Convincing Harry

By Abay

-Chapter-Four-

A Dawn

Enjoy ! ;)

Having werewolf blood in him, Remus was way stronger than James, way too strong, but nevertheless he sent every punch and kick at Remus he could, but his old friend whom he seeked helped from had an advantage over him. James was feeling light headed from the blows he had received on his head and for some reason, his movements today were not as coordinated as they used to be. There was no way he would win over Remus.

With a roar of fury, Remus sent him into the wall pinning him by the collar of his robes with ferocity he never knew resided in him.

"OFFF!" Panting heavily, he struggled to break free of Remus's sturdy grip, which was slowly stopping the oxygen from flowing into his lungs. His hands clawed at Remus', trying to find release, but Remus did not head to the pain, and slowly, his hands started to loose their energy, all he could focus on was air. Air! He needed air! His eyes started watering, bulging out of their sockets, black spots formed danced in his sight, he started to feel lightheaded and his head started lolling to the side. He was going to black out! Air! He needed –

Air suddenly rushed through his lungs as Remus lessened his grip around his throat, sweet, heavenly air, and he gulped madly for it, slowly recovering.

"Now tell me," snarled Remus who was too out of breath. "Why didn't your filthy master come here himself?"

He did not know why Remus attacking him, or why he was accusing him with preposterous accusations, and nor did he know why he was acting this way towards him, but there was one thing James was sure of: That this was not the Remus he knew. Remus would never do this to him. He must have really been seduced by the dark side…he must have joined the Dark Order.

James stared hard at him and spoke with fury and pain in his voice. "I…I should have… believed Peter and…Sirius," he said panting. "I should have known… I should've known that…that you were the spy! It was you who leaked information--"

Remus laughed drowning the rest of his words though there was no amusement in his laughter. "Me? A spy? Never; Peter was the one-"

"Peter would never betray me!" roared James defending the honor of his friend.

Remus laughed with apathy once again. "Both you and I know that Peter was the one who betrayed Lily and James, he was the one that gave them willingly to Voldemort, and you know what happened to them. They died. They died so there's no way you'll make me believe that James is back from the dead, so why don't you give up this fake pretense of yours."

What did Remus mean? What did he mean that Peter betrayed them? Peter would never do such a thing! And what was this about Lily and he being dead? He was standing right here, right in front of Remus!

"No," he whispered horror filling him. "You're lying. There're not dead Remus, they can't be!"

"I've had enough of you," Remus spat pulling out his wand from within his robes.

"Remus no!" James yelled horrified. Remus couldn't kill him! Not now! Not when Lily and Harry needed him most, and if he had to beg him for mercy then so be it, for Lily and Harry, he would do anything. If he could give them the world, then he would have. "Let go of me Remus, let me go! Lily and Harry are missing, you don't understand!"

But Remus raised his wand paying him no heed...

Out of impulse, James transformed into a stag, which felt like an oddly foreign feeling, and raised Remus with his antlers throwing him to the ground viciously. Remus fell down to the ground with full force right on his head, and he tried to get up, to fight back, but judging by the way he screwed his eyes, Remus' head was spinning with the impact of the fall.

Swiftly, James deformed back into his human form and snatched Remus's wand which had fallen right beside Remus. Although his old friend could have beaten him to the wand- as it was right beside him- he didn't make to get the wand like James expected him to, but instead of attacking James when Remus got back the opportunity, he stared at him, with complete disbelief in his amber eyes that were locked with his own, and James saw something spark in them…a spark that he always used to see in Remus's eyes...the Remus he remembered.

All emotions despite disbelief seemed to wash out of Remus as he saw the stag transformed before his very eyes, and he waited for what felt like time without end to wake up, he would surely wake up to find that this was nothing but a mere dream…but his waking moment never came.

No one could ever replicate an animagus form, no matter how powerful the wizard was. They couldn't; so what did this mean? Why was that imposter able to transform into James stag form? Did this mean that James was indeed alive?

But how? He asked himself confused. How is this possible? Was James never dead? Was he, in fact, alive all these year? ..But why would he suddenly show up? Why would he hide all these years? Or had he been captured by a Death Eater?

No! cried another distant voice in the back of his head. This is nonsense!

He saw James dead body, he saw it. He could clearly remember the night he shook James to wake up. He could recall the days that he woke up in denial, telling himself that it was a nightmare…but their missing presence proved him wrong, the vacant hole in his heart proved him wrong.

James was dead. He knew it, he was sure of it.

But there were certain facts he could not steer clear of; explicit details that he could not shun…and he did not doubt the sources of these facts, he did not distrust Moony, he had no uncertainty towards his wits, for no human or creature had senses as strong as a werewolf's', and that was why they are not easily fooled. Most identified them as dark creatures that fed on human flesh, but in Remus's eyes, they were sharp creatures that could not be easily deceived.

