Warning: Ookay, there's a ZxC lemony thing in this chapter. I thought about not posting it, but it, surprisingly enough, is essential to understanding the character's relationship. Yeeeeah... and it's not that graphic. Still thought I ought to warn ya. It's the last bit, so you can just skip it if you don't want to read it.
Thank you so very much for reviews! I am proud to announce that this is the first chapter that has been beta-read before publishing. Huge thanks to KMS! She's great, and fast, too! Thou shall no more suffer typos because I like to write half asleep. .
And, ShiAne asked why Cloud is called 'boy'. Uh, well... I dunno. Reflex? Habit? But he will soon enough be called something else... mwa ha haaaa...
I won't go into what happened in the Gi caves, nothing happened that we didn't see in the game. So basically fight fight fight, giant spider, fight, slippery stuff on the floor, fight and FIGHT! And Seto. Same thing with Bugenhagen's lecture.
And, of course... since I'm not Square, I don't own any of the characters or anything else, really. I just mess with their minds.
...that was a long starting note.
Chapter six: Count down
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Cid hadn't slept much the rest of the night. When the morning came he was woken brutally by a furious Yuffie who had been released from her room. She had dragged him down to the inn's common room, where the rest of Avalanche already gathered. Tifa and Barret told them about last night in more detail than what the pilot had already heard, and then the group decided that they would leave in a few hours, after gathering supplies.
Their buggy had been fixed already and Cid had taken care of his share of shopping, so he finally had time to sit down and have the first cigarette of the day. He was just wondering how to tell Zax about last night when the younger man walked past him. "Hey, Zax."
Zax stopped and waved his hand, smiling when he turned to walk to the pilot. "Hi Cid, I was just on my way to find you guys. What's up?" the dark-haired man asked and sat down next to the blond, on the edge of the Candle's plateau.
Cid took a long breath through his cigarette and sat in silence for a moment. "Cloud didn't happen to wake up with a bruise this morning?" he finally asked and didn't have to turn to see Zax go absolutely still and stiff.
"...how did you know?" the Soldier asked quietly, turning to stare at the scenery.
"A wild guess. Did he say how he got it?"
"He went off wandering last night after I fell asleep, said he fell down some stairs. It's pretty much healed already."
Cid scratched his neck and started a new cigarette from the old one. "I know how it happened. He didn't fall. He was hit."
"What?!" Zax's dark expression turned instantly to one of burning rage. "Who the hell? What happened?"
"Your buddy the General Sephiroth the hell. Cloud managed to piss him off," Cid said and did turn to watch the Soldier. Zax's mouth dropped open while emotions battled on his face. Finally utter confusion won, and he could do nothing but stare while the pilot told him the whole story, repeating the conversation as best as he could. When he was done, Zax had buried his face in his hands. He couldn't believe that Sephiroth had been here... that the silver-haired man had been here and hadn't come to see him. He felt hurt and more than a little confused. The world wasn't making much sense, but then again, had it made any sense during the last five years?
"...oh hell... Cid, what's going on? What the hell do I do?"
Cid shrugged. "Damned if I know. Any idea of what Sephiroth might want of him? Or what the hell's he up to?"
"I don't know, I don't know..." came the muffled answer. The pilot sighed and asked the question which bothered him more than the General.
"So. What's this talk about puppets?"
Zax's muscles stiffened again, and his voice was absolutely cold when he answered. "Hojo's doings. That's all you need to know about it."
"Oh yeah? What if Sephiroth can control him? What if he goes nuts and starts to kill us? Still none of my business?"
The Soldier opened and closed his mouth a few times, starting to say something but apparently not knowing what. Barret interrupted them before he could come up with anything.
"Highwind! Soldier! C'mere!"
Cid muttered a few chosen words but they both got up and walked to where the leader of Avalanche was waiting for them at the door of the inn. He ushered them in, where Tifa, Cait and Yuffie were waiting around a table. The three men sat down, and Zax and Cid turned to Barret.
"Okay. Aeris is with Bugenhagen, talkin' about the Cetras. But the rest of us can check the equipment and go over the plan and all that, so we can leave when she comes back. You," he pointed a finger at Zax, "are here 'cause Red told us to talk with you about Hojo and Sephiroth. Anything you wanna share with us?"
