A/N: This story was incredibly difficult for me to write. I had just read House of M #8 and read on the W&J board that Jubilee was one of the de-powered mutants. I had been hoping that someone at Marvel would recognize the uniqueness of the relationship between Logan and Jubilee and bring her back to the team but my hopes were dashed with HoM. I started this story and posted it on the interactive hub at W&J hoping someone would join me so I could share some of my pain. TheNet Lady graciously accepted my challenge and joined me. Between the two of us, we wrote the following story as a tribute to Jubilee and the relationship she had with Wolverine. It is a work of love and admiration for a character who had been ignored, misused and mistreated for many years. Good luck, Jubilee, where ever you are. I hope you find someone who can write you like you deserve.
The authors would like to thank Chris Claremont for creating Jubilee. She's a powerful and interesting character that no one seemed to want to explore.
Disclaimers: The X-Men and Jubilation Lee belong to Marvel comics and are being used without permission. We are not making any money from their use.
Jubilee: The End
Written by Elizabeth Robbins and TheNet Lady
"Okay" Emma Frost said, rubbing the heel of her hands across her tired eyes. "We found Colossus and Boom Boom, Gambit, Archangel, Dazzler, Chamber, M, and Psylocke. The number of de-powered mutants is disheartening and the number dead, apalling. We have been decimated. I'm not sure we can respond to more than one crisis at a time now."
Several exhausted sighs rose from the group gathered in the briefing room. The X-Men had spent the past week looking for lost teammates and friends only to discover that many of them were nowhere to be found. An alarming number had been caught in the backlash of Wanda Maximoff's words 'No more mutants' and had been de-powered or even killed. The school had not been spared either. More than one hundred of the children had suddenly become human.
"Has anyone heard from the Guthries?" Scott asked the room.
"Ah have." Rogue told him.
"And...?"
"Sam's okay but some of the kids ain't." she told him. "We still ain't seen Paige."
"Is there any word from Jubilee, Wolverine?" Scott Summers asked the pacing man.
Logan just shook his head. He did not trust himself enough to speak. It was all he could do not to scream in rage. Jubilee was out there, somewhere, possibly powerless, defenseless and homeless. He continued to prowl restlessly around the room.
The conversation continued around him but he did not pay attention. She was his best friend. Yes, he had been distracted for several months but she could take care of herself. But now, everything had changed, thanks to Wanda Maximoff. He was desperate to find Jubilee and make sure she was okay. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he did not realize that the meeting had broken up and the room had begun to empty.
"Logan?" Scott's voice broke into his frantic musing. "We'll find her."
"How?" he demanded, his voice rough with suppressed emotion. "Emma can't find her with Cerebra. She may not be a mutant anymore. I've looked everywhere I can think of but I can't find her anywhere. I don't know where ta look anymore."
"We'll find her." Scott repeated.
"She may be dead." Logan voiced the thought he was praying was not true. "If she is, I just wanna know where her body is."
Scott laid a hand on the smaller man's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. He was surprised when Logan accepted his gesture.
Logan continued to search between missions. An alarming trend had started. The remaining mutants had become targets again and it became necessary to rescue many of them. What disturbed the team most was what was happening to the de-powered mutants. A large number of normals had decided that because they were once mutants, they too deserved whatever brutality they could dish out. Too many had been killed. All of the much reduced superhero teams were being run ragged trying to control the situation.
At the end of the third week of his search, Logan was going out of his mind with worry. The team and the remaining students gave him a wide berth, afraid of his ever shortening temper. It was after a loud argument in the kitchen with Rogue that a knock sounded on the front door.
"Who the hell is that?" he snarled as he approached the door. "Don't these people know we want ta be left alone?" He yanked the door open.
"What?" he barked.
A small bowed head of black hair appeared before him accompanied by a scent he could not forget.
"Jubilee?" he whispered, astonished.
She raised her head and looked at him, her eyes overflowing with tears. "Hiya, Wolvie." she said with a watery smile.
He gathered her in his arms, hugging tightly. "Where the hell have ya been!"
Jubilee struggled for air, lungs crushed by his hug. She did not try to escape his embrace. Just being in his arms made her feel safe and whole again. The awful emptiness receeded just a bit as long as he held her.
