Chapter 20: Revenge is Her Cruciform

"And they left, slowly, one by one, with reluctance, leaving the safety of the light for the chill certainties of the darkness."

-Neil Gaiman

Revenge is Kathryn Merteuil's platinum hollow cruciform, the very depiction of the dark haired green eyed twenty one year old socialite. Beautiful and unique, admired by many for the exudation of religion and morals, but if you take a closer look, if by some chance you're able to stop feeling the smooth intricate carvings that both distort and beautify the pendant with your hands, you will find that just like her, Kathryn's cherished ornament is hollow and filled with a substance that can bring you pleasure while thoroughly fucking you up in the long run. She was the white powder that had to be cut into fine lines and taken infrequently… if you want to keep your life.

The irony of this image only confirms the already well known fact that she was indeed a woman comprised of contradictions. If revenge was indeed her cherished pendant, then what will it imply if she carried this everywhere she went but rarely used it anymore? But then again, rare is the word, isn't it? The problem with this is that Kathryn unscrews the top off during her moments of solitude, so it's difficult to know whether or not she's stopped entirely… As was the case with her cruel plans of retribution.

These were the thoughts running through Mathieu De Comte's mind as he stepped into the Valmont house, worried for Belinda and quite frankly a bit anxious of what he might find he went inside his fiancée's bedroom unannounced. So she was progressing with Valmont quite well, but he wasn't surprised. He would've bought her the Bordeaux property even if she hadn't bragged about her ability to charm Sebastian; sometimes even Kathryn didn't know what she was capable of and mostly ended up getting more than she'd bargained for.

"Can somebody clean my fucking room?" Belinda's cross voice echoed in the hallway and Mathieu smiled at the sight of her, all five feet eight inches of the angelic and flawless Merteuil beauty tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

"I'd try, but cleaning rooms aren't really my forte. However, if you'd like some investment tips, I'd be happy to help."

Her blond, corkscrew curls whirled smoothly as she turned at the sound of his voice. Belinda's gray eyes widened and her eyebrows rose, wrinkling the gauze on her upper right forehead. He immediately felt terrible for being gone but found himself smiling at her shock.

"I know I've been gone, but have I been gone for so long that you'd forget me?" he questioned in mock seriousness. She smiled back and strode over to hug him, her arms tightening around his neck for a while at the thought of her father in her room the previous night. Mathieu was back now, things would be okay.

At least, for Belinda. For Sebastian, however, this might present a problem.

That distinct Mathieu smell made her smile while he drew circles on her back with his palms, knowing that this was the move to comfort her. "You're really here." She said quietly, already feeling secure.

"I am." He responded softly, the worry apparent in his voice. There was a crease on his forehead as he frowned, brushing back her hair from her face. "I'm sorry I couldn't come back sooner… What happened?"

"Belinda, about last night—" a deep voice interrupted their conversation and Mathieu pulled back, a hint of amusement in his brown eyes at Sebastian's reaction of his return.

Mathieu raised his eyebrows at his companion, "About last night?" he inquired, a smile peeking through his lips. "Don't tell me you couldn't resist."

Valmont threw him a withering look, "Hey, it's not what it sounds like. I didn't fuck her, I'm sure you're doing that already."

"Meaning?" Mathieu challenged, clenching his fists at the cocky look in Sebastian's blue eyes.

"What do you think it means? You're cheating on Kathryn with her sister, of all people. That's just sick and wrong."

Belinda had to bite the inside of her cheeks from laughing out loud. This came from a guy who's cheating on his girlfriend with his stepsister. "I don't think you're in a position to talk to him about cheating on someone, Sebastian, and I don't certainly think you're in the best position to talk to him about morals and boundaries about where one should and shouldn't cheat." She interjected, giving him a pointed look.

Sebastian scowled, "Oh, fuck off, Belinda. Don't ruin my day, De Comte's already doing it well enough on his own."

"Don't talk to her like that." He interrupted coldly, staring at Sebastian with immense hatred. All the nightmares Kathryn had, those cold, bitter first few nights of being alone in a foreign place just because she wanted to escape her stepbrother's betrayal reached his memory, thus crystallizing Mathieu's dislike for the arrogant curly haired bastard that stood in front of him.

