Thank you thank you all for the lovely reviews! And, of course for reading my weirdness! And KMS for betaing! So many mistakes in this one...

Chapter eleven: Where is my mind?

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"Vincent? You ok?"

Vincent blinked his blood-red eyes slowly and turned minutely to stare at the nervous Soldier. He had hoped he'd never have to wake up again, that he could just stay in that dark, horrible place and be forgotten. That the world would leave him alone. But apparently that wasn't happening. The pain had hit him out of nowhere, and when it had receded he had found himself awake and in the nightmare that was his life.

Sure, this exact moment was better than being tortured by the four demons, but it was only a matter of time before everything would start to go wrong again. Someone would betray him, someone he trusted would turn their back on him... was there anyone alive anymore who he could even begin to trust? He didn't want to be hurt again because of his own foolishness. He wouldn't let himself open to anyone anymore. As soon as he had a chance, he could end it all...

"...yes. I am fine..." Vincent croaked. The green-eyed girl who had been standing next to the Soldier disappeared for a moment and returned with a glass of water. Zax helped him up a bit and she brought the glass to his dry lips. Straps. He was strapped to the bed by his wrists and ankles. Was it for his safety or theirs?

"Can't we let him go now?" the girl asked, turning away after giving him a quick smile. Vincent turned his neck to see whom she was talking to. Oh yes. The flying old man, and...

Professor Gast?

The Professor came to stand next to the bed and looked down on him, giving him a careful smile that reminded him of the girl's smile. Of course. She must be a child of his. Vincent didn't move as the man checked his reflexes and eyes.

"What do you think, Elder? Is it safe to let him free?"

"Hmm ho ho, yes. I don't think he'll give us trouble," the old man said, now hovering at the bed's head, looking down at him as well.

"He better not..." came a low, growling voice, but Vincent couldn't see who it was. The Elder laughed.

"Now now, Nanaki, it's all right. Mister Valentine seems to be doing fine. Can you feel the demons? Are they trying to get out?"

Vincent guessed that the questions were aimed at him and shrugged. What did it matter? But... just out of curiosity, he concentrated for a moment, seeking out their presences from his mind. They were still there, he was sure of that, but it seemed like the four demons had retreated somewhere far into his subconscious.

He opened his eyes again and noticed that everyone around him was staring expectantly, and more than a little nervously. He decided to put their minds to rest. He had sinned enough; he didn't need to make all these people worried as well.

"I can feel them, they are still here..." He lifted his shaky right hand a little, to point to his head, "but they feel far away. Hidden," Vincent muttered, not looking at any one of them. He could almost feel their relief washing over him. The green-eyed girl leaned closer and started to undo the straps at his wrists, ignoring the cautious noise Professor Gast made. Zax went to free his feet. How could the Soldier be kind to him, remembering how the man had wanted to kill him the last time they met? Except that... when Chaos had been in control, he'd seen through the demon's eyes... he'd seen Zax again, and Cloud. He had killed the blond boy, but Hojo's little project had been alive again.

Vincent groaned and lifted his freed left hand to rub at his eyes. This was all very confusing. How much time had passed since he'd given up? What had happened?

...What had happened to his left arm this time?!

With a start, Vincent opened his eyes and stared at his left hand. Gone was the metal claw, gone were the dark scales, and even the ridiculous attempt of a wing Hojo had thought might be amusing. All gone. His hand was completely human again. Pale, pinkish flesh, normal fingers, five of them, with fingernails and joints and bones and muscle. On the other side he could see the lines of his head, heart and life, as unreadable to him as they'd always been, but there. He lifted his right hand up as well, brought them side by side, turned them around and regarded them. Two perfect human hands, not even calloused anymore from holding a gun. And no pain. He felt weak and tired, but moving his fingers no longer sent flashes of pain all the way up to his eyes.

Vincent was so mesmerized by this miracle that he didn't even hear what the people around him were talking about. Only when Zax leaned over, putting his head behind Vincent's hands, into his line of sight, did he turn away. "Yes?"

