Convincing Harry

By Abay

-Chapter-Five-

A memory of agony

Enjoy! ;)

Sirius was raising as much wards around Grimmauld Place as he could for today; he had already counseled the quarters from any muggle or wizard eyes and elevated the alarms around the house so that if any intruder was to burst in here it would immediately would be triggered. Sirius already lost count of how many defenses he put on the house, but he had to do all he could to fight the Dark Order, it was the only thing he could do now…

Pop!

Grabbing his wand from within his robes spontaneously, Sirius spun around to find himself face to face with a dishelved Remus. Letting a sigh of relief, Sirius greeted his friend, happy to have company.

"I'm glad you're--"

"Sirius, there's something I want to show you," Remus said hurriedly. "Quick back to my place!"

"Can't this wait," Sirius asked slightly confused at Remus' behavior. "I'm almost done with my work here."

"No!" said Remus sharply, and at seeing his eyes resolute as he had ever seen them, Sirius instantaneously knew that there was something wrong, he could tell by the uneasiness in his old friend, whom he could read like an open book.

"Alright," Sirius said nodding his head and apparating to The Gore to find the place in a complete mess and disorder. "What is it? What's happened here?" he asked Remus as he popped by him.

"Wait here," was all that Remus said, heading toward the living room door and peaking behind it.

As soon as Remus opened the door, Sirius heard incoherent muttering and from a very upset person from the sound of it…The voice was familiar to Sirius, though he could not place his finger on it.

"Who's in there?" he asked curiously, trying to get a glimpse of the person, but Remus had shut the door instantly.

"You're not going to believe me," he said croakily, running a hand through his sandy-brown hair, and shutting his eyes, he leaned his head against the wall, as though the whole world was upon his shoulders.

"Try me Remus," he said edging closer towards Remus, practically feeling the curiosity bubbling in his insides though he did not why or what would make him so excited.

"It's…" his old friend hesitated for a second then gulped and plunged on. "It's James…"

Blinking, and looking as though someone had struck him hard in the face, Sirius looked at the man standing in front of him as though he had seen him for the first time in his life.

"What!"

"I know, I know, that's not possible, I too thought it was some sort of plan of Voldemorts'," Remus said now pacing as he ran another shaking hand through his brown hair. "But Sirius, he smells like Prongs, and you know how strong a werewolf's' sent is, and I saw him transform Sirius, I saw him transform with my own eyes! You know that no can duplicate an animagus form, you know they can't."

"Remus…" he said looking at his friend with sorrow and pity.

He did not know how they had fooled Remus; he did not know what had come upon him to think that James was back. Remus always thought with logic, and with prudence. The man was known to have a head that forethought every situation. Had it all become too much for Remus? Had he felt so sick of this war that he finally snapped?

But nevertheless, Sirius would not let him live on false hope, he would not let Remus's heart swell with happiness, because he knew that when the truth would approach Remus, he would be heart broken, and Sirius would not let that happen

"James is dead," he said tonelessly, though emotions rumbled inside the pit of his stomach. "He's dead Remus."

"No!" said Remus spinning around to face him. "It is him!"

"Look Remus, Merlin knows I want him back too -" but he did not get to finish his reasoning as Remus had cut him off impatiently, which was not a trait that Remus was known for. No, Moony was the impatient side of him, Moony was the rash part of him, and he could see that the werewolf was taking over.

"Think about it Sirius let's say that it is a Death Eater impersonating him, how would they get the ingredients for the Polyjuice Potion? If James was really dead then no part of him should exist-"

"There are other ways to take the form of another!" Sirius countered back.

"But how would they transform into James stag form! Can you find a contradiction to that Sirius?" Remus said counteracting him in a heart beat.

Sirius shook his head slowly in denial. Although he wished it was true, although he had begged night and day in his cell at Azkaban that his friend was among the living once more, he knew it would never happen, never. And what made him so sure, so certain, that James was dead, was the day his eyes lay upon his dead friend. And Sirius could never erase that day from his memory, no matter how much he had tried to evade it. He couldn't. It haunted him night and day, taunting him, reminding him, how he failed in saving James and Lily.

Flashback

"Come on! Come on!" Sirius Black urged his motorbike to move faster as his heart beat rapidly beneath his ribs. Although the night air he flew in was cool and breezy, Sirius was sweating and he was feeling hot with anticipation.

Under his breath, Sirius cursed the Ministry for the law they had passed. It would have made it a lot easier to reach Godrics' Hollow if it were not for the document that prohibited the use of apparition. It was easier for the Aurors' to capture Death Eaters if they didn't pop away as soon as they arrived. But Sirius, who was known to be a rule breaker, could have easily disregarded those rules if it were not for the wards put around the area, obstructing anyone from apparating there. And Sirius could not run from the apparition spot to Godrics' Hollow. It would take too long. No, his means of traveling was much faster, and more sufficient, but to Sirius, this ride on his motorbike felt like it would never end.

…

Spotting Lily and James's house, Sirius descended on his motorbike, going down dangerously fast, but he did not care. Lily, Harry, and James lives were at stake.

