Only You Ch 8

By Athena

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Star Trek: Enterprise is the property of Paramount

Summary: As Pon Farr approaches for T'Pol she has to make some choices regarding her relationship with Trip. Of course nothing goes as expected and Trip and T'Pol must decide how to proceed with their relationship.
Spoilers: all the way through the end of Daedalus and AU after that.

Authors Note: Just a tad more angst in this chapter. But sap and noodle salad is waiting in the next one.

Chapter 8

T'Pol had been onboard the Kovar for over two days. Phlox and Dr. Varen were discussing a potential problem with the placenta that would be providing her child with nourishment. Apparently they expected that a corrective procedure would be necessary but they were both unsure when this procedure should take place. It was unsettling to hear them rationally discussing timing the procedure to maximize the odds of survival of her child. She was glad that Trip was not with her now. Although she would relish the comfort of his support, she knew he would not bare the stress of the situation well.

Dr. T'Nar was currently on the surface of the planet below and had promised to provide her with details on the latest findings regarding the civilization that had once existed there. T'Pol had already obtained a great deal of the information that had been gathered by both crews over the last two days. However, she found herself unable to focus on anything other than her pregnancy and her relationship with Trip.

Being bonded and having a child together was both frightening and exhilarating. She knew that her plan to follow the path of Surak must now be adjusted to include the existence of a human mate and a child. She was amazed to discover that she was more than willing to make such an accommodation. Clearly she had never fully embraced the idea of putting their relationship on hold. Her main concern was how Trip would adjust to extremely life-altering events that had occurred without his knowledge or consent. She was certain that he would embrace the news of their forthcoming child with joy. Trip had been extremely pleased with Lorian. She was mainly concerned how Trip would react to learning that they had been bonded before she had she married Koss and then rejected him anew when her marriage had ended. Would he be able to trust her again? She could still sense that Trip was distressed. She had unwittingly caused him a great deal of pain. Would he be able to overcome it and forgive her?

T'Pol's thoughts were interrupted by Dr. Phlox. "We believe the situation is stable enough for you to leave Sickbay and return to Enterprise. You may resume a light duty schedule, so long as you listen to your body and do not push yourself."

T'Pol nodded. "When will you perform the corrective procedure on the placenta?"

Phlox frowned slightly. "When it becomes necessary." He regarded her a moment longer then asked, "When do you plan to inform Commander Tucker of the pregnancy?"

She let her gaze fall. "Perhaps… after the procedure is successful." She would not allow herself to voice the possibility of a negative outcome.

"Very well. I suggest you return to you quarters and rest. You may contact the Captain in the morning about returning to light duty."

T'Pol felt a tinge of fear at the thought of leaving the safety of the Sickbay monitors. What if something happened to the baby and she didn't know? She realized that such thoughts were irrational, as there was very little Phlox could do at this stage if something went wrong. Still, she savored the assurance that the monitors provided to her that all was well.

"Thank you Doctor," she said finally and began to collect the few items she had brought with her.

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Archer was reviewing various reports on the planet below. He was pleased that the Enterprise crew was working so well with the crew from the Kovar. It was a testament to the fact that humans and Vulcans were ready for joint missions. Sadly, Archer thought that Admiral Forrest would have been proud of the way the two crews had melded together to complete their mission objectives.

Archer turned his attention back to Trip's formal request for a transfer off Enterprise. He wasn't sure what to do about the request. He had initially thought things would get better after Trip and T'Pol had a chance to talk. But then Phlox had absconded with T'Pol to the Vulcan ship and all he'd heard for almost three days was that the doctors were watching her and waiting for her condition to stabilize. Frankly he wasn't sure what was going on but it was clear that Trip thought that T'Pol was on the Kovar having sex with that ship's Chief Engineer.

Trip wasn't taking the entire situation very well, not that Archer could really blame him. But it was clearly affecting his ability to do his job. Just like he said it would, Archer thought sadly. Trip had been calling him every few hours to ask about T'Pol, despite the fact that he had assured Trip he would contact him the moment he heard anything new. Archer had been forced to have a chat with Trip about the situation after both Hess and Rostov had made inquires about T'Pol's condition. When Archer had entered Engineering he could feel the tension in the room. He'd found Trip taking his frustration out on a burned out power junction.

