Disclaimer: see Chapter 1

Chakotay stared at her, his dark eyes filled with shock and sorrow. "Kathryn…"

"How long did you wait, Chakotay?" Kathryn asked in a harsh voice, as she clenched the watch tightly in her hand.

"Kathryn, please stop, "Chakotay beseeched.

Kathryn turned away from him and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. As if, that one move could hold her broken spirit together. Her next words were silently whispered, but still audible within the quiet room.

"It hadn't been very long since our return from New Earth, mere months, really." Kathryn said, "I knew when you'd returned from that mission that something had changed. Tell me something, Chakotay. Were you that angry at my decision that you went after the first blonde that crossed your path?"

Chakotay stood in front of her silently, not denying the words she had said.

"Riley, "Kathryn said, "But of course at that time you were under her control and anything you did was against your wishes. As your Captain, I was worried about what had been done to you. They made you betray this ship and her crew."

Kathryn turned to look at him with icy blue eyes, "But Riley didn't force you to sleep with her."

Chakotay felt his temper flare up, "With all due respect, Kathryn, that was none of your business. I would have been with you in an instant, if you had just stopped hiding behind your protocols."

"Did you think that by sleeping with another woman, it would make me want to let go of my protocols?" Kathryn asked in disbelief. "No, I forced myself to cling even tighter to them and denied myself everything."

"What about Michael or Kashyk, Kathryn?" Chakotay threw back angrily. " Where were your protocols then?"

" Michael was a hologram program. There was nothing between us, except that with him I could ignore my responsibilities and be myself. He was a good friend that I could talk to about-" Kathryn stopped abruptly.

" About what, Kathryn?" Chakotay asked furiously. " What could you talk with Michael about that you couldn't talk to me about? We've been best friends for all long time and I thought we could talk about anything."

Kathryn shook her head and refused to answer. She pressed her lips tightly together as if trying to hold something back.

" Fine, don't say anything," Chakotay said in a hollow voice. "I guess the only way a person can get close to you is if you have the power to delete their memories. Anything that's said that makes you feel like a woman instead of a Starfleet Captain can always be erased."

Kathryn looked startled at his verbal attack.

" And all that time that you spent alone with Kashyk was safe too, because you knew that he would never stay. There was no risk of you falling in love. Just physical attraction, "Chakotay continued bitterly.

Kathryn stood before him, her breathing ragged and her eyes hardened until she was glaring at him.

" Kashyk, was only a ruse and you damn well knew that from the start. You knew that I would try to gain his trust by making him think that I fell in love with him." Kathryn flung out heatedly.

" Was that why you kissed him?" Chakotay asked mockingly. " Was it part of the act? How far were you willing to take it? Would you have slept with him or would that have been just an added benefit?"

With those words, the tightly held control that Kathryn Janeway had been holding onto by a thread, snapped. The watch fell to the floor unnoticed in her fury, as she strode angrily to him and slapped him as hard as she could.

The sound of the slap echoed throughout the room and an imprint of her palm burned brightly on Chakotay's cheek. She stood before him, remorse instantly showing on her pale face. She had never hit anyone before, unless ithad beenin self-defense, and her angry action sobered her up quicker than one of the Doctor's detox sprays.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn, I shouldn't have said that. We all knew what you were doing." Chakotay murmured. "It just hurt me to see you with him and I lashed out right now without thinking."

"I understand that kind of the pain, Chakotay, "Kathryn replied. " Stardate 51813.4. Do you remember that date, Chakotay? The crew will never remember it but I do. Do you know why?"

Chakotay closed his eyes to hide from the pain reflected on Kathryn's face.

"I found your hand written log entry. You never told me what happened and I've kept silent about it all these years." Kathryn ­stated. " I know all about Kellin and how you fell in love with her, not just once but twice."

She started to shake slightly and her eyes filled with tears that she refused to let fall, "It might not seem like much to you, Chakotay, but to me it was further proof that you didn't care for me. New Earth had been an illusion that had been created because there was no one else around for you to be with."

Chakotay grabbed her arms and shook her slightly, "Kathryn, that's not true! I meant everything that I said to you on New Earth!"

"But we weren't on New Earth, we were on Voyager." Kathryn replied shakily. "On Voyager things had to be different until I got this crew home. I had always hoped that when we got home that we would be able to fulfill those promises made so long ago. But…"

Her voice trailed away and she lifted a trembling hand and placed it over Chakotay's heart.

Chakotay felt the heat of her hand burn through the many layers of his Starfleet uniform. He placed his hand over hers and grasped it tightly. With his free arm, he pulled her closer into his chest. After all these years, he was finally holding her close, as he had always wanted to.

She rested her head against his chest briefly, then slowly slid her hand from under his and gently pushed away. She took a step back and looked deeply into his eyes.

"But…You've let someone else into your heart and you've made promises to her. I can't, regardless of my feelings, ruin that for the both of you," Kathryn stated, "especially, since I think of Seven as a daughter. I won't do anything to hurt her."

Kathryn turned away from him and started towards the sofa when she felt Chakotay pull her back into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed her closely to his chest. She looked up startled and felt herself becoming lost in his eyes. He tenderly gazed at her and slowly lowered his lips to hers.

The tender kiss was more powerful than anything they had ever experienced and it quickly ignited into a blaze of desire. They remained locked within each other's embrace until Chakotay reluctantly lifted his head and waited for Kathryn to look up at him. Both were breathing heavily as they stared at each other with passion-filled eyes.

Chakotay took a moment to calm himself before he started to speak, "Seven knows where I am and she knows why I'm here. I came here to claim the most stubborn, beautiful woman in the universe, a woman who still cares deeply for me regardless, of how much I've hurt her over the years." Chakotay said. "I just wasn't expecting all my past mistakes to come up during the conversation."

Her eyes sparkled with joy and a smile spread across Kathryn's face, "Well, you know that I would never waste a tactical opportunity, Commander. Just make sure that I don't need to ever do that again," Kathryn implored.

As he nodded, he noticed the watch lying on the floor beside them and he carefully reached down to pick it up. As he stood up, Chakotay held the timepiece towards her.

"This is our time here and now, Kathryn." Chakotay promised as he pulled her close again. "Nothing will come between us again, Kathryn."

"I've always loved you, Chakotay. All these years, I was just too stubborn and afraid to admit it." Kathryn whispered, as she placed her hand in his.

" I love you, and I will always be there to make your burdens lighter. " Chakotay vowed, repeating the promise given so many years ago.

" Now, where were we?" Kathryn asked, with a cheeky smile.

"Right here," Chakotay replied, laughing aloud as he reclaimed her lips.

The End

Thank you for everyone that took the time to read and review this story! This is my first fanfic and the reviews were much appericated. I'm still learning so please be kind!

Special thank you to my beta, Nadia, who I'm slowly making into a J/Cer!

All the best,

Helena