Zax looked at their faces, all turned to him. Both Tifa and Yuffie seemed somewhat suspicious of him, but they had their reasons. Barret was clearly expecting him to tell him everything he knew while Cid toyed with his lighter. The robot cat had a happy, curious smile on his face, but it just made the Soldier wonder who was listening through it. He sighed and pushed his fingers through his thick mane.
"Okay. You're after Hojo, right? He's a skinny little runt but he's far more dangerous than any of us, believe me. If I'd never have to see the bastard again I could die a happy man. But that would mean I didn't get to kill him.
"Don't waste time when releasing your friends, he can turn them against you overnight. Someone gets caught, they're off worse than dead. Expect the worst. Sephiroth..." He sighed again and rubbed at his face. "Shiva's icy ass, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have any idea what he wants with you, where he's going or what he's doing. I don't know him anymore." He pushed himself away from the table and turned to stare morosely at the wall. The Avalanche members looked at each other, puzzled.
"Uhh... well he wants Hojo dead, we think..." Yuffie said after a moment.
"He sad something about fulfilling his destiny," Tifa offered next.
Zax snorted and turned back to them. "That's not him talking, that's her. Jenova."
"But he didn't have the bitch with him on the ship, nor last night when I saw him," Cid said, making the rest of the Avalanche turn their attentions to him like a pack of wolves who just spotted prey. Zax groaned.
"You saw him last night and didn't tell us?!"
"What, here?"
"Sephiroth was here?!"
"Okay, shut up!" Cid shouted as they received the attention of the other people in the inn as well. "Yes, I saw him, yes, he was here, at least by magic."
"What did he want?" Barret asked. Cid didn't answer but turned to Zax.
"You wanna tell them?"
"...shit. I didn't see him, Cloud, my friend, did. And Cid told me about it. All you need to know is that Hojo seems to want Cloud but Sephiroth told him to ignore it. And that... well, that's actually it." He scratched his neck, refusing to look anyone in the eyes. Everyone else turned to Cid, but the pilot just shrugged.
"That's pretty much it. The General seems to have some control over both Hojo and Cloud."
"Who exactly is this Cloud and why haven't we met him?" Barret asked suspiciously.
"He's my friend. Hojo screwed him up with his experiments."
"If Hojo wants him, why can't we use him as a hostage or something? Offer him in trade for Aeris' parents?" Yuffie suggested and almost jumped to Tifa's lap when Zax shot up from his chair.
"Don't you even JOKE--"
"As a bluff! AS A BLUFF! We make Hojo think he can trust us and then kick his ass when his back is turned!" the ninja screamed, covering her head with her hands. Cid chuckled while Zax sat back down, eyeing her with murder in his violet eyes.
"Not such a bad idea, brat," Barret muttered, eyeing the Soldier. "'Specially if we can offer him two for two."
"Son of a--" Zax almost jumped up again but Cid put a hand on his shoulder.
"Relax, hothead. They wouldn't say that if they didn't mean to keep you both outta Hojo's hands," Cid muttered and grinned when the glowing, violet eyes turned their rage on him.
Zax fumed for a moment longer before forcing himself to calm down. "Sorry. But if any of you had spent time as Hojo's 'guest', you wouldn't speak of it that lightly. But if there's no other plan," he gave everyone around the small table a stern look that said that he meant it, "NO OTHER PLAN, we'll do it. Or I'll do it. I'd rather not get Cloud tangled up in this."
"Too late, kid, I think he's already in this deeper than you are," Cid said and the Soldier had to nod eventually. "And, if we just leave him here, who knows what'll happen."
"So it's a deal," Barret said and offered Zax his human hand. "You two come with us to free Aeris' folks, an' then we can all go our separate ways. Unless you want ta join us and save the Planet."
Zax grabbed his hand firmly and shook it. "Deal. We'll see about the rest once Hojo's lying dead at our feet."
The members of Avalanche nodded in agreement.
"It is good to finally meet you, young lady," Bugenhagen said and smiled at the young Cetra. Aeris nodded and sat down.
