Author's Note: In the name of being sporadic, the notes are at the top again
1000 Reviews!
Over the course of working on NCT, reviews have helped me overcome numerous cases of writers block, aided me in improving and refining my style, and have given me motivation to keep writing even after making various major mistakes.
For that, this chapter is dedicated to anyone and everyone who's ever given me feedback; be it in a review, an e-mail, or by way of instant messaging. Give yourselves a pat on the back.
In other news, during my research for various recent chapters I have come across many interesting facts for fans and authors alike, and I present some of the most interesting here:
-ANBU actually stands for something. That being: Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai, which roughly means "Assassination Tactics Special Squad." If it were a technical acronym it would be ASTB, but by taking the first two letters of the first and last words, ANBU is formed, which anyone would admit is much cooler than ASTB
-I took some liberties with Naruto's age by bending the rules a bit to make him a year older than strict cannon, but when it comes to Kisame and Itachi's ages, even the official sources contradict themselves. Itachi is quoted by official and semi-official sources to be both 17 and 18, while Kisame is said to be anything from 23 to 29. I went with the ages from the Second Official Data Book
-Every character in Naruto has a different birthday, and the odds of no two people sharing a single date of birth in that large a group is one in fifteen
-Many incorrect names are floating around for various character's parents, and according again to the Second Official Data Book:
Shino's father is Aburame Shibi,
Choji's father is Akimichi Choza,
Ino's father is Yamanaka Inoichi,
Shikamaru's father is Nara Shikaku and his mother is Nara Yoshino,
finally leaving Sasuke whose father was Uchiha Fugaku and whose mother was Uchiha Mikoto
-Dan (the past lover of Tsunade who died) was Shizune's uncle
-Kisame shares the record for tallest character with Shigure (a rain nin killed by Gaara in the forest of death) and is also almost the exact same height as myself (6' 3")
None of the above information was taken directly from the books themselves (I can't read Japanese) but came from a secondary source by way of a website's translation
Due to huge length, the uber-chapter that would have been chapter 26 has been split into three smaller chapters, the other two of which will be posted in the next few days. Things that don't make sense here will once you read the other two sections
Now, if you've read all 400 some words, feel proud, for you have reached actual story.
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Kisame sat in the dawn's light contentedly, enjoying his few minutes of peace before the other's started to wake up.
Having spent years with Itachi, the two had many unspoken understandings, one of which being that the morning was Kisame's time. Unfortunately, Naruto was not a party to said agreement.
"Good morning, Kisame!"
"I see you're especially obnoxious this morning, what's the occasion?"
"Is there something wrong with just being happy to be alive?"
"Yes. It interrupts my quiet time"
Pouting, Naruto went back over to his sleeping bag and crawled in, "Fine then…"
A few minutes passed, and Naruto got back out of his sleeping bag and walked back over to where Kisame was sitting, "See, that was the time when you were supposed to say: 'It's alright, Naruto, I was just kidding, I enjoy your company' "
"But I don't right now, because you're interrupting my quiet time"
"Still, you were supposed to SAY it to make me feel better"
"Actually, I really don't care about making you feel better either"
Naruto grumbled and went over to start a fire going. The sun slowly rose above the horizon and as breakfast approached completion Kisame stretched languidly and stood up, "So then Naruto, there was no sign of you two when we turned in, so when did you get back?"
"Not exactly sure, but I can't have been asleep for more than five or so hours"
"How come you're awake so early then?"
"Wasn't sleeping too well, so I just decided to get up"
Kisame's nose twitched and he inhaled deeply; dissecting the myriad of scents he detected, "Hmmm…" he gave Naruto a weighted look as the boy reached to sample some of the eggs he was frying
"What?"
"You smell like blood, water, and Temari. The blood I can understand from your little bandit hunting excursion, but as for the rest, do the math"
Him + Temari + Water + Out Late …Naruto choked and spewed out half-chewed egg, "We were in the water with our clothes on"
Kisame blinked, "Oh…Too bad"
"………"
The shark man reached and snatched the pan from Naruto, "Mmm…these look tasty" he looked at the frozen boy, "What are you doing?"
"Trying very hard to forget what you just said"
"Why? The eggs really are tasty. One of these days you need to tell me how you make them"
/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
Sasuke sat in a bar munching peanuts out of bowl when Kabuto plopped down next to him, "So, what information do we have on this Mamoru Shinobu?"
"Far as I can tell, pretty typical rich guy. Dabbles in politics, has multiple houses and is currently at his main estate. Well known for having violent conflicts with his wife, he's considered somewhat of a brute"
"Any clues as to who might have placed the price on his life?"
