Chapter 3 – Stating facts

"Feeling any better?"

"Why of course. If someone pointed out that you suck (along with your family of course) you'd be over it in a matter of minutes, wouldn't you?"

"She didn't say that. She just called you strong-minded."

"Hey, kettle, I'm pot. You're black."

"Well, you can both be particularly stubborn at times. You didn't get out of your way to spare her feelings, either."

"Really? Did my back hurt her knife?"

"When someone shows you the moon, don't look at their pointing finger."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did my feelings get in the way of her love declaration? Did I accidentally cut her oath of endless love to Malfoy and Snape in half?"

"Right! Giving me the mental image of 'Mione with either of them is something I'll easily be able to sweep under my mental carpet. In 20 years time. With daily sessions at St. Mungo's."

"You can always think of it as a threesome."

"Yuck, mate! That's even more disgusting than Filch shagging Mrs. Norris."

"Nothing is worse than that."

"How about Goyle shagging Bullstrode?"

"You promised to never bring that up again. Witnessing it once was enough to shred my retinas for life."

"Owed you one. Now, if you're done with the sulking, why don't we go find 'Mione?"

"I'm not talking to her."

"Look, I know this is your way of dealing with things, but do you reckon you can speed up the process just for once? We have a war to fight and we don't stand a chance without her."

"Is that so? Since when?"

"Since ever. I'm the strategy, you're the instincts, and she's the brains. It will take all three of us to face you-know-who and his clang. Dumbledore believed so…"

"Oh, for pity's shake. Every time you can't win an argument you bring up either Sirius or Dumbledore. You're so pathetic."

"I might. But it works miracles. Every time."

"Look Ron, seriously. I don't have the faintest interest in listening to her standing up for Snape. It was well and good when she did so to mollycoddle Neville, but I'm not blind. I saw Snape killing Dumbledore and nothing she does or says can change my mind."

"We also saw Crouch in the Marauder's map."

""Wh… what Crouch has to do with this?"

"We used facts we already knew about in order to interpret Crouch's sudden appearance at the map. We never thought twice about it."

"But how the hell should we surmise that his son had never died?"

"That's her point Harry. You can only surmise. You can't be dead sure about it. You don't have all evidence available. You assume one thing, she assumes another."

"So, you're with her in this?"

"No, you big git! I only play the in-between. While her theory sounds totally alien to me, it might have some merits. At least grant her the benefit of doubt."

"Her or Snape? 'Cause, I have no doubts regarding Snape. I hate him. He hates me. It's simple as broad daylight."

"Harry, I saw what happened. He had the chance to kill you and he passed."

"Next time see closer. It was under Voldemort's explicit orders. He didn't spare me out of magnanimity."

"You don't get it, do you? I'm not siding up with either of you. Given the facts I believe exactly what you do. But when I hear Hermione offering another scenario, I don't turn a blind eye. Hear her out before you damn her."

"Please convey my most heartfelt apologies to her majesty, but I'm not in the mood right now."

"Fine. What are you in the mood for? You wanna go for a ride?"

"Out in the vast fields surrounding this rotten place?"

"Three Broomsticks to grab a butterbeer?"

"Can't apparate yet, as you bloody well know."

"One-to-one quick Quidditch game in the big hall?"

"Your mum is still here."

"Game of chess?"

"Another massacre, you mean?"

"Exploding Snap?"

"Sure, 'cause Sirius' mum has been awfully quiet for the last couple of hours. Why don't we move it under her portrait and invite Tonks as well?"

"Fine. I give up. What do you wanna do?"

"Find out who the hell R.A.B. is."

"Who has rabies?"

"R-A-B as in the one that signed the locket's note R.A.B."

"Ah, that one. Well my muse tells me that he's probably dead already…"

"Your muse? Which one? Euterpe or Melpomene?"

"Terpsichore. Satisfied? As I was saying the guy is daisy-pushing for a while now, so we can look through Prophet's obituaries of the last, say 50 years?"

"Which will only take us 50 years."

"Sorry, did I hear any better suggestion forthcoming?"

"No. I gave Calliope the day off. Isn't there any neat search spell to go through texts without actually reading them?"

"Well, if there is, I know of only one person that might have heard of it. Want me to introduce you to Hermione Granger? Good friend of mine. Used to go to school together. We were inseparable. There was this other guy as well. Harry Potter was the name. You may have heard of him. He ended up spending his life alone over some futile search of horcruxes, 'cause he sent all his friends away."

"Do you think she might know how to customise such a spell?"