"You too, elder Bugenhagen. My parents have told me so much about you and this place, it is wonderful to finally be here. I just wish they were here with me."
They were sitting in the elder's observatory, the highest floor of his house. She had left the rest of the group to gather what provisions they needed when the elder had sent a message that he wanted to talk with her awhile. Aeris had already spoken with the other elders last night, about the Cetra and the Planet. But Bugenhagen was the one her parents had been working together with for a long time, to better understand the Planet and those who lived on it.
"Ho ho hoo, maybe the day will come, when all three of you will stay as our guests here. Maybe sooner than you think," the elder said, and she shared his smile.
"You think this rescue will go well, then?"
"It will go as it will go, my child. Don't worry about failing when you haven't even begun yet. But! You've talked with the other elders already, yes?"
"Yes, last night. They only told me again what Mother had feared. That we truly are the last of our race. And she, my mother, the last pure one. I am half human. My children will have only a small amount of the Cetra blood in them. Unless..." She looked up to the old man's eyes, daring to finally ask the question she had been pondering since Midgar.
"Father and mother never talked about him in my presence, but now, on my own, I have heard of him. Rufus Shin-Ra, the new president... he called him an Ancient."
Bugenhagen's smile died away and he hovered in a small circle for a moment. "You're talking about your father and Hojo's experiment with the Jenova. Sephiroth."
Aeris nodded and leaned closer when the old man moved to hover next to a window.
"Your father has told me a lot about him on the times he visited me. When Jenova was found, they were convinced that she was a Cetra. Your mother was the last one left, then, and through research it was deduced that she and Jenova shared almost the same DNA. Not wanting your race to become extinct, like our Nanaki's, they decided to create a new race, people with the powers of the Cetras. Thus Sephiroth was produced.
"Ho ho... maybe if your father had been in the project the whole time, maybe then Sephiroth might have become something of a true Cetra. But professor Hojo ousted him, and took control of the child Sephiroth and his future. Your father and I suspected later on that Jenova had a control over Hojo then already, but by then both he and Sephiroth were in Shin-Ra's hands, and we were unable to do anything.
"Your mother, she told your father about the history of the Cetra, the Planet and a lot of other things. He, in turn, told them to me. The Jenova creature... the calamity from the skies... it crashed into the Northern Crater, as it is known now, and created a large wound there. The Cetra fought it, and eventually the Planet trapped Jenova inside itself, trying to destroy the intruder. For as long as it exists, the wound at the Knowlespole, as your mother refers to it, will not heal. She fears that as long as it exists, it can come back to life. If it really controlled Hojo then, it is likely that it is returning."
"Through Sephiroth..." Aeris whispered and the elder nodded.
"I fear so. When the mistake had been realized, it was already too late. Sephiroth may have the powers of a Cetra, he may even be one, but as long as Jenova exists, as long as she controls him, he is very much hers."
"So he is a danger to us, and to the Planet. As much as Jenova is."
"Yes."
"A friend, Cid, who met Sephiroth five years ago, told us that he had been carrying around a severed, blue-skinned head. Is that her? Jenova?"
"I think so." Bugenhagen hovered over to a desk and searched through a pile of papers, eventually finding what he was searching for, and gave it to her. Aeris took the printed photo and looked at it.
It was in black and white, but still a sharp picture of a woman, hooked into numerous tubes and machines. Her body was bloated and Aeris could imagine the bluish hue to the skin. In front of her, on both sides, stood two men in white coats. She gasped as she recognized her father, much younger. So the other man must be Hojo. Aeris looked up to the elder who nodded, smiling gently.
"You can keep the picture. Now you'd better be going, before your friends leave without you."
"Thank you, elder Bugenhagen. You have given me much to think about," Aeris said and stood up, folding the picture. The elder gave her a tight hug, tighter than he seemed to have strength for.
"You are welcome, my girl. And welcome to come again, whenever you want to talk more."
They said their goodbyes and she left. She was almost on the lower floor already when Bugenhagen appeared above her, at the top of the ladder.
"Oh yes, and keep an eye on Nanaki, would you? Ho ho hooo!"
The woman who usually kept Cloud company when Zax was away hugged the blond one more time and left. Cloud barely noticed it, watching the Soldier pack their few belongings in a hurry. A change of clothes, some food, a blanket and, of course, the Buster Sword.