"I, uh, I needed some time. Alone." She said, half-lying. It was true that she had needed time to digest what had happened to her but she had also been stranded and had to find her way home from an unfamiliar city in of all places, Japan. It had taken her a long time just to get back to the States. An when she did find her way back to the country of her birth, she found a very cold welcome.
She found the streets to be cold and unforgiving. She was one of the more popular mutants so she was easy to pick out. She did not want to share the grizzly details but the streets were crowded with humans who found beating a young girl therapeutic.
The difference between a cold fist and a warm hug brought tears to her eyes. He had worried about her. "I'm sorry, I should have called."
"Ya shoulda." He set her down then gently touched her chin. The side of her cheek was bruised, swollen and purple. "Who did this to ya?"
She shrugged one shoulder.
"Jubes," he growled, "who hit ya?"
"I don't know." she said, staring at her feet.
"Were ya caught in one of the rovin' gangs? Did one 'o those punks do this?"
She sniffled and nodded. There was more. He could tell.
"What else?" he growled.
She lifted her shirt and revealed a large, purple and red bruise on her abdomen.
"Oh, God! Jubilee." He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. He could feel her tremble and the scent of tears rose from her body. Her scent told him everything he needed to know. The tang of gunpowder was gone.
"Shush, darlin'. It's okay. I'm here. I'll take care of ya." He looked over her head to see Scott walking through the door.
"Logan?"
Logan shook his head. Scott visibly deflated and Logan could smell the other man's grief. Another mutant lost to Wanda's insanity.
The entire mansion was filled with sorrow now. The days dragged in a foggy haze, each day the same as the last, making it difficult to remember what separated Monday from Tuesday and so on. Jubilee clung to Wolverine as if he was her lifeline, following him wherever he went, afraid that if he left her as her powers had, she would go insane.
Some of the mutants were elated at being human. No longer did they have to live their lives in the shadows. Jubilee was not among them. She had celebrated her mutation. She was proud of what she was and let everyone know it. Every day was a celebration when she was around. Now, nothing separated her from anyone else.
It was almost funny; most people spent the majority of their mutant lives wishing to be normal. Now they were given that wish and they weren't happy. Jubilee even said as much but instead of laughing as she intended to, she ended up crying.
Wolverine had explained it best: the desire to be normal was only for oneself, not others. Losing mutancy of one's own will is entirely different than having it stripped from you, let alone stripped from millions of your brethren. It was genocide pure and simple thus it hurt more than anyone could possibly imagine.
Jubilee did the best she could for the other not-human, not-mutant residents of the mansion. She tried to cheer them up, but she did not do a good job. After all, how could she cheer someone else up when she felt the same they did?
She walked down the hall to her temporary room, remembering absent-mindedly that it was Thursday. She heard a sad little voice echo through the halls, singing a sad tune.
"In scarlet town where I was born..."
It was one of the young English students who was probably going to be sent away, just as Jubilee herself would be sent away once she had established a job.
"There was a fair maid dwellin'..."
Jubilee turned the corner and the voice grew louder. She could hear footsteps. The child was walking aimlessly through the halls herself.
"Made every youth cry-" The girl screamed bloody murder, and Jubilee could hear a door slam and glass shatter.
She ran down the hall to see a six-year old ex-mutant pressing herself against the wall, eyes bulging. "Monica! What's wrong?" she asked and the girl ran away, further down the hall and out of sight.
She had tipped over a vase, explaining the breaking glass. But what made her scream? What was she staring at with such fear? With trepidation, Jubilee approached the door the girl had slammed and opened it.
Scott heard the little girl's scream and ran to investigate. Then he heard Jubilee's scream shortly after, and ran faster. As he turned the corner he nearly tripped over Jubilee.
She was huddling on the floor, the light from the window spilling over her. Her hand was covering her mouth and she was crying.
"Jubilee! What-"
"It's Lily," She choked. "She hung herself."
"Why didn't you catch it?" Scott demanded. "You're a telepath. You should have known what she was thinking!"
"A large number of the de-powered are depressed, Scott." Emma argued, her own eyes reflecting the horror of the situation. "I can't keep track of all of them. I'm not Charles."
Scott fumed silently. How could they have let this happen? Why was it so hard to find a therapist who could deal with depression on such a large scale?