Zax smiled and winked. "Did you hear anything they said?"

Vincent just shook his head. Zax shrugged and stood back straight, his smile slipping. "Yeah, well, listen this time. I'm gonna come back later and talk to you one-on-one."

He watched as the Soldier lifted a hand to pat him on the shoulder but hesitated at the last moment and pulled away, leaving the room. Guess he was still mad.

Professor Gast came to the bed's side again, cleared his throat and tried to look at him in the eye when he spoke. "Elder Bugenhagen and I have searched for a way to rid you completely of the demons, but we're not sure if that's possible. But even so, we're hopeful that we've managed to lock them up for now, so to speak. We'll still keep an eye on you, and we'll need you to tell us straight away if something feels not right. Understand?"

Vincent nodded after a moment. Was the man serious? Were they really trying to help him? Would it be of any use when Chaos wanted to fly again?

The Professor nodded and stepped back, turning to talk with someone. The green-eyed girl came to his view again, smiling.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty? Is there anything you need?"

He looked up to her and blinked a few times. "Your name." It was really annoying to think of her as the green-eyed girl.

She looked a bit surprised and he could swear that the whole room had gone quiet in a heartbeat, but then she was smiling again. "I am Aeris. Nice to meet you, Vincent."

"Thank you, Aeris. I need nothing," he muttered, turning his eyes from her. She stood there for a moment longer before suggesting that they'd let him rest now. Vincent closed his eyes and listened to the sounds they made when leaving the room. He doubted they'd leave him completely alone when they weren't sure if the demons could come back. Even so, he was startled almost out of his skin when two huge red paws suddenly appeared by his shoulder, not to mention the shoulders and head that went with it. One eye peered at him suspiciously from beneath a dark mane. Hot breath warmed his naked skin.

"We'll keep an eye on you," the beast growled with a low voice and Vincent deduced that this must be the one the Elder had talked to. Nanaki.

"As you wish," he answered coolly and closed his eyes again. He could feel Nanaki's stare for a long moment more but then the beast was gone as suddenly as it had appeared. But it was still in the room.

Sephiroth was more careful this time when entering the clone's mind. Luckily for them both it was far calmer than when he'd left. But it still was a bloody mess. He couldn't possibly fix everything, and certainly not at once. But he could do something. For starters, he could block Hojo and that shadow creature out. Neither had a very strong grip on the blond anymore, but they were still both distracting and potentially dangerous.

He hoped that his actions would have some immediate effect in the 'real' world, something that Zackery could see. Something that would make him happy. Even just a little.

Wondering if his own mind was anything like this mess of memories, thoughts and entities, Sephiroth made his way towards the spot where he had last found the center of Cloud's being. Jenova had told him that he could move through the minds of others like a ghost, but he had tried it once and found it one of the most horrible experiences of his life. It was like being slowly torn apart, just floating away from himself, losing that which was his core, his essence. Panicking, he had only barely been able to pull himself together and return to the 'real' world, the world of flesh and pain. She had scolded him for not trusting her enough, for not following her orders. He had refused to ever try again. Eventually she had accepted that, but scorned him for it. He still had nightmares of falling apart like mist in the wind. It was more taxing but safer to maintain a 'physical' form, even if he was here only in spirit.

Memories ignored him as he passed them, although he could feel and see something of them when one slid through him. He suspected that the entities could feel him, or at least feel that something was different with the mind they were connected with. He certainly could feel them. Mild curiosity from Hojo, impatience from Jenova, and something like fear or remorse from the faint connection with the shadow creature. Sephiroth concentrated on that one, but it kept slipping from him. He tried to grab it with his hand, but caught nothing. Then he realized that he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do.

Giving Cloud Jenova's orders had been easy enough, but what now?

Even if Cloud was just a clone, he still was a living being. Not a broken toy which could be fixed with glue or thread and a needle, not a wall that could be rebuilt with bricks. Looking around, Sephiroth realized that he was completely at a loss of what to do.

