DVD: And now…
(divider)
YamiDarkness: Last time, Link and Zelda got attacked by Joe, the dimension traveler. While Zelda was captured, Link got sent to the Mario World! Now Link is trapped in the Bomb-Omb Battlefield, and has no way to get out! Can Link find a dimension traveler in time to save Zelda? Find out in… uh… this chapter.
(divider)
Chapter 2: Linky-poo finds a dimension traveler!
(divider)
Disclaimer: DVD does not own The Legend of Zelda or Mario.
(divider)
Link: (still complaining from last chapter) I promise, if you let me out of here, I'll… I'll… I'll quit smoking! And doing drugs! And I'll quit drinki-
Mario: I-a didn't know-a you-a smoked-a, drank-a, and did-a drugs-a. You're a baaaaad boy!
Link: I don't. And when did you get back here?
DVD: (calmly walks up) Remember, kids. Smoking, drinking, and doing drugs is bad for you. It causes cancer, brain damage, and makes you smell bad. It also makes you die. Cancer is bad, too. Cancer causes tumors, death, and stuff. Brain damage is-
Readers: GET ON WITH THE STORY!
DVD: Right. Now, we return you to your normal randomness.
DVD185: (doinks up) (does weird doinky dance) Doinky doinky doinky doinky! WHEEE! (Mr. Weight)
Link: Who the heck are-
DVD: Oh, no you don't! We aren't doing that again!
DVD185: Do what again? Make the fourth- (Mr. Weight) Ow.
Link: The fourth what?
DVD: Nothing. Ignore him. He's insane. And inane. And stupid.
Link: Oh. But what's behind that? (points at colon)
DVD: That? That's the land beyond the colon. O.O (winces, preparing for fourth wall breakage)
Link: Ew.
DVD: Huh? … -.- Not that colon!
Link: Oh, you mean the colon on a keyboard.
DVD: Two things. One, how do you know what a keyboard is? And two, why hasn't the fourth wall shattered yet?
Link: Fourth wall? You mean like when they film a movie?
DVD: Yeah. And how do you know what a movie is?
Link: n.n I'm smart!
DVD: No you're not. You're just a piddly little character.
Link: Character? Oh, you mean like letters on a computer!
DVD: How do you know all of this stuff and you still haven't figured out that this is just a story!
Link: (Wasn't listening) Sorry, what did you say?
DVD: Oh, just the fact that this is- will you pay attention while I'm talking to you!
Link: You got any twos?
Mario: Go-a fish-a.
DVD: Fine, I can see where I'm not wanted. (disappears, along with DVD185)
Mario: Hey-a, that-a guy-a just disappeared-a.
Link: Hey, just like an author would! (fourth wall shatters)
Meanwhile in Authorland…
DVD: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!
Meanwhile, in The Mario World…
Link: So that must mean that this is (Gets zappoed by a Mr. Glowy Author Power Thingy, much like in Poke' Duel Monsters, The Comic, found on the website) not a story.
Mario: O.o But-a didn't-a you just-a say that-a this (gets zappoed by Mr. Glowy Author Powers) is-a not a story
Link: What? Oh, never mind. What were we talking about?
Mario: I-a forget-a.
Link: Oh.
Mario: Oh! I-a remember-a! You were-a sayin' that-a you didn't-a take-a drugs-a.
Link: Oh, right. I don't. Anyway, how do I get out of here?
Mario: Oh-a, you just-a need a star-a.
Link: That's it?
Mario: Yup.
Link: What? But I had a star, and it didn't do anything!
Mario: Really? When?
Link: In the last chapter! (fourth wall shatters)
Meanwhile, in Authorland...
DVD: -.-
Meanwhile, in the Mario World...
Link: Anyway, (mindwipe location"Link" time"past 10 seconds" topic"chapters") ...what was I talking about again?
Mario: You-a were-a (mindwipe location"Mario" time"past 13 seconds" topic"chapters") Uh... I-a forget.
(Repair location"fourth wall")
Link: So... why couldn't I exit the level when I picked up that star?
Mario: ...Oh! You-a didn't-a do the "I Got-a the Star-a" dance!
Link: ...What?
Mario: The "I Got-a the Star-a" dance!
Link: You mean like this? (does weird doinky dance) Doinky doinky doinky doinky! WHEEEE! (Mr. Weight) Ow...
Mario: (smacks forehead) No-a, not that-a one! This-a one! (Does the "I Got the Star Dance", even though he didn't really get the star) Da dat dat da dat dat! Here-a we GO! (Note: this dance only appears in the original "Super Mario 64" game. For some reason, they didn't do it right in the D/S version.)