"Honestly, can't you all get along? This is the second time I've walked in on you arguing." Kathryn interrupted, stopping her stroll at the sound of loud voices exchanging snide snipes. Despite herself, she felt her mouth turn up at the sight of Mathieu, his brown eyes focused on her and a grin mirroring her own. "Oh, wait. The first time, I walked in, introduced you, and then you started fighting."

He immediately felt his anger slip away at the sight of Kathryn smirking. Walking past Belinda and Valmont, who were still exchanging dark looks, he picked Kathryn up by her waist and kissed her, feeling foolishly happy when she returned the kiss.

"Miss me?" she murmured, the mischief back on her expression. Mathieu could feel Sebastian's gaze boring hateful holes into his back but he ignored it.

"Of course."

"Breakfast?"

Mathieu kissed her forehead, noticing how Kathryn exchanged a brief glance with Sebastian before leading the way into the dining room.

---

There was a small wrinkle between his eyebrows while he listened with rapt attention to the unbelievable words coming out of Belinda's mouth.

"You do know there's only one way to settle this." He replied thoughtfully and already the female siblings looked uncomfortable in their seats. "We go back to Marseilles, have the grave dug up and see for ourselves. Personally, I think it's odd that Julian would choose to show up after more than a decade…" he met Kathryn's green eyes and shrugged slightly. It was clear that although Mathieu wanted to give Belinda the shadow of the doubt, the mere fact that the concussion might have triggered a relapse bothered him more.

The two blanched at the mention of their first home, memories of Julian's rough laugh and gloved hands on their small bodies not at all making them look forward to coming back.

He sensed their hesitance, his heart going out for Kathryn and Belinda. Despite their hard as nails attitude and the capability to maim and destroy those they hated, they shared a certain past, the same past that pierced a hole through their cruel attitudes. He was there to make sure that doesn't happen. They were both too important, and when he found Julian, he was definitely not going to show the same empathy and mercy he only possessed when it came to the Merteuil siblings.

"Fine, take Belinda along. Let me know how it turns out." Kathryn replied indifferently, and it was clear to both Sebastian and Mathieu that there was no way in hell she was going back to that place.

He took his fiancée's hand in his own, "I'll be there." He murmured, "You have to come with us, Kathryn. You need to see it as much as she does."

"What's going on?" Sebastian asked curiously and Mathieu couldn't help but throwing him a patronizing look. So he didn't know about what the sick fuck did to Belinda and Kathryn, and Mathieu felt strangely smug, having been elevated in the unspoken competition between them with the information Kathryn had obviously failed to give her stepbrother.

For once, Kathryn ignored the confused look on his handsome, blue eyed face. "I can't." she answered silently, "I have to stay here."

With him?

"Why?" it was a single word yet its implications were far greater than anybody could ever fathom.

"Oh, Mathieu." She sighed, "It's not what you think. I just… Ask me to go anywhere else, just not Marseilles."

"Will somebody be sensitive enough to actually include me in this conversation?" Valmont's annoyance had reached its peak, obviously disturbed at the fact that he was being ignored and at the intimacy that still existed between Kathryn and Mathieu.

His frustration, however, was unheard of by Kathryn. She had too much on her mind right now; it was clearly not the time or the place. He clenched his jaw as Mathieu said something in her ear that made her nod.

"Fine." She said flatly, her green eyes mirroring resignation. "Let's leave tomorrow."

He pulled out his cell phone to charter a private plane to Marseilles, excusing himself from breakfast. Belinda was playing listlessly with her food and her sister was still wearing the aloof expression on her beautiful face.

"Kathryn, what the fuck is going on?"

"None of your business."

"What's with your father?"

She flashed him a dangerous glare and even Belinda looked up with interest. The gray eyed blonde put her fork down and looked at Kathryn to see if she would trust him enough to tell him the damaging truth that could make her weak in front of him.

"Nothing, okay? Don't you have school or something?"

"What's wrong? Why the hell are you so disturbed about the whole idea of your dad being alive? It's not like he molested you as a child. What? Did he have a go at you? Finger you? Feel you up?" he asked snidely, unknowingly making her angrier.

She stood up sharply, the chair making a loud groan as it damaged the shiny wooden floor. "It's one thing to fuck me, it's quite another to fuck with me." She spat and he felt his knees go weak at the realization that his joke had hit her where it hurt.

