Chapter 10

Lucius had still not returned from the party when Narcissa awoke the following morning. Ignoring whatever feelings of jealousy or bitterness she might feel at his staying at her sister's house without her, Narcissa dressed and ate her breakfast alone. Although unhappy as to the reason, Narcissa was actually glad that Lucius was not around, so tense did she feel about the possible meeting with Mr Fenwick later that day. She busied herself around the house all morning, putting the question of whether or not she would meet him out of her mind. She set an impossible list of tasks for the house elves to complete, she sent owls out to many of their friends inviting them for a dinner party in a fortnight's time, and she ordered a new set of robes. No matter how many petty tasks she did, however, she could not get Benjy's letter out of her head. By two o clock she knew a decision had to be made. She also knew that she'd already made it.

Hands trembling slightly as she opened the door into her dressing room, Narcissa took out her wand. First conjuring protective spells on the door incase her husband returned, Narcissa sat down in front of the mirror. She and her sisters were well practiced at charms of illusion and disguise. It had always been a favourite game of Andromeda's to make themselves appear as different characters, disguise themselves in different ways and surprise unsuspecting friends. Knowing it was far more effective, not to mention a great deal easier, to cast several simple spells than to do a full body transformation or brew polyjuice potion, Narcissa started on her hair. She turned it black with one swish of her wand, and cut it shorter with another so that it was in a striking bob around her ears. Her eyes she made rounder, giving her a more innocent look rather than her usual more calculating one, casting a few enlargement spells here and there, and some stretching spells, so that her face was subtly different all over. Narcissa's vanity was such that she was no less beautiful, but a beauty of a different kind. Knowing that full body enlargements were risky, Narcissa did not attempt to alter her height, but she smiled slightly at her own shallowness as she cast an engorgement charm on her breasts, which had always been smaller than she would have liked. Narcissa had never been a very powerful witch, and she knew that the charms she had put on herself would only last an hour or so, but she hoped this would be enough time to find Benjy without being recognized.

Standing in front of the full length mirror Narcissa carefully transfigured her rich silk robes into plainer, simple black ones that would go unnoticed. Then she donned a full length cloak, and pulled up the hood. No-one seeing her would have ever recognized Mrs Malfoy. Satisfied, she took a pinch of floo powder from the pot above her fireplace. Taking a deep breath, she tossed it into the grate and stepped in.

"The Leaky Cauldron!" She cried, and with a swirl of green flames, she was gone.

The Leaky Cauldron was very crowded. It was a Saturday afternoon and many wizarding families were out in London doing their shopping. Narcissa anxiously stepped amongst them, not wishing to attract anyone's attention as she looked around for Benjy. She knew she was being ridiculously cautious; nobody gave her a second glance, and even had she not been in disguise it was unlikely that anyone would have found the idea of Mrs Malfoy going to Diagon Alley a cause for suspicion. Still, Narcissa was terrified. She had never done anything that felt like such a betrayal of Lucius, and although he had not forbidden her to go to Diagon Alley whenever she wished, she was still horrified at the thought of what he would do to her if he found out she had gone to meet Mr Fenwick alone.

Making her way around a large group of teenage girls who were huddling together gossiping and examining each other's purchases, Narcissa spotted a cloaked man sitting alone at a table in the corner. Stepping closer she recognized Benjy under the hood, and walked towards him, trembling slightly. He stood up, looking at her with curious eyes, no doubt wondering if it were her.

Mustering her courage, she stepped up to him and spoke. "Mr Fenwick - " she began, but he cut her off with an abrupt shake of his head, and she saw him glance briefly to her left. Turning her head slightly in that direction Narcissa took a sharp intake of breath. Sitting at a table nearby were Mr and Mrs Rosier with a group of friends. They did not recognize her of course, but Narcissa was very relieved that she had taken so much trouble over her disguise.

Benjy looked at her intently, his dark eyes looking slightly suspiciously at her from behind his hair. "Please tell me, Madame, what is the weather like today?"

Narcissa caught on at once. Repeating the words of his letter, she said softly. "It is a very bitter wind outside."