"I'm no engineer but I'm pretty sure hitting that thing repeatedly isn't going to get it working again."

"Hey Cap'n, sorry. I'm just…" he looked up at Archer. "Well, ya know."

Archer nodded and gave Trip's shoulder a pat. "Let's take a little walk."

Trip frowned but put his tools aside and stood up to follow Archer out of Engineering.

"So ya hear anything?" Trip asked as soon as they entered the turbolift.

"Not from Phlox or the Kovar but when your team started calling the Bridge asking about T'Pol I figured maybe it was time for you to take a break from work for a bit." He tried to sound as companionate and understanding as he could, knowing Trip would hate that he let his personal problems interfere with his work.

"Yeah, well, I just can't stop thinking about what's goin on over there on the Kovar. I mean I know it's not any of my business anyway, it's just…Damn, I don't even know what it is really."

"Trip, we don't have any idea what's going on over there. You're making yourself crazy by jumping to conclusions." He recalled T'Pol's insistence that no one but Trip would touch her and shook his head. He just couldn't believe that that was what T'Pol was up to on the Vulcan ship.

"I know I'm actin' like a jealous boyfriend and I've got no right to be." He turned on Archer as he was about to exit the turbolift. "That's why I've got ta get off this ship. She needs her space and I need to get her outta my head."

Archer moved passed him and continued down the corridor. Once Trip caught up to him he said, "Trip, just wait until T'Pol gets back and talk to her. There's a chance you don't have all the facts." He stopped and looked Trip in the eye. "If you do that and you still want to leave, I'll see what I can do about the transfer. But, for now, take a break and get some rest."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks Cap'n."

Archer was shaking his head when the door chimed.

"Enter."

Phlox entered the room. "T'Pol is back on board and resting in her quarters. I've given her permission to return to light duty tomorrow but I'll need to keep a close eye on her. Please don't hesitate to contact me if she appears to be exerting herself."

Archer pressed his lips into a tight frown. "Phlox is the mating thing over? Why does she still need observation?"

Phlox started to swing his arms back and forth in a manner that Archer had learned to read as Phlox attempting to obfuscate the situation while still telling the truth. "I told you there were complications due to T'Pol mating with Commander Tucker as opposed to taking a Vulcan mate."

"Captain Soran didn't seem to think that would be a problem and neither did you at one point." Archer's voice held a skeptical tone.

Phlox was clearly uncomfortable about the direct questioning but Archer shot him a look to convey he wanted answers.

"It wasn't possible to predict the…complications. I'm sorry Captain but I can't tell you more at this time."

Archer wanted to ask if T'Pol had been over there mating with the Kovar's Chief Engineer but he knew T'Pol's medical treatment was confidential, and rightly so. He just wished he could learn something to put Trip's mind at ease.

"Okay Phlox, you win for now. Do you know when I can expect T'Pol to be able to return to normal duty?"

"It might be a while before I can say for certain, Captain."

When it became apparent Phlox wasn't going to provide anything else, Archer dismissed him. At least T'Pol was back on board. That meant that she and Trip would finally have a chance to talk. Maybe Trip would be able to find out what was going on. Archer rubbed the temples of his forehead. How was he supposed to run a ship with a sick first officer and a lovesick second officer?

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T'Pol lay awake on her bunk with her hand over her lower abdomen. She glanced over at the clock, which read 0200 hours. She had not been able to sleep since she had come back aboard Enterprise. She could not stop thinking about her child and wondering if the baby was okay. She did not know how she could return to her duties if her mind was completely consumed by her pregnancy. Sighing, she realized that was not entirely true. She could still sense Trip's emotions. They were but a whisper in the back of her mind but, now that she knew their source, she was attuned to them. It was very likely Trip was not sleeping well either. She sensed anxiety and despair from him. She longed to go to him but she wasn't ready to confront him about their relationship yet. Her concern for the well-being of their child was consuming her in much the way she had feared her feelings for Trip would consume her.

T'Pol rose from her bunk and began to dress, having decided that she would not be able to function until her anxiety over her child was eased. Once she was dressed she left her quarters and walked quickly to Sickbay.

It was too early in the morning for most of the crew to be up and about so she did not encounter anyone on her way to Sickbay. She entered the room and looked around for Dr. Phlox.