"Oh brother..." he muttered and sat down heavily, not caring if there was anything material to sit upon. He buried his face in his palms and sighed, as much as it was possible to do anything physical like that in someone's mind.

"Hello, Sephiroth."

Sephiroth's eyes flew open when he heard the words. Careless! He hadn't noticed at all that someone had walked, or appeared next to him. Let alone the three people he saw when he looked up. The trio made his jaw fall almost to the ground.

There was Cloud. And Cloud. And... someone who looked what Zackery and Cloud merged together might look like. They were standing around him, looking down at him curiously. The Zax/Cloud grinned almost wickedly.

Sephiroth stood slowly, careful not to give the trio any reason to attack him. They didn't seem hostile, though, mostly curious, but soldiers didn't survive by trusting just anyone they met. He tried to keep an eye on all of them, but one was always behind his back. They moved around him, half walking, half gliding through the 'air'. The Zax-like one kept grinning at him, and tried to grab the hem of his long jacket. The other two were almost identical, only that one was a bit shorter than the other, and somehow more... real? Sephiroth didn't know how to describe it, but the taller one felt artificial, or empty, unfinished. The clone. So the shorter one had to be the original Cloud. And the third... a mess of memories from both Zackery and Cloud?

Well. This was interesting. Now what?

"Watch it," Sephiroth growled and turned, making the third Cloud giggle and flee a few feet. But it also let go of his hair. Just like Zackery, always teasing. The other two stepped closer and stared straight at him when Sephiroth turned back. The two pairs of glowing blue eyes startled him, but he soon got himself under control. "What do you want?"

"Why are you here?/What do YOU want?/Please don't hurt me..."

They all spoke at once, with the same voice, and all around him. It took Sephiroth a few moments to separate the words from each other. It didn't help that the Zax/Cloud was pulling his hair again. He waved his hand behind his back, trying to catch the nuisance, and heard a giggle when the facet of Cloud's being escaped from his reach.

Last time he had encountered just one entity; was it one of these, a different one, or had it split into these three when he had imprinted his command upon it?

"Could you speak one at a time, please?"

"...no./Yes./Why?"

"It would be easier to me if all three of you wouldn't speak at once."

"Three?/There is only one./There is only me," The three Clouds declared, then joined hands and started to walk around him like playing children.

"Look, I want to help you."

"Help?/I don't need help./You need help." Now they were running, almost flying. Sephiroth turned from side to side, desperately trying to keep up with them.

"Listen, I --"

"I'm not the one sitting in an ice cave./I'm not the one talking to a severed head./I'm not the one who follows orders just because it's easier than living." The three Clouds were nothing more than flashes of colour trailing in circles around him, but their voices reached him perfectly.

"STOP IT!" Sephiroth screamed and covered his ears, closing his eyes tight. This wasn't how this was supposed to go!

Everything went quiet, and when Sephiroth dared to open his eyes, there was no one there. He lowered his hands and looked over his shoulder. Nothing. Just the chaos of memories. He turned back and swallowed hard.

The room was exactly as it had been five years back. Cobwebs in the corners, the bed, the chair, the secret door that lead to the basement. Blood on the floor, on the door, the walls. Vincent standing there with a smoking gun, staring at the still bleeding corpse at his feet, his red eyes glowing madly. The thin smoke rising from the gun and the sound of the running footsteps outside the room seemed to be in slow motion.

"Why... why are you showing me this?" he whispered to no one in particular. Vincent didn't hear him, and neither did the body on the floor. But the facet of Cloud that appeared by his side heard, and answered.

"He killed me. I trusted him and he killed me. How could he? I thought he was my friend. Now I am no more..." the being whispered, staring at the blood on the floor. Sephiroth licked his lips as the footsteps came closer. Soon Zackery would kick the door in, and see what had happened.

"You... you are alive still," he said when he got his voice under control. "You are still here, you are one with your body. You are alive."