"Oh, God. He did, didn't he?" he gasped as Kathryn avoided his gaze.

"I've lost whatever appetite I had." Belinda announced, stomping up to her room. She hate, hate, hated Valmont for bringing it up. What an arrogant fuckhead.

"Christ." He ran a hand through his thick blond locks, his beautiful blue eyes widening in utter shock. He'd always known that Kathryn had been into some pretty sick shit in the past, but this was on a whole new level.

"You can leave now, Mathieu's here." She replied coldly, brushing past him only to have Sebastian grab her arm.

"So what? I was just some fucktoy while your boyfriend wasn't around?"

She threw a contemptuous look of ice at the way he was holding on to her, "You said it, not me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pack."

He forced her to face him, trying not to appear undaunted at her answer. He had severely pissed her off, and this was how she dealt with it. Knowing Kathryn for as long as he did, he was getting used to it. "I'm coming with you."

They could both hear Mathieu's voice in the next room, talking in that calm way he did. It didn't help matters.

"Like hell you are. You're insane." She snapped, pulling back her arm harshly.

"Can't a stepbrother be there for his stepsister?"

"Not when he's fucking her." There was a shadow of a smile on her gorgeous face and he felt relieved to see it.

"Why not? It certainly makes things more interesting."

"Because I'm engaged." She answered harshly, the smile leaving her face. "You can't be there."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?"

"You're in love with her, you don't love me anymore."

"It's just a bet."

Her face scrunched up disbelievingly, "Were you dropped on your head as a child?"

"Were you?" he shot back, "I'm going with you to Paris, Kathryn. That's the end of it."

"No, you're not."

"What," he asked slowly, "Makes you so fucking sure?"

"Because if I see even a glimpse of you in Marseilles, this sordid affair is over."

"That's not fair!" he raised his voice angrily, not at all pleased to see the look of triumph flash in her eyes.

She laughed hollowly, "Fair? You want to talk about fair, Sebastian? Were you fair when you ditched me to go back to June Cleaver after having only known her for days? Were you fair when you left me, after being my only confidante for years, to risk it all on Dorothy? That's not fair, so what makes you think I'm going to let you in so easily?"

"I made a mistake, okay? It's not something I can undo, but I'm making the fucking effort. It wouldn't kill you to acknowledge that."

"Why should I? Should I feel proud because of the fact that you want to undo something you never should have done? Though it may come as a shock to you, I'm not Annette, Valmont. I'm not a saint or a martyr like your blonde bitch. I'm not one to forgive and forget."

"No, you're not." Sebastian glared at her, "I used to find it charming. I can't believe I've forgotten it, but you're the fucking Ice Princess remember? Vicious and vindictive Kathryn Merteuil, using people for either a quick fuck or to fuck them up. Maybe even both at the same time. You know what, maybe that's why I left you. Maybe I got so tired of your hypocrisy, maybe that's what drove me to Annette. Have you ever thought about that?"

"Get out."

"No problem, sweetheart. I'm gone." He snarled, slamming the door.

"DAMMIT!" she yelled out in frustration, grabbing her untouched plate and throwing it against the floor in anger.

She heard someone clear their throat and she turned around to find Mathieu watching her in silence. The petite woman stared right back, inwardly wondering how she got herself into situations like these and at the same time glad that even though Mathieu's involvement complicated things, she was glad he was there. He was her mode of stability, and it didn't hurt that he was such a beautiful enigma, extremely charming, and despite his history of quite a number of lovers, his weakness contained only two equally and extremely dangerous and broken exquisite women whom he would protect more than anything. Even from themselves. Kathryn was drawing dangerously close… to what, they both had a vague idea but none of them wanted to say it out loud. Why, of all the men she'd had to develop a strong attachment to, did he have to be so calm at just witnessing the entire argument? Most men would have been positively livid, but then again, the men she'd dated in the past were utter imbeciles.

"About Sebastian…" she started to talk but he cut her off with that smile of his, the same warm, understanding smile that charmed all those women into bed with him and stillbe friends with them after. He was different from Sebastian that way, while her stepbrother bragged about his conquests and either broke their hearts or humiliated those same females for his own amusement, Mathieu took care of women. He would send flowers to an ex girlfriend's house on her birthday, be present at their weddings and smile politely at meeting his ex's husband. When news spread of their engagement, she'd had to dodge a lot of resentful looks from his former lovers for being able to accomplish what they'd been trying to do for ages.