"There will be more suicide attempts." Emma warned. "I can't blame them for being depressed. They've lost their identity along with their powers but we can't help them, Scott. They resent that we kept our powers. I think it would be best for them to go home and follow up with private therapists. The institute can foot the bill for counseling but for their own mental health, they need to get away from here."
"What about Jubilee? Will she try to kill herself?"
"I don't think so. She knows how much it would hurt Logan. She has plans in mind but I can't get in to see them. Even without her powers, she has very strong shields."
Scott plopped into the sofa with a defeated sigh. "God, Emma! I've never felt so powerless. I have no idea what to do now."
"Let's take care of the de-powered first." she suggested. "They need help we can't give them. Bobby and Jubilee can decide for themselves what they want to do."
"They can stay if they want to."
"Of course! I wouldn't throw them out. Bobby will always have a position as our math teacher if he wants and Jubilee can join the teaching staff after she graduates from college."
"Are we still a school?"
"There are a number of children who have no other place to go. We will need to see to their education."
"How many?"
"Ten. Maybe twelve. Plus, there's the ones who didn't lose their powers. They still need an education. We're still a school but the number of students has been greatly reduced."
"Can you deal with the ones that stay behind?"
"I'm not a psychologist, Scott. I don't think they would accept my help anyway. I do have a friend who is a psychiatrist. She wasn't willing to help over one hundred ex-mutants but I think she'll help the few that stay."
"Give her a call and I'll start working on finding homes for the ones that want to leave."
In the end, only five of the de-powered students asked to remain at the mansion. Emma and Scott assured all of them that if they ever wanted to come back, they would be welcomed but they needed to learn how to live as humans first.
Emma's friend, Dr. Cheryl Petry, moved into the mansion and began group and individual therapy with the ex-mutants. It was during one of the individual sessions that Jubilee finally admitted that she felt out of place in the mansion now.
"I don't belong anymore." Jubilee told Dr. Petry.
"Then why are you staying here?"
"I'm afraid to leave." she admitted.
"Because you might get hurt?"
"No. I don't think I could get hurt. Even without my powers, I can still kick butt."
"Then why are you afraid?"
"Wolvie and I have been a duo for a long time. We watched each others backs. We fought beside each other. He knows me better than anyone else. He's my best friend."
"I understand that you and Logan are very close. I've seen how concerned he is for your well being."
"I'm afraid he'll forget me if I leave." she said in a small voice.
"Is he really so shallow?"
"Wolvie? Hell no! Wolvie's one of the most complex men I know."
"Then why would you think he would forget you?"
"Because he has before."
"All of the de-powered students are clinically depressed." Dr. Petry reported to Scott and Emma at the end of her first week. "Due to their ages, it is not recommended to medicate them. One student, Monica Reed, will be admitted for treatment. The trauma of finding her friend hanging in her room has destabilized her mind and I am concerned that she may have a breakdown in the near future. As for the adults, Robert Drake seems to be adjusting fairly well. He has expressed the desire to leave and open his own accounting practice. I can see no reason for him to remain here if he feels uncomfortable. I have advised that he continue in therapy for the next year and have referred him to a classmate of mine in Chicago who will be happy to take over his care. Jubilation Lee is a different matter. She fears leaving but not for the reasons you would think."
"Jubilee isn't an adult." Scott protested. "She's only seventeen."
"She may be legally a minor but physiologically, she's an adult." Dr. Petry countered. "In medicine, she would have been dismissed from a pediatricians care at her seventeenth birthday. As a physician, I consider her an adult."
"This is all beside the point." Emma said. "Why is she afraid to leave?"
"She has an intense connection with Logan. She is afraid that he will forget her if she leaves. Evidently, he has left her in the past and was a long time in returning. That still bothers her. She thinks of him as her only support and does not want to lose him. She is depressed but not to the point that I would prescribe medication. As a matter of fact, I have noticed a lightening of her mood over the past week. I believe she is beginning to accept her change in status and is becoming uncomfortable with staying here."
"Why would she feel uncomfortable here?" Scott demanded. "She grew up here. This is her home."
"She is a human in a house full of mutants, Scott." Emma said, understanding what Dr. Petry was trying to tell them. "We need to give her the confidence to go out on her own, don't we, Cheryl."
"Having the support of both you and Scott would be helpful but she needs Logan to support her as well. If he can't or won't support her, she will never leave."