The door exploded into splinters and flew open with the force of Zackery's kick. The splinters floated through the air like it was water, slowly but in perfect arcs. It was almost beautiful. Sephiroth lifted a hand to cover his face instinctively, but the splinters sailed happily through him.

"But how? I died. Vincent murdered me."

"Not all of you died. Part of you survived, and Hojo... he... he gave you a new body. You are alive."

Zackery's sword flew slowly towards Vincent even before the Soldier was in the room, but the weapon stopped just above the man. The ex-Turk opened his mouth and words flowed out in normal speed when the scene before them caught up with time.

("It wasn't locked.")

The scene faded and Sephiroth found himself standing again on the shredded floor of Cloud's mind. The facet of the original Cloud stood next to him, staring down at its hands. He opened his mouth to say something to it, to convince it that it lived, but the noise behind him made him turn around, and the next scene sucked him in.

The laboratory in the mansion's basement was far too familiar to him by now. But Sephiroth hadn't visited it when Professor Hojo had kept both Zackery and Cloud in there. The Soldier was slumped on the floor of his tank, sleeping, if the snoring could be trusted. The other tank was full of Mako, glowing green in the dark room, the same shade as the few computer screens. Sephiroth walked closer and peered into the tank, seeing that there was someone in it, soaking in the thick liquid.

Cloud. Of course. But this was the clone. It hadn't developed completely yet: it looked human enough, but there were small things that made his skin crawl. The tubes going into its back, feet that weren't covered by skin yet... luckily the face was almost complete. Sephiroth almost pressed his nose to the glass to get a closer look. Was this how he himself had been created in Her image?

"Shit!" He let out a loud scream when the clone suddenly opened its eyes and looked straight at him. Sephiroth stumbled back, halfway through the table before he caught himself and calmed down. Just a reflex, it couldn't possibly have seen him... except that it was watching him, and coming closer. Against the glass. Coming through the glass. Another facet, he realized, when he saw that the body was still in the liquid, eyes closed. He was almost angry, mostly at himself because he had let this nonsense scare him so.

The facet floated to him and wrapped its thin arms around his right arm, pressing its head against his shoulder. Sephiroth fought back the shivers and swallowed. "Is this what you wanted to show me?"

Cloud stared at the tank for a moment, blinking slowly. When it opened its mouth, the words came out slowly, lazily and without any emotion.

"I was created here. For you and her. Built from pieces and sewn together with Mako. Hojo made me. A monster. A puppet. And you pull my strings." The blue eyes turned to stare at him now, and Sephiroth felt as uncomfortable as he had felt often in Hojo's hands. The eyes seemed to bore right into his mind.

"I-I didn't ask for any of this. Hojo has his own agenda, as always."

"You don't want me?" The arms squeezed his now, and Sephiroth tried to pull away but found that he couldn't.

"No. I mean yes. I mean... I can't OWN you. No one can. You are you, you belong to yourself, no matter what others say." He said the first thing that came to his mind, and let his mouth take over, not exactly listening to what came out. The clone had a tight hold of him now, and it was making his skin crawl.

"But you told me what to do."

"Yes, but... but... I still can't... you don't... I don't own you."

"You force me into doing what you and Jenova want me to do."

"Yes but... other than that, you still have your own free will. Your own emotions, your own body. Your own existence. Because of what Hojo did to you, you have to do some things. But other than that, you are yourself. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

The facet stared at him thoughtfully for a long moment, but nodded eventually, and the laboratory disappeared. The clone let go of him and went to stand next to the first facet, taking hold of its hand. Sephiroth let out a long sigh and wondered when the third one would drag him into some twisted memory.

Someone tapped him on the left shoulder. Sephiroth turned to see and heard giggling from his right side. Of course. The Zackery mutant. The thought almost made him grin when he turned instantly and managed to grab the facet by the neck of its dirty, torn shirt. He had never had clothes like that himself, but had seen other kids wearing them, the kids who were free to play outside, who climbed trees and played in grass and wrestled in the sand and ran barefooted through puddles. The kind of kid that Zackery undoubtedly had been.