"I don't care about that." He said softly, the sole of his leather shoes crunching against the expensive china plate she'd destroyed. "Right now, I'm concerned about you and Belinda… When we arrive at Marseilles I'd be more comfortable if you allowed me to hire a bodyguard for your protection. I know you don't like the idea of being followed around, but I'm worried, Kathryn. Julian's a very powerful man, and I'm going to do everything I can to have him caught."

She found her anger for Sebastian dissipating as he caressed her cold face gently, "Why did you have to be so fucking wonderful?" her voice small and questioning.

He chuckled, "A man should be that if he wants to marry you." He paused, hesitating while his golden eyes stared at her. "I know it's difficult for you to go back there as well, but I just want you to know, I'd never let anything happen to you or your sister."

There were a grand total of two men who were capable of making Kathryn show an un-Kathryn-like sort of behavior, and the second one was standing in front of her, distinguished, charismatic, longish brown hair that was a shade darker than hers, and the most powerful gaze she'd ever seen in a man. Even Sebastian. Sebastian's crystal blue eyes spoke of charm, pedigree, and the ability to read people, and while his gaze had pierced deep into her more times than she'd care to admit, he was so different from Mathieu. Mathieu's irises spoke of mystery, and there was something hidden in the depths of his eyes that she didn't know of. A strange, haunting gaze of danger and kindness that had served as protection to Belinda and herself. Saint Mathieu, Belinda once said, bringer of light to lost girls. What a contradiction. Despite his kindness to them, Kathryn knew for a fact that he was indeed no saint. Smiling fondly at him, Kathryn's lips touched his in gratitude. "I did miss you, you know."

Whether it was for the security his presence provided and the clarity he always made her see or if it was because she missed him because she missed the sensation of being with him, he didn't know. He didn't want to find out, but he was glad she'd said it.

---

"You're here. That's a surprise." Annette Hargrove spoke mildly, yet there was sharp sarcasm in her voice that hadn't been there in the past.

"Well, I live here, don't I?" Sebastian shot back, getting over the initial surprise of his girlfriend glaring at him with pure venom. Had he somehow made a wrong turn and gotten inside the wrong house?

"You used to. That was before you spent your days fucking your stepsister."

What the hell? Had she been abducted? This impostor was not doing a very good job of impersonating her. "What the fuck happened to you?" he asked, the pretty blue eyed woman before him looked like Annette but she didn't act like Annette.

Trevor happened to her. Being driven by an immense amount of loneliness to cheat on the man she loved happened to her. Realizing that holding on to a lost cause for so long happened to her. She was tired of being his doormat, of trying to save him with her repeated warnings of Kathryn's ulterior motives. She was sick of being belittled, degraded, and underestimated by everybody else for being nice. Nice may have gotten Sebastian's interest, but it was evil that had held it. So you know what, she did love Sebastian, but she was tired of it all. Trevor had reminded her that she did deserve more, and even though it would pain her to watch Sebastian get betrayed, he would have to learn his lesson. She was through trying to warn him. Let him drown. Maybe it'll knock some sense into him.

Pure, sweet Annette was slowly becoming corrupted with ill meaning thoughts. If Kathryn and Belinda were there, they would have laughed uproariously at her display of defiance. "Why Dorothy," she imagined Kathryn sneering, "I didn't know you had it in you." But she did, didn't she? Maybe that's what drew Sebastian to her, maybe he was fascinated with her idealisms, the ones Kathryn had lost long ago, but at the same time, perhaps Sebastian sensed that there was a bit of Kathryn in her. It was what piqued his interest, her initial resistance reminded him of Kathryn's refusal, and it only made him pursue her more. Was that what he realized when they made love for the first time? When he told her he loved her, was he addressing the Kathryn buried inside of her? That smallest seed of malignance that contrasted her otherwise good meaning soul? Well, that seed was growing now. Kathryn would have been proud.

"What, you didn't think I knew? Of course I did. I'm in love with you, Sebastian, but I'm not stupid. You're sleeping with her. You've been wanting to ever since she left, and from what I read in your journal, even before you met me. It's what started the bet, remember?"