"So I guess we have to convince Logan to kick her out of the nest." Scott said . "It won't be easy. He's been ultra protective ever since Wanda laid the whammy on us."
For the first time in weeks, Logan was searching for Jubilee. Initially, she had clung to him like she was drowning, afraid to let him out of her sight. She had even taken to sleeping on the sofa in his room. Today, however, he had a meeting with Emma and Scott that could not include her. By the time the meeting was over, he could not find her. He had looked in her usual haunts before remembering where she went when she needed to do some deep thinking.
There was a large, very old oak tree on the estate that drew both of them. When he lost his Adamantium, they had sat under the tree, talking and making plans for his recovery. Well... she talked and made plans. He had already known what he would do. Whenever she needed to think things through, she went to the gnarled old tree and sat at its shaded base. That she had gone to the tree was bittersweet. He knew that she was beginning to think about the future. But her going to the tree meant that she was thinking about what to do. Soon, she would leave and go out into the world without him.
He found her sitting under the tree, her finger pointed at an acorn and a look of intense concentration on her face. He swallowed the lump of emotion that rose unexpectedly in his throat and walked over to her.
"Hey, kid" he said as he sat beside her. "Whatcha doin'?"
She lowered her hand and sighed. "Remembering what it was like." she admitted.
"Yer paffs?"
"Yeah. If I had my paffs, I could have shot that acorn off the branch and fed it to the squirrels." she told him sadly. "Now, I have to climb the tree and knock it off."
He scooted closer to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She sighed and leaned against him, drawing comfort from his presence.
"Everything has changed so much, Wolvie." she told him, her voice thick. "I used to be a superhero. What am I now?"
"Yer what ya always were, darlin': my best friend and my lifeline. Losin' yer powers can't change that."
"It's not exactly a paying gig, Wolvie. I have to find a way to make a living."
"What do ya want ta do?"
"I don't know."
"Yer a smart cookie, Jubes. Ya can be whatever ya want ta be."
"Except an X-Man." she said in a small voice.
He sighed and tightened his hold on her. He had never wanted her to be a superhero in the first place. He felt she deserved more than risking her life for people who hated her.
"All I ever wanted was to come home and be an X-Man, Wolvie."
"I know, darlin'."
They were silent for a long time, both thinking about the differences. Jubilee's sob of pain broke the silence.
"Why did she do this? Why did she have to ruin my life like this? I feel like I've lost my arms."
"She's insane, Jubilee. I ain't justifyin' what she did but I ain't sure she's responsible fer her actions."
She pulled free from his arms, a look of excitement on her face. "I can go to Mr. Fantastic. He has a machine that can send me back. I can stop her, Wolvie. I can keep her from saying it."
"Reed Richards won't help ya, Jubes. Ya heard what Pym said. Richards said the same thing. There's gonna be consequences fer what happened. Do ya wanna risk destroyin' the world just ta get yer powers back?"
Her face fell as he talked. "Really? Are you sure it wouldn't work?"
"I talked ta Richards a coupla days after it happened."
"And he said no?"
"Yeah."
Jubilee leaned back against his bulk, defeated. "What am I going to do now?"
He kissed the top of her head. "Pick up the pieces and go on. That's all ya can do."
After Logan left, she still remained under the tree, arms wrapped around her knees. She watched a squirrel flutter by, expecting to be given food.
"No more acorns." She said grimly.
Its tail twitched and it crept closer, chattering at her.
"I don't have any powers! I told you, No. More. Acorns!"
She tried to scare it off, but it had learned over the few short weeks she had been there that Jubilee wasn't to be feared. If anything, she was to be begged to. To the squirrel, Jubilee food.
It stood on its hind feet, front paws curled under it's chest. It stared at her daftly.
She fell silent and sighed heavily, closing her eyes. She gave up.
Then she stood up, wrapped her arms around the tree and fought to climb it, struggling to reach the first branch.
When she finally pulled herself on the first branch, she reached the acorn she had tried to paff. She snatched it from the tree and jumped down.
She gave it to the squirrel. It grabbed it and ran away and she felt the same sense of satisfaction wash over her like when she had used her powers... only this time it was more intense. Why? Was it because she worked harder to get it?
"Don't expect me to do that very often," she panted, looking back up at the tree. "That was hard work."
Logan woke her early the next morning insisting that she come with him to the Danger Room.