"Now, what do you want to show me?" he asked, not even realizing that he was bowing so that their faces were at the same level. The facet blinked its blue eyes and grinned like Zackery, running a tanned hand through light brown spikes.

"I want you to play with me!" it shouted happily and slapped his arm. "You're it!"

"I'm what?" Sephiroth asked, completely puzzled, but the facet had turned and was running away from him, laughing. He stood back up, frowning, and glanced over his shoulder at the two other facets who were just standing still. "What do I have to do?"

"You have to catch me, dork!" Zackery II screamed from where it had ran. Sephiroth snapped his head around just in time to see it stick its tongue out at him. "You can't catch me, you can't catch me!"

Sephiroth's eyes thinned to slits as he glared at the facet. "Watch me." He broke into a run, accelerating quickly. The facet eeped and turned, laughing merrily as Sephiroth chased it.

It lead him through memories that had to belong to both Zackery and Cloud, they were so different from each other. He couldn't see the one whose memory it was, since it was seen through their eyes, but the scenery and the overall feeling of the memory was enough to tell him whether it was Zackery's or Cloud's. At least in most cases. Every time he touched one he felt like he'd lived it, and he ran through dozens of them. The chase seemed to go on forever; the facet was fast and good at finding places to hide in, memories to slip under or around where Sephiroth had to go through and experience the whole thing. But eventually he caught up with the smaller one, maybe because the facet let him, or because he had longer legs. At that moment he didn't really care anymore. He knew more about Zackery and Cloud than he had even wanted to know, and his head was starting to hurt.

"Ok, now I'm it! I have to catch you!" the facet informed him happily. Sephiroth shook his head.

"No... now we... go back." How could he be out of breath?! From running after an annoying brat like that?

"But... I don't know who I am yet. What here is mine, and what isn't."

He sighed and, much to even his own surprise, put a hand around the facet's shoulders. "I can't help you with that. You have to speak with Zackery, he'll tell you what's yours and what's his. Come now, we have to get back."

Zackery/Cloud nodded, and they were again standing where they had started. The two other facets stood hand in hand, and the third walked quietly to them, taking their hands.

"Thank you/Thank you, Sephiroth./Thanks..." they said as their hands started to melt together. Sephiroth dared to sigh with relief when they were joined up to their elbows and the joining quickened.

"But you still have to stop lying to yourself..."

He snapped his head up at the words but the world started to swirl and before he had time to object he found himself sitting on the ice-cold floor of the Northern Crater. He stood up immediately and tried to return, but realized that Cloud had blocked him out.

"...watch Hojo, watch Zax, watch Reeve, watch my back, watch your language, watch where you walk..." Reno growled, pulling out his cigarettes and lighter. Rude shrugged his shoulders which was probably the biggest sign of amusement you could get from him. Elena turned to her superiors (superior indeed!) and wrinkled her nose. They should be proud of what they were! Only the few and chosen ever made it to Turks! How had these two managed it? They just complained, drank or sat in a corner of lounge in the 61st floor, reserved only for the Turks. No one else dared to come close. Even the cleaning ladies avoided the secluded corner as long as they could. It was a good spot, they had a clear view of most of the doors to the floor and of everyone who moved there.

That was where they were sitting now, waiting for Rufus to end his meeting with Heidegger and Palmer. It would have been fun to watch him cut their funding, but the President had requested that they'd be left alone.

"Does he think we have eyes in the backs of our heads?! There's only three of us, how can we keep an eye on everyone he's suspicious about, when he's even suspicious of our spies! Just wait, soon he'll have us spying on each other!"

"...I'm already spying on you..." Rude said, sounding amused. Reno laughed and threw a piece of donut at the bald man. Rude caught it and popped it into his mouth.

"So it's you who's been peeking through my bathroom window while I'm in the shower? Pervert!"

"You shower with the window open and without a shower curtain. Exhibitionist."

Reno threw a whole donut this time, and Rude caught it again, dunking it in his coffee. Elena sighed and sipped at her decaf.