Benjy smiled and beckoned her to follow him as he turned with a swish of his cloak and made his way outside to the small courtyard behind the pub. Narcissa did not know what to think as she followed him into Diagon Alley. She knew she was mad. She knew that she was crazy to be meeting this man, a man who her husband now openly disliked, and yet something about him pulled her, attracted her even. She hopelessly followed his clicking boots down the cobbled street.

He turned and waited for her to fall in step beside him, and then he spoke in a low voice.

"I must tell you how glad I am you came. I thought you would not dare."

Narcissa smiled at him. "I did not think I would dare either. I think I have lost my mind."

Benjy laughed at that. "No, I think you have only just found your mind, Mrs Malfoy."

Narcissa cast a quick worried glance around her to check nobody had heard her name mentioned. Nobody was paying them any attention, however. Benjy smiled at her concern. "It is quite all right, I have cast a silencing bubble around us. Nobody can hear us."

"Oh!" Narcissa felt slightly foolish that she had not noticed him doing this, but was impressed at his skill. She relaxed however, and felt less anxious now that the threat of discovery seemed so small. "But please, call me Narcissa."

Benjy smiled and lead them on, though Narcissa thought he looked slightly troubled as he continued along the street. It was hardly surprising, in these days it was dangerous to be seen out and about with strangers, nobody knew who to trust. Narcissa herself could not stop feeling slightly worried despite all their precautions. What was she doing here anyway? Why did he even want to meet her, especially under such secrecy?

They turned a corner and left the bustle of Diagon Alley. He was leading her along a row of smaller shops and houses with a more battered look, in contrast to the bright and shining shop fronts of the main street. They walked for a while in silence, Narcissa hoping they would reach their destination soon as she was anxious about her illusion spells lasting. At last he stopped in front of a small building with some paintings on display in the window. Benjy tapped the door handle and muttered some words under his breath before pushing it open. He gestured her in before him. Inside it smelt strongly of paint and varnish, and Narcissa gasped as she looked around. Every wall was covered in beautiful paintings, most of them finished, though some standing on easels only partly completed. In the corner stood a small stove and a table with two battered chairs. Through a door the other side of the room Narcissa could see a small bedroom. A tatty looking brown owl blinked down at her beadily from its perch high up in a corner.

"This," said Benjy, "is my studio." He finally took down the hood of his cloak and ran a hand through his messy hair. He still looked very anxious.

"It's… wonderful." Breathed Narcissa.

"I thought you might like to see this." Benjy said, walking over to one of the easels and turning it around so she could see. Narcissa drew in her breath. It was the painting of her and Lucius. It was not yet complete; Narcissa knew they still had one more sitting to do, and only parts of the painting were done in detail. Lucius was almost complete, his face exactly his usual sneer. Narcissa looked at her own representation in the painting however, and saw that only her robes were done in detail. Her face at present was only a watery blur. Benjy saw where she was looking.

"Yes, your face has caused me some difficulty. You are so… cold and severe, yet I did not want to paint you that way, not when I can see past that." Narcissa looked sharply at him then looked away, embarrassed, as he caught her eye. "Your husband on the other hand…" Benjy continued, "he was a very easy subject. Nothing about his feelings are concealed and I had no difficulty capturing his character." Narcissa turned away from the painting. She felt extremely uncomfortable looking at the painting of her husband, as though his glinting eyes meant that the real Lucius was watching her too. Then she felt her hair grow heavier and knew that her charms were at last failing. Benjy looked at her as her hair grew longer and turned back to its usual blonde. Narcissa closed her eyes as her appearance changed back to normal. Under Benjy's gaze she felt exposed, naked.

She jumped slightly as she felt Benjy's hand brush her arm, and she opened her eyes.

"Narcissa… you are so beautiful, I wish you knew it."

Nobody had ever expressed that desire to Narcissa before. She had a reputation for being rather vain, and all the Black sisters had always known they were beautiful. Benjy seemed, once again, to read her thoughts.