"Doctor?" she called out uncertainly after she determined he wasn't in the main chamber.

Phlox appeared from the far chamber looking a bit sluggish. Still he greeted her cheerfully. "Ah, Commander, is everything all right?"

T'Pol clasped her hands behind her back in an effort not to fidget. It took her a moment to answer. "I believe I am well. However, I find it difficult to sleep or to concentrate now that my pregnancy is no longer being monitored."

Phlox smiled shaking his head. "You've always protested being forced to stay in Sickbay under observation before. I would have thought you'd feel more comfortable in your own quarters.

"I am more comfortable in my quarters. The problem stems from my inability to keep my concern over the status of the fetus in check. While I was in the Infirmary on the Kovar the condition of the fetus was being continuously monitored. Now, I lack the assurance that nothing is amiss." T'Pol was ashamed to be confessing to such irrational emotionalism but it couldn't be helped, she needed to find a resolution.

"Ah, I see the problem." Phlox gave her a cheerful smile and retreated into the back chamber. He returned just over a minute later which a small device, which he handed to T'Pol. "Please place this across your lower abdomen. It will allow me to monitor the fetus's condition from here and alert me to any changes in its status."

T'Pol nodded, accepting the device and proceeded to unzip her uniform and position the monitor.

Phlox activated one of the Sickbay terminals and a series of readouts popped up on the screen. "There we are," he said indicating the readouts. 'As you can see, there is no cause for concern. The fetus is fine. Perhaps now you can get some rest."

"Thank you doctor," T'Pol replied gratefully and left Sickbay to return to her quarters.

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Trip put down the scanner beside him and rubbed his forehead. Stress and lack of sleep were taking their toll. He knew T'Pol was back on board Enterprise but both Phlox and the Captain had suggested he give her some time to rest. Not seeing her was driving him crazy but he was pretty sure that seeing her again would hurt too. Things couldn't really be any worse for him on the Columbia and thinking about the transfer had become a lifeline to sanity.

He was about to pick up the scanner and return to the task at hand when he sensed her presence. He turned around to see T'Pol approaching him. He was sitting on the floor so he had to look up at her. She looked tired but otherwise well. His heart leapt into his throat as he realized this would be their first conversation since the awkward scene in her quarters after Pon farr. Well after her bout with him anyway, she had also spent three days on the Vulcan ship. Jealousy replaced the apprehension Trip had been feeling and, for the hundredth time he admonished himself for something he had no right to be feeling.

"Hey, T'Pol." He tried to smile at her but he knew he hadn't quite pulled it off.

T'Pol regarded him for a moment then knelt down beside him. "Dr. Phlox has determined that I can resume my duties and the Captain suggested you might need help in Engineering."

Trip chuckled softly. So Jon wanted them to have their little talk. "So are ya okay now?" He winced as his tension was evident in his voice.

"My body is still…recovering but I am not in any danger." She waited until he was looking directly at her and then held his eyes as she spoke again. "I apologize for not contacting you before now. There is much we should discuss now that I have regained my control."

Trip smiled at her sadly. "T'Pol, ya don't have ta say anything. You told me what to expect. I'm the one who needs to work through things."

T'Pol looked down. "You were… distressed during the mating. I did not want to cause you pain."

"It's okay T'Pol, I was just worried about you," he lied. He looked around and lowered his voice, finding an opportunity to end the discussion. "Maybe we should talk about it later when we're less likely to be overheard."

T'Pol conceded and turned her attention to the junction Trip had pulled apart. "If we can expedite the repairs we will have ample time to continue our discussion."

Trip smiled in spite of himself. T'Pol was nothing if not persistent. Maybe just working together like old times would ease things between them, at least until the next assault on his heart.

"Okay, well, we burned out a lot of relays and fried a lot of circuits. We don't have the material to simply replace everything that was damaged, so I'm tryin' ta track down each of the damaged components and replace only what's necessary."

"A reasonable course of action."

"Glad ya approve," he teased. "Anyway, we're loosing signal strength somewhere in this section and I've gotta test each component individually. It'll go a heck of a lot faster if I link the scanner to a PADD and move through each component. You just tell me when you see a change in the signal output."