Landing with a thump on the ground, Sirius jumped off of his bike, not even bothering to pick it up when it fell to the side. He ran, ran as fast as his long legs could take him, his only aim to get his friends and his godson safely out of that house. He would kill the little traitor later. But as he moved closer and closer to the house, he slowed down unconsciously, his eyes never averting what little was left of that house.

Everything around him seemed to be distant, and faraway…Everything surrounding him appeared to be slothful…the swaying of the trees…the drops of rain falling to the ground…even the howl of the wind in his ears seemed to be slower…

How long he stood their staring at the house he did not know…how long he disbelievingly fixed his eyes on it, waiting for anyone to come out of was a complete mystery to him, but only when the lightning struck did he seem to arouse from his incredible stare. And suddenly, everything seemed to be more hateful around him, more vicious…more violent. The wind screamed into his ears as it blew across his handsome face …the trees looked menacing and ominous around him as they swayed dangerously…the rain that fell upon his head felt heavier…and a tear escaped his sorrowful grey eyes.

"No."

Once again, he set off towards the house, sprinting, and stumbling into the doorway of his best friends' house. The door lay flat across the floor; apparently, the intruder had sent the door off its hinges, but that did not cause Sirius to chock on his breath…

It was James dead body, lying by the stairs, his hazel eyes wide with fear, clutching his heart.

"James…" Sirius said huskily, taking slow steps toward his friend.

It was his entire fault.

His legs shaking furiously under him, Sirius fell to his knees by James holding his friends hand.

"James?" he called croakily. "Come on Prongs. Wake up mate. Wake up." He now said, refusing to believe that James was dead…but James did not wake…

Stubbornly, Sirius pulled out his wand, pointing at James right at James's chest, trying to revive him, but no spell had any affect. "ENERVERTA! ENERVATE! ENERVATE!" he yelled, but James only stared back at him…

Throwing away his useless wand, he grabbed James by his robes and shook him hard. "JAMES! JAMES! Come on mate! Wake up!"

Sirius slapped him hard on the face, it always woke James up when they were at Hogwarts…but as his hand contacted his face…he could feel the coldness in it…the death in it.

Sirius's face turned chalk white, and his arms trembled as he laid James, once again on the floor. His face twisted into one of great sorrow and he laid his head on James chest as he a painful sob escaped him.

"I swear James I never knew! I never knew Wormtail would do this to you! I never meant for this to happen! Never! But I'll get him for what he's done…I'll get Peter …Oh god James, forgive me, forgive me James!"

James made no retort, and Sirius felt more sobs overcome him, his body shaking furiously with them.

"The plan was never supposed to turn out this way, it all went wrong Prongs, all wrong, and Wormtail lied to us! He fooled us into believing that Remus was the spy. Moony would never-" but he stopped his mumbling and apologize as his animagus senses kicked in.

Was that a child crying?

Another wail confirmed his supposition, and immediately, he raised his tear strained face.

"Harry."

And that was all that was needed to bring him back to his feet; his godson. Skipping three staircases at a time, he reached the second landing, to the room right across, the nursery, Harrys' room. Walking with swift strides, he reached the door which was, like the one downstairs, also sent flying off its hinges, and as soon as he entered, his eyes set on a woman with fiery red hair, sprawled on the ground. James wife...His godsons' mother…his friend…she was dead…she was gone too…

"Lily…Lily?" he whispered, turning her body around, with shaking hands, and something struck in his heart as he saw her frightened, emerald eyes, which used to be glow with life….but now…it was dull…it was dead.

"I'm sorry Lily, I'm so sorry," he sobbed, looking into her eyes though they did not look back into his. "So sorry…I swear…I swear I'll take care of Harry, Lily, just like you made me promise…" he said, and just like he did to James, he laid Lily done, brushing the hair away from her petrified face…

Looking up, Sirius took in the room around him searching for Harry. Harrys' nursery was a disaster. The bed seemed to find its way to the end of the room, the mattress torn, chunks of it here and there. Harrys' toys, which he cherished so much, were strewn everywhere, scorched and ripped apart. The cupboard, which stood at the corner of the room, was now flat on the floor, shattered pieces of wood everywhere. In short, it was in ruins.

What happened in here?

Transforming into Padfoot, he sniffed the ground searching for Harrys' familiar sent. As dogs could pick up some ones smell quickly, Sirius found Harrys' sent with no trouble. He was under the cupboard. Panicking that Harry was hurt badly, Sirius altered back into a human. Reaching in his robes pocket for his wand, he found that it wasn't there.

"Damn it!" Sirius cursed in frustration as he remembered that his wand was downstairs.

Turning around, ready to sprint down for his wand, Sirius spotted Lilys' wand on the ground, and instantaneously, he picked it up, but as soon as he touched the wand, Sirius's eyes widened with shock as he felt the wands' sorrowful magic.

Did the wand know that it had lost its' owner?

Sirius shook his head. There was no time to ponder on meaningless thoughts.