"Maybe we should recruit new members, then?" she suggested. It was a perfectly good suggestion, so she was surprised when they both stopped joking around and turned to her, amazed.

"Shit, woman! Are you mad?" Reno said while Rude shook his head.

"Why not? What's wrong with it?"

"Do you have any idea how much WORK getting new recruits AND training them is?! No way!" The redhead almost shivered with dread and put his coffee mug (which read, 'You may borrow my mug but I will have to kill you for it!') on the table, taking a sip from his small bottle instead. Rude held out his hand and Reno passed the bottle to him. Elena sighed. How low had the mighty Turks fallen?!

"...what if I take care of it myself?" she suggested after the bottle had returned to Reno's pocket. The other Turks exchanged looks and Reno leaned back in his chair.

"Well, like I said, it's a hell of a lot of work, but... whaddaya think, Rude? She up to it?"

Rude shrugged.

"If ya think you can handle it, sure. Check with the Prez first, though," Reno continued. Elena nodded determinedly, finished her coffee and stood up, heading towards the closest door. Rude and Reno watched her go, and high fived when she couldn't see them anymore.

"We are so good it scares me." Reno grinned and took the bottle out again. "Make them think it's their own idea, and boom, it's taken care of. She'll even do her share of the rest of the work. And we can lean back and enjoy the rest. Ah, rookies..."

"...we still have to work until the recruits are trained."

"...damn."

Vincent came out of his slumber when the door opened and let in yellowish light. When had the room gone this dark? Was it night already, or was it because someone had turned the lights off? The door closed, leaving him in the dark again. With his eyes open, there was the familiar red hue to the darkness, and he soon realized he could see perfectly well even without any light. Turning his head he saw his new companion. A dark figure on a chair, not far from his bed. Staring back at him with glowing, violet eyes.

"Zax?"

"You're up." The Soldier stood and pulled the chair closer to the bed, then sat again.

"...yes."

"I don't know if they told you, or if you realized it yourself, but we're gonna be watching you all the time. Just in case. And because we don't really trust you. No offense."

"None taken. If Chaos tries to take over, I don't know if I even want to fight him..."

Zax swore, but Vincent couldn't tell whether it was aimed at him or at the thought of the demon.

"You know, I've half a mind to strangle you right now..." the Soldier muttered, startling Vincent completely awake. He almost smiled at that.

"Then why don't you? Save us all some grief."

"Because." The man crossed his arms over his chest, clearly frustrated but determined. "They've done so much to help you. We tried to save you that one time. You helped Cloudy. Aeris is worried about you. Cloud pleaded for your life. We suspect you might lead us to Jenova."

Vincent would have laughed mockingly if the words wouldn't have surprised him so completely. Did these people really want to help him?

"So Aeris asked to give you one more chance. She's too nice for her own good. She'll end up getting stabbed in the back if she's not careful..." Zax was muttering.

"Do they honestly think they can help me? Rid me of the demons?" Vincent asked after an uncomfortable, quiet moment. He watched as Zax sat up straighter and shrugged, not looking at him.

"At least they'll try. They're good people, they want to help."

"But you don't think I'm worth helping, do you?"

Now Zax did look at him, with a strange expression on his face. The younger man was quiet for a long moment, and Vincent thought he wouldn't answer at all, but the Soldier finally opened his mouth.

"Don't get me wrong, I am mad at you for what you did, but... you were used by Hojo. He's manipulated you for longer than anyone else. Well, maybe not as much as Seph, but still. I never knew you that well, but... you are worth helping. Everyone is. Hojo fucked you up, that's not your fault."

"Sounds like you've given it more thought than just now," Vincent said quietly, wondering what was the little spark of warmth inside him. Zax shrugged once again.

"Yeah, well, I have. People should take responsibility for their actions, but I guess it isn't quite the same when you're one of Hojo's puppets."