The blond blinked a few times and frowned, concentrating on what Zax had said and what he wanted to say back. Sometimes it was so hard to keep his mind from wandering, and even when he could concentrate, his thoughts were flowing with different voices. Hojo called for him. She whispered in his blood. Sephiroth's commands rang in his ears. Feelings and memories flooded through him, and he didn't know if they were even his. He tried hard to keep up with all of them and the outside world as well.
"We're... going to... Nibelheim? Why?"
There were moments of clarity, even long ones, when one or more of the voices were otherwise occupied and forgot him for a moment. But lately those quiet moments had been few and far between. He could remember days of thinking by himself, seeing things clearly. Then they remembered him again, and thinking was harder. Zax called that a relapse. Now they were all making it harder for him to concentrate, but he fought them as best as he could.
Zax zipped his small bag closed and swung it over his shoulder, the sword already hanging over the other one. "We're helping out a few friends. You remember Cid, don't you? I told you last night he came here with some of his friends. Remember?"
Zax was always assuming he didn't remember anything, just because he sometimes stopped speaking in the middle of a sentence or couldn't recall what day it was. But he did remember the important things. Cid, from Rocket Town. The Turks. Mom. People shooting, the roar of an engine. Then blackness and the sea. All that from one name. He did remember. A lot.
"...Yes." Nibelheim. Even more things. Mom, again. Home. Warmness. Safety. Some vague images of a father. The bullies and the cold winters. The crisp mountain air, the strong winds. The mansion. Hojo. Vincent. Pain. Injections, experiments. More pain. Nibelheim not good. "I don't... want to go." But Hojo wanted him there. Sephiroth didn't want him to listen to Hojo. She didn't care just now. She didn't like him. He didn't like her either.
A hand on his shoulder snapped Cloud back into reality. He looked up to see Zax's smiling face looking down on him. But it wasn't the same smile he could remember from before. This was the smile Zax gave him now. It wasn't nearly as nice as before but it was still a smile, and he answered it.
"Don't worry, you'll be all right. We all will be. Hojo is hurting some people and we're going to help them. Then, maybe, we won't have to worry about Hojo anymore. Wouldn't that be nice?"
Cloud frowned again when the Soldier tugged him up from the bed and guided towards the door. "...yes?"
"Yes, it would be nice. You know, if they hadn't asked, I probably would have asked myself if I can go with them. Maybe we'll even see Seph. Mind the steps, don't want you to fall. Wait, I'll go first. Come on, now, follow me. I'll make sure you won't fall."
Why did Zax think he'd fall? He was strong, getting stronger every day. And the ground was far below them. He knew that falling would hurt, so he held on to the ladder tightly. He told himself Zax was just worried about him, that something might happen to him. He knew how the Soldier felt about him, although he hadn't said anything for so long. But he still knew, as surely as he knew how to breathe. On his clearer moments he tried to kindle that affection in the Soldier, but Zax always told him no. But they loved each other, the knowledge of that was imprinted to his mind. Even if Zax treated him so coldly half of the time. He was still there, ready to catch him if he'd fall.
"All set?" Barret asked when they all gathered at the gate, the Avalanche, Zax and Cloud. Everyone nodded, except Cloud who was staring at Barret's gun-arm, and Tifa, who was staring at him and Zax. The leader of Avalanche frowned and looked around. "I'm tellin' you, the car's not big enough for all o' us..."
Cid scratched his neck. "Well, three on the front seat, four on the back and the cat in the trunk. We'll fit. Somehow."
"Why do I always have to sit in the trunk?" Cait wailed, making Yuffie laugh.
"Because you're just a robot and robots ride in the trunk," Cid explained, making the others snicker as well.
"That is only eight of us. Where will I fit?" They turned to see Nanaki walking slowly towards them, smiling.
"Damn. I think we need a bigger car," Barret said but his grin welcomed the large beast.
Cloud looked up to Zax and tugged at his shirt. "Zax? What happened to... the car you stole last time?"
The Soldier coughed and felt himself blushing. "I don't know. And anyway I just borrowed it."
