A/N: Bwahaha… We have seven different reviewers...feel so loved...yeah...
Disclaimer
Elizabeth: These disclaimers are getting really annoying...
Hannah: But we have to do them. We will do J.R.R. Tolkien honor!
Elizabeth: ...
Hannah: -realizes she's jumped up onto a table- Er... Ahem. You know we do not own LotR.
Elizabeth: And that sadly, we never will.
Hannah: Obviously. We've told you that several times now, so I hope you get the message.
Elizabeth: Savvy?
Chapter seven: Oh yeah, we forgot to tell you...
Elizabeth's POV:
We waited at the end of the path, and sure enough, Elladan and Elrohir came. They looked slightly... odd with their long black hair, but they passed for normal people now. We headed down the road.
"Why do these wagons run with no horses?" asked Elladan, watching the cars whiz by.
"They have a fuel inside that makes them run," Hannah explained as best she could.
"Where are all the trees?" asked Elrohir wistfully. Liz scowled darkly. "The stupid people chopped them down for their apartments. We used to have trees everywhere here."
"At least we still have some," I said timidly. "I've seen neighborhoods where they only have about one tree per house."
"That's just sad," said Liz. Janene shrugged. "I like trees."
Hannah stared sadly at the woods. "Pathetic people, cutting down all the trees," she said sulkily.
"They cut down all the trees?" Elladan asked incredulously.
We said nothing, but nodded. As we approached the MacDonalds, Janene said, "I hope we don't see anyone here we know. They'd be sure to ask who you are. We could tell them, but we'd have to kill them."
Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other and shrugged.
We entered the building. (Insert suspensful music here)
We saw...
No one we knew. Thank goodness.
"You guys sit next to each other and we'll sit opposite you," Liz said.
"Why?" inquired Elrohir idly.
"I don't want it to look like we're on some kind of weird double-date or something," Liz explained.
"Date?" asked Elladan. "Can we speak the same language here?"
Hannah and I left Liz to explain the concept of dating while we ordered fruit-and-walnut salads for everyone. "I didn't think it was right for elves to eat hamburgars," I explained to Hannah. "And Liz being partly vegetarian, I didn't want to force her to look at meat."
Hannah nodded. She and I carried the trays of food to the table and set them down.
"What is it?" Elrohir asked.
"Apples, grapes, and walnuts. With yogurt."
"Yogurt? Is that like cream?"
We looked at each other and shrugged. "Sort of," Hannah said.
We sat down and passed out the food. After a quick prayer, we all dug in. Elladan and Elrohir had a little bit of trouble with the forks.
"How do you use this thing?" Elladan asked, trying to scoop up a chunk of apple.
"Skewer it." Janene said.
"But that sounds so brutal," Elrohir protested.
"Janene tortures apples," Liz explained. Hannah nodded.
"HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME? I'm her evil assistant! She gives out the orders, but I actually do the torturing!" I protested, earning a few nervous glances from other customers.
The twins gave Janene and me odd looks, then shrugged at each other.
"They do that a lot," Hannah commented. "So, did Liz and Janene explain dating to you?"
Elladan nodded. "It's like a casual courtship in which hardly any loyalty or faithfulness is required, but which makes people boast as much as if they were engaged."
"And it be anywhere from this inn- er, restaurant, to a 'movie' or a church," Elrohir added.
"That's basically it," Hannah shrugged. "The sad thing is that people start young. Some people are 'dating' at the age of eleven." Liz blinked her eyes at the ceiling innocently.
"They also explained the phrases 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'," Elladan said.
I nodded sympathetically. "I'm sorry for exposing you to our strange customs," I said, "but you have to know what people are talking about."
We ate in silence for a while.
"So, um...I've noticed people don't wear a whole lot of clothing in your land," Elrohir said.
"Especially the girls," said Elladan disapprovingly. "Though of course you- what was the word again? You- guys are dressed fine. It's some of the others that we keep having to..." he squinted, trying to find the right phrase.
"Avert your eyes modestly?" Hannah suggested.
Janene wrinkled her nose. "They're all idiots," she said.
"Not all of them," Liz protested. Janene shrugged. "Some of them are just mentally retarded."
"JANENE," Liz protested.
"Well, okay then." Janene rolled her eyes. "They're just misinformed."
"Much better," said Hannah.
"Why are those girls staring at us?" Elrohir said, changing the subject.
We all turned. Some teenage girls were staring at the twins, their jaws dropped open. Janene gave them a look.
They quickly turned away, still looking at the two elves out of the corners of their eyes.
"So, why were they staring?" Elladan whispered.
"Because they think you're 'hot'," Hannah whispered back.
"Hot? As in warm?" Elrohir asked.
"'Hot' means good-looking," Liz explained.
"Extrudable word," Janene commented. I nodded in agreement.
"Extrudable? Yet another strange word?" Elladan asked, raising his eyebrows.
"The proper explanation is 'to force out or push through,' but we use it to mean like forcing somebody's body through a meat grinder type thing," I explained.
Elladan and Elrohir were about to look at each other and shrug, when Hannah leaned across the table and grabbed Elladan's shoulders.
"Don't give us odd looks," she said. "You'll wear out your eyes."
"Not to mention if you shrug too much you'll pull a shoulder muscle," I added.
"By the Valar, you children are strange!" Elrohir exclaimed.
"Oh yeah, we forgot to tell you," Janene said. "Few people have even heard of the Valar. And nobody believes in them anyway."
"Don't believe in the Valar?" Elladan yelled, earning him a stare from a restaurant employee.