A.N: First of all, I apologize for the very long wait, but I've been traveling and I couldn't get my hands long enough to actually get to write down a chapter, but now I'm back to my home sweet home, and hopefully you won't have to wait that long for the next chapter.

Ever since I've been back, I've went back to my read Convincing Harry so that I could you know, get back on track, but when I've read it all I could think of was...'This is horrible! This is short! How could I have written such a thing?' And well, from that day onward, I started revising each chapter. Correcting grammar and spelling mistakes, re-writing each chapter again. I have added details that weren't there before, but nothing major in the plot has changed except in chapter 4, at the very end, so you might want to go back and have a look at it...but hey! it's your choice...so with no furthur ado!

Convincing Harry

By Abay

-Chapter-Seven-

The Suffocating Pains

Enjoy! ;)

"James would never blame you for what you never knew, for what you had no control over!" Remus lessened his tightened grip slightly, and his features softened. "Sirius, he's…he's just realized that Lily's dead, and he…he…thinks Harry's dead too, I tried to explain things to him, but he won't listen to me Sirius, he looks so lost, and I need your help Padfoot. James needs your help."

…

Sirius swallowed hard, and rubbed the temple of his head, which was throbbing him painfully.

He did not know what to think, nor did he know what to do…What if all this was a dream? …a dream that he would awake from and find himself back in Grimmauld Place? He thought fearfully, but now, he found his thoughts of dread were turning into never ending questions which were making him starve for answers.

Had James changed? Would James forgive him for his mistake? Would he even remember?

The inquiries did not end there, and they wouldn't have come to an end if it were not for the pained voice that reached Sirius's ears. It was a scream, a cry, a voice that wavered with agony, misery and woe, and at hearing those very words, Sirius settled on a choice.

"WHY DID YOU NOT TAKE ME WITH THEM? WHY!" The voice let out yet another angry yell, and then a sound of something being shattered filled his ears.

"WHY ME! WHY MY WIFE! MY SON! WHY!"

Sirius split to a run towards the door, ready to bolt it open, but his old friend was ahead of him. Remus had run to James aid as soon as he heard his fraught scream, but Sirius was too stricken to move at first. His legs had seemed to be glued to the spot.

James sat, fidgeting on the couch, running a shaking hand through his hair, and down his sweaty face. His heart was thumping wildly on his chest…his brain felt as though it was being tugged out of his scull…every short, sharp breath he took seemed to pierce pain through his lungs. The pain was so excruciating. It was unbearable.

He ran a hand down his neck, rubbing it, trying to ease the severe soreness in it. His throat was burning, and it was painful to sob, to cry, to let out a laden scream of anguish. The smoldering feeling in his throat seemed to impede him from letting any howl of pain and anger escape…and he wanted to do that so much…he wanted to scream…to hurt…. He did not want the pains to linger inside of him…but everything was burning in him… and his sorrows seemed to be keeping his body ablaze…flaming…and it hurt, it hurt him so much.

James took in a deep, shuddering breath with difficulty, clutched his chest and started to rock himself backwards and forward again. He could not stay still. He could not breathe properly. He could not see…he was plummeting down into darkness…further and further…and the more he plunged down into darkness, the more he felt the distance between him, Lily and Harry.

They're gone, whispered a voice in the back of his head. They're gone forever…

James back arched with pain, and he clutched his head, trying to block out that voice. Then, he screamed like never before, and he heard his voice wavering ever so weakly.

"WHY DID YOU NOT TAKE ME WITH THEM? WHY! WHY ME! WHY MY WIFE! MY SON! WHY!"

Leaning forward, James laid his elbows on his knees and held his head with his hands, taking in short gasps of breath. He stared now in front of him, at the innocent goblet made out of glass which was gleaming ever so merrily at him, and James felt his resentment towards that goblet…he envied it for being void of all feeling and thoughts. He felt angry that it did not share the pains he did…he felt covetous because it did not go through what he had gone through, and he screamed, he yelled, venting all his anger at the goblet.

