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Sitting on Henry…..
Latisha: -plays trumpet-
Arianna: This is going to be a longer chapter! I'm trying to get the auditions done. I'm going to have 12 people going to the Dread Island. Those 12 people will be grouped into 4 groups of 3 to perform. They may choose whatever song they like, but they all must sing lead at some point. Then the 12 people will be divided into 6, and those 6 people will be voted on by you faithful viewers to determine the last 2 contestants. I'm making this shorter then the real show because I don't want to be sitting in a nursing home at age 80 still typing this.
Latisha: More like you're being lazy.
Arianna: -sweatdrop- No! I just have lots of story ideas I want to work on!
Latisha: Sure….
Arianna: SHUT UP! -ahem- Thank you so much for the reviews! I am deeply touched. I think I'm getting teary-eyed. -sniff sniff-
Latisha: Cry baby.
Arianna: Anyways, enough with my yapping, on with the show!
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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fire Emblem, American Idol, or any of these songs. I do however own the idea of putting Fire Emblem characters in American Idol. And I also own the character Latisha and Henry the Purple Inflatable Couch.
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When we last left off, Kent was about to enter the audition room.
Kent walks in carrying a boom box.
"Hi, Kent!" Arianna says, waving.
"Kent?" a surprised Eliwood echoes.
"I am going to be singing the song She Bangs by Ricki Martin." Kent says.
"Oh no. I saw a guy sing this on Arianna's magic box on the real Idol show. This is not going to be pretty." Eliwood tells Erk. Kent turns on music and starts dancing like Ricki Martin.
"Talk to me, tell me your name. You blow me off like it's all the same. You lit a fuse now I'm ticking away, like a bomb…yeah baby. Talk to me, tell me your sign. You're switching sides like a Gemini. You're playing games and now you're hittin' my heart, like a drum….yeah baby." Kent grabs Arianna and starts dancing with her. "Well if Lady Luck, gets on my side we're gonna rock this town alive. I'll let her rough me up 'till she knocks me out 'cause she walks like she talks and she talks like she walks and SHE BANGS! SHE BANGS!" He spins Arianna. "Oh baby when she moves! She moves!" Arianna falls back into her seat, dizzy. She looks very swirly-eyed. "I go crazy 'cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee. Like every girl in history."
"Arianna, are you okay?" Erk asks, not really concerned about her but worried she might throw up. And throw up is ucky.
"SHE BANGS! SHE BANGS! I'm wasted by the way she moves! She moves! No one's every looked so fine. She reminds me that a woman's got one thing on her mind." Kent does a finishing pose and turns the boom box off.
"Wow, Kent. Does Lyn know you can dance like that?" Eliwood asks. Kent opts to not reply. "I say yes. Arianna?" But Arianna is still very swirly-eyed and dizzy. Erk gets a bucket of water and throws it on her.
"Eeeek! Cold!" she shrieks, "Huh? What's going on?"
"Yes or no, Ari." Erk says.
"Definitely yes!"
"I was rather scared by the dancing…." Erk tells Kent, "…but I say yes. See you on the Dread Island." Kent looks very unexcited.
"Okay."
Back In Waiting Room…….
"Here he comes!" Lyn cries, but then she notices his expression. "Oh no. He doesn't look happy."
"Does he ever?" Sain asks.
"I'm so sorry, Kent." Lyn says comfortingly. Kent looks at her blankly.
"Why? I made it."
"Oh. Good job." Lyn says, now smiling.
"…….." is Kent's reply.
Back to Limstella…….
So Kent made it. And he's obviously very excited.
" …….whatever." Kent says, looking bored.
"Right." Limstella agrees with a sigh. "Let's find someone more excited. You!" she calls out to a passing girl, "Blonde girl! Come here for a second!"
"Um…hi?" the girl says in a very fake sounding voice.
"Hello. Are you excited?" Limstella asks. The girl nods her head and her hair slides a bit to reveal some blue-green.
"Yes, very." she answers, but Limstella is looking at her hair suspiciously. Sain runs by with Raven chasing him.
"I didn't touch your sister, I swear!" Sain screams at the angry mercenary.
"BUT YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT IT!" Raven yells back.
"Psycho!" Sain mutters and keeps running. As Raven runs by he bumps the "Blonde" girl and knocks her hair off to reveal……….FIORA!
"Eeeek!" Fiora screams and runs off.
"Fiora! You were disqualified!" Limstella yells after her. "Hawkeye, get her!"
THUMP THUMP THUMP goes Hawkeye and the room starts shaking.
"AHHHH! EARTHQUAKE!" Wil screams from the side of the room.
" Eeeeek!" Rebecca screeches. (A/N That's the 3rd "eeeek" this chapter) The room turns to craziness as everyone panics. People dive under chairs and tables. Some run out of the building screaming and cause the line to stampede. Limstella looks at the chaos outside and sweatdrops.
"Commercial break."
-- COMMERCIAL--
The scene is a field. Erk is standing with Nils behind him…..
"Tired of loud, annoying, little boys who play flutes?" Erk asks.
"TWEET TWEET TWEET!" goes Nils on his flute.