He had at first thought that Voldemort had sot a way to fool his senses, hoodwink them. Voldemort was not a person to be taken lightly, he was not a person to pay no mind to, for he was- and still is- the darkest wizard that ever walked the skirts of this earth. He had a great- yet malevolent and sinister mind that would come up with the most devious plans which were beyond any ones realm of imagination; Remus had put that fully in mind as soon as he saw 'James'.

Voldemort knew that he was a part of The Order of the Phoenix, he knew that Remus had fought alongside with the light side in this war. He knew that in a way, Remus was part of the strong wall that held them together, and Voldemort was not oblivious to the fact that James meant a great deal to him and to many more. It was true. But Remus had put in mind that Voldemort would do anything to have a spy within his ranks, and what better way to do that than fool people into believing that a man they cherished so much was back after such a long parting? What better way was there than send someone who would be welcomed with open arms into the Order of Phoenix? What other person, than Harrys' father, would be the best way to lure Voldemorts' conqueror?

And that was the reason that he, Remus, was not blinded with the so called figure of the man called James in front of him. But what had hit him hard in the heart, and steered him to the other possibility was when he saw Prongs. All the evidence thus far had pointed out that this was James…his smell…his looks…his stag form. But there was one thing that out-weighed all of that, and it was the fact that James was dead.

It did not make sense!

His head was spinning with queries, Remus could not make head or tail of this situation he was in, but Moony however was howling the answers to him, and that was when he finally accepted it.

There was no question to it, this was James; this was really James! How he did not know, but James was alive!

"Good god, J-James? …Is that really you?" he stuttered disbelievingly.

James lowered the wand when he saw Remus's face dawning into belief, and held out a hand to pull him to his feet, and almost in a dream like state, Remus took his hand. It was ironic how Remus wished for James to be here with him, how he wished to talk to him, but now…now he remained silent staring at his long lost friend, completely lost for words.

None of this made sense, none of it. It didn't make sense that James was with him here when he held him dead in arms; it didn't make sense for him to be alive, but he nevertheless found himself pulling James into an embrace as tears of joy formed in his eyes.

James was here, he was alive.

For James Potter, this night was the longest night he had ever lived through. He felt sick to his stomach with worry. His brain was confused beyond measure, and he was starting to feel a dull ache in his heart, as though a hole had been ripped open it, and James had the feeling that this wound of his was widening even further. He could not understand why he was feeling this way, but what James didn't know was that there was indeed a part of him missing, but he shunned the notion of it…He would not believe it…He refused to…and only by repeating to himself that Lily and Harry were absolutely fine did he find comfort and reassurance. And yet it was not comfort nor reassurance he had found…It was denial, because if truth be told…James didn't know that they were alright…he just assumed it…and he had to know….once and for all…he had to know…even if his family really was….

James screwed his eyes at that very thought and he forced himself to try and remember where he had last seen Lily and Harry. It was the right place to start, and from there, he could gather some clues and start his search, but then, as he dug through his brain for the last moment he had been with his family, something flashed before his eyes…something that happened hours ago…despite the fact that it felt like years of time had come to pass since that incident…that incident that left nothing of his life that he had come to passionately love.

Flash

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!"

Lilys' emerald eyes widened and glinted with horror as grabbed the baby held in his arms running to the stairs.

Flash

The door burst open sending the door of its hinges and he could hear a high-pitched, cold-blooded, laughter.

"James!" shrieked Lily turning back to him.

"LILY! GO!"

Flash

And before he could even pull out his wand Voldemort pulled his own wand ruthlessly and pointed it right at the bundle of robes in Lilys' arms.

His red eyes flashed with a sickening glee.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Flash

His mind stopped thinking as Voldemort articulated those words, and without even realizing what he was doing, he jumped right in front of his wife and son shielding them from the curse.

"JAMES!" screeched Lily.

"NOOOO!" he screamed gripping onto Remus as he recollected that fatal night, the night that Voldemort barged into his home, a home of elation and bliss…

It couldn't be…It couldn't be…

"Remus…tell me they got away…tell me…" James whispered in complete rejection, but when a stony silence was his only reply he pulled Remus back, holding him by the shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. "Remus, they're here aren't they? They got away from Voldemort didn't they?"

Silence…

"Then Sirius took them right? Sirius hid Lily and Harry away didn't he Remus? DIDN'T HE!" he screamed.

Remus' amber eyes shun over-bright and screwed up his eyes, turning away from James, looking anywhere but at him. How was he supposed to tell James that the love of his life was gone? He did not have the heart to do it…he couldn't.

"ANSWER ME FOR GODS SAKE REMUS! ANSWER ME!" James yelled raucously, shaking his shoulders, his hazel eyes trying to lock with Remus' so that he could find an answer within them.

"Lily…she…she's gone James…she's…"

It felt like a rock was being wedged in his throat stopping him from inhaling, and James suddenly didn't want to know the answer, he did not want the truth, yet deep down, he knew the answers to his question of where Lily and Harry where, but he did not want to believe it, he wanted to live in an illusion his own mind had set up.

"LILY!" he yelled turning around as though she would pop out grinning, with those breath taking emerald eyes. "LILY!"

