The characters, places etc belong to Squaresoft, I'm just writing this to avoid doing school stuff. Just... don't tell my teachers...

Chapter three: Time doesn't make existing any easier.

-

They didn't speak much for the rest of the day, or what Vincent considered the day, ending when he started nodding off. Cloud had slept most of the time, his fever had broken and the Turk had heard his stomach growling in hunger.

The boy was sitting up inside the tank, leaning against the glass and tapping it nervously with his fingers when Vincent woke from dreams of the past. As it hadn't been bad enough living it once, now he had to see his mistakes all over again, and then wake up to this... with a sigh the older man opened his eyes. "Morning, Cloud."

"Hi Vincent..."

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah... hungry, though. And if I don't get out of here soon I'm going to go crazy..."

Vincent almost smiled but grew serious again when he looked at the boy. Cloud had a strange, pained look in his eyes, like a caged animal. "Cloud?"

"I have to get out... they have to let me out... I... I hate this place, it's too dark here... let me out! Let me out!"

Vincent was startled by the screaming and stood up, taking a few steps back when Cloud suddenly jumped up and started hitting and clawing the smooth glass surface. "Let me out!"

"Cloud! Stop it, you'll hurt yourself!" The Turk ordered, moving so that they could see each other's faces. "Stop! You don't want to give Hojo the satisfaction of breaking you, do you?"

It would have worked for him, and it worked for Cloud. The boy calmed down and just leaned against the glass, breathing heavily and sobbing. Vincent pressed his human hand against Cloud's and his forehead against the glass. "Calm down. We'll get out of here, one way or another. And we'll get Hojo back, believe me."

"...promise?" Cloud whispered, eyes closed. Vincent nodded.

"Yes."

The goons came in later, fed their prisoners, and even let Cloud out to be taught. The boy was first a bit shaky on his legs, but felt better after Vincent lent him his cape to keep warm. That revealed the iron collar around the Turk's neck, and Cloud lifted a shaky hand up to touch it. Vincent fought back the urge to back away from the touch and closed his eyes.

"What's this?"

"Hojo put it on when he woke me. I suppose it's how he controls me."

"Can you get it off?" Cloud now stood on his toes, frowning as he looked at the collar. Vincent opened his eyes and shrugged.

"I haven't found any kind of lock in it. It is a solid ring." The Turk explained. Cloud backed away and pulled the cloak tightly around himself. Frowning, he walked around a bit, trying to keep himself warm. Vincent stood still and just watched the boy. He had tried, had turned the collar around, pulled at it, tried to twist it, searched every millimeter thoroughly with his fingertips, and achieved nothing. He believed the locking mechanism was inside the iron ring, and Hojo was probably the only one with the knowledge of how to open it.

Cloud walked back to the Turk and stopped, looking up at him. "So. What are you going to teach me?"

There were to be no Mako-tests or other experiments while Hojo was gone, so for the next couple of weeks Cloud was let out every day. Vincent didn't waste time but started to teach the boy everything he knew of unarmed combat, and what he could teach of guns without having one at hand. He also made Cloud do some exercises that built up his muscles and body strength, and taught him the basics of meditation and how to use your mind like a weapon. The boy sucked it all in, eager to learn anything and everything. And Vincent felt like he had to teach the boy everything he possibly could before the professor's return. Hojo would meddle with his teachings, that the Turk didn't doubt.

They were both feeling much better, on a psychological level, now that they could actually touch each other to make sure that the other wasn't just a hallucination. They became friends and even made jokes about the scientist and his assistants. Cloud had woken Vincent up a couple of times with his ravings, screaming to be let out, or just crying in his sleep, but that had happened less and less lately. Vincent's depression eased a bit, and even though he still hungered for revenge and just wanted to join Lucretia, life didn't seem as bad as it could have been. He had learned to ignore the strange whisperings, as they still made no sense or hadn't become any louder. Lucretia's voice came and went, but never spoke more than a word or two.

The worst part was knowing that this peace wouldn't last long. Hojo would be back any day, skulking around the lab all of the time, and there wouldn't be a moment's peace.

Then the professor returned, and didn't waste any time in starting the experiments. He kept Vincent in the room during them, forcing the Turk to watch just what he did to Cloud. Having to watch that without being able to do anything was bad enough, but Vincent could so easily imagine Lucretia or Sephiroth, the son he'd never seen, in the boy's place. Screaming, crying, being tortured, just for the sake of science and curiosity.

And it brought back memories.

Hojo would spend a week or two in this laboratory, then return to Midgar for a while, leaving the two prisoners in the care of his assistants. During those breaks Vincent taught Cloud everything he knew, and not just about fighting anymore; he'd been something of a strategic genius, and one of the best trackers, and with the help of a self-made chessboard and tracking the vermin in the lab he was turning Cloud into one as well.