"Wingardeum Leviosa!" he cried, pointing at the cupboard which floated to the ceiling revealing beneath it Harry, who was under his cot;

And with no further ado, Sirius rushed to his godson, throwing the cot aside, and immediately picked Harry into his arms. Looking him over, Sirius was shocked to find his godson not harmed at all, except for the lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

"Thank god you're alright," he said whipping the blood trailing down his scar. "Thank god…"

But Harry was not paying any attention to Sirius like he always did when he came over. His godson was looking over his shoulder, his small arms clutching onto Sirius's robes. Then Harry looked back at Sirius, looking at him with questioning emerald eyes, as though asking him, what was wrong with his mother. But Sirius refused to give him an answer…to say it out loud…once and for all…Instead, he held Harry close and buried his face with his robes.

He would not let Harry see this…He did not want him to have this memory.

Still holding a shivering Harry close, Sirius walked out of the room, but picked up a tattered blanket on his way out. Slowly he walked in the hall filed with Lily, James and Harrys' pictures, which were hung on the wall, all over the floor. It seemed that only minutes ago he was sitting with his friend and his wife, chatting, laughing, doing what they usually did…How could they be gone like that? so quickly, so ruthlessly? …How?

Sirius walked down the steps, and held Harry tighter as he saw James body once again. Reaching the end of the stairs, Sirius picked up his own wand, and as though Harry felt James physical presence, he squirmed in Sirius's arms, but Sirius kept his hold on him, refusing to let him see his fathers' dead body.

And with one last look at his child-hood friend, Sirius left the house with nothing but sorrows and pains. And it hurt, it hurt to see the people he loved dead, the gap in his heart ached him…and he did not want to feel pains…he could not live on like this…with the guilt…the pains…Sirius could not handle it.

Realizing that Harry was shivering against the cold wind, he rapped the tattered blanket, which Sirius just noticed that he was clinging on to it, around Harry, who looked again at him again with those inquiring eyes.

How was he supposed to tell a child that he lost his parents? How was he to explain to his godson that his mother and father would never come back?

Although nobody thought of him so, Sirius had a soft heart, he didn't have the guts to tell that to his godson…averting his grey eyes from his godson, Sirius moved to his motorbike, and put Harry down on the grass to pick it up.

He'd drop Harry at Remus's cottage, and then, then he would avenge for James. He was going to kill Peter.

But when he turned around to pickup Harry from the ground, he found that he was missing. Panic aroused in his heart, and he spun around in search of Harry.

" 's alright Sirius, I've go' Harry," sniffed a voice.

Sirius sighed with relief as he Hagrids' towering figure spoke.

"You scared me," he said shakily.

"Sorry 'bout tha', but Professor Dumbledore sent me 'ere to take little Harry."

"What? No Hagrid, I'm his godfather, I'm going to take him."

"Can't do tha' Sirius. I've go' direct orders ta take 'em straight to his aunts' and uncles' house."

"Those muggles!" Sirius raged. "You can't Hagrid, they won't want to take Harry! Let me take him, I'm his godfather."

"I can't Sirius," Hagrid said walking away, but when his eyes set on the house, Hagrid stood, rotted on the spot. "Merlins beard! What happened 'ere?"

Sirius shut his eyes tightly and looked down. It was even painful to think about it.

"Lily and James? Where are they Sirius?"

"They…they…" He couldn't say it, he couldn't.

Suddenly, he felt himself being pulled into a one-armed, rib cracking hug. " 'm sorry Sirius," sobbed Hagrid. "C-can't believe it's Lily and James!"

Sirius didn't even bother to reply as Hagrid pulled away…he was too shocked…to grief stricken…and all he wanted was his heart to be at piece…he didn't want the heavy weight of guilt.

And the both of them stood there quietly…not uttering words to each other, until Hagrid finally wiped the tears away from his stained face, and sniffed.

"I-I'd better ge' going then…Goodbye Sirius, take care of yourself."

"Wait!"

"I already told ya Sirius I can't give Harry ta ya."

"No," Sirius said quietly. He knew how stubborn Hagrid was when it came to Dumbledores' orders, and for the life of him, he had no heart left to argue. He would take his godson away later…after he had finished Wormtail off. "Take my bike."

"No, I can't do tha' Sirius, you love tha' thing!" Hagrid replied shaking his head.

"No. I won't be needing it anymore," he said quietly, an odd, malevolent glint in his eyes. "Take it," he said pushing the keys into Hagrid's large hands.

"Alright," Hagrid said swinging his huge, dolphin sized feet, over the bike. "I'll give it back to ya later."

Sirius nodded his head silently, looking at Harry, who was oddly quiet throughout this whole time. Hagrid turned the key, and the engine roared as it soared through the air, and not until he couldn't see them anymore did Sirius transform into a dog, bounding the streets, in search of Wormtail, trying to find a trail of his sent.

He was going to kill Wormtail. He was going to avenge for what he had done.

End flashback

A.N: Take a moment of your time and hit that review button because it would really mean a lot to me! Please:D