"LILY! HARRY!" he cried now pushing door after door. A yearn inside of him, a no greater desire, no greater wish, that Lily and Harry would be behind one of these doors.

Fleeting images rushed before his eyes of Harrys' mystical, full of life, laughter and giggles as Lily tickled him with her own laughter filling the room, and his need, his craving to find them extended, if possible, even further than ever before.

"James…" he heard Remus call pleadingly from behind him.

"LILY! HARRY!" he screamed croakily, now running out onto the porch.

He called out into the night for them, he screamed for it to enlighten a path for him, but the nights mournful howl tore the tears out of his eyes and he bellowed at it in frustration.

"TELL ME! WHERE ARE THEY! TELL ME!"

"James stop!"

"God, please, please," he prayed heading towards the forest but a hand grabbed onto his robes stopping him. "Let go of me Remus!"

"No!"

"Let go I have to find my son! I have to find my wife!"

"No James! It's too dangerous for you to be out there-"

"I DON'T BLOODY CARE! I WANT MY WIFE AND SON!"

James wiped the tears away from his face, and pulled himself together not even listening to Remus. If he wanted to find Lily and Harry, he had to think straight, he couldn't break into pieces! He must not panic. He must not loose control.

Taking in a deep breath, James thought of a way, any way to prove Remus and the old lady wrong. To prove that Lily and Harry where well and alive, and then, it struck him.

He should have thought of it before! Dumbledore had created this charm for James if he ever was in a hopeless situation like this; he was not to employ it unless there was no other way, unless there was no other alternative to choose, it was too treacherous… too deceitful.

Yes, the charm that he was about to perform was able to swindle them. It was dark…and anything dark had the ability to betray…had the capability to…leak. It could be called an…insider if you wish, a way were the charm could weave its' way into Voldemorts' grasps, and then give him free reign to breach the charm, but right now he had no other choice, there was no other option, and this, with no doubt, was a hopeless situation alright.

Pulling out Remus's wand, he twirled it in the air and muttered the incantation. "Divulganous Campernus!"

A spark of light flickered then reappeared in thin air, slowly, it curved into a web of lines, forming an oval ball of blinding light. James shielded his eyes, and waited for the light to twist into an image. It would show him where Lily was, and Harry was surely with her.

…

But the image he saw was not the one he sought after, it was not the one he pictured of Lily and Harry laughing in his head.

He shut his eyes, screening them from the image above him, the image that seemed to be a closure to his life. The reflection of the graveyard now smiled malevolently down upon him, showing him clearly the tombstone of Lily.

"Oh god no…Dead?" he said inaudibly, his hazel eyes wide, full of hurt and anguish, staring down at his hands. "Dead?"

And then, no matter how many times it was said to him tonight, the words finally sank in. James suddenly could no longer feel his legs, it felt as though the ground was shaking with fury under him, raged at the revelation that had been disclosed before his very eyes, and he let out yet another fraught, pleading yell.

"My wife! My son, my boy! Please god no...Please…" But no one could hear his anguished cries…no one could feel a hole being burnt into his heart…

James sank to the ground, falling onto his knees, and what life and hope he had left sank along with him. His heart did not shatter any further…There was nothing left of it to shatter…He was not conscious of the trembling of his body, of the tears he was shedding, he had no awareness of what was around him anymore…

What was there, waiting for him in his life, when his wife and son were gone?

But the tears continued to streak his face…an endless flow of his love and affection for what he had lost, that- no matter what- he would not seize to feel. For his love for his wife and son had no extent to it, except he now wished for himself not to love them anymore, if his love to them was this agonizing then he did not want. But it would not leave him! It would not let him rest in peace, and he knew that it would haunt him 'till the day of his death.

Completely collapsing with grief like he had never felt before, James fell face forward into the ground, soaking himself with wet mud. "My Lily, my wife…Harry…my boy…my son…'' It was like someone was strangling him, squeezing his heart out, the blood would not flow to his head…he would not think coherently…

The wind howled in his ears deploring…the leaves shriveled and what green was left in them drained…and the sky shed its own tears upon James as though they too shared his pains.

"My son, my boy, my Lily; No…no, can't be…can't be…impossible. Peter, how could you? Why Peter?" he muttered disjointedly to himself.

He didn't even feel Remus drag him into the house, half carrying and pulling him like rag doll.

"You-you lied to me Sirius…"

He didn't feel Remus seat him on the couch, he didn't hear his friend telling him to stay put, that he would be back in a moment, he didn't even see Remus charm the house with enchantments.

"Why Peter? Sirius? ... I trusted you both…I put Lily and Harry in your hands…"

And James sat there, rocking himself with grief, still calling for Lily and Harry as pain after pain seared through him and he kept screaming hoarsely, clutching his heart, trying to hold onto what was left of Lily and Harry in it.

"Please don't leave me. Please Lily, Harry, you can't go…You can't die. You can't leave me…"

A.N: Aah, things are getting complicated. Please review!