Link: (crawls out from under the Mr. Weight) Oh. But you aren't gone now!
Mario: -.- You-a need-a the star-a, stupidhead.
Link: Oh.
Mario: (sigh-a)
Link: Well, how do I get the star?
Mario: By-a defeating Koopa Troopa in a race-a.
Link: Oh. Who's Koopa Troopa?
Mario: Are-a you-a dense! He's a big, fat-a, ugly, retarded-looking turtle-a with big-a, green, stupid-a shoes! How could you miss... him... He's-a standing right-a behind-a me, isn't he-a?
Link: Yup.
Mario: (sigh-a)
Koopa Troopa: Hey there, Mario? Who's your little green friend?
Mario: His-a name is-a Link-a.
Koopa Troopa: Oh. (looks at Link) Hi, Linka!
"Linka": -.- It's Link.
Koopa Troopa: Really? (looks at "it") Hi, Link!
"Linka": No, I'm Link! Not it!
Koopa Troopa: Ooh! Not it!
Link: ... (to Mario) You're right. He is retarded.
Koopa Troopa: WHAT! (Turns all demonic and junk and stuff)
Link: O.O I didn't mean it!
Koopa Troopa: (turns back) Oh.
Link: O.o
Koopa Troopa: ...Anyway, you guys wanna race?
Link: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
Koopa Troopa: Hmm... I wanna race someone that's fast...
Link: Me! Me! Pick me!
Koopa Troopa: Someone who'll actually stand a chance...
Link: MEEEEEEEE!
Koopa Troopa: I pick... Mario!
Link: -.-
Mario: n.n (drops Nintendo Power magazine) (A/N: I don't own Nintendo Power.) Yay!
Koopa Troopa: All right, then! Ready... set... GO! (begins running)
Mario: (is about to start running, when Link trips him) (trip, SPLAT!)
Link: Man down! Man down! That means I have to run for him!
Mario: -.-
Link: n.n
Koopa Troopa: Uh... Okay! Ready... Set... GO! (starts running again)
Link: (Activates Pegasus Shoes) (Runs up the mountain at light speed, while jumping on Goombas, blasting through cannonballs, and running over Mario)
Mario: -.-
Link: n.n I win!
Koopa Troopa: (runs up the mountain v...e...r...y... s...l...o...w...l...y...) Whew! Okay, you win! Now, I'll give you a star!
Star: (appears)
Link: Now, all I have to do is do that stupid "I Got the Star Dance" and I'm outta here. (grabs star) (Does the "I Got the Star" dance) Da dat dat da dat dat! HERE WE GO! (disappears)
Music that had been playing: (stops abrubtly)
Mario: O.O No-a! He got-a it! That-a means I'm-a stuck here... Unless-a... (goes and kills himself)
Meanwhile, in Princess Toadstool's Castle...
Painting: (ripples)
Link: (Pops out) That was weird. ("You got the star!" music plays) O.o
Mario: (Pops out) Mama-mia!
Link: O.O WHAT! But I got the star! Not you!
Mario: Oh, I just-a killed-a myself.
Link: O.O WHAT!
Mario: (shruggie) I-a had-a more lives-a.
Link: ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT I COULD'VE GOTTEN OUT ANYWAY!
Mario: ...Maybe...
Link: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
(Camera zooms out to show the world)
(Nuclear Explosion)
(Camera zooms back in)
Link: (sigh) Well, anyway,- (You're talking to Toad music plays)
Toad: Hi, little green dude!
Link: What? "Little Green Dude?" Look who's talking, short stuff!
Toad: (Turns bright red) Grr...
Link: O.o
Toad: I may be small, but I have a REALLY BIG HAMMER! (brandishes really big hammer)
Link: O.O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs)
DVD185: Like poop! (Mr. Weight)
Toad: (Chases Link around the room)
(They run back and forth across the screen for a few minutes)
Mario: (playing Solitaire) (whistles to himself) Maybe-a I should've-a warned him about that-a.
Daricio: (Walks up and peers over Mario's shoulder) ...That black five can go onto the red six.
Mario: (seethes for a moment) I KNOW!
Daricio: ...Well, you don't need to get touchy about it... (leaves)
Mario: (grumbles for a moment) ... (stares at solitaire game for a moment) ... (places five on six)
Meanwhile...
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH- wait. (turns around) I have a really big hammer, too! (wields megaton hammer)
Toad: (glares at Link)
Link: (glares back)
("Quickdraw" music from Kirby Superstar plays)
Both: (attack each other at the same time)
Megaton hammer: (ish PWNED!11)
Link: X.X Ow.
Toad: Never underestimate the power of a mushroom (with a really big hammer)!
