She looked like a forlorn little muggle girl, her long red hair in pigtails and her body clothed in a little plaid skirt, yellow high-top sneakers, and a fitted gray t-shirt. Head phones from an old walkman rested loosely against her ears, and from her mouth came the lyrics, "This is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s". She was singing them so softly and lazily, but somehow beautifully as well. Lily Potter was beautiful in a distinct way. She was soft, bubbly, transparent, deep, genuine, and depressed. All at once.

She was sitting on the sidewalk outside of Hogsmeade, waiting for the muggle bus to pick her up and take her away for the holidays. Not home. Hogwarts was her home, she had no other. Just, away. She wasn't even sure where, really. She just had to get away for a few weeks. Just, away.

"Mind if I join you?" came a low, distinct voice.

Lily slowly pulled her headphones away from her ears, the indistinct buzz of the music coming from them still. She turned to see James Potter. It was to be expected that he would find her here, of all places.

He sat down next to her on the gravely sidewalk, still clad in his Hogwarts robes, his tie hanging untied from his neck. He looked scruffy, but sincere as he gazed into her deep green eyes.

"How are you, Lily?" He was so near her. Barely a hair away.

Lily tensed. "I'm alright. Yeah... alright."

James's brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

"I couldn't tell you, James," she sighed. "I couldn't tell you. It's too listless and beautiful and just here. I can't say. Sorry."

He shrugged, staring down at his interlaced hands. "It's fine. I can't tell you that I understand. But it's fine, really."

The silence was long and awkward, as silences very often are. But, it was a poetic silence as well. It was as Lily's secret feeling was. A listless beauty, surrounding them. They could both feel it pressing against them. It wasn't romance. It wasn't describable. It was there. Just there.

"It's strange," Lily drawled slowly, her words a stanza of the song that was forming in the midst of the two teenagers.

"Yeah, it is."

"You're not hitting on me. It's strange." Both voices were even, distinct, indiscernible.

"Yeah. I guess that is strange." There was no emotion in either of them. None. But words could convey that feeling hanging in the air.

Their breath fogged in front of them as they sat there beside each other, neither looking at the other.

"Well, it's nice. No. Not that, exactly. It's just... different."

James nodded. "I know."

The bus pulled up, fogging the air with gray smoke. It was a metal rectangle on wheels, not the most welcome sight on Christmas eve.

Lily stood up swiftly, gracefully grabbing her things and heading towards the bus. But before she got far, a hand gripped her arm tightly and pulled her back.

"Where are you going?"

Tears welled up in Lily's eyes. "Anywhere," she breathed. "Everywhere."

James didn't let her go. The two teenagers just stared at each other for a long moment.

"Marry Christmas, Lily Evans," whispered James, as he kissed her harshly on the lips and let go.

Lily stumbled, but her gaze remained fixed on him. The bus's engine vroomed, and without her eyes leaving his, Lily walked into the bus and sat down. She stared out the tinted window at James, who was still standing there, expressionless and motionless.

But, as James sadly noted, her gaze wasn't out of love or even out of surprise or lust. It was a gaze etched with fear and confusion and anger.

The bus rolled away, and James's shoulders sagged.

He walked back into the village, his mouth repeatedly forming the words, "Marry Christmas, Lily Evans. Merry Christman, Lily Evans..."

This chapter was intense, confusing, and poetic. I bet you guys are even more confused as to where this story is going, with all these conflicted things going on with the characters. And I don't know when it will all become clear, but it will eventually.

This chapter wasn't as pointless as it may seem. It's really important. It's a turning point with James and Lily. Yeah, it's super important.

Happy movie watching, I'll update again as soon as I can. My myspace is Myspace dot com / rawr(underscore)thats(underscore)sweet.

xoxo-

Rhiannon