The chess games seemed more like fun than learning, but they helped, and Cloud developed fast, to the Turk's delight. The exercises had strengthened him considerably, so much that he managed to make a crack in his glass prison during one of his ravings. It left him with a few broken fingers, but those healed fast, and the knowledge that the prison wasn't completely unbreakable.

Even though Vincent could barely stand having to watch the sick experiments, he still preferred those to the rare occasions when Hojo would drag Cloud away through the door he and the assistants used. The Turk had no idea what went on during those long hours when he was left alone, but he always feared that the boy wouldn't return. Perhaps it would have been kinder for Cloud if he died, but Vincent didn't want to think about having to stay there alone. But, every time, the goons dragged the unconscious, cut and bruised boy back to the tank. The Turk would ask what had happened, but Cloud never remembered.

Hojo's experiments left them both mentally, and Cloud also physically, in pieces. Sometimes it took the time that the professor was away for them to pull themselves together. But even after Hojo moved the boy to another tank, after noticing the crack, and after the assistants started to keep a closer eye on them Vincent still assured Cloud that one day they'd be free.

Vincent wasn't sure how much time exactly had passed, but he was sure that it had been several months since Hojo had woken him up. The professor had left them again for a while, and the Turk was wandering around the too familiar laboratory, waiting for Cloud to wake up and for the assistants to come and let the boy out. This time by himself always drove Vincent into deep and dark thoughts, brightened only by the detailed visuals of what he'd do to Hojo if he had the chance.

Sighing, the Turk sat down in front of the computer screens. Back when he had been in Midgar, he had been able to hack into almost any computer in less than ten minutes. Technology had developed during the years of his sleep, but in the last few months he had caught up with it, and was sure that with a little more time he could break into Hojo's files and find out exactly what the scientist had been up to. He had read most of the books Hojo had written, but as he had suspected, all the information wasn't there, only the things that wouldn't discriminate the scientist in any way.

'A little more time... as if I'm ever going to leave here...' Vincent thought, lowering his chin to touch the cold iron. He lifted his hands to hover over the keyboard and frowned. A few weeks ago he had seen Hojo typing his password, only from the corner of his eye, but he had seen the order and the whereabouts of the letters. Now all he had to do was figure it out. There were different passwords and codes to the files themselves, but the Turk was confident that once he was in, there would be no stopping him.

He had learned to use his claw almost as well as if it was a real hand, only that the sharp tips left small holes to the keys if pressed too hard. Hojo didn't mind, though, he seemed to be amused by the fact that Vincent was trying to break into the computers and wasn't succeeding.

The Turk growled at the image of the grinning scientist and punched the keyboard. More determined to find out what was in the files, he started to try out different letter combinations. He had already tried all the words he could imagine with the locations of the keys Hojo had used, and ended up with nothing.

Vincent spent the next two hours meticulously trying every combination possible, and was interrupted by an assistant entering the room. The man didn't even bother to tell him to get away from the computers, just shook his head. "Still at it, slave?" A second assistant came in and gave him a bowl of soup and a piece of bread, and Vincent ate it quickly, watching as the men opened the tank and let Cloud out to eat. The first one left the room but the second waited until they finished and took the bowls with him.

Cloud stretched and yawned, rubbing his eyes when they were alone again. Vincent turned back to the computer and continued. Soon, from the corner of his eye, he saw the boy get up and walk toward the computers.

"Are you sure he hasn't changed the password?" Cloud suggested quietly and sat at the edge of the desk. Vincent shrugged and opened the buckles of his cape with one hand, red eyes still staring at the screen.

"He probably did, but it's a way to pass the time..."

Cloud took the cape and wrapped it around himself, whispering his thanks. Hojo and his goons wouldn't let him have the cape or anything else in the tank, probably for the fear that he'd manage to kill himself with it. Vincent always gave him the cape when he got out, so that the boy would be warm at least for a part of his time.

After watching the Turk quietly for a few minutes, Cloud opened his mouth. "Could you teach me to do that?"

They spent most of the day with the computers, although Vincent told Cloud to do his exercises at one point, and tested the boy about things he'd taught earlier. After a few chess matches and a small snack the goons locked Cloud back in the tank and left the prisoners to sleep.

The blond soon dozed off but Vincent couldn't sleep. For an hour or so he tried, but every time he closed his eyes he saw Lucretia, as if she had been standing or sitting right in front of him. With a sigh the Turk got up and walked back to the computers.