"I ain't lettin' ya grow soft just 'cause ya don't have yer powers." he insisted. "Yer gonna hafta relearn how ta fight. Yer reflexes are gonna tell ya ta paff an attacker. Ya can't do that now. Yer gotta unlearn that reflex."
And he was right. The first thing he did was attack her and the first thing she did was try to paff him. Her shoulder still hurt from the blow but she began to pay attention to what she was doing. The session ended fairly well. Her body remembered the moves she needed to fight without her powers. Her mind, however, lacked the confidence she needed in a fight.
"Don't be afraid, Jubes." Logan told her after the session. "Ya got good moves and good instincts. Yer gonna be fine. Yer not gonna be able ta take a mutant who's usin' their powers but no one's gonna be able ta take ya without powers, 'cept maybe me."
"What about Sabretooth? Will he try to get me now that I don't have my powers?"
"I ain't even sure Creed survived. We ain't been able ta find him."
"So he could still be out the but without his healing factor?"
"Or he could be his normal, jolly self."
"Oh, terrific." Jubilee moaned.
Jubilee had been back at the mansion for about four months before she noticed that Bobby Drake was not happy. She had tried to get him involved in their usual pass time of playing practical jokes on Hank and Scott but he turned her down.
"I have to grow up now, Jubes." he told her. "I can't spend my life playing jokes on the X-Men." He lead her to his room which was full of boxes and containers.
"You're leaving?" she asked.
"Yeah. Hand me that pile of shirts, will ya."
She grabbed the stack of clothes and shoved it into his hands. "Where are you going?"
"Chicago." he told her as he neatly placed the stack in a prepared box. "I have a job lined up with an accounting firm there and Emma said she'd pay for an apartment until I get on my feet."
"But why are you leaving? You've been here, like, forever."
He sighed and sat down on the bed. "I know." he said sadly. "I've been here since I was fifteen. That's why I'm leaving."
"I don't understand. This is your home."
"I was one of the first X-Men." he said softly. "I was here before Jean. So much has changed in all that time but nothing like these last six months." He got up and paced around the room. "I never wanted to be a mutant, Jubes. I wanted to be normal. I learned to love my mutation here. At least I loved it until I got stuck in ice form. I thought I hated it then. After Wanda's little trick, I learned just how much I loved my powers." He sat heavily back on the bed and sighed. "I miss them but they're gone. If I stay here, I'm going to dwell on what I lost and drive myself crazy. I'm never going to be an X-Man again so I need to move on."
"How can you do that? How can you get past the anger and resentment and go on?"
"Is that what you're feeling, Jubes? Do you resent that they kept their powers and you didn't?"
"Yeah." she said, embarrassed. "I can't help it, Bobby. I loved my powers. I was always glad to be what I was."
"Do you resent Logan for keeping his powers?"
"I hate to say it but yeah. Even though I know that without his powers, he'd die from Adamantium poisoning pretty quick, I can't help but envy him."
"He loves you, Jubilee. He wouldn't want you to feel like this."
"I know. I love him, too, but I can't help being jealous of his powers. All my life, I wanted to be just like him; strong and fearless. Now, I can't."
"Jubilee," he said, taking her hands in his, "You're the strongest person I know. In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you back down from a fight, even when you're outnumbered and out gunned. You fight when most people would back off. You are just like him, Jubes. You always were." He pulled her into his arms as she began to cry. "Don't be afraid to go out in the world, Jubes. You're young, smart and beautiful. You can make something of yourself. All you need is the education to do it. Go to college. Do something no other X-Man has ever done. Make the world admire you for what you are."
"Do you really think I can?"
"If anyone can, it's you." He gave her one final hug and released her. "I'm not going to be here for your birthday next week. How about I take you shopping as your gift?"
"I'd like that." she said shyly. "I got here with only the clothes I had on my back."
"Your uniform, you mean." he said wryly. He could still remember the day she showed up at the mansion wearing her tattered uniform and her yellow duster. Emma had replaced some of her wardrobe but she still had very little clothing and could use a shopping trip. "Just don't empty my bank account." he warned her. "I'm not Emma."
Logan made his way through the obstacle course of plastic building blocks that had been left in the kitchen hall by a careless child. It was going on 2:00 AM and he could not fall asleep. He thought maybe some milk would calm his troubled thoughts and let him rest but he did not have high hopes. Scott and Emma had met with him after dinner, demanding his cooperation in getting Jubilee to choose a college and leave the mansion.
