Happy Birthday KP: Chapter 6

I.

Ron scrambled into his mission clothes and decided, after a brief debate, to take his backpack with him. Dr. Mr. Possible had helped him acquire a supply of J500 fuel, less polluting than the J200, for his scooter, so this mission should be quick. Then he intended to comfort his wounded love with a gourmet meal like none she had ever experienced. Nothing was too good for his KP, his love. This mission was going to be the fastest on record.

II.

"Wade, have you got a position on him yet." Ron asked from the shadows of the warehouse wall.

"There seems to be some kind of jamming from inside the building, Ron, but I did see him taking what looked like booby traps in earlier."

"Shoot, I was hoping I could go straight in, but I guess it's the old reliable ventilation ducts."

"Not this time, no grates. Exit vents in the side of the walls are too small to allow egress. There is a window around back that, according to the blueprints, will allow you entrance to a small closet that opens into a back storeroom. From there you should be able to get in and take Lucre down."

"All right, sounds like a plan."

"Oh, and Ron…?"

"Yeah?"

"When you go through the window we may lose contact. If that happens, you'll really be on your own."

"With Frugal, not a problem. Ok, Wade, I'm at the window. How about that, he didn't even lock it. I'm going in, this should be a…." Ron's Kimmunicator let out a low burst of static.

Ron placed the device in his cargo pants' pocket. "Too bad Rufus ate some of Kim's leftovers last night, would have been nice to have his company." He eased the door to the office open and stepped through.

III.

Watching the monitor, Monique spoke into the secure communicator Wade had lent her and Kim, "Blue Fox, Monkey Boy on the premises, time for Phase one."

"Roger, Black Panther, almost ready at this locale. Out."

Monique glanced down at a very nervous Wade Load. "Little brother, you have just earned a cancellation of your trip to the giant back to school sale at Middleton mall. Keep working at it, and you can cancel out your spot at the once a year, six AM Smarty Mart, everything goes, clearance.

"Yes, Ma'am." The very thought of the screaming, pushing, grasping hordes of bargain maddened shoppers at either of those two events caused the young genius' stomach to clench.

Monique studied the screen, "Is the Wade-bot ready?"

"Yes, Ma'am, on line and fully functional."

"Get ready. Blue Fox, Monkey Boy has entered the zoo; say again, Monkey Boy has entered the Zoo."

"Roger, Black Panther, initiate operation 'Kill with Kindness'. Out."

Barely controlling her incipient hysteria, Monique turned to Wade, "Now, little brother, time to earn your solitude."

"Yes, Ma'am." As Wade began typing furiously, Monique collapsed to the floor in hysterics.

IV.

"Black Panther to Blue Fox, come in Blue Fox."

"This is the Blue Fox, go ahead."

"Blue Fox, Phase two complete, Monkey Boy transport via Mechano complete at your location."

"Roger, Black Panther."

"But, Blue Fox, ah…Phase three…ah…Phase three…" Helpless laughter came over the communicator.

"Black Panther, is there a complication on Phase three? Black Panther?"

"Ah…Blue Fox…ah," deep breathes and giggles came over the air, "Blue Fox, there seems to be a wardrobe malfunction…", deep breathe, "A wardrobe malfunction in Phase three." Again the message ended in laughter.

"Black Panther, Blue Fox, can you be more specific?"

"Ah…".giggle, " uh…Blue Fox, be advised the white bikini briefs with red hearts…," snort, "you selected…ha…ah…malfunctioned." The laughter was even more uncontrolled.

Blue Fox hiccupped with sympathetic mirth, "Black Panther, uh, can you be more detailed?"

"No…no personal knowledge, Blue Fox, but the Techno Kid reports there is a reason Monkey Boy wears boxers, over."

"Ahhh…TMI, Black Panther, way, way TMI."

"Blue Fox, you realize this may have caused permanent damage to the Techno Kid?"

"We'll find a way to help him recover," Blue Fox giggled, "initiating Phase four. Blue Fox out."

V.

Ron Stoppable was a man with a mission, a mission to figure out what in the heck was going on. He clearly remembered easing the door from the closet to the storeroom open. No threats in the empty room. He had carefully cracked the door to the warehouse and slunk through the narrow gap. He had found an empty building. The lofty building contained no Frugal Lucre, no death ray, no computers, no trap, no nothing, just empty echoes. Wait; the last memory he had, the aroma of sweet, ripe, strawberries, must have been a trap. Otherwise, how did he get here, wherever here was, hanging in fur lined manacles? Hanging in fur lined manacles, wearing only his Fearless Ferret boxers. "Ah man, I didn't even use the grapple gun, and I still wind up with no pants." His wandering thoughts whined.

'Ok, what would KP do?' he pondered. 'Asses the situation, decide what gadgets she had available, and wait for an opportunity. Situation, I'm shackled alone in a candle lit room, gadgets-I'm in my boxers! So I guess I wait for an opportunity. Let's see, what else, too dark to see how big the room is, but there are feathers everywhere. Feathers, why is it always…feathers? What could anyone want with so many different kinds of…feathers?'

And there was that odor of strawberries again, getting stronger, but he wasn't getting drowsy.

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AN: Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa, I couldn't help it, the devil made me it do it.