They were on all of the time, and Hojo had decided that the screens should glow with the lovely shade of Mako green. Vincent hated that colour but sat in the chair anyway and started to type again. He was sure that the password wasn't the same anymore, but he couldn't think of a better way to pass his time, knowing that he couldn't attack the assistants, even if he tried to.

Midnight came and went, and still Vincent sat and stared at the screen. He had decided to stop for the night about an hour ago, but always wanted to try one more time. This time it paid off. He didn't even realize it at first, so used to the window blinking red for the wrong password, that the light blue welcoming message blinked on and off for fifteen seconds before the Turk realized he had made it. Sleep left him immediately and he sat up, soon clicking his way into the project files. They were protected with a password but he managed to hack into them through a detour, and soon file after file opened on the screen, blocking out the green light completely. So thrilled at his success that he almost let out a yell, Vincent shook his head to clear it and started to read.

Soon he had browsed through all the files and closed the ones that were of no use or interest to him, and divided the rest into three: Sephiroth, Cloud and Vincent. Or, as Hojo had named them, Specimens S, C and V of Project Jenova. Vincent knew that he wouldn't have time to read them all thoroughly, but he could still learn a lot. He started with Sephiroth, as he was anxious to know what had happened those 25 years ago.

/...don't read it.../

His head came up and Vincent looked around instinctively, although he knew that her voice was just in his head. "Lucretia?"

/...don't.../

The quiet whispers in the back of his head grew in volume, and he could almost make out words. The voice, or maybe there was many as one, was chanting, urging him to do it. It was like a command from Hojo, he couldn't object it, and didn't really want to. "I'm sorry, Lucretia..."

Three hours and numerous revelations later he closed the last of the S-files and leaned back, shaking his head. Hojo had known that Sephiroth was Vincent's, he had known all along. But the scientist had pretended to be the boy's father, and after experimenting on the child for years, beginning before birth, he had given Sephiroth over to president Shin-Ra and his Soldier-program. That had been the first time the boy had ever met someone who didn't work at the laboratory. He had soon risen to the rank of Soldier First Class, and was made General before turning 20. Vincent covered his eyes with his human hand, mourning that Lucretia's son had never had anything like a normal childhood. The woman herself had been reduced to Specimen L, a footnote in one of the files. Those had revealed another one of Hojo's lies... Lucretia hadn't died giving birth to Sephiroth. Almost, but she had survived. The professor hadn't paid any more attention to the woman after that, only noted that she 'was gone'. But did that mean she had died later, or left the mansion?

Woken from his thoughts when the clock on the screen blinked from 4:59 to 5:00, Vincent sat back up and opened the C-files. He looked quickly at the sleeping boy before rubbing his eyes and starting on the first one.

The numbers on the clock were 7:15 and his eyes hurt something awful when Vincent finished the last document concerning Cloud. If Hojo had had a clear goal with Sephiroth, knowing exactly what he wanted to achieve, and managing it, Cloud had been the exact opposite, just a fun project whom to test new, interesting things on. The Turk wasn't a scientist so he couldn't possibly say how much damage the professor had done to the boy, but could guess that a normal life was something that would never happen to the blond. Cloud didn't show it on the outside like he did, with his claw, but Hojo had messed up something profound in him. From the notes Vincent had found that the professor didn't have much idea what would happen either, but was 'most interested to find out', even if it took decades.

"Cloud, I'm so sorry..." the Turk muttered and, with a sigh, started to read what had been done to him. When the assistants came in with their breakfast, two hours later, he was still staring at the screen in shock.

This had NOT been a good morning. "Really, what was your first clue..." Cloud muttered sarcastically to himself. He was sitting back against the farthest side of the tank, legs pulled against chest and chin resting on the knees. His eyes were still wide with fear, he hadn't managed to keep them closed. His thin body was shaking, and he rocked gently back and forth, trying to think of something else.

Something else than waking up to the assistant's raged shouting. Something else than the shocked look on Vincent's face. Something else than seeing the men drag the Turk up from the chair, beating him all the time. Something else than the splatters of blood, and Vincent's utter silence, the look in his red eyes when he was dragged away from the laboratory.

"No no no, don't leave me alone..." Cloud whispered, covering his head with shaking hands. He hated this, hated the panic attacks, hated being weak like this, but hate wasn't enough to make them go away. "No no no no..." he repeated again and again, pausing only to sob every once in a while. "Vincent please come back, don't leave me alone, don't, no no no no..."

He'd been as much of a guinea pig as Cloud was now. That hadn't come as much of a surprise, Hojo had told him that he was nothing more than that. The scientist had messed up something deep inside him, as well. That was disturbing, but something he could live with. There were two things that had hit Vincent so badly that he had just frozen to the chair. The assistants had come, they'd dragged him away from the computer, away from the laboratory, away from Cloud. They had beaten him senseless and thrown him into a small, dark, empty room, where there was no sound except for his own breathing and the beats of his heart, no light beside the soft glow of his own eyes.