His little girl was not ready yet. There were too many dangers out there for her and she was still too traumatized by the loss of her powers to leave yet. Those were the arguments he had used on Scott and Emma. He had to admit, in the deep dark recesses of his mind, that he was not ready for her to go yet. Not that he would ever admit that to them. Nor would he ever admit that he would most likely never be ready for her to leave.
He grabbed the milk out of the refrigerator and poured himself a tall glass. He set the glass on the table and sat down in a chair in front of it.
'She grew up too fast' he thought. She had changed so much over the past six months. She was quieter, more introspective. He could not remember even one practical joke she had played since coming back. He realized that that was mostly due to her depression but she did not have that scent around her now. She was not depressed but she was unhappy.
He wanted to make everything right for her. He would willingly get back on that cross in Australia if she could just be like she was.
A shriek came from the hall. "OW!" It was followed by a thump of a body hitting the floor
He was out of the door with claws out before the voice spoke again. He leapt into the hall, landing amid the pile of plastic blocks, scattering them everywhere.
"Who left the flaming Lego's in the hall?" Jubilee snarled from the floor.
He relaxed and allowed his claws to retract into his forearms. "Jeeze, Jubes! I thought someone attacked ya."
"Whoever left the Lego's in the hall is the one you need to worry about." she complained as she got to her feet. "I'm going to kill them. That hurts!"
"What are ya doing out of bed?"
"I heard you get up and come downstairs. What's the matter, Wolvie? Can't sleep?"
He turned and walked back into the kitchen. She stayed hard on his heels. "Milk, Wolvie? You must really be having trouble sleeping."
"Why do ya say that?" he asked as he returned to his seat.
"The only time I ever see you drink milk is when you can't sleep or right after a nightmare. I didn't hear you moaning so I guess you didn't have a nightmare so it must be a problem getting to sleep."
"Ya know somethin' kid?" Logan said, a look of surprise on his face. "That's pretty scary."
"You mean how well I know your moves?"
"Yeah."
She shrugged her shoulders and went to the refrigerator to get her own glass of milk.
"So why can't you sleep?" she asked.
"Got used to yer snorin'. The silence got ta me." Jubilee had moved back to her own room the previous week.
"I don't snore!" she protested, taking a seat opposite from him.
"Darlin', when ya got ears like mine, everybody snores."
"Ha, ha." she said sourly. "So what's the real reason?"
He took a drink of his milk but did not answer her question.
"I heard a lot of yelling coming from Cyke's office tonight." she said lightly. "Lot of it was you roaring at him. He must have pissed you off pretty good."
He glared at her and growled. He should have known better. She has never been afraid of him and never will be.
"Why do I think it had something to do with me going away to college?"
The growling got deeper.
"I guess he didn't tell you where I want to go. I mean, he's still alive."
"Where?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"Berkley."
"California?"
"Yeah."
"No!" he barked. "Ya ain't goin' ta California and that's final!"
"Wolvie..."
"No, Jubilation, ya ain't goin' ta California. I can't protect ya if yer so far away. Yer stayin' here and goin' ta college here."
She stood, went around the table and sat in his lap. His arms went around her waist automatically. Her arms went around his neck and pulled him close. She heard him take a deep breath, just savoring her scent.
"I have to go, Logan." she said softly. "Everything here reminds me of what I lost. It's so painful that sometimes I think I'm going to die from the pain. I'll be alright, I promise. Bishop's been teaching me how to shoot so I won't be defenseless."
"Bishop? How come ya didn't ask me?"
"He's a better shot than you. If I'm going to learn something, I'd rather learn from the best."
"And Bishop's the best?" he pouted.
"At shooting, yeah." She leaned back and looked into his eyes, seeing the hurt in them. "Everything else I know, I learned from the best too, Wolvie. Bishop may be a better shot but he can't hold a candle to you in anything else and he certainly isn't my best friend."
He pulled her close and hugged her tightly. "Please, Jubes. Don't leave me." he whispered into her ear. "Not yet."
"I wish things were different and I could stay," she told him quietly, "but I can't. I'm going to be eighteen in three days. I can't be an X-Man so I need to find something else to do. Something important. I'll be okay, Wolvie. Have faith in all that you taught me."