"...puppet. What a fitting word. That's just what we are to him. And to her. Jenova. They use us as they wish." Vincent felt angry. It felt good. He had been so passive for so long that he had almost forgotten what feelings were like.

Zax chuckled. "Yeah? Have to agree on that. We're gonna get even with them. Somehow."

"Good luck," the ex-Turk muttered. A small part of him, deep inside, almost buried, jumped up and volunteered to join them. It would be good to see Hojo suffer, to see him pay for all his crimes. But Vincent felt that he didn't deserve to see it.

The Soldier shrugged, staring at a wall again. "Thanks."

Now he felt almost disappointed that Zax hadn't invited him to join them, but he hadn't actually given them reason to trust him. Why did it have to be like this? "...After I... I mean Chaos, left Nibelheim... what happened?" he eventually asked when the silence became unbearable, even to him. Zax shrugged again.

"After that? I kinda passed out. So I don't know for sure. But to keep it short and simple, which it isn't, Seph went a bit funny in the head, thanks to Jenova, and took off, and me and Cloud spent the next five years in Hojo's care. Then we escaped, came here, and met the Avalanche. They were searching for Hojo, who had kidnapped Gast and his wife. We rescued them, met your dark side Mister Chaos, kicked his butt and, well, here we are now." Zax had leaned back in his chair, standing only on two legs, and was rocking gently. Vincent was too busy thinking to say anything.

He had guessed that time had passed, but five years? It seemed so little, compared to his last, long sleep, but so long, considering what had happened. "Where is Sephiroth now? Is he... is SHE with him?"

"We don't know where he is, but we suspect the Northern Crater. And she's with him. The bitch. She's probably controlling him, but if I get to talk to him, I'll try to get him to snap out of it. He's not... stupid, you know. If I can just talk to him without HER interfering, I can get him to think for himself."

Vincent wanted to wish him good luck again, but remembering how Jenova had pulled his strings without him suspecting at all, he believed that all of Zax's good intentions were in vain. So he didn't say anything, and the silence grew strong between them.

They were both startled when the door opened a bit, and someone slipped into the dark room, closing the door quickly. When his eyes got used to the darkness again, Vincent could see that this person's eyes glowed as well, even more fiercely than Zax's. And they glowed pale blue.

Cloud.

He watched as the clone stood still for a moment, probably letting his eyes get used to the dark, and then started towards Zax's chair, walking a bit wobbly. The Soldier had turned to watch him as well.

"Hi Cloud. Feeling better?"

The blond nodded, leaning on the chair's back. Vincent watched him blink a few times.

"Zax? I'm hungry..."

The dark-haired man sighed and pulled Cloud to sit on his lap, the blond head leaning against his shoulder. Vincent couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. But why? Because Cloud trusted someone else than him?

"I told Aeris and her mom that you'd wake up when you got hungry enough... did they listen? Of course not..." Zax muttered, but there was amusement in his voice. "Wait 'til morning, ok? I'll get you something then." Cloud nodded and closed his eyes. The blue glow didn't disappear entirely, as it was strong enough to push through his eyelids.

"Hey. Go sleep somewhere else, ok?" the Soldier muttered with a smile and nudged at the blond, but Cloud only shook his head, yawning. "Come on, Cloud. Go to bed."

"...I'll wait for you..."

"Wait outside, I'm talking to Vinnie here."

Blue eyes opened. "Vincent?"

The ex-Turk swallowed uncomfortably when the clone sat up and turned to stare at him. Cloud slid off Zax's lap and walked slowly towards the bed. When he was standing next to it, Vincent had to look at him.

"Vincent?" Cloud said after a long, quiet moment. "...why did you kill me?"

"Come on, Cloud, time to go to bed," Zax said. He'd gotten up and was now holding the blond's shoulder tightly. But Cloud shook him off almost angrily.

"No. I want to know why he killed me! Why he pretended to be my friend and then sh-shot me!"