"External beauty is one thing, Narcissa. I mean I wish you knew how beautiful you are on the inside. Nobody knows you, Narcissa. You are so oppressed, and… and I can't bare it." He turned away from her with frustration and walked over to the window. Narcissa did not know what to do, she felt like crying, but held herself together. She was well practiced at remaining composed.

Benjy spoke from the window. "I know what you are doing. I know you are trying your best to appear cool and calm towards me, Mrs Malfoy." Narcissa said nothing. She felt horribly exposed, embarrassed, and would have felt angry at being so easily read if she didn't feel such shock at his ability to do so. "Why do you do it?" Benjy asked. "Why do you do this to yourself?" He turned around, fierce passion in his eyes. Narcissa did not respond. He walked over quickly and held her by the shoulders. "Why wear that mask?" Narcissa flinched as he shook her slightly.

"Please… don't…"

Benjy dropped his arms at once in shock. "Dear Merlin, I am not going to hurt you." He glared at the painting before them. "I am not like some men."

Lucius' eyes glinted back at them, they were both acutely aware of his name, unmentioned between them.

The two remained silent for a minute, frozen like the unfinished paintings. Then Narcissa moved. "I must get back to my husband… he will expect me…"

Benjy closed his eyes.

"I am sorry…" Narcissa whispered. He opened his eyes again.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked.

"I…" Narcissa began, "I don't know…"

"Do you know why I wanted you to meet me?" Benjy asked, his eyes fierce once more as he took a step towards Narcissa, who was pale and weak in comparison. "I can see into you, Narcissa. I can understand you… and…" He turned away again, seemingly unable to get the words out.

"And… what?" whispered Narcissa, dreading and desperately wanting the rest.

"And… I am falling in love with you."

Their eyes met, Narcissa trembling slightly as his words repeated over and over in her head.

"I know you do not feel indifferent to me, as you would have your husband believe. I so want you to break away, to stand up to him, to defend yourself… because you are worth defending."

Some inexplicable feeling welled up inside Narcissa, making her want to sob into this man's chest. But she couldn't, she mustn't break down.

"I… I can't. I can't, Benjy, I am too weak."

"You're not weak, Narcissa, I remember you and your sisters from school, though I doubt very much if you remember me. But I remember the Black sisters, and they were not weak."

"You remember Bellatrix, or Andromeda. You don't remember me. I was never strong without the others." Narcissa closed her eyes, and went on. "I am not strong enough to stand up to Lucius… you don't know what he'd do to me."

She made to turn away but Benjy seized her and pulled her to him, and before she knew what was happening he was kissing her. For the briefest moment part of Narcissa was telling her to pull away, to stop; it was too dangerous, it was wrong. But Narcissa couldn't help it, she was falling in love with this man. She pushed all her thoughts out of her head and kissed him back, and to her surprise felt her face grow wet with tears at the bliss of being kissed by somebody she loved, who loved her. Benjy was not cruel, or demanding, and Narcissa could barely contain the wave of emotions overtaking her.

A sudden noise in the street brought Narcissa to her senses and she pulled away, slightly breathless. "I must go… I must leave… Lucius will be expecting me…"

Benjy nodded. "Narcissa… promise me you'll come again… tell me you'll meet me again."

Narcissa looked pained. "I can't… I don't know… Lucius…" she whispered. She caught sight of the clock on Benjy's wall that told her she'd been away for two hours. Narcissa was terrified that Lucius would find out where she'd been. Not wanting to use up more time redoing all the illusion charms, Narcissa tucked her long blond locks into her cloak and pulled up the hood so that very little of her face was visible. Benjy watched her in silence. She turned to him when she was ready. "I must leave, you must understand. I have no choice."

"I know." He replied. "I know. But I can't bare to think of you suffering."

Narcissa held his gaze for a moment longer, then turned and hurried out into the street.

Thank you for reading, please review.

Coming soon: Chapter 11

Will Narcissa make it back to Lucius without being seen? Will Lucius suspect anything? And will she see Benjy again?

Just some things to ponder on... please review and let me know what you think.