He could not tell her no. He never could. He just held her, savoring the feel of her in his arms. If she wanted to leave, he would have to let her go but he was going to spend as much time with her as he could.
He continued to hold her until her head dropped to his shoulder as she fell asleep. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to her room. He toed open her door and placed her gently on the bed.
She snorted in her sleep and turned over to her side. He pulled the covers up over her small form and tucked her gently into bed. He brushed her hair back and placed a soft kiss on her temple.
"Night, Jubes." he whispered and left, returning to his own room to renew his struggle with sleep.
For three weeks after their talk, Logan and Jubilee's role were somewhat reversed. Instead of her clinging to him, he was clinging to her. She gained a great deal of confidence and began to try to go out more on her own. Logan did not care for that much. He insisted that he go along whenever he was available so she began to resort to sneaking out while he was teaching or on missions. He would have never found out except that he came home from a mission early and she was still out.
Logan tracked her to the club she favored. The dancers were a mix of humans and former mutants. She knew almost everyone there and trusted most of them. When he stormed into the club and dragged her out, she had to convince the bartender not to call the police.
She waited until they were a block away from the club before she let her temper fly.
She yanked her arm out of his grasp and turned on him, her eyes angry. "That was humiliating, Logan." she snarled. "Who the hell do you think you are?"
"Watch yer language." he growled.
"Shut up!" she yelled. "I'm eighteen, Wolvie. I'm legal to smoke, swear, vote and have sex with whoever I want."
"Ya better not." he threatened. He could tell from her scent that she had not been having sex tonight. He knew she had not been a virgin since Bastion and just thinking of that awful time made his blood boil. It was his fault she had been introduced to sex so young and so violently. He should have kept a closer eye on her while she was in the custody of the White Queen and Banshee. He felt she should wait a few more years before she found a lover. He also really did not want to have to kill some kid tonight.
"I'll sleep with whoever I wish, when ever I wish. You're not my father, Logan. You don't have a say in my sex life."
"I don't want ya ta get hurt." he yelled.
"Life hurts!" she yelled back. "I'm not going to live my life in a box just because I could get hurt."
"It ain't supposed ta hurt."
"And you're such an authority on a happy life?" she sneered. She immediately regretted her harsh words. "I'm sorry, Wolvie but life hurts sometimes. If it doesn't, you're doing something wrong."
"I don't like it when yer hurt."
"I can't avoid it. I'm not the type to sit back and watch life go by. I'm going to be hurt, Wolvie. The trick is to recover quickly and go on. And I will."
"Is is wrong fer me ta want ta protect ya?"
"It's not wrong but I'd like it better if you would let me experience life. I'm not stupid or fragile, Wolvie. I can take care of myself. You made sure of that."
He could not say anything to that. Her performance in the Danger Room proved that she could take care of herself. The problem was that he had been watching over her for so long, he was having trouble letting go.
"Will ya let me hover a little while longer? Yer gonna be gone soon and I won't have the chance ta do it later."
"If you'll back off when I ask you, sure."
"I'll try." he told her.
Logan began to allow her more freedom to go out with her friends but would not relax until she was back home again and he could be sure she was safe. It was not unusual to find him in the Danger Room, working off his anxiety while Jubilee partied with her friends.
He still went on missions. Each time he came home, he would look for her, giving her a hug and a kiss before heading off to the showers. It was after one mission in the middle of August that his world came crashing down around his feet.
"Where's Jubes?" he asked Rogue when she met the plane. Jubilee's scent was old; as if she wan not home.
She could not meet his eyes. "She's gone."
"What do ya mean, 'gone'?" he demanded.
"She left this mornin'. She's on her way ta California. She said ta tell ya it's better this way."
"How the hell is it better?"
"Would you have let her go?"
He did not answer. He stood there breathing hard, trying to control himself. His teammates gave him a wide berth as the left the hanger. Without another word, he bolted from the hanger and ran to her room.
"Jubes!" he yelled as he burst through the door, looking wildly around. The room was empty. He looked in the closets, the bathroom, even under the bed. Everything was gone. Even Bamf.
"No!" he growled "I'm not ready yet."
Scott Summers could hear the howl of a wounded animal even over the noise of the shower. Goose bumps rose on his flesh at the sound.