Link: Mushroom? Isn't that some kind of drug or another?
Toad: (twitch) (twitch)
Link: (PWNED!1) (PWNED!1!1) (PWNED!1!1) (PWNED1!1) (PWNED!1!) (PWNED!111111) (Lands in front of Mario)
Mario: Hey-a, Link, how're you-a doing-a?
Link: Kill me...
Mario: Why-a?
Link: (slowly removing his butt from the floor) I didn't mean literally!
Mario: Well-a, what did you-a mean-a?
Link: That-
(cut to show giant teddy bears dancing around the screen)
(cut back to Link and Mario)
Link: ...hurt!
Mario: O.O Such-a language-a!
Link: (ahem), anyway, are you absolutely certain there are no dimension mages anywhere?
Mario: Yup.
("You're talking to Toad" music plays again)
Link: O.o
Toad: That was a random topic change... now, anyway...
Link: yes?
Toad: I know a dimension mage!
Link: (casts death glare in Mario's general direction) Oh, really?
Mario: (randomly playing "Taps" on a harmonica)
Link: O.o You people confuse me!
Toad: ...Wanna know who the dimension mage-
Link: YES!
Toad: (blown away)
Link: Wait! Come back, little mushroom-drug, come ba- (PWNED!1!) . Whee! You came back! n.n
Toad: (to Mario) And he calls us crazy.
Mario: Well-a, no, mostly just-a me-a.
Link: For good reason! Now, tell me where the dimension mage is. I have to get home so I can save my girfrien- I mean, uh, the princess.
Toad: Princess? That's exactly who the dimension mage is!
Link: O.o Princess Zelda's a dimension mage?
Toad: Zelda? Sounds like a video game!
(Legend of Zelda music begins playing)
Link: -.- That's because it is a video game!
Toad: Oh. Well, I wasn't talking about Zelda. I was talking about Peach... Mario's girlfriend.
Mario: (turns bright red)
Toad: (PWNED!1!11) Ow.
Daricio: (girlish giggling) (PWNED1!1!1!1!) . Hee...
All: (Wonder who she is, where she came from, and who (PWNED1!1!1!1!) her)
Link: So, where is Peach?
Toad: Oh, she got captured by Bowser and locked in a painting. Now we have to find all of the star power from within the castle walls so we can save her!
Link: ...(sobs) Now I have to save two princesses! (A/N: Princessessessessessessessesses! n.n)
Daricio: Princessessesses... (Giggles) (Wanders off)
Everyone else: (A/N: Because if I put "All," it would imply that Daricio is doing it too!) O.o
Link: Fine! I'll go save the princess!
(Ten minutes later)
Link: (In Jolly Roger Bay) I hate this place! I hate this background music, too!
DVD185: But I like this song! It's all cool and stuff! (gets eaten by the giant eel)
Mario: (Wonders how Link collected all of the stars in levels 1 and 2 in all of 10 minutes, then wonders why he's not eating doughnuts while watching horror films at midnight, then realizes that by the time DVD's writing this, it is midnight, and realizes why DVD can't think straight)
Link: (Trying to collect red coins) Where are they all, anyway?
Mario: (whistles) (hides one behind his back)
Link: (frantically searching the ship) (starts searching the rest of the lagoon)
Mario: I-a wonder where-a that last-a red coin-a is.
Link: You mean you don't have any idea where the last one is?
Mario: I might...
Link: Well, where is it?
Mario: (shruggie)
Link: (walks toward Mario, trips and falls in the cannon)
Mario: Ooo, cannon! (walks over to the cannon, blasts Link across the level)
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (splats into opposite wall) (then opposites into the splat wall) (whatever)
Mario: O.o How-a do you-a opposite-a into a splat-a wall-a?
DVD: (shruggie)
Mario: Where'd-a you-a come from-a?
DVD: (shruggie) (disappears)
Mario: (blink) ... (shruggie) (PWNED!1!111) OW!
Link: (wielding megaton hammer) Hey Mario, I think I found the last red coin. Now, how does that dance go again? Uh...
Mario: What-a? You've-a only done it-a 16 times-a! How could-a you-a forget-a already!
Link: Oh! I remember now! (does weird doinky dance) Doinky doinky doinky doinky! WHEEEE! (Mr. Weight) Ow. Wrong dance.
Mario: (rolls eyes)
Link: Oh, yeah! (does the "I Got the Star" dance) Da dat dat da dat dat! Here we go!
(divider)
DVD: Well, that chapter was supposed to be bigger, but I'm lazy like that.
DVD185: But what about the part where- (Mr. Weight)
DVD: Next chapter, my Yami. Next chapter.