"Can't you borrow another one?" The blond said, somehow making the word 'borrow' sound the same as 'steal'. Avalanche followed their conversation intently. They still didn't know Zax well, and next to nothing about Cloud, not even if they could trust the blond, if Sephiroth really controlled him.
Nanaki let out a small laugh and turned towards the inn. "I'm sure I can borrow another car for us. I'll be right back."
"Great!" Cait exclaimed and turned to Cid. "Do I still have to travel in the trunk?"
"Yes!"
An hour later they were already on the road in two cars. Zax knew the way, so he drove the first car. Cloud sat next to him, staring passively at the scenery. Cid and Nanaki occupied the backseat. Behind them, Barret drove the buggy with Aeris on the other front seat. Tifa and Yuffie sat in the back, and Cait's mog in the trunk. The little cat had left his usual spot at the top of the mog's head, sitting now between the girls, and was telling them stories about the Gold Saucer. With two cars, they had room to spare, but hopefully on the way back the space would be taken by Aeris' parents.
Last time the trip had taken a day and a half, so Zax had suspected that they'd arrive in Nibelheim late the following afternoon. They intended to go straight to the mansion and confront Hojo, hopefully trick him into believing that they were really ready to trade the Soldier and Cloud for Ifalna and Gast. Zax doubted it, but believed that the professor's curiosity would be kindled by their obvious bluff, and that he might let them in without putting up much of a fight. They could always hope. And pray that the scientist hadn't yet done anything irreversible to his victims.
Reeve leaned back in his chair, letting the robot cat babble on on its own while its sharp ears heard and recorded every word spoken between Aeris and Barret. The young woman was telling the man about her conversation with the elder Bugenhagen, and Reeve found it most interesting. He knew that President Rufus would find it very interesting as well. The blond man was still adamant about finding Sephiroth, and if he could report that he might have a lead on the legendary General, Reeve was sure that his job would be secured for the next year or so. He had learned to like the members of Avalanche and didn't want to betray them, but telling the president about Sephiroth wouldn't hurt the group. Hopefully.
He had been surprised to see Lindeman back at the Cosmo Canyon, although in retrospect he should have realized that the man hadn't died in Nibelheim, as they had been told. Reeve hadn't known Sephiroth's second-in-command well, only seen him in board meetings and at social gatherings, but he recognized him easily enough. He knew the official story of what had happened five years ago, and much more of the reality than the president would have liked anyone to know. He also knew something of the experiments Hojo had going on up there. He should have realized what had happened to the Soldier. He hadn't yet reported Lindeman's continued existence to the new president, not knowing how, if at all, it would affect Rufus's plans. Mostly he hoped that Hojo wouldn't find out about this. No one deserved to go through what that madman did to his specimens. The mere thought made Reeve shudder, and he leaned closer to the small television screen again, listening to the conversation.
"So what you're saying is that Sephiroth's as dangerous to the Planet as Shin-Ra?" Barret said, not taking his eyes off the road and the other car as he spoke through his teeth.
Aeris nodded. "Pretty much. He and Jenova will poison the Planet even if we managed to destroy all of the reactors and make sure that no Mako was used ever again. As long as she exists on this Planet, she will be a threat. She'll keep the Planet from completely healing herself. Oh, I wish Mother had told me more about Jenova. She has told me stories of the Cetra since I was a child, and of the Planet's history, but not much of this yet."
"Well, when we get her outta there, she can tell you everything you need to know," Barret said, trying to comfort her. Aeris smiled and lowered her chin, but brought her head up again when they came to a stop just behind the other car. They watched Zax get out and walk over to Barret.
"Ok, we're at the ford now. The tide's still pretty high, so we have to wait a while before we can cross safely. Might as well have something to eat," the Soldier said, smiling and leaning against the buggy's side. The leader of Avalanche nodded and stopped the engine, and they all got out of the two cars.
They had left Cosmo Canyon well before noon, and hadn't stopped once until now, late in the afternoon. They had decided to cross the ford and drive on for a few more hours before stopping for the night, so that they would be in Nibelheim as soon as possible.