Kabuto nodded, "Probably one of his sons. They stand to have the most to gain from his death and aren't well known for getting along with either of their parents"
"So we're being employed by a person to kill one of his parents and frame the other?"
"Essentially"
Sasuke pushed himself up, "Alright then, let's move out. I don't want to hang around in any place for too long. Konoha caught me once and I'd rather they not do it again"
/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
It wasn't until everyone had gotten up and eaten breakfast that they realized they had almost nothing to do that day. Naruto had given Temari a good morning hug and thus had a quota of two left for the day, but was unsure how to proceed and decided to worry about the other two later.
Spending the morning training was fine, but by mid-afternoon Naruto was getting antsy. Seeing as how it was Friday, he would be going with Temari to a movie the next day, and was venturing into (what was for him) uncharted territory.
Normally, one would ask for advice in such situations, but Naruto was unsure as to whether he dared ask Kisame or Itachi for advice with regards to such a sensitive topic. Particularly since both of them were, and had always been as far as Naruto knew, single.
Sweat running down his body from training, he lay down on the forest floor and did what philosophers call 'stewing in one's own juices'. He continued to stew for the better part of half an hour, but never managed to come to what he would call a satisfactory conclusion, and finally decided to talk to Kisame, being the more normal of the two, and to just start conversation and see where it went.
As Temari was in the city for the afternoon and Itachi was playing his guitar, Kisame was training alone and thus relatively easy to find. Still somewhat unsure of himself, Naruto watched with a bit of envy as Samehada was whipped through sword katas far more complex than anything the boy himself had ever done.
With a final twist and downward crosscut, the routine was done, and Kisame slowly lowered Samehada and walked over to where he had a bottle of water. Although logically Naruto knew he had long since been detected, he still felt the need to step forward into the light before speaking, "I see you're as frightening as ever, Kisame-san"
Kisame reached and took a few gulps of water, "I'm doing well today. I had been worried that my skills might have been getting rusty, but apparently not"
"I don't suppose you'd like to show me some of those sword forms?"
"Ha! You think you can keep up?"
"We'll see, won't we?"
Kisame took a few more gulps of water, then picked up Samehada and went into a stance, which Naruto quickly copied. As had become their custom, Kisame would slowly go through a relatively short sequence of movements, which Naruto would then imitate. They would continue until they had gone through the entire sequence two or three times, at which point Naruto would start trying the form by himself and Kisame would correct his mistakes.
Naruto waited for a few minutes until they had fallen into a rhythm, then tried to be casual, "Ne, Kisame, have you ever had a girlfriend?"
To Naruto's shock, the shark man hesitated mid cut and fell off balance, dropping to one knee to steady himself, "A long time ago. Why do you ask?"
Slightly taken aback, Naruto took a moment to formulate a response, "I've just never heard you talk about that kind of thing…"
Kisame turned toward him and Naruto saw something dark in his face, "There's a reason for that. Now lets try that last form again from the top"
Naruto suddenly realized that he had somehow managed to devote his afternoon to training as well, and Kisame's sharp response was, for the moment, forgotten.
By the time suppertime rolled around, Naruto was ready to sleep. He was about to make a dive for his sleeping bag when he realized he had forgotten something.
Managing to catch Kisame in a surprise hug from behind, (causing no small amount of confusion and mayhem) he then came to an impasse.
Standing only a few feet away was Uchiha Itachi, and having caught on to Naruto's little game, was watching him closely.
Naruto, on the other hand, was busy being annoyed by how much Temari seemed to enjoy watching him futilely try to reason with the Uchiha.
"But I need to…"
"No"
"But Temari says…"
"No"
"Just this once…"
"No"
"I'll pay…"
"No"
"Bu…"
"No"
Diplomacy having failed, Naruto was left with only one option. He tightened all the muscles in his legs and dove forward. Itachi was of course faster, but Naruto followed him as he ran, unwilling to fail to meet his hug quota on his first day.
Unfortunately, Itachi seemed equally unwilling to allow Naruto within ten feet of him. And so followed a chase of epic proportions, lasting almost a full twenty minutes. The stalemate was finally ended when Itachi found himself immobile as something cold and wet trapped his feet. This rather abrupt stop caused Naruto to crash into him, leaving them both in a heap on the ground.
Itachi glared balefully up at an innocently whistling Kisame and slowly pulled himself up. Followed only moments later by a somewhat disoriented Naruto.
Satisfied that running into Itachi at high velocity was as good as he was going to do, Naruto found his way over to his sleeping bag and crawled in. At first it looked like he was going to be left alone, but he soon felt someone within his bubble of perception, "Temari? Whadaya want?"