He was definitely in an alternate universe, but it was intriguing to see this whole new side of Annette. "It was never my intention to hurt you." He spoke gently, seeing past Annette's newfound attitude to see how hurt she was.

"Does it matter if you intended it? Even if you didn't, it doesn't make it less painful."

"Annette," he sat down, the most serious look in his blue eyes. "I think we need to talk."

Annette took in the sight of him, dangerously handsome Sebastian Valmont, with all his charisma, his dark blond curly hair, the smoothness of his movements, the cocky swagger, the kindness in him when they'd been happy once…

"You don't even know me! The fact of the matter is, there is someone I love and you don't even compare to her!"

"I can't win with you."

"It's not about winning, Sebastian."

"You're trying to tell me you had a good time with that old lady?"

"Yes, I did. We played three games of backgammon." She gave him a pointed look until he gave in. "Alright, I was bored out of my mind, I hate doing charity."

"It's okay; it doesn't make you a bad person."

"Yes, it does."

No, it doesn't. Kathryn makes you a bad person, but then again, you've always liked that, didn't you, Sebastian?

"You know what your problem is? You take yourself way too seriously."

"I do not."

"Yes, you do. You should try to lighten up."

"I am lightened, can we drop this?"

"Fine."

A smile peeked through his pouty lips as she made a face at him, a real smile breaking through the calm features of the usually levelheaded Sebastian Valmont.

"Are you smiling?"

"No."

"It's okay, you can laugh. I promise not to tell anybody."

Did you smile like that with Kathryn or were you frightened to destroy the charming, composed façade he had when it came to her? Did you smile inwardly when you were together?

She nodded, the memories and realizations running through her mind quieting down as she faced him. Her heart was breaking, but she refused to be the martyr anymore. "We've needed to talk for a long time."

---

"Mmm, where are you going?" Mathieu's sleepy voice murmured when he stirred, realizing she was putting on her robe. "It's two in the morning."

"I can't sleep." She whispered, giving him a small smile. "I won't be long."

When his brown eyes closed, she slipped out of her room and headed into the bar in the living room only to find Edward's study occupied by a single man with eyeglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, engrossed in the thick book.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise, forgetting her purpose to get some champagne.

"What, has the coke finally destroyed your sight? I'm reading, can't you tell?" he replied, deadpanned.

"Shouldn't you be at home with Mrs. Cleaver, hating my guts?"

"Yes. The former you got incorrect, the latter, you're right. I should hate your guts. I do, so would you mind leaving me in peace? I'm trying to read."

"Could you be queerer?"

"If you define being queer as having a penchant for knowledge, then I pity you. I'm not in the mood for your sarcasm, Kathryn. Go back to sleep." He held the book in front of his face, obscuring him from her view. After a few minutes of silence, he assumed she had indeed gone back to her room and was surprised to hear her voice.

"It happened when I was five." She said softly, her brown hair mussed up but her eyes alert and hesitant at her choice to tell him what had happened.

He closed the book and stood up to place it back on the shelf, motioning for her to sit down. "Kathryn, you don't have to—"

"You persuade me to tell you the truth and now that I am, you don't want me to?" his stepsister asked incredulously, "Are you retarded?"

"I just meant you don't have to tell me if you feel uncomfortable!" he snapped in return and then softened at the sight of her tense face relax. "I meant what I said… I don't want to fight anymore."

"It was two weeks after I found Belinda in front of the fireplace, burning her bed sheets. They were stained with blood; at first I thought she just wounded herself or something." A hollow laugh escaped her lips, "What a naïve twit I was. I should have known. He'd gotten to her; the sick fuck was screwing his own daughter."

That explained the reason behind Belinda's obvious state of unrest, and he even felt sorry for Kathryn's sister. Even though she was mostly a bitch, she did have a fucked up past so maybe he understood her a little more. "And she didn't tell Tiffany!"

"The only thing mother cares about was her reputation. Don't stain the family name, which was the first rule in the Merteuil house." She caught her breath as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, his blue eyes boring into hers with concern. "He touched only her… He'd come home drunk and he'd have a go at her. One night, he got too drunk and he mistook the door to my room for hers… and that's it. It only happened once. Two years later they got divorced. How do you like that, Valmont? My first time was with my father. Was that too twisted for you? Maybe you'd like to add that to your faggot journal. Before Kathryn Merteuil became the bitch, she was Papa's bitch."