Zax volunteered to go gather firewood, and Cloud refused to be separated from him, partly because of the looks some of their new friends were giving him. Barret sent Cid with them, to get more wood and to keep an eye on them while Aeris and Tifa went through their provisions and started to cook a quick meal. Yuffie teased Nanaki until the beast lighted the fire with the tip of his tail, and soon enough the smell of food was making their mouths water. After the meal Zax went to check on the river, Cloud following him like a shadow, and decided that the water was low enough for them to cross.
The rest of the day's ride was as blessedly uneventful as the first half had been, with most of them napping after the meal. They drove past a small hamlet not long after the ford, and another one about an hour after nightfall. This one was large enough to have a small inn, so they decided to stay there instead of tents.
There was only three rooms in the inn, all with big enough beds for two. The innkeeper was thrilled when they rented all the rooms and happily brought down an extra bed from the attic, so that the three girls shared one room, Barret and Cid stayed in one, and Zax and Cloud in the third. Nanaki decided to sleep down in the common room, on a large rug in front of a fireplace, rather than in one of the small rooms. Cait Sith was left to watch the cars, which hadn't made the little cat happy, but Cid had again pointed out that it was only a robot, and therefore the best option for a car alarm. Not that he believed someone would steal either car, he just liked being mean to the cat.
Cid and Barret stood on the opposite sides of the bed, glaring at it suspiciously. It was big enough for the both of them, no problem, but the covers were an annoying shade of faded rose pink, and the headboard was carved with hearts and little birds. It was the sort of bed that demanded romantic action.
"Right," Cid muttered and rubbed his eyes. "I think we oughta just get to sleep. Early start tomorrow."
"Yeah..." Barret answered, but neither moved nor took their eyes from the bed. About a minute later Barret opened his mouth again. "I've been meaning to ask ya, but there hasn't been a chance. Can we trust that Soldier?"
Cid scratched at his neck and shrugged. "I suppose. He wants to hurt Hojo, badly, and so do we. So for now, we can trust him."
"Bugen told Aeris 'bout Sephiroth, you hear all that already?"
"No. What did he say?"
Barret briefly told the pilot what the flower girl had told him, and then asked again if the Soldier could be trusted.
"Shit..." Cid muttered, ignored the fluffiness of the bed and sat upon it. "Well he's loyal to Sephiroth, so he might be controlled as well. But..." He really didn't want to do this... "Aw, hell... he's smitten with the blond kid. If he turns against us, we can use the kid as a hostage."
Barret stared at him grimly for a moment before nodding. They both turned to the door when they heard a sharp knock.
"Yeah?" Cid called out, standing up.
"It's me, Zax."
"Speak of the devil..." the pilot muttered and invited the Soldier in, wondering if he'd heard what they had just said. Zax opened the door and peeked in, grinning when he noticed the inviting bed.
"Damn, yours is worse than ours! I didn't think that was possible..."
"Need somethin'?" Barret asked while Cid chuckled. The Soldier shrugged.
"The innkeeper came to tell us that breakfast has been arranged. We'll leave immediately after that, right?"
"Yeah." The gun-armed man nodded, and Zax winked.
"Great. I'll tell the girls as well. Good night, you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
The door closed before Cid's boot hit it.
"Quick, hide here!" Yuffie hissed while Tifa wrapped the towel around her chest tighter and Aeris sprang to the door.
"Who is it?" the flower girl called through the wood.
"It's Zax."
"Oh, come in!" Aeris opened the door enough that the Soldier saw them all, Yuffie sitting deceivingly innocently on the extra bed, Tifa drying herself after a shower, and Aeris smiling sweetly at him. All wearing nothing more than their underwear or a towel. He blinked a few times before blushing.
"Uh, I just came to tell you that the breakfast is at seven and we're leaving straight after that, so..." He scratched his neck and grinned sheepishly. "So, uh, good night, and all that."
"Good night!" the girls answered and started to laugh when the door closed hastily.
Yuffie got up from her bed and lifted the huge pillow. "Okay, you can come out now!"
The little black and white robot cat smiled and adjusted the crown on top of its head. It let out a pleased meow when Aeris picked it up and flopped on the large bed, next to Tifa, and lowered the cat on a spare pillow. Yuffie also joined them on the bigger bed, and the three of them continued their interrupted conversation. Cait smiled contently and curled up on the pillow, purring even though he couldn't really feel the hands that stroked its fur. Yes, this was MUCH better than staying at the car.
