A Secret Report Within the SSIR
Several factors have entered the equation that pose a real and serious threat to the success of our operations in Springfield.
1. C. Montgomery Burns, Vampyr Lord. In a state of false death these past fourteen years, C.M. Burns, has grown in power and currently commands the loyalty of nearly 40 of the town's UnDead, with additional humans and werewolves in his forces as well. His wealth, which has been difficult to locate and diffuse, has grown through interest and careful investments these past fourteen years and is being spent at an alarming rate.
Burns has signed a contract with our organization. In exchange for our services,
he has promised powerful new technology and exclusive rights to it. The nature of this technology is not yet known.
While the potential for improvement in our conditions is great, the probability of Burns' success is to low for our full support. Furthermore, his direct interference in our affairs is a destabilizing factor and risks the exposure to non-controls of our activities.
2. The Springfield Sicilian Mafia. Though no longer in exclusive control of the
Springfield underworld, the Mob retains great control over the west side and the ports, and remains well-liked due to the whole "Sopranos" thing.
3. Monsignor Patrick O'Flaherty of the Society of Jesus. Former exorcist for the Diocese of Capitol City, as well as the Order of the Knights of St. Michael, a covert organization once used by the Vatican to eliminate vampyr and the UnDead. He was instrumental in the slaying of both Burns and Cordaelia Hoover, and remains at the centre of the plot to destroy Mr. Burns before he can obtain the necessary materials (see Simpsons, Maggie and Eric) to resurrect Dracula. Though weakened by age and a recent abortive attempt on his life, Fr. O'Flaherty remains a general danger to our kind.
4. Robert Underdunk Terwilliger. A former hitman for the Yakuza, Roberts is a tactical expert and skilled swordsman. Of the motley gathering of conspirators against Burns, Terwilliger is the second greatest threat. Is easily stopped by rakes
5. Rev. Michael Malloy. A fellow priest of O'Flaherty, a minimal threat.
6. Marge Simpson. Mother of the two primary 'materials'. While finite, the strength of the emotional bond between mother and offspring makes her a significant threat.
7. Brian Callahan; Lisa Simpson. Listed together for three reasons: their co-involvement in the plot to foil Montgomery Burns, their emotional bond, and their shared strength. An unacounted for factor has appeared: the extra intuitiveness, the ability to perceive events, thoughts, or occurrences beyond the normal scope of animate perception. Though far from any form of dreaded prescience, which we suspect Burns possesses though with great limitations, this new variable presents a great stumbling block for our operations and for Burns' plan. They must be watched.
End Transmission