He could not stand it!

Getting to his feet, James picked the goblet up and threw it with all his might at the wall, and though he heard and saw it shatter before his very eyes, James was not satisfied. It did not cry out in pain like he wanted it to! It did not scream in pain like he was!

James pulled on his collar, and took in more shuddering breaths. It was hot in here. The room seemed to be closing around him. His head was spinning. This place held so many memories with him of Lily, and of his son, and he did not want to remember them. It was too painful to remember. He wanted to forget! Forget it all!

But the image of Lily and Harry were engraved within his eyelids, and it hurt his sole so deeply to know that he would not see them again… Never….

The walls were suffocating him…squeezing the air out of him….he needed to leave….he needed to get out….

Walking towards the door, he clumsily bumped painfully into a chair, but did not seem to notice that his foot was throbbing painfully...he was too numb...too shocked to comprehend what was going on around him. But as soon as he grabbed the door handle a hand grabbed him by the forearm and almost mechanically, he tried to wrench it away, but the figure- Remus no doubt- would not let go.

"Let go of me!" he tried to hiss, but his voice was nothing but hoarse. "Let go Re--"

His voice seemed to shut down when he had spun around to face whom he thought was Remus, and seeing the figure who had grabbed him, he felt his numb feeling flare into white, hot blazing anger, and he felt the need to hurt again, the need to make the person in front of him feel pain as he did.

"You!" he spat vehemently.

"James? …" Sirius, a man whom he thought he would never come to hate, said with on odd look in his eyes...almost disbelieving...transfigured by the sight of him.

"Get away from me!" he roared fiercely, pushing Sirius roughly, causing him to stumble backwards, and breaking him from his transfigured gaze. "You lied to me! I trusted you and you lied to me!"

"What--I--" Sirius looked at him, his grey eyes oddly hollow and sunken, with a shadow of darkness behind them. James could not remember Sirius bearing that look in his eyes yesterday? ...was it yesterday that he had last seen him? But this mattered not now...this was only furthermore proof of his betrayal...that darkness in his eyes was proof that he had joined the ranks of the Dark Order...He and Peter together... They manipulated him, fooled him, and now these were the consequences of his unending trust towards them. The death of his loved ones.

"How could you Sirius?" he said as waves of fury overwhelmed him. "I trusted you—"

"James!" he heard Remus call though his voice sounded oddly far-off. "This isn't what—"

"I trusted you!" he continued, his voice rising to overcome Remus's. "And you betrayed that trust! You handed us over to Voldemort!"

"I never did James! I swear to you!" Sirius said his voice pleading, his eyes locking within his own, and then he saw something emerge from behind the dark shadows of those grey eyes...a brotherly love that was familiar to him. And at seeing that, James felt the hot blazing anger decrees little by little. "You were…you are like a brother to me James. You're the family I never had, and I would never, never…"

Sirius hand reached out a shaky hand and squeezed his shoulder. "I was prepared to die for you James, to give my life to you, to Lily, to Harry!"

At the mention of his wife and son, James blinked, and then remembered. His wounds were still fresh, and to forget that someone close to his heart was gone was not an unusual sensation to one who had lost a loved one. It was not unusual to wake up in the morning and expect to find that someone to be downstairs, and then remember that they would never be… And when your awareness bites back, the feeling, the pain, would double tenfold, and that was how James felt at this precise moment.

"Don't you touch me!" he roared, slapping Sirius's hand away.

Sirius' hand fell limply to his side, and he stared back at him with a look in his eyes that were hurt so deeply. But James did not care. Let him feel pain! He thought. Let him drown in it!

"James, you have to hear Sirius out!" Remus said his voice desperate.

"And why should I?" he said ruthlessly, his eyes narrowed, still staring at Sirius with disgust and resentment.

"Because I never betrayed you…" Sirius's fraught and hollow voice came.