Cloud was already under the covers when Zax closed the door behind him. Blue eyes stared at him from across the dimly lit room as the blond sat up and smiled tentatively, noticing the Soldier's frown. "Zax? Is everything all right?"
Zax waved his hand and came to sit on the bed's edge to pull his boots off. "Yeah, everything's fine, don't worry..." That was a lie and they both knew it, but he didn't feel like explaining his worries about the situation and what they'd face tomorrow right now, and Cloud knew not to ask. He kicked off the boots and pulled the sweater over his head, tossing it after the shoes. "Damn I'm beat..."
Cid had hit the proverbial nail on the head that morning, asking about Sephiroth and Cloud. He had been agonizing over the same thing himself, not knowing how much of the last five years he should share with the others. The things that had been done to them. What Cloud really was. Cid would not let the matter go, Zax suspected. The pilot knew something was going on, besides the world dying and all that, of course.
If... if things were settled with Hojo, if he'd get to speak with Seph, then they didn't have anything else to do with Avalanche. He felt that he wanted to help them aid the Planet, but sharing the past with them... the Soldier didn't know if he could. He could barely handle it by himself; if he'd have to talk about it... no, that would be too much.
He was going to stand up to take his pants off, but suddenly two pale, thin arms wrapped around his chest and he could feel Cloud press himself against his back. For a second Zax leaned back into the touch until he remembered his discomfort with the blond. Determined, he grabbed the hands and unwrapped himself. Cloud pulled back and looked up at him when the Soldier stood up and turned to face him.
"Cloud, no," Zax said like he was talking to a dog. "We're not going to do that." He shook his head and frowned when the blond scooted closer on the bed, leaving the blanket behind. Zax felt his resolve slipping when he noticed that the younger one was completely naked.
"But Zax... I love you..." Cloud whispered and smiled, looking up into the violet eyes, practically glowing with love and adoration. One hand slid languidly up, the fingertips brushing the blond's chest ever so slightly, inviting the dark-haired man's hand to join it.
This wasn't the first time this same thing had happened. Whenever he wasn't completely distracted by whatever it was that went on in his head, Cloud would turn all his attention to him. Zax would have been all over him by now, but the thought of what Cloud really was wouldn't leave his mind, and its friend, the doubt that his Cloudy wouldn't feel this way, was never far behind.
"...don't you love me?" Now Cloud was giving him the puppy eyes. Shit, where had he picked THAT up? Zax scratched his neck and lifted the other hand to his hip, frustrated even more than before and wishing the room would have two beds. Better throw in the old excuse...
"It's not that I don't care for you, Cloud. I do. Very much. You know that. But... you're still not well after Hojo's experiments. I wouldn't feel right when it would take so much of your strength," the Soldier said in his usual 'I know best' tone. Cloud just countered it with a pout that made Zax's pants feel uncomfortably tight.
"But I feel just fine! I'm not tired at all! And even if I were, I could sleep in the car tomorrow. Pleeeease, Zax..." The thin blond leaned forward, putting most of his weight on his hands, and tilted his head to the left, still looking into Zax's eyes. The Soldier had to take another step back.
"Cloud, no. Not tonight." He started to think that he really preferred it when Cloud was near catatonic, or at least confused enough to just blink and follow him around.
But the blond wasn't listening. He was on all fours and crawled towards the bed's edge, now completely free of the covers. "Please, Zax... I love you..."
Zax didn't have the heart to slip out of the way when Cloud launched himself from the bed's edge at him. His strong arms caught the lithe blond and the Soldier could feel his firm decisions drowning under passion. 'No, no, I'm not, NOT going to oh my god he smells good NO I am SO not doing this where is his hand wandering YEOWZA!'
The Soldier groaned and moved closer to the bed, Cloud hanging on his neck with one hand, the other trying to slip underneath the waistband of his pants. He tried to pry the blond off but then Cloud was already kissing him, not giving him an opportunity to think as the other hand left the neck and went to fumble with the belt.
