"Press the right trigger button to fire your weapon!"
Shadow T. Hedgehog, or "Shadow", or "The Ultimate Lifeform", or "Faker", or "Sonic Knockoff", or "Why Does He Get His Own Game?", or "OMG SHADOW! LOL 3", or "Alan Smithee" as he was sometimes referred to in various circles, stared long and hard at the blue floating thing staring him in the face with a giant grin.
"Press the right trigger button to fire your weapon!"
"I heard you the first time," Shadow growled as he drew his weapon from a pocket-like thing within his fur. It was a simple laser pistol. Nothing special, but it got the job done.
"Press the right trigg-" before Omochao could finish telling Shadow to press the right trigger button, Shadow pressed the right trigger button, and sent the blue slab of floating metal soaring into the canyon wall.
Omochao coughed. "Press the - ow. Press the left trigger button to cycle through weapons."
Shadow sifted through the pocket-like things within his fur. "What weapons? I only have one." Omochao pointed to the rocket launcher on the ground with whatever on him passed as an arm and a hand, and subsequently a pointer finger. Shadow walked on top of it. Nothing happened.
"Press the X button to pick up weapons."
Shadow did what he was told. Suddenly the pistol was in his pocket and the rocket launcher was in both hands. He had to admit, is was pretty neat.
"Press the left trigger button to cycle through weapons."
"What if I don't want to?" It made sense to Shadow that a rocket launcher was considerably cooler than a laser pistol.
"Because the rocket launcher has limited ammo and you should preserve it."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
- - -
A long time ago - a little over two years should you want an exact number, or approximate as the case may be - a Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction was written. It involved grapefruit.
Well, kind of. Go with me on this.
It was met with mixed reviews, with some people saying it was the stupidest thing they've ever heard, and some people saying it had limited ammo and you should preserve it. I was the author of this cliche-ridden fanfic, and it eventually became apparent to me that my writing sucked.
So, here I am again, a little over two years later, writing the same fanfiction, only 58 less stupid. Stupid, that is, in the bad way. There's a good stupid, and I'm going to try to fill this story with it.
Welcome, once again, to...
- - -
Lots and Lots of Grapefruit
Act One: Introduction
Chapter One: Buy My Game, Plz
- disclaimer -
All original scenarios are (C) 2005 Doug teh H-Nut. Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters and stuff are (C) SEGA.
- - -
As per usual with how these kinds of stories begin, Sonic and Knuckles were eating in a McDonald's. Knuckles, unlike Sonic, had been there since Monday. (It was Thursday at this point.)
Knuckles started up his DS and fiddled around with it for a few moments. "Crap, no WiFi yet."
Sonic popped a fry in his mouth. "Duh. That's not going to be here for little less than a week."
Knuckles thought Sonic sounded different - almost as though he had a different voice actor - but he let it go. "You told me Monday."
Sonic thought Knuckles sounded different - almost as though he had a different voice actor - but he let it go. "Yes. The fourteenth. Today is the tenth. You're getting Sonic Rush for that thing, right?"
"Am I in it?"
"I hope not. I get paid less that way."
Knuckles took a few bites of his chicken sandwich and leaned back. "Something's wrong here."
"Yes. You haven't pre-ordered Sonic Rush and that (expletive deleted) Shadow is getting his own game."
"No, no. Something else. I can't quite place it. How long has it been since we've been to McDonald's?"
"About a year, year and a half. I don't remember. Why do you ask?" Sonic didn't have a very good memory.
"What happened last time?"
"Something involving grapefruit and a weird yellow dude."
"Tails?"
"No, no, less orangish."
"Ah. I don't think there's anything to worry about, though. Our names don't magically appear in front of what we're saying and neither of us has said an emoticon in - "
Sonic did an emoticon.
" - and never mind," finished Knuckles. "What's wrong?"
SONIC
"Nothing. I just wanted to emoticon."
"What did you just do?"
"Talkie the English."
"No, I mean, with your name."
"I put it in front of what I said. What's wrong with that?"
At that moment, Tails and Amy walked into the McDonald's.
"Hey Knuckles," Tails called, "want to go on an excellent adventure?"
"Hey Sonic," Amy called, "want to go on a dating game?"
"Hey everyone," someone called over the loudspeaker, "want to go to college?"
And thus Knuckles screamed, especially when he saw Dr. Phil sitting in a booth behind Sonic.
- - -
Now, kids, none of these silly things are going to be in the actual plot, if and when I come up with it. No, we're going to have a halfway decent plot, what with...plots...and stuff. Only because I believe if I'm going to have an account here I might as well use it. Revu n stuf plz kthx lol.