T'Pol agreed and he set up a data PADD. She knelt down right next to him. She was so close he could feel the warmth of her body. He noticed that she seemed completely unaffected by their proximity to each other. Guess that proves she's over feeling desire around me. Well, she'd explained that to him before, so why did that knowledge make his heart ache slightly?

He began scanning each piece of circuitry and each relay in turn. As he finished the section to his right without any response from T'Pol he moved on to the section to his left. This caused him to lean in closer to T'Pol. He noted that she made no attempt to distance herself from him. Being close to her brought a feeling of warmth to his being. This closeness wouldn't be possible if he left for the Columbia, but then neither would the heartache he reminded himself. He moved the scanner to a group of components that was right in front of T'Pol when the scanner seemed to malfunction.

"I am not getting consistent readings," T'Pol informed him.

"Yeah, I realize that. Something is interfering with the scanner. He moved it away and it seemed to work fine. Then he moved it back and it began to falter again. He was withdrawing it to take a look but when it passed in front of T'Pol it went haywire.

"Put down the PADD," Trip insisted. T'Pol complied and he moved the scanner by her again. Again it reacted. So it wasn't feedback from an improper link to the PADD. "What the hell? Are you wearing some sort of transmitting device?"

To his surprise T'Pol simply nodded, looking contemplative.

He shook his head in disbelief. What the hell was going on here? He grabbed her arm to pull her even closer and said in a low but intense voice, "What's going on T'Pol?"

She glanced nervously over her shoulder and gently pulled back from him. "We should discuss this matter in private."

Trip nodded. "My office then?"

They hastily retreated to his office. Once they were out of earshot of the rest of the crew T'Pol regarded him with trepidation. He could tell whatever she was about to say was difficult for her.

"The device?" he prompted.

"It is a medical device that is transmitting information to Sickbay."

Trip felt a moment of panic but pushed his fear aside enough to ask, "Why is Dr. Phlox still monitoring your condition if you're as fine as you keep sayin' ya are?"

T'Pol regarded him for almost a full minute and Trip knew whatever she was about to say would be heavy. "Technically it is not my vital signs that the Doctor is monitoring." Then she rested a hand low on her abdomen.

Trip felt his world tilt as he slowly grasped the implication of her statement. "My God, you're, I mean, uh… you're pregnant?" He just stared at her unbelieving.

"That is correct." T'Pol's voice and manner were so calm Trip was at a lost how to respond. T'Pol was gazing at him intently, no doubt waiting for him to respond.

As the initial shock wore off Trip realized that his response depended entirely on whether or not he was the father of the child. He was desperate to know the answer yet he was too terrified to ask. One answer would bring him the greatest joy and the other would cause deep despair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then finally he asked in a trembling voice, "Did it happen here or while you were on the Vulcan ship?" Somehow not asking directly if he was the father made it possible to speak.

T'Pol's expression briefly reflected puzzlement. "The pregnancy was achieved on board the Kovar."

Trip closed his eyes in a tight grimace and turned away as he felt his heart breaking. Whatever else she might have been saying was lost on him. Of course he wasn't the father. Lorian had explained to him how difficult having a Human-Vulcan child had been. He could picture T'Pol and Sev with their offspring and his heart ached as jealousy once again consumed him.

"Trip." He winced again. Why had he ever encouraged her to call him that? It was too damn intimate when she said it. Then he felt her hand on his shoulder as she urged him to turn back around to face her. "You misunderstand. The conception occurred during the Pon farr but it was only through medical intervention on board the Kovar that the pregnancy was achieved."

Trip blinked, stunned again. What was she saying? He was the father! She hadn't been over there having mad passionate sex with Sev. This new turn of events was almost too much to take in. T'Pol was pregnant with his child.

A smile slowly spread across his face. "So yer saying you and I…that we are having a baby?" His sorrow was quickly being replaced with joy.

T'Pol nodded and her eyes lit up as her expression softened into what Trip had come to realize was T'Pol's version of a smile.

Unable to contain himself, Trip let out a loud whoop as he picked her up and swung her around.

"Commander!" she exclaimed as he set her back down in front of him. "The crew will hear you," she cautioned.

Trip was too happy to care. "So what? Everyone will know eventually." He was still smiling at her.

Her expression became serious as she placed her hands in his and caught his eyes. "Trip, the outcome of this pregnancy is far from certain."