"Oh, God!" he whispered. "She's gone." He dropped his chin to his chest and gave way to the tears he had been holding off for months.
Logan made his way to his own room in a fog of pain. He ignored the looks, both curious and commiserating, from those he passed. His room was the same. It just felt somehow colder than it had ever felt before.
His eye was caught by a large box that had been carefully placed in the center of his bed. It had Jubilee's scent all over it. He lifted the lid of the box and pushed aside the tissue.
It was like he had been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. Resting in the ruffles of tissue was a child sized yellow leather duster and gloves. They were old. She had not been able to wear them for several years. Memories washed over him, of her peering out of a concrete bunker, her eyes filled with fear but, somehow, more concerned with the suffering of the beat-up man hanging from two crossed pieces of wood than of her own safety. She should not have helped him. She should have stayed hidden and made herself know to the X-Men. But she did not. She answered his plea for help and in the process, wormed her way into his heart. He bought the coat and gloves for her shortly after he recovered from his injuries.
A piece of paper fell from the coat and dropped to the floor. He bent down and picked it up. "Keep this safe and I'll take care of the hat." she had written. He smiled shakily.
An envelope lay in the bottom of the box. It smelled strongly of her. He opened the envelope and extracted the single sheet of paper. Dried tears blotched the writing but he could still read it.
"Dear Logan,
"I thought I'd spend my life at your side. I always figured you'd need me to watch your back and keep your ass out of trouble. That I'd be there to bring you back when the animal got the best of you and you'd be there for me when my fears overwhelmed me. I wish all that could have happened but I know it can't. You're a mutant and an X-Man and I'm a loud mouthed human teenager. You don't need me with you anymore."
"Bull!" he growled.
"I know you're growling to yourself now, trying to deny the truth but we both know that I would be a liability. The baddies that are going to go after you are ones I have no defense against. I'm human now, Wolvie, and like it or not, I'm vulnerable. I don't want to get anyone hurt trying to protect me. It's time for me to go and make a life for myself."
The paper rustled as his hand trembled. "No!" he whispered. "Not yet!"
"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'Isn't this kinda what I said ta her when I lost my Adamantium?'. No, Wolvie. It's not the same. You knew you would eventually come back. You just needed to relearn how to control the beast in you. I don't need to relearn how to control myself. I don't have any powers to control anymore. I need to learn something completely new. I need to learn how to be Jubilation Lee: human.
"I have to leave, Logan. If I stay, what will I do? Teach? Can you see me as a teacher? I'm nothing here. Out there, maybe I can be something. My entire life has been trying to convince people that I was just like them. Now, I am like them. Maybe I've been given the chance to help mutants in a different way now. Maybe I'm meant to be an advocate for them in the public sector. Maybe I can show everyone that we're all the same underneath.
"I'm going to miss you, more than you'll ever know. I'll never regret the years we had together. You were the best part of my life and I owe you more than I can ever repay. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be the woman I am today.
"Take care of yourself, Logan, and remember this: No matter how bad things get, I will always love you. Thank-you for being there for me. Thank-you for being my friend.
All my love,
Jubilee
The note fluttered to the floor, dropped from a suddenly nerveless hand. His heart was breaking. She was really gone. Even Jean's death had not hurt as much as this did.
"Yer wrong, darlin'." he said, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I do need ya, more than I can ever admit."
He looked out of his window at the twenty-seven children that survived Wanda's purge and sighed sadly. One was flying through the trees. Another was creating small waterspouts in the lake. All were using their powers. Jubilee was right. She had no place here now.
He always knew this day would come. From the moment she agreed to stay with him, he knew he would one day have to let her go to make her own way in the world. He just never realized how much it would hurt. He looked at the lake and the dock that jutted out into the water, remembering the night Ilyana died. That night, he had told her that no one took a bite out of life like she did. Now, she was ready to take the next bite.
"Take care, darlin'." he murmured to his absent friend, his eyes blurred with tears. "I hope ya get the moon. Ya deserve it."
He picked the note up and carefully refolded it. A tear dropped from his chin, landing on the paper where it blended with the ones she had left behind. He stroked a rough finger gently over the paper before tucking it into the top drawer of his dresser.
He would keep an eye on her. With an adult Jubilation Lee lose on the world, anything could happen.
Fin