"Well, now you can stop them with this new baseball bat!" Erk holds up a shiny bat.
"TWEE-wait, what?" Nils says, no longer playing his flute.
"Hehehe…" Erk chuckles and starts chasing Nils with the bat.
"This wasn't in my contract!" Nils exclaims. Nino comes on screen to finish the commercial.
"Buy now for just 7.99$! 40 gold!" Nino says with her trademark smile. "Can also be used to play baseball. Call 1-800-NONEXISTANT#. No Nils were harmed in the making of this commercial, I think." Nils is still running in the background.
"HELP! LORD ELIWOOD!"
-- END COMMERCIAL --
The camera pans the wrecked waiting room….
We're back. Or what's left of us. Things have calmed down a bit, but we're having trouble finding the janitor. And Hawkeye is still looking for Fiora.
THUMP THUMP THUMP
"EARTH-" Wil starts to yell but Rebecca clamps a hand over his mouth.
"Don't say it!" she warns.
Hurry up and go to the audition room!
Camera goes back to the audition room where judges look confused….
"Is no one else coming?" Eliwood asks.
"I think they got attacked." Arianna answers. "Did you hear that screaming?"
"I think Serra came back to sing for them." Erk jokes, but then Nils walks in.
"Hi!" he greets the three judges.
"Aren't you too young for this?" Arianna asks him.
"I don't know. I was just standing by the door and someone shoved me in here." Nils explains. Erk puts in some earplugs.
"Okay. Go ahead, Nils."
"Row, row , row your boat, gently down the stream." Nils sings, stopping momentarily to play his flute. "Throw Erk overboard and listen to him scream." Eliwood laughs loudly and Erk looks at him, confused.
"What? What's he singing?" Erk asks, but he's ignored.
"Nine weeks later, floating down to Caelin. Stabbed by Raven. Nine months later, ummm…gets stabbed again! And that's how Erk-"
"That's enough! Nils, you're too young to do this show. And you forgot the words." Arianna tells him and Nils' bottom lip trembles.
"Eeeeliwooood!" he whines.
"Uh, I thought it was entertaining." Eliwood says. Erk takes his earplugs out.
"Well?"
"No." Arianna votes.
"Yes." says Eliwood.
"NO! Ha ha!" Erk exclaims, laughing sadistically.
"Waaaah! Eliwood!" Nils cries.
"Sorry, Nils." Eliwoodsays tohim, shruggingapologetically.
"Waaah! Ninian!" Nils runs out crying.
"Seriously, what did he sing?" Erk asks again. The other two still ignore him.
"NEXT!" Arianna yells and Nino walks in.
"Hello, Nino. What are you going to sing?"
"I'm singing Angel of Mine by Monica. I'm dedicating this song to Jaffar." she says cheerfully.
"Go ahead." Eliwood says with a warm smile.
"When I first saw you, I already knew. There was something, inside of you. Something I thought that I would never find. Angel of mine."
"Awwwww…." Arianna cooes.
"Why do girls always go "aw"?" Erk says.
"Awww……." Eliwood cooes.
"Nevermind." Erk mutters, a sweat drop running down the side of his face.
"I looked at you, looking at me. Now I know why they say the best things are free. Gonna love you boy you are so fine. Angel of mine. What you mean to me you'll never know. I'm different now, you helped me grow. You came into my life, sent from above. When I lost all hope, you showed me love. I'm checking for ya boy you're right on time. Angel of mine."
"Okay, thank you." Erk cuts her off. "Eliwood?"
"Awwwww…" Eliwood cooes.
"Stop saying that! It's disturbing." Erk yells.
"I say yes. Ari?" Eliwood turns to the tactician.
"Yes. Very cute." Arianna agrees.
"Yes." Erk says shortly.
"Yay!" Nino cheers and hops up and down.
"See you on the Dread Island." Arianna smiles and waves as Nino skips out of the room.
Back in the waiting room…..
We are waiting to see Nino.
" …" Jaffar comments. Nino soon comes skipping out of the room.
"I made it!" she exclaims, twirling around.
"…"
That's great! Isn't it, Jaffar?
"…"
Sigh, I don't know why I bother.
Back to auditions….
Bartre walks in and Eliwood looks properly horrified (for once).
"Oh boy." Eliwood says.
"Hello, Bartre. Why do you want to be the "Fire Emblem Idol"?" Arianna asks politely.
"I am Bartre, the best singer in the land! I shall be famous!" he announces and beats his chest. The judges stare.
"Riiight. What are you singing?"
"I'm singing Too Sexy by Right Said Fred."
WARNING: SENSITIVE VIEWERS, TURN OFF YOUR TV NOW AND GO LOOK AT PICTURES OF PUPPIES AND KITTIES.
Erk puts his earplugs back in and holds papers over his eyes. "Okay, go ahead!" he says. Bartre starts shaking his hips.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts. And I'm too sexy for Caelin, too sexy for Caelin, Karla, and Japan." He takes off his shirt.
"AHHH! MY EYES!" Arianna screams and passes out from fright.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Eliwood yells. Erk nudges Arianna with his foot.
