Author's note: undying gratitude to Gidget/Zachsbitch for one of the hottest images ever to come out of the written word (the "large hot man" line).
Chapter 13
Kendall left the tiny bathroom and trudged over to the first available empty seat. She didn't want to sit next to Ryan again, especially if it meant having Zach in her line of sight. Exhausted from her crying jag, she fell asleep. Her dream was vague and formless. She heard people whispering to her, felt them grabbing at her arms and shoulders and hair. It was reminiscent of her time in the Thai jail, but these weren't prisoners. They were the people in her life. More to the point, they were people who have, at one time or another, caused her misery. Erica, Bianca, Ryan, Trey, Julia, Greenlee, etc. She strained her ears to hear what they were saying, only to recoil when the words were revealed to be taunts. They were telling her how worthless she was, that no one wanted her around, and why couldn't she just make everyone happy and leave for good. In the dream, Kendall curled into a ball and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting in dread for the blows to start next. Nobody wanted her…nobody wanted her….
She felt a jolt run through her whole body. Suddenly, the dream changed. The jolt was from her being thrown on top of a large desk, short of breath, as she felt a large hot man slip inside her. Kendall's eyes popped open and she sat upright, gasping at the impact the dream had on her psyche. The large hot man had been Zach. She'd felt his eyes burning into her. Kendall looked out the window and saw that the jet had landed. So that was the jolt she felt. She'd incorporated it into her dream. Not so much a dream, really, as a memory. It had been just like that night she and Zach made love. Kendall groaned, not wanting to remember that night, but her brain refused to cooperate.
After announcing that she was pregnant, Zach had kept his word about taking care of her. He arranged for nutritious meals to be delivered (and even made a few himself), he hired a maid service, offered to drive her anywhere she wanted to go. He was always touching her, putting his arm around her, sitting ever so close to her on the sofa as they watched old movies. But the best and the worst thing had been the massages. Foot rubs, back rubs, shoulder rubs. They were heaven, and they were hell. The first few times he did it, she was left feeling completely relaxed. After awhile, though, she started to feel aroused and wanted him to do more, touch more places. But he always remained a gentleman. Sometimes she would catch a particular motion becoming more sensual than medicinal, but he would quickly become businesslike again. She was becoming frustrated, and the more frustrated she became, the crankier she got.
One night they were in his office, going over some reports that needed her signature. Kendall wanted Zach to explain some figures she was looking at, so he came around the desk and leaned over to see what she was talking about. His right hand was resting on her back, while his left hand was pointing at a chart. His voice rumbled next to her left ear, distracting her from understanding a word he said. Kendall eventually lost her composure completely. She slammed the report shut. "I've had enough of this! How in the hell am I supposed to keep up with it all? I have a Fusion campaign to launch, Erica bugging me to do a segment on her show, Greenlee breathing down my neck about the pregnancy, and this damn casino. Its too much!" Zach had frowned in concern and put his arm around her. "You're right, you have too much going on. Why don't we just forget all this for now." She shoved his hand off her shoulder. "Stop touching me! Just stop it right now or I'll freak out." Zach looked at her in amazement, and then cocked his head. "I think you're not feeling yourself. How about I call down for a meal?" She threw her hands up. "Great idea. How about strawberries again? Remember that? You hand fed me strawberries the other day. Why don't you just kill me and get it over with."
Zach had his hand on the telephone. "So…no strawberries?" Kendall marched over and shoved the telephone off the desk. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Deliberately tormenting me. We agreed to a marriage in name only, and I was very insistent on that point. So now you're getting me back by taking advantage of my hormonal state. Well, you want to see hormonal? Here it is." She started flinging objects from his desk onto the floor. Soon pencils, folders, stapler, in box, and other various office supplies were littering the carpet.
Zach grabbed her wrists as she was reaching for the keyboard. "I think you proved your point, whatever the hell it was." She pulled her wrists away. "My point? I don't have a point. You do have a point, however, and you should be driving it home right about now, instead of wasting my time with reports and...and…and fucking strawberries!" She glared at him, breathing heavily, her eyes gleaming with fury and unshed tears. He stared at her for a few moments, and then light dawned.