He groaned, "Fuck." He remembered what he'd said earlier, the snide joke he made which caused her to become so angry. "Kathryn, I'm sorry about what I said earlier… I didn't know."

"What's wrong? Why the hell are you so disturbed about the whole idea of your dad being alive? It's not like he molested you as a child. What? Did he have a go at you? Finger you? Feel you up?"

She flinched at his apology, "Don't do that." She hissed, throwing his arm off her back.

"What?"

"Look at me like that." She pushed him, standing up. "Don't look at me like I'm some poor little rich girl who should be coddled and taken care of. I can take care of myself, in fact, I'm more than capable and we both know it. I don't need your sympathy just because Daddy Dearest fucked me when I was a kid. It's done, it's the past. I fucking hate it when I get looked at with pity."

He wrapped his arms around her and felt her entire body go rigid at his sudden display of affection. Her cheek rested against his chest, the top of her gorgeous petite head fitting exactly under his chin.

Standing, sitting, lying down, they fit together seamlessly.

"Don't." she said, even he could feel her jaw tighten against his body. "Don't touch me just because you feel sorry for me."

"I'm not." He replied, his thumb rubbing against the satin robe.

"Then why?"

"Because." He murmured and she looked up at him, dark green eyes more alert and more questioning.

"Because…?"

"I have a penchant for beautiful twisted bitches. I can't seem to leave them alone." His perfect mouth curved into a smile and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders when she finally smiled back.

"I have to go. I have a flight in a few hours and I need to get some sleep."

"The offer still stands. I still want to go with you."

She gave him a real smile, kissing his cheek. Her lips pressed gently into his skin, the softness marveling him. "I'll see you soon."

"Hey, Kathryn?"

She stopped and turned.

"I know it would be impossible for you not to sleep with him, but try… try not to fuck him too much, okay?"

She grinned naughtily, "Jealous?"

He picked up the book and continued reading it, once again covering his face from her view. Kathryn only chuckled and shut the door quietly, but if she had been able to peek through the door, she would have seen Sebastian put down the book and look at the closed mahogany door with a thoughtful look on his handsome face as he answered her question.

"Yes."

A/N: Alright, although it doesn't show because I still managed to post 2 chapters this week, y'all finally have me to yourselves. Exams are over. I got eaten alive by the last one. Whatever. I don't particularly like math. My skills are purely for words, not numbers. Haha. As for Annette in this chapter, somebody's growing a backbone… Well, in the movie she did possess that inherent bitchiness that caused her to publish his journal. I'd like to explore that dark side. Ooohhh… Hahaha the villains just keep piling up. I'm hard at work on the next chapter. It'll be my favorite one to date.

Nicole: You really have it in for Belinda, don't you? Hahahaha!

Sam: Yes, well we all have our ulterior motives… Namely, an update. Hahaha! I'm glad to see you dragged your sick sorry ass to your computer. Drag some more until you feel better. Delusional does help in writing. Finally somebody likes Belinda! I love making 'villains' (I'll let you decide whether or not Belinda and Mathieu can really be called that) who people can empathize with. Makes them more human and therefore complicated. ;-) Her sentence? I don't know, that's why I left it at that. Lol. Thanks for the endorsement of AIE in your chapter hahaha and from what I've read so far, I don't think you can make a sucky chapter. Aww. Yeah. That's to get you to update again. Hahaha! Get well soon!

Keri: I know, Annette's pathetic isn't she? Just tell me what to say next so you'll keep on being in the mood to write, because more writing more updates for Dangerous Liaisons! As for Daddy Merteuil…… The truth will reveal itself in the upcoming chapter.

Katie: I love that Mathieu had been severely missed. I missed him, too. And I was planning to include him in here anyway, but it's cool you guys wanted him back. I made him extra adorable for you. Doesn't he say the sweetest, smoothest lines? He's so yummy. If I can't have Sebastian, then I might as well have Mathieu instead. And don't be silly, I adore your crazy, long, and rambling reviews. Go crazy with this review. Hahaha