She was crouched a couple feet away, looking decidedly amused, "You know that I wasn't really expecting you to try and hug Itachi"
"Then I'm glad I exceeded your expectations"
"Not only that, Kisame's eyes almost bugged out of his head when you caught him from behind, so for future reference, one hug a day will be fine from now on"
"Really, Temari," he said with a partial grin, "there's no need to get jealous. Kisame and I are just friends"
"…………"
"I have my eyes closed right now, but I'll bet you all the money in my pocket that you're blushing red as a strawberry"
Temari (who was, in fact, blushing red as a strawberry) stood up abruptly and stomped off in a huff.
Snuggling deeper into his sleeping bag, Naruto sighed contentedly; why do I have the feeling she's going to get me back for that tomorrow…
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Naruto was up bright and early again the next morning, only to find Kisame nowhere in sight. There was, however, a note tapped to the frying pan that gave vague indications that the shark man had gone into the city and would be returning late that night.
Lacking his morning entertainment, Naruto set his sights on breakfast, and soon had six eggs frying for himself, and two each for Itachi and Temari. His eggs were soon a thing of the past, and yet Naruto was still the only one awake.
Left to his own devices, he began to again stew. Kisame had been no help at all, and as Naruto didn't even want to think about talking to Itachi about relationships (the man had, after all, killed his entire family), he was left with only one option. He sat and allowed his mind to relax. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
He opened his eyes and looked into the abyss that was his mind, "Hey, bastard fox!"
There was no immediate response, so Naruto started to wander and soon discovered why.
The chibi fox was curled up in a ball, sleeping contentedly. So Naruto kicked it.
"What the hell!"
"You were sleeping""I have long since discovered that most of your life is incredibly boring, so I sleep"
"Well, I need you right now""Seeing as how we aren't under attack, I'm going to assume you want help with something other than busting stuff up"
"Don't sound so disappointed. I almost never bother you, so you can afford to be at least a little accommodating when I do"
"You kicked me!"
Naruto was now realizing he might have made a mistake in his method of waking the fox, "Not very hard…"
"Even so, it really hurt"
"I'll tell you what, I only need your advice on a few things, and I'll make it worth your while""You better, runt"
As tempting as it was, Naruto knew he didn't have time to start an argument with the fox.
"Ok, here's my problem…"/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
It's a biological fact that all people need sleep, but everyone sleeps in a slightly different way. For Uchiha Itachi, sleep means only being 95 aware of everything going on around him, as compared to 100 when he's awake.
Thus, for one such as him, waking up is not such a big deal as for normal people. For example, long before he was awake he already knew that Kisame was somewhere far away, Temari was still asleep, Naruto was sitting near the fire in a state of semi-awareness, and his nose had already smelled cooked eggs sitting in the pan, waiting to be eaten.
So therefore, waking up for Itachi is more a matter of just deciding to start moving, which he did. Contrary to what many would suspect based on his unmatched speed in combat, he wasn't a particularly fast moving person, or rather, he never found a reason to hurry.
And so, when he walked over to get some fried eggs, it was a slow walk, a deliberate walk, the walk of someone absolutely certain that his eggs would still be there whether he arrived in ten seconds or ten minutes.
When he finally did arrive, he scooped his eggs onto a paper plate and started to munch. After days of boredom, Itachi felt the rare sudden impulse to do something, and with the others all preoccupied, he wouldn't even have to explain himself (which was good, since he didn't know what he was doing yet) or run the risk of someone else tagging along.
Completely set on his plan-less plan of action, he finished his eggs and slunk out of camp. He was again in no rush and so arrived at the edge of Rivercity twenty odd minutes later, and started to wander in hopes of finding something interesting.
As luck would have it, after laughing silently at people using oversized eating utensils, he came upon a lady behind a cart that advertised: FREE T-SHIRTS
Now although not a person who wore T-Shirts, Itachi found himself unable (as many people are) to pass up a chance at getting free stuff, "Excuse me, miss, I'd like a shirt…"
"That's fine young man, but you have to complete a short survey"
Itachi's eyes narrowed, "Your sign says nothing about a survey…"
"Yes, but I assure you it won't take long, and it will help my company improve our services!" The lady emphasized this with a fake sugary smile.
The Uchiha mentally weighed the time it would take to complete the survey against how much he wanted the t-shirt and against how much mayhem it would cause if he just pinned the old lady to the wall with a kunai and took the shirt, "I will take your survey"
"Excellent!" The fake sugary smile got wider, "here you go!"
Taking the document, Itachi momentarily reconsidered the 'pin old lady to wall, steal shirt and run' method, but resigned himself to his fate, since he was to lazy right then to want to bother escaping authorities.
He sat down in a café next door and examined the survey he was to complete.