Kendall's reverie was broken by the sound of the co-pilot. She looked up and saw that he was explaining the procedures for leaving the jet. Kendall sighed and unbuckled her seatbelt. She stood up and saw Zach moving into the aisle. He was glaring at Ryan, who stood up, apparently having been sitting across from him. When Zach turn towards the front, she saw Ryan grinning at him from behind. What the hell was going on between them? Aidan, Greenlee and Tad also stood up and moved into the aisle.
Greenlee woke up when the co-pilot made his speech. Despite her anger and confusion at seeing Ryan and Kendall sitting together, she had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion. As everyone lined up in the aisle, she noticed Kendall was in the back. As they started to shuffle forward, she moved to the side so that Tad would go ahead of her and she could talk to Kendall. "What exactly was going on between you and Ryan? You two looked awfully cozy for awhile there." Kendall blinked at her. "What?" Greenlee rolled her eyes. "Don't play coy. You were whispering to each other, rubbing noses, hugging. Trying to rekindle the old romance by whispering sweet nothings in his ear?" Kendall laughed. "We were talking about Jonathan. Ooh la la!"
Greenlee made a cutting gesture. "I find it hard to believe that Jonathan inspired such physical displays of affection." Kendall's shoulders slumped in exasperation. "Greenlee! Look, I was whispering to him about my baby – I didn't want Zach to overhear. Then I told him about the surrogacy, and he gave me a hug to thank me for taking care of you. The nose thing was just an accident, we didn't suddenly turn into Eskimos." They were almost out of the tunnel and at the gate. Greenlee stopped and turned to Kendall. "Really? You weren't being lovey dovey?" Kendall sighed. "I don't believe this, Greenlee. You sure are earning your name, you know that? How could you possibly think that I would flirt with your husband right in front of you. Right in front of my husband?" Greenlee hung her head. "I guess I didn't think about it too hard. I was just so angry." Kendall put her hands on Greenlee's shoulders. "As I said, the Greenlee-eyed monster was coming out. And why was that? Because you still love your husband."
Greenlee waved her hand. "I know where you're going with this, and I can't think about that right now. We have to get through the Jonathan crisis before I can start thinking about the future. I want to make sure that he rots in jail." She looked over and saw Ryan standing with Livia Frye. He looked like he had been hit with a two-by-four. Greenlee clutched Kendall's arm. "Something's happened!" By the time they made their way over, Ryan was taking off with Livia and two police officers. Greenlee went over to Zach. "What happened?" Zach glanced over at Kendall, then looked down at Greenlee. "Jonathan was knifed by another prisoner. He's in surgery right now, but they don't think he'll make it." Greenlee's eyes widened. "Ryan must be devastated. I have to go to the hospital." She whipped out her cell phone to make transportation arrangements.
Zach contemplated Greenlee's reaction. No look of relief or satisfaction that Jonathan might die for real this time. She simply felt concern for her husband. Maybe she wasn't through with Ryan after all. Maybe they would get back together. He looked up at Kendall again, and saw that she was looking at him. How would she feel about her hopes dashed again? It was better this way – the further away from Ryan she was, the better. Zach told Ryan on the jet that he would keep her away from him, but he doubted that would be an easy prospect. As he said earlier, when Kendall wanted something, stopping her was next to impossible.
Zach walked over to Kendall. "Did you hear?" She nodded solemnly. "I'll go with Greenlee to the hospital and make sure she gets through this okay." He gazed down at her. "What about you? Who will make sure you get through this okay?" She blinked at him. "Once upon a time, it would have been you." Guilt stabbed through him. He'd wanted so much to be there for her during her pregnancy. Instead he'd gotten caught up in Julia's mess and landed himself in a jail cell for weeks. "I'll take you and Greenlee to the hospital." She bit her lip. "What about Haiti?" He took a deep breath. Was she really so eager for the divorce? "Haiti's not going anywhere. Right now there are more important things to worry about." Now was not the time to tell her that he was going to refuse to give her a divorce. He turned to tell Greenlee that his limo would take them to the hospital, and missed Kendall's smile of relief.
Author's note: Before I get lynched – yes, I do plan to continue the flashback.