Lies; these were all lies. One after the other; he could see know, see how he was manipulated. The scorching anger burned James throat now, and that was when he snapped. "LIAR!" he roared in a fit of rage that had reached its limit, and the emotions of agony, fury, distress, and vehemence clashed together inside of him, burning, infecting him to the core of his magic.

Then he erupted.

It was though a hurricane had blown over them causing the furniture to fly across the room, breaking into little bits, shattering into useless pieces of scrap, and if Remus had not quickly cast a shield around the three of them, then they would have surely perished in this merciless gust of anger and torment.

"Calm down James!" Remus yelled, fearful of the extremes his old friend would gradually reach.

But James paid him no heed, instead he ran at Sirius, pushing past Remus who was trying to stop him, and shoved Sirius so hard that he fell crashing into the ground. Then, he struck. James punched and hit every part of him, but did not seem to notice that Sirius was not fighting back at all; he could not even hear Remus shouting at him, trying to pull him off Sirius, but he kept on hitting Sirius until finally, his hands moved towards his throat, ready to squeeze the breath out of him…to kill…to take away his life…just like he had taken away Lily's and Harry's.

"JAMES, NO!" A pair of hands seized him from the back and threw him off Sirius, letting him fall backwards. He tried to get up again, but Remus seemed to cast a spell on him, gluing him onto the floor, and no matter how much he struggled, he could not break free.

"James…" Remus said, panting heavily. "It-It was Peter…Sirius never…he never knew…Sirius never knew Peter was the spy…"

"That's not true!" he yelled, his blood pounding against him, his eyes still gazing hungrily at Sirius, ready to strike again. "He and Peter kept telling me that you were the spy! They convinced me and Lily that you like all other werewolves joined Greyback in serving Voldemort!"

"No James!" Remus said, shaking his head. "Don't you see? Peter fooled you and Sirius. Peter let you believe that I was the spy. Peter betrayed your trust. Sirius never knew…and it was too late when he did realize it…"

James said nothing…He did not know what to believe anymore…He could not take in what he was being told…It was too much…too much to grasp, too much to comprehend. He turned his gaze away from Remus's to Sirius's face- which was bloody and bruised- and he was surprised to find the tears welling up in his eyes.

"I tried to hunt him down," Sirius croaked. "I tried to get him for what he'd done. I should have known…I should've realized. This would have never happened if I had...and I regretted what I've done every day James...I should have never convinced you in letting Peter be the secret keeper. I'm so sorry James…so sorry…If I could do something…If I could lessen the pain…"

James shut his eyes tightly as a tear ran down his face, making a trail through the dust and mud on his face. "Then kill me," he said in a hushed whisper. "Let me join them."

Remus, stumbled backwards wide-eyed, horrified at what he was saying, and after a pregnant silence, Sirius replied as James had expected. "Never…I could never…"

"You said that you would do anything to lessen the pain!" he cried hoarsely, as more tears made stained his face.

"How could you ask me to do this?"

"You don't understand!" he said, completely breaking down now. "I can't live without them! You don't know what it feels like! They're gone! My wife and son are dead!"

"No James!" Remus said hurriedly, walking over towards him and kneeling on the floor beside him. "He's not dead, Harry's not dead!"

At hearing Remus say that, James seemed to literarily freeze. He did not seem to be taking in a breath, his tears had stopped flowing abruptly, and the cogs in his mind seemed to shut down.

"Did you hear me James?" Remus said, shaking his shoulders, a slight smile on his face. "Harry's alive!"

Authors Note: Were finally getting there aren't we! I'm very excited to right the next chapter...We get to see Dumbledore ( I think...hmmm..) and speaking of the next chapter, both the title (not chosen yet) and the progress of writting it will be on my bio page! And the same goes for any Fighting the Fates readers,but I'm sorry to say that it's on hold now because I'm also revising T.V.C (( I'm half-way through it! )) and I can't juggle three fics at a time...I hope you understand.

But until then, please keep on reviewing! Please! And thanks to all the people who reviewed last chapter!