playing in his head. The window was slowly being opened once again, in the moments of her lucidity, Kathryn allowed him to pass through the invisible boundaries between them for that night. Even more surprisingly, she folded her body and cuddled against his, the velvety skin on her face brushing up against his neck.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier." He said awkwardly, breathing in the scent of her hair as her fingers played with his palm.

He was only met with the sound of her soft breathing, and just when he thought she'd fallen asleep, she finally spoke, her voice clear and sharp.

"This doesn't change anything."

He nodded, and their eyes met in a silent agreement. He had chosen where to stand the moment he let Annette into his life, and both he and Kathryn knew it. Does he regret it? At times, when the world was silent and he was left in his thoughts, Sebastian wonders the exact same thing. However, choices had been made and the lines had never been more fucking clear. She hated him, and he should hate her. He does, in fact. Most of the time, they hate each other.

"You're just a toy, Sebastian."

But three years were a long time to be away, and Kathryn knew it. Whether they both wanted to admit it or not, they had indeed craved for the other's presence like the other instances they'd been together. That was what that night was, a silent, secret gratification of their illicit longing for the other. The effects of the drug were starting to wear off, but she didn't push him away. If anything, she only moved closer, the impending knowledge of the things to come making Kathryn want to have as many of these rare and albeit somewhat twisted moments with him before he started to truly despise her.

No matter what happened, Sebastian would get what he deserved.

---

In the darkness of the Valmont townhouse, there was a figure that lingered outside the partially open door of Kathryn's room. Her sharp eyes watched in gleaming fascination as Sebastian couldn't seem to bring himself to leave her side.

"You're not ready."

"May I ask why?"

"You know why."

The two spoke in hushed whispers, their secret world confined to the boundaries of her ice princess domicile. Kathryn was obviously out of it, and Belinda had gotten enough experience with drugs to know that her sister was under the influence. Her head was nuzzled against his neck and their bodies, for what was worth, looked so at peace for the first time in their restless lives. People never saw, but she did. His hand lovingly brushed back her hair as he watched her finally fall asleep. His blue eyes seemed to watch her intently, as if intending to memorize her features, no doubt to immortalize her as she was in the infamous journal Kathryn had told Belinda he had.

As Belinda turned around and left the two in their temporary state of neutrality, a thought occurred to her.

This changes everything.

A/N Hey guys, I just posted this and I didn't give it the usual editing, so sorry if there are any mistakes. Don't worry, I'll reread it again later, I just wanted you guys to have something to read. ;-D I'm addicted to this story!

Wicked vamp: Dammit! I knew that name sounded familiar… Sorry, kerimack! But the name's where the similarity ends, I promise you. BTW, goodluck with your midterms!

Katie: I know it sucks that Belinda's kind of the focus now, but she's reallyyyyy important to what happens. (As with Cassidy in Breaking the Broken, if I recall Sam saying… (See how obsessed I am with this fic?lol)) (And yes, I finally have an idea as to what actually will happen! Hahaha!)

Sam: Who says she won't go after Sebastian? Dammit, even I want to go after him!Grrr. ;-P