"Cloud, no-" Zax attempted when he managed to twist his head away. The next second, Cloud's lips claimed his again. He could have easily forced the blond away and perhaps gag and bind him to get a good night's sleep, but something in him enjoyed all this attention and answered to it, reminding him that it had been over five years since he'd last been with anyone, and at least six or seven since he'd been with anyone he really cared about. And now, Cloud was here, he was certainly willing, what could it hurt?
Something else answered to the attention as well when a thin hand finally managed to open his pants and wiggle underneath the waistband of his boxers. Zax's eyes went wide and he forgot his every decision against this, pushed the blond to the bed and laid down on top of him.
Cloud squirmed beneath him, his breath shallow with passion, and lifted his head to kiss the Soldier's lips. Zax answered the kiss, his teeth biting into the blond's lower lip, gently at first, but with more strength when thin hands slid his pants down and attacked his underwear. All of his thoughts flown away, Zax wanted nothing more than to ravage the blond, take all the love he was offered and drink it, devour it, use every last bit of it to satisfy himself and wash away all the pain, fear and frustration of the last five years. He deserved this, they had both gone through so much, they both needed this and Cloud smelled so good and felt so alive in his arms... and was this thing really so different from his Cloudy?
"Zax, please..." Cloud hissed and wrapped his legs around the older man's hips, pulling their bodies together. Zax claimed his lips again, almost drawing blood, which only made the blond moan and writhe beneath him, making every moment before fulfillment all that more deliciously torturing. The Soldier had to pull away for a second to get completely rid of his trousers, but he returned to Cloud's waiting arms in a matter of heartbeats, and lifted the younger one's hips up to his lap, the thin legs to his shoulders. The blond frowned and bit his lower lip, unsure of what was happening. "Zax?"
"Shhh..." Zax hissed and leaned down to kiss Cloud's forehead, causing the blond to come into very close contact with his own knees. The Soldier didn't care, though, it had been so long, he was so hard it hurt. This... thing, in his arms, in his bed... it wasn't Cloud, it was just a thing Hojo had created. He could never see or touch the original again, he might as well take what he could from this copy, which could never be what he had lost. "This won't hurt... much..."
He wasn't violent enough to just push into the boy, although that was what he wanted to do. Closing his eyes, he slid one finger through Cloud's entrance, carefully stretching it. The blond made a small noise and bit his lip again, reaching out to touch Zax's face with the tips of his fingers.
"Don't." Without even opening his eyes, Zax caught the hand with his and before Cloud could react, roughly inserted another finger. There was no lubricant and it must have hurt some, for Cloud swallowed his words and closed his eyes, his whole body going tense. "Relax, Cloud. It won't feel bad for long..." he muttered and forced the blond wider.
Zax realized he'd need some sort of a lubricant, or they both would be in more pain than pleasure. He opened his violet eyes to look around, but even though he tried to avoid it, they wandered upon the small blond beneath him, and the fearful expression on his face. The Soldier stopped, freezing completely.
...he couldn't do this. Not to anyone. Not to anything. He pulled his fingers out and sat back, covering his eyes with a hand. "Shit... I'm sorry..."
"Z-Zax?" Cloud asked, his voice trembling. The dark-haired man could feel the blond move away from him but didn't dare to look up. Gods, what had he almost done?!
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you..." When he finally lifted his head, Cloud was under the covers again, looking at him, half afraid, half... curious? Zax shook his head and got up to pull his underwear back on.
"...it didn't hurt... that much." Cloud whispered when the Soldier wondered if the floor was too hard to sleep upon. He shook his head again and sat on the bed's edge, his back to the blond.
"I'm still sorry. Let's... let's just get some sleep, all right? We have to get up early tomorrow."
Cloud nodded, and Zax reached out to turn the light off before crawling under the covers, facing the room. After a few minutes he could feel the blond moving slightly on the bed, and a thin arm snaked its way over his waist as the blond snuggled closer. The Soldier sighed and closed his eyes, but it was hours later when he finally fell asleep.
Zax: "Why did you make a meanie out of me?"
Sephiroth: "Why wasn't I in this chapter?"
Cloud: "Why can't I GET ANY?"
Zax and Sephiroth: "…"
Me: "Why do I bother with you guys?"
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