Elizabeth: Ok... Disclaimer!
Hannah: Wooga doogan't oogawn thooga Loogard oogaf thooga Roogangs.
Elizabeth: In case you're wondering, that's caveman Latin. Made up by my brother, Hannah and me when we were little. You replace all vowels with ooga.
Hannah: For instance, my name is Hoogannoogah. Janene's is Jooganooganooga. Elizabeth's is Oogaloogazoogaboogath. Nice, huh?
Elizabeth: Let me say my favorite phrase, then you can read the story. "Oogaoogaooga, moogadoogamoogaoogasoogallooga". That's "Oui, madamoiselle".
Chapter six: Talking crunchy
Hannah's POV:
Janene and Liz entered.
"Hi Janene," I said.
She bit me on the arm.
"Is your friend alright?" whispered Elladan. I nodded. "She's just kinda weird. That's her way of saying hello."
"That's how she says hello? How does she say goodbye?" said Elrohir, his eyes wide.
"Like this," said Janene, and nodded, then gave a stiff little wave. Elrohir blinked. "Alright..."
"Actually, we have a lot of ways to say goodbye," Elizabeth added. She and I proceeded to rapidly perform the spastic spatula's secret handshake.
First, we held out our hands, index and middle finger together, ring and pinky finger together. We touched each other's hands.
"Elf Escort has a name," Elizabeth intoned.
"Figwit," I answered.
We patted each other's cheeks and kissed each other's backs.
We puched each other's fists.
Then, we bumped shoulders.
We put our arms around each other's shoulders and laughed.
We did the sign language for "stupid" (a sideways peace sign held to our foreheads) and brought our hands out to meet each other's.
We stood side by side, snapped our fingers twice, drummed on our stomaches, whirled our arms so they locked into a salute,then untwisted them and twisted them into a salute the other way.
"Give me some fin," Elizabeth said, holding out her hand.
I slapped it. "Noggin," I said, bumping her forhead with mine.
"Duuuude," we both said.
We put our right hands on each other's shoulders and bonked heads, saying, "Namarie."
This routine was delivered at mind-boggling speed, our having had over a year of practice.
Elladan's eye twitched.
"The only thing I understood of that was the word "Namarie". Did the rest of it mean anything?"
"Yes, lots," said Liz.
"No, not really," said Janene at the same time.
Elrohir and Elladan sort of stared at us in shocked silence, then looked at each other and shrugged.
"So, who are you guys anyway?" asked Janene.
"I am called Elladan. This is Elrohir," Elladan said, motioning to his brother.
"Oh. I'm Janene."
"You believe us?" Elrohir said incredulously.
"Yeah. I could tell." Janene answered matter-of-factly.
"How?" Elladan inquired.
"You're so crunchy," Janene said.
They gave her odd looks, then turned to us.
"What exactly does she mean by crunchy?"
"I have no clue," Elizabeth answered.
"It can mean anything," Liz added.
Janene grinned.
Elrohir stared at her. "Are you sure you're human?"
"I'm not human. I'm a Dwelf," Janene answered.
"A what?" Elladan said, raising one eyebrow.
"Don't ask." Liz advised.
"So, have you seen Gimli recently?" Janene asked.
"You know Gimli?" Elrohir asked.
"Of course I know him! He's my brother!" Janene yelled.
Elladan's eye twitched again. "That...doesn't make sense."
"Janene doesn't make sense." Elizabeth said matter-of-factly.
"But she's always right, sense or no," I added.
The twins looked at us with something akin to fear in their bright eyes.
"We're not always this strange, don't worry," Liz reassured them. "Sometimes we act almost normal."
"This has been going on long enough," Elizabeth said suddenly. "We've been doing nothing but talk, talk, talk, and I think something needs to happen!"
"She's right," Liz said. "You two can't stay out here in these woods forever. You need some normal clothes, some more pillows and sheets, and some food."
"What do you mean by normal clothes?" Elrohir asked.
I pointed to my jeans and t-shirt. "Something more like this."
"Where on earth are we going to get clothes?" Elizabeth asked.
"The boutique, duh! You can be such diputsi sometimes!" Janene exclaimed.
Liz smacked herself on the forehead. "Of course! Where else could we get free clothes! I'll go right now!"
She took off down the path, almost hitting her head on a tree branch.
"What should we do while she's gone?" I asked.
"Teach Elladan and Elrohir to talk like us," Janene said.
Elizabeth and I stared at her in awe. "Of course! They can't go anywhere talking like they do! We desperately need to teach them slang words, I mean, even the words "guys" and "ya'll" aren't in their vocabulary," Elizabeth said.
A/N: And, it'll make it a lot easier for us to write their speech. We were having struggles with not making them talk slang.
We spent almost an hour instructing them on the improper way of speaking.
"And definitely, definitely, do not, whatsoever, say "thee" or "thou" to anyone. Not even the president. Just be polite," I was saying as Liz came bounding back into the clearing.
"Mission successful," she said cheerfully, waving some clothes in the air.
"I think we'd better go. You guys can figure out how to put these clothes on. After you're done, come down the path and we'll be waiting. We're going to MacDonald's for lunch," Elizabeth said, taking the clothes from Liz and tossing them to the twins.
"MacDonald's?" asked Elrohir.
"See ya later," said Elladan.
We waved goodbye, heading down the path a ways. "Did I just hear an elf say "See ya later"? What did you do to the sons of Elrond?" Liz asked.
'We taught them to talk crunchy," said Janene.