"Wuh?" she mumbles and sits up long enough to see Bartre again and pass out (again).
"PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!" Eliwood orders the apish man. "Ari? Wake up!" She sits up, rubbing her head.
"Ugh….the horror...the nightmares that will now forever plague me…." she groans.
"How'd I do?" Bartre asks.
"Lets make this quick. NO. Goodbye." Eliwood says, actually using a rude attitude (SHOCK). Bartre stomps out of the room yelling about being too sexy for this show.
IT IS NOW SAFE TO RETURN TO YOUR TV
Erk takes his earplugs out. "Is it over?" he asks the other two. Lowen comes flying in and runs straight into a wall. Erk sticks his earplugs back in. "That's a no." he says, answering his own question. Lowen stumbles around and eventually manages to find the correct spot.
"Hehe. Sorry about that." he apologizes and grins.
"Hi, Lowen. What are you singing?" Eliwood says in a friendly voice. Lowen, however, is standing with his back to the judges.
"Addicted to Spuds by Weird Al." he answers.
"Okay. And, um, we're this way, Lowen." Eliwood informs him.
"Whoops. Didn't see you there." he says as he turns around.
"No kidding. I'm surprised you're actually allowed to fight with hair like that." Arianna comments. "Okay, sing now." Lowen clears his throat.
"Me me me me me. Doe ray me fa so la tea doe. Okay, here I go."
"Zzzz…" goes the half-asleep Erk.
"Potato skins, potato cakes. Hash browns, and instant flakes. Baked or boiled, or French fried. There's no kind, you haven't tried. You planned a trip, to Idaho, just to watch, potatoes grow. I understand, how you must feel, I can't deny, they've got a peel. Whoooa you like 'em whether they are plain or they're stuffed, oh yeah. Better face the facts it seems you can't get enough, you know you're gonna have to face it you're addicted to spuds."
"That's enough!" Arianna cries out, laughing. She falls off her chair. "Thank you." she manages to say before once again collapsing into snorting laughter.
"I take it we're going to be eating potatoes for dinner tonight?" Eliwood grumbles. Lowen smiles.
"Yup."
"Strange song, but you can sing. I say yes. Ari? Are you composed now?" Eliwood asks and Arianna sits up.
"You're a fine one to talk about composure." she says snidely to him before turning to Lowen. "Very funny song. I say yes. Erky?"
"What? I can't hear you." Erk says. Arianna knocks him on the head so his earplugs fall out.
"Ow." he grumbles, rubbing his head.
"Two yeses so you're going to the Dread Island." Arianna tells Lowen.
"All right!" Lowen yells. He tries to run out thedoor, but he doesn't see it's closed….
SPLAT!
"Ouchie…" he mumbles before passing out.
"MEDIC!" Erk shouts.
"You called, Erky?" Serra asks, walking into the room.
"AHHH! What are you doing here?" Erk demands.
"Priscilla wants to try out, which makes me the only available healer since you all so rudely rejected me." Serra sniffs, trying to get some pity. Eliwood completely misses it.
"That's nice. Fix Lowen up." he commands. Serra grudgingly drags Lowen off, grumbling the whole way and banging Lowen into everything nearby. Arianna winces in sympathy pain.
"He won't be waking up anytime soon." she says. As the judges are looking at the door, Hector walks in.
"Hector?" Eliwood says incredulously. "You know you failed choir class."
"Shut up! I have a dream!"
"Where'd my earplugs go?" Erk complains, already searching on the ground for them.
Camera goes back to Limstella……
That's concludes another episode of "Fire Emblem Idol". Will Lowen ever cut his hair? Will Serra ever heal him? Will Hawkeye catch Fiora? Will Erk find his earplugs? And will these auditions ever end? Stay tuned for a preview of the next episode.
-- PREVIEW --
Hector pushes the PG13 rating.
"SHE &$#&$ HATES ME!"
And Karel and his obsession with killing.
"Hey, we're gonna get you too, another one bites the dust!"
- - END - -
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- sitting on Henry -
Arianna: Hello! I'm here with Jaffar, Latisha, Eliwood, and Heath, who is making his debut in this fic!
Heath: Wassup?
Arianna: I said I would update this story on Friday, but I guess it's officially Saturday since it's 12:30 a.m. and I am EXHAUSTED! I blame all unfunniness on how scary my sense of humor gets when I'm tired. Anyways, Jaffar, how did you feel about Nino dedicating that song to you?
Jaffar: …
Latisha: Wow, that's deep.
Heath: -snickers-
Eliwood: Snickers, where?
Latisha: The laugh, not the candy bar. Heath was snickering.
Eliwood: Heath Bar, where? -looks at Heath- Caaandy...
Heath: Uh oh.
Arianna: I'm too tired for this. rxtr57dreuhf
Heath: What was that last part?
Latisha: She fell asleep on the keyboard.
Arianna: -SNORE-
Jaffar: -brings out whip cream can with evil smirk-
Latisha: -sigh- Please-
Heath: Oooh, can I say it?
Latisha: Sure, whatever.
Heath: PLEASE review!
Eliwood: -getting feathers to stick to Arianna's face with cream- Goodnight!
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