Trip's smile faded as fear took hold. "What do ya mean?" She must want this child. She had gone to great lengths to become pregnant after all.

T'Pol averted her eyes as she replied, "I was not prepared to become pregnant. When Lorian was conceived my counterpart had already begun the process of preparing her body to carry a child that was half human. This pregnancy has begun without that preparation. It is possible that I will not be able to sustain the pregnancy." T'Pol's voice was beginning to crack as she spoke that last statement. Trip could tell that she was both concerned and afraid for their child.

He looked down at her abdomen. "So that's why yer wearing the monitor? So that Phlox can tell if the baby's still okay?" He pulled her closer to him. He knew he was taking a liberty with her but she was carrying his child after all. Plus, she wasn't resisting but instead she seemed to relish the closeness. He felt her nod against his chest.

She pulled back a bit and looked up at him. "There is relatively little Phlox can do at this point if something goes wrong." Her voice was sorrowful. "I found I was unable to concentrate on anything other then the well-being of the child once I left the Kovar. Phlox suggested the monitor might help ease my concerns."

Trip pulled her back to him once again. He could sense she felt some relief from sharing her fears with him. But why had she waited for so long before coming to him? Why hadn't she told him the moment she found out they had conceived a child?

"T'Pol, why did you wait until now to tell me all this? Were you afraid I wouldn't want the baby?" If that was the case she really didn't know him at all.

She let her arms slip around him as she tilted her head to look up at him. "I wanted to spare you grief if I lost the child."

Trip hugged her fiercely to him. He was all too aware that that was still a possibility. "Whatever the outcome T'Pol I want to be there with you." He paused looking down at her. "If that's what you want too that is." He tried not to let his fear show.

T'Pol just gazed up at him and he began to dread her response. Then her mouth curled up in a barest hint of a smile. "That would be agreeable," she replied.

Trip laughed out loud at her teasing. Then he stepped back and placed a hand on her belly. "So, when will we know if everything will be okay?"

"I am uncertain. Perhaps we should consult Dr. Phlox once we have completed the repairs."

Trip shook his head. "The repairs are gonna take days. I want ta see Phlox now." He took her hand and left his office, pulling her with him.

He released her as soon as they were in full view of his Engineering staff. Although he pretended not to notice them, he could tell his team was watching them with interest. He found Rostov and motioned for his attention. "Something's come up that I've gotta take care of. Tell Hess I'll be back in a couple'a hours."

"Yes Commander," Rostov replied. He was all business as he urged a few on-lookers to get back to work but Trip knew he was just as curious about the two senior officers as the rest.

"It is unprofessional to abandon our work while on duty," T'Pol chastised as the walked quickly to Sickbay.

Trip rolled his eyes. "I just found out I'm gonna be a father! I think the Captain and the crew will understand."

"I do not wish to inform anyone of my condition at present." Her voice was soft and low.

Trip reached for her hand again as they walked. "Look. It'll be up ta you ta say when we spread the news and ta whom." He paused not sure how to make his next request. "Um, I would like ta tell my folks though." He glanced over at T'Pol to gage her response.

"Would you not rather wait until we are more certain of the outcome?"

"The uncertainty is why I wanna tell 'em right away. That way they could pray for the baby. Ya know, send him good thoughts." He hoped she wouldn't chastise him about how illogical it was to believe good thoughts would affect the outcome.

To his relief she merely nodded her consent and then tilted her head up toward him. "Him?"

Trip was unable to contain a wide grin. "Yeah, well after meeting Lorian I guess I always thought you and I would have a son."

"Indeed." She paused and glanced over at him several times before continuing, "Would you prefer a male child to a female one?"

"No, no! That's not what I meant." Maybe T'Pol already knew the sex of the baby and it was a girl. "I mean, if it's a girl that's great! Daddy's little girl." He felt a bit flustered. It really didn't matter to him if this child was male or female as long as he got to hold a healthy baby in his arms. Still his curiosity was now piqued. "So, um, is it a girl?"

"I have not yet inquired about the sex of the child."

Trip nodded absently. Maybe she didn't want to know. Maybe it would make it easier if they lost the baby it they didn't know. No, it would still hurt the same knowing or not knowing, he realized.

They had reached Sickbay and T'Pol had pulled her hand out of Trip's grasp as they entered together. Phlox had been feeding one of his "pets" but he joined them quickly.