Nothing to concentrate on but his own thoughts.

Except... were they even his? Hojo had infested his mind, made his head into a playground for four demons who would take control over him if woken. Vincent had been asleep so long, had woken into such a nightmare that he couldn't be sure anymore WHO thought the thoughts in his head. How much of his reality was actually real? How much had the demons made up of it? Hojo's notes had said that he suspected that the entities would have more power over a sleeping person than one who was awake. That had been one reason for the long sleep. Another experiment, to see who would wake up.

Am I still me?

Did Lucretia really love me? Or did she just want my seed?

Did I sleep all of the 25 years, or did one of the demons wander the world as me? Using my body? Do these clothes, this look, belong to one of them? My hand, the claw?

The whispering voice, is it one of them, or me?

What would happen if I'd turn into one now?

Could I escape?

Or does Hojo's collar keep me a prisoner, no matter what or who I am?

That was the other thing, the collar. The locking device was inside the ring, and could only be opened with a remote control, one that Hojo kept in a safe. In Midgar. The professor and his assistants carried small devices that abled them to control him through the collar. As long as he wore it, he was a prisoner. And even if he managed to escape the mansion, he couldn't get far. Unless the collar was reprogrammed or someone with a controlling device was with him, he couldn't leave. The collar would send a signal through all the nerves of his body, freezing them, and him, quite efficiently. He couldn't move.

'I'm a prisoner. Prisoner of my own mind, my own body, this mansion...' Vincent sighed and lifted the sharp claws to the soft skin of his throat. It would be so easy to just push them through the skin, tear open the windpipe, crumple down to a mess of blood and flesh and bone.

/...don't.../

"Lucretia..." the Turk sobbed and shook his head. "I just want to be with you."

/...don't, Vincent.../ Her voice quieted but he could still feel her spirit near. Was it even her, or one of the demons, posing as her?

/Wouldn't you like to know?/ A low, menacing but amused rumble came from deep within him. Vincent screamed, jumped up and started hitting the closest wall

"Leave me alone! LEAVE ME ALONE!" But the voice just grew into a booming laughter that echoed in his mind and filled his head.

Cloud looked up when the door opened, and moaned in fear when he saw Hojo. The scientist walked to the tank, followed by an assistant. The boy tried to hide from the look Hojo was giving him, one that crawled under his skin.

"When did he last eat?"

"Not a bite since we found the other at the computer. We had to force-feed and plug him in yesterday."

Cloud twitched at the words, still bruised and sick from the treatment. When they hadn't managed to make him eat much, the assistants had connected one of the tubes to his back, feeding him through that. Usually they only used it while the tank was full, which made the procedure less painful.

"Hmm, yes. And the other one?"

"In the dark room. An hour in there, he was already screaming." The assistant smiled at that. Cloud felt his heart go cold. He had been in the dark room once, the experience had been worse than ten experiments. There was no light, no noise, only blackness and whatever clawed its way out of your mind.

"How much did he read of the files?"

"As far as we know, he managed to open everything, but he couldn't have read them all, there wasn't enough time."

"So he just picked out the ones useful to him." Hojo's attention was now fully on the assistant, who wasn't smiling anymore.

"Sir, I don't think he'd know--"

"He was a TURK you moron! It was his JOB to know what's important! Why the hell didn't you idiots keep a closer eye on him?"

"S-sir, we... we didn't think he'd actually manage to hack in, sir, I mean, the password changes automatically every day--"

"And yet he cracked it and read my files!" Hojo growled and turned to look at his prisoner again. "Specimen C. Any suggestions on how we'll punish your curious teacher?"

Cloud shook his head, afraid to look at the professor in the eye.

"Considering his stupid trick made me angry. And when I'm angry, I tend to do things I'd normally not do. Things that are not nice at all."

The boy finally dared to look all the way up, to Hojo's pale face and cruel smile.

A.N: Ok, I've never hacked into a computer or anything like that, so that bit's probably crap. Not that I'm saying that the rest isn't crap, too... Please, leave a review!

EXTRA:

Hojo opened the tank's door and wandered back to his desk. Cloud stretched, stood up and stepped out of the glass prison. Walking on his toes, rubbing his arms to keep warm, he followed the professor. Standing behind the white-clad man, Cloud cracked his knuckles, put his weight on his left leg and lifted the right one.

-KICK!!-

With a satisfied smirk, the blond boy sat in the corner of the room and pulled out the latest issue of Science Today from the bookshelf while Hojo rubbed his injured -ahem- pride.