DISCLAIMER: My psychiatrist has been trying to convince me that I am not Joss Whedon but he just doesn't understand! I am Joss Whedon! The other day some nut called from Mutant Enemy saying he's Joss Whedon! Can you believe that quack? Some people are just plain obsessed!
SUMMARY: Ok. I've discovered that I'm much better at reading fanfics than writing, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. So I just had to write it!
Buffy and Dawn get shipped off to a coed boarding school when their mother dies of cancer. At the Cate Midland Academy they meet a quirky bunch of people who change their lives.
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I can't believe he did this! How could he? I thought he wanted to spend more time with us! How could he ship us off to boarding school? He abandoned us so he could go to France with Danielle his airhead secretary!
Buffy was lost in thought as she stared at the trees going by. Her sister Dawn was busy listening to some boy band while she flipped through magazines. Buffy was brought back to reality by the driver's voice.
"We're here," said the driver.
"Thank you. Dawnie, we're here," Buffy replied.
Dawn was engrossed in her magazine and hadn't heard a word Buffy said. Buffy sighed and took off Dawn's headphones. Dawn shut her magazine and looked quizzically at Buffy.
"What?" asked Dawn.
"We're here Dawnie," Buffy replied.
"Oh," said Dawn.
"Well aren't you going to get out?" asked Buffy.
"I am. I'm just finishing this quiz first," Dawn replied.
Buffy rolled her eyes, shook her head and sighed. She opened the door and got out of the car. She stood up and took off her sunglasses and looked at her surroundings. Soon, Dawn was by her side.
"It looks so…" said Dawn.
"Picture perfect?" Buffy suggested.
"Yeah," Dawn replied.
"I bet it's far from it," Buffy murmured.
"What do we do now?" asked Dawn.
"I guess we have to find our rooms and unpack," Buffy replied.
"Ok. But where are the dorms?" said Dawn.
" I really don't know. Let's ask," replied Buffy, heading towards a redhead engrossed in conversation.
"Um… excuse me. Ahh… hi. Do you know where the dorms are?" asked Buffy.
"Hi. The dorms are on the east wing," the redhead replied. Buffy raised an eyebrow.
"Oh! You don't know where that it is. Why don't I just show you?" said the redhead.
"Ok. Thanks," Buffy replied.
"We'll just get your things and go," said the redhead as they headed towards Dawn and their luggage.
"I'm Willow Rosenberg by the way," said the redhead.
"I'm Buffy Summers and this is my sister Dawn," Buffy replied.
"Hey," said Dawn.
"Hi. Ok. Where are you?" said Willow.
"I'm in Stevenson Hall and Dawn's in Bradley Hall," Buffy replied.
"Ok. Let's go then," said Willow, helping them with their luggage.
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"You're in room 38. Goddess! You're my new roommate!" said Willow.
"Great! Let's go," Buffy replied. Willow nodded and took the lead as she headed to their room.
"Here we are," said Willow opening the door.
"Nice view," Buffy replied motioning to the window.
"Yeah. It's great. So… let's get you unpacked," said Willow.
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As Willow helped Buffy unpack there came a knock at the door.
"Red, you in there?" came a voice.
"Yeah. Come in Faith," Willow replied.
"Hey Red," said the brunette called Faith followed by three other girls.
"This is my new roommate Buffy Summers," Willow replied.
"Hi," said Buffy.
"I'm Winifred Douglas. You can call me Fred," said the shy brown-haired girl.
"I'm Anya Emmanuelle Jenkins. I like money and orgasms," said the blunt blonde.
"I'm Faith Wilkins. Don't mind A, she can be a little blunt," said Faith.
"I'm Benjamin Jones. My parents expected a boy. Just call me Benjie. We're working on Anya's tact," said the African-American.
"My name is actually Elizabeth, but I go by Buffy. Nice to meet all of you," Buffy replied.
"Where are the guys?" asked Willow.
"At Mr. Rossini's," Faith replied.
"This is all your fault y'know Benjie," said Anya.
"What did I do?" asked Benjie.
"You introduced them to Mr. Rossini and his stupid car collection and now Xander's over there instead of here giving me orgasms!" Anya replied.
"Chill out you sex-a-holic! You can get orgasms all the time! You got plenty before he left!" said Benjie.
"Who says Xander's the only guy who can give you orgasms?" asked Faith.
"Yeah! Y'know, we should go to Lady's Knight tonight," said Benjie.
"I want to see Jake the Fireman. He can come get my kitty any day!" said Fred wagging her eyebrows.
"Winifred Douglas! You little hussy!" said Willow.
" Gilly said they've got new blood. I wonder if he's got a big penis like Xander?" said Anya.
"Anya!" the girls scolded.
"What's Lady's Knight?" asked Buffy.
"It's a strip club in Haverley, a town near here. It's got lots of sexy male strippers. It opened up last month," said Benjie.
"Yum! All that salty goodness!" said Willow with a dreamy look.
"Excuse me! Don't y'all have boyfriends? I am the single one here! I'm entitled to the salty goodness," said Benjie.
"I'm single too," said Buffy.
"Correction. Buffy and I are entitled to the salty goodness," Benjie replied.
"Nothing's wrong with a little window shopping," said Faith.
"Faith you do not window shop. You try 'em on, take 'em for a spin and then return them," said Willow.
"Face it Faith. You're a bona fide whore," said Anya.
"Shut up!' said Faith playfully punching Anya.
"She's right Faith. Men are like an all-you-can-eat buffet in your eyes," said Fred.
"I've got Wesley now. I don't do that anymore," said Faith.
"Uh-huh," said Willow in a disbelieving tone.
"Benjie!" said Faith.
"C'mon guys. Let's go have some fun and leave the whore," said Benjie.
"Thanks. Hey!" said Faith hitting Benjie with a pillow. Anya laughed.
"What are you laughing about?" said Benjie hitting Anya with a pillow.
"Hey!" said Anya returning the blow.
"Pillow fight!" said Faith whacking Buffy.
"Hey!" said Buffy whacking a laughing Willow.
"No you did not!" said Willow whacking Buffy.
Soon the girls were engaged in an all-out war. The room was filled with laughter as blows were exchanged. After the pillow fight they collapsed on the beds with laughter.
They're crazy, but they're okay. I like them.