"Commanders, what can I do for you today?" He said amiably.

"Commander Tucker has discovered the monitoring device and I have informed him of the pregnancy."

Trip thought Phlox seemed relieved to hear her disclosure.

"Excellent news. Congratulations Commander," he said gripping Trip's shoulder.

For some reason, hearing Phlox congratulate him on his impending fatherhood brought the reality of the situation sharply into focus. The woman he loved was pregnant with his child! If all went well, he'd be holding his child in his arms less than a year from now. It was that if all went well part that kept him from turning into a deliriously happy idiot.

"Thanks, Doc." He paused and ran his tongue across his cheek as he worked up the courage to ask about the baby. "T'Pol said there might be some problems?"

Phlox nodded and regarded him with compassion. "According to the records from Lorian's Enterprise, his gestation was made possible by treating T'Pol with certain chemicals in order to prompt her body into maintaining the pregnancy. She prepared months in advance for his conception. This pregnancy occurred without that preparation, making the outcome less certain. Additionally, there were some complications with Lorian's pregnancy that we may encounter this time as well."

Trip nodded slowly, taking in all in. "Doc, can ya tell us straight up where we stand on this?" He was sure Phlox would understand what he was asking.

"It is impossible to quote you odds Commander, but every day T'Pol continues to carry the baby without incident increase the odds in our favor." Trip liked the way Phlox said our favor. It made him feel that he and T'Pol weren't in this all alone.

Trip gave him a small nod. He realized that his life would be filled with anxiety and fear for the foreseeable future. He placed a hand on T'Pol's belly again. It will all be worth it the first time I hear you cry, he silently told his unborn child.

"Doc, is there anything we can do to help those odds?"

Phlox brightened. "Yes, Commander. You can ensure that T'Pol stays well rested and free of unnecessary stress."

T'Pol's expression conveyed annoyance but Trip smiled back at the doctor. "Anything ya say Doc."

T'Pol turned to Trip. "We should return to Engineering to continue the repairs."

Trip frowned but he knew she was right. "Okay, but we've got a lot to talk about tonight."

"Agreed," T'Pol replied.

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"You must be joking," Malcolm said in disbelief as he stared across the table at Hoshi.

"Are you sure you heard right?" Travis added.

Hoshi gave her male companions a stern look. "I heard right. Carol was telling Jamison that Lt. Hess said no one was to say a word until the Commanders made a formal announcement. She's his second so it would make sense that she would know if he was going to pop the question." Hoshi was obviously excited but Malcolm thought she was letting her imagination run too wild over an overheard exchange.

"I very much doubt that Trip would talk to Hess if he was planning to ask T'Pol to marry him and not anyone else."

Hoshi smirked at him. "You're just jealous that Trip didn't come to you first."

Travis shook his head. "Malcolm's right Hoshi, it doesn't make sense that he wouldn't at least talk to the Captain about it first."

She turned her frown to Travis. "How do you know he hasn't?"

Malcolm came to Travis's rescue. "I think a more likely scenario is that T'Pol's better now and Trip was just glad to hear it. I don't know all the details but I think she was worse off than any of us realized."

It was Hoshi's turn to shake her head. "That doesn't explain why they needed to have their little chat in private."

"Commander T'Pol is a very private person. I'm sure she didn't want to discuss her medical condition it front of the entire Engineering staff," Malcolm insisted.

"But why didn't they wait to have their conversation after the duty shift and why did they leave Engineering together?"

Malcolm wasn't sure how to answer that one and, apparently neither was Travis.

Hoshi sat back and grinned at the two men. "I think Trip asked her to marry him before the away team left to disable the tractor beam and T'Pol didn't give him an answer right away. Once she got better she made him sweat it a bit then causally mentioned her acceptance while they were working in Engineering. Tell me you can't see her doing something like that?"

Malcolm wanted to argue against her little scenario but some of his rationale came from the privileged information he'd obtained while talking with Trip in the gym. Instead he opted to say, "You're going to be embarrassed when you find out your wrong about this."

"Maybe but its fun to speculate, and there isn't a person in Engineering that doesn't think we'll be hearing wedding bells soon."

"In that case, I hope you're right," Malcolm said with a smile.

TBC