A/N: I haven't been trying to write dialogue-only stories, but it seems all I can manage right now. I already feel swamped as it is. Hopefully they're not too disappointing. If it's any consolation, I love writing them. They give me a much-needed brain break.
Oh, and if I periodically break into Middle English, that's okay, it's supposed to happen. I swear.
Dedicated to all you wonderful people out there, who can still produce marvelous work even when school's weighing you down. I applaud every one of you.
-
"A girl called me pretty today."
"You sound surprised."
"Well . . ."
"You don't think you're pretty?"
"Usually I don't think that about myself, no."
"Why not?"
"I just – oh, c'mon! A girl called me pretty! Pretty! Ponies are pretty!"
"So?"
"So? So it's a problem!"
"Where did you get problem out of pretty?"
"She said I had pretty eyes, and then she smiled at me!"
"Okay . . ."
"No, no, no! It wasn't a, 'Hey, aren't you hot, why don't we roll around in the sack' smile, it was a, 'Wow, you'd look cute on the cover of a gay magazine' smile!"
"You can tell those smiles apart?"
"Well –"
"Wow."
"Wait until you hear the best part."
"There's a best part?"
"Yeah. When her gay best friend asked me out."
"That's so sweet!"
"I knew I shouldn't've told you!"
"You're just overreacting. So what if a girl thought you were gay?"
"What if a girl thought you were gay?"
"I wouldn't let it bother me. Why is this so traumatizing for you? Are you gay?"
"NO! NO, NO, NO!"
"Don't get so worked up, I was just kidding."
"It's not funny."
"And you're funny twenty-four seven."
"Hey, don't drag my humor into this!"
"I was just saying! Don't get all defensive and quippy!"
"Don't drag my demeanor into this!"
"Shut up!"
"You shut up!"
"You shut up!"
"You shut up!"
"SHUT UP!"
"You know, if we were twenty years younger, I'd be throwing mud at you."
"We don't have any mud."
"I'm so glad we're always on the same page."
"If I had mud, I'd throw it at you."
"Okay, honesty is good."
"Wouldn't you throw mud at me?"
"I'd watch you throw mud at Rachel."
"You pervert."
"I'm just saying!"
"At least you're not Joey."
"Don't drag Joey into this!"
"I swear to God, Chandler –"
"I'm just saying!"
"Cut it out!"
"Sorry."
"Hmph."
Pause.
"Mon?"
"What?"
"Nothing."
"What?"
"Nothing!"
Pause.
"Chandler?"
"Yeah?"
"I think you're pretty too."