Name? Uchiha Itachi Occupation? Shinobi Home Address? (Somewhat at a loss, Itachi wrote in his old one) 12 Uchiha Ln, KonohaSex? (Itachi blinked and looked up at the old lady suspiciously)
No, thank you
Age?
19
Weight?
Don't knowWhat is your favorite snack food?
PockyWhat is your favorite meal?
PockyWhat is your favorite desert?
PockyHappy that it had gone so quickly, he jumped to his feet and passed his paper to the lady, who looked at him untrustingly, but gave him a shirt anyway. Quite satisfied with his first accomplishment, Itachi set off in search of other things to amuse him.
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Mumbling to herself, Temari rolled over as the sunlight tried with all its might to invade her eyes. Unfortunately for her, sunlight pretty much always wins such battles, and this one was no exception.
As she was forced into wakefulness, she homed in on the only other person nearby, "Uhhh…Naruto…watime isit?"
Naruto looked over from his place at the fire pit, "Not sure exactly, but its around 11AM"
She sat bolt upright, "YOU LET ME SLEEP UNTIL 11AM!"
"Yeah…why not?"
Now that she thought about it, there really wasn't a reason to get up early, but she couldn't very well admit it after such a dramatic outburst, so she made one up "I wanted to…polish my fan…yes…that's right, polish my fan"
"Well, you can do that now"
Temari smelled food, "Is that breakfast?"
"Lunch, actually, but I made enough for you"
After a couple minutes, Temari actually managed to get up and make her way over to where there was food, "and we need to get a newspaper or something, because…"
FWAP!
"Sorry, wasn't looking where I was throwing that"
Temari picked up the newspaper from where it had landed after bouncing off her head and flipped to the entertainment section, "So…we have 'JAWS 10th anniversary edition', 'My Neighbor Totoro', 'Rocky XVII', a bunch of dumb superhero movies, and 'Harry potter meets Godzilla'"
"I'm assuming that one is pretty short?"
She skimmed through the synopsis, "No, its not. Apparently the main characters talk for almost two hours about their various angsty lives, so when the big lizard finally does come and crush them into a bloody mess, everyone is glad their dead and leaves the movie contented"
"Ah…these moviemakers are clever"
"Anyway…I'm for going to JAWS, since I've never seen it"
Naruto sighed as he served the food, "I've seen a total of five movies in my life, so I'm good for anything"
Temari noticed what it was she had been handed, "What is this stuff?"
"Pan fried spam and instant rice"
"That sounds…weird"
"Try it first, then comment"
To Temari's great surprise, the Spam & Rice was quite good, so she and Naruto spent the next while focused primarily on eating. It wasn't until her food was almost completely gone that she noticed it was suspiciously quiet, "Where are the two fruitcakes?"
Naruto shrugged, "Out I guess, neither really specified what they were doing"
"All the better for us then. Having those two always around gets a bit tiresome"
"Maybe, but they've been invaluable to me as friends. I would have been dead months ago if not for those two"
Temari ate her last bit of lunch and threw her plate into the fire, "Still…"
Naruto pushed the log he had been sitting on out of the way and laid down on the grass, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Besides, you wanted a 'fruitcake' free day, and today we have one"
"Not quite…there's still one left"
Laughing and moving over to sit closer to him, Temari suddenly had her legs kicked out from under her and fell forward, landing on Naruto with a dull thump
Naruto managed to hide his amusement behind nonchalance, "You said I needed to work on human contact"
Deciding that two could most certainly play this game, Temari pushed her self up but only adjusted her position slightly, so she was next to him instead of on top of him with her arm draped across his chest and her head on his shoulder, "Ahhh…this is kinda comfy"
Naruto had not expected that.
His moment of confidence fizzling like a cheap firework, anxiety rolled over him in waves. Feeling him tense, Temari just pulled herself closer, "What is it with you?"
"People never touch me," Naruto mumbled, "that's just the way it's always been"
"Wait a second, didn't you live in some kind of foster home in your early life?"
"Yeah. They changed my diapers with tongs and bathed me by holding me by my arm and dunking me in soapy water. Most people in Konoha would have rather cut off their own hands than touch my stomach"
"That's…I don't even know what that is…I can't even imagine…"
He didn't respond at first, as he was waiting for his nerves to calm. When they finally did, Naruto reached around and pulled her body flush against his.
"Don't worry about it," he said with a grin, and sounding only slightly strained, "of all the things I've had to get used to in my life, this is one of the better ones"
The silence was tense at first, but passed through the stages of being awkward, normal, peaceful, and finally became a comfortable silence. Neither paid much attention to the passage of time, and Naruto soon started to dose off in the afternoon sun.