Vincent winced when the words rose to a shout. Zax had stepped back and was shaking his head, not daring or wanting to intervene, leaving Vincent to Cloud. He swallowed again and closed his eyes. He didn't want to answer because it would mean he'd have to admit that he had let himself be fooled, he'd been gullible enough to believe the lies he'd been fed. So he said nothing, and closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to see the rage and sorrow in the blue ones. But Cloud wasn't about to give up.

"Tell me!" The clone grabbed his arm and shook it, almost violently. Vincent remained quiet and hoped that Zax would do something already. Then he remembered that the Soldier was still mad at him.

"...Cloud, come on. Talk later when you're both feeling better, ok? Come on, I'll get someone else to come and stay with him, and take you home. You're both tired now. Cloud?"

Apparently, miracles did happen, even to him.

Cloud didn't object so much this time when Zax took him by the arm and pulled him out of the room, giving Vincent a quick glance. The ex-Turk was grateful and relieved, but started to despise his own weakness soon. He couldn't even defend himself.

"...my sins are so much worse than I had thought..." Vincent muttered and closed his eyes. The words reminded him of that time five years back when he had been gullible enough to believe a feverish dream of Lucretia. Only because he had so hoped that it would be true. But nothing was real. Everything was just a lie, love and trust the biggest lies of all. He'd been a fool to ever believe otherwise, and would be an even bigger one if he now tried to make himself believe that this time would be any different.

"Vincent? Are you awake?" The quiet words woke the ex-Turk from his thoughts. He hadn't even realized that the door had opened, even though light was filling the room again. He blinked and nodded, and the door was closed. Who was guarding him this time? He had recognized the voice... the green-eyed girl. Aeris.

She sat on the chair Zax had brought close to the bed and sighed. She had brought with her a small candle, and had placed it on a table close to the door. It illuminated the room a bit, not too much to make it uncomfortably bright, but light enough to drive the darkness away. "Zax asked me to come in while he went to take Cloud to bed, but I promised I'd stay with you for the rest of the night. I wasn't sleeping anyway."

"...rest of the night? What time is it?"

"Almost three in the morning. Everyone else's already in bed."

"Why aren't you?" Why was he being this chatty with her? Ok, he had asked only two questions, reasonable ones, but that was two more than he'd usually bother to ask.

"Oh, I slept a while earlier. I don't need a lot of sleep, and I like to stay up at night, watch the stars and listen to the land, you know. It's easier in the night, when there aren't so many people around with their intruding thoughts." She must have noticed his confusion as she smiled and shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm babbling again. I just love to talk. But you must be tired. Please, go back to sleep, I'll watch over you."

"...thank you," Vincent muttered and closed his eyes. He could feel her calming presence but strengthened his mind against it, reminding himself not to trust anyone. Even if she was kind to him now, it would soon change. Nothing that was close to him could remain untainted. He would destroy everything that came close to him, everyone who cared. The closer they got to him, the worse was their end.

...Her humming was threatening to break his dark mood. But it also calmed him enough that he eventually slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Zax watched curiously as Cloud changed his clothes before going to bed. He was itching to ask how much the blond remembered of the past, before Nibelheim, but didn't want to upset him more. It could wait a little. He shivered a little when he saw the plug-ins, just below the nape of Cloud's neck. This time Hojo had made them travel down the spine, but a few trailed towards the thin shoulders, like some sort of a macabre tattoo. There were at least twenty of them, but they were smaller, not so easy to see.

"...What?" Cloud asked, looking at him almost timidly. Zax realized that the blond had already dressed and was sitting on the bed. He shrugged and smiled.

"Sorry, I was just thinking. How are you feeling?"

"Ok, I guess. Hungry."

"I'll find you something in the morning. Sleep for a few hours, you probably need it," Zax said and smiled, even though the thought of getting Cloud his 'food' sent shivers down his spine. But he still felt happy. The blond was feeling better again and seemed more awake and sane than in a long time. Maybe for the first time in over five years.

Cloud nodded and crawled to the other side of the bed. He lay down and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. "Okay, but not too late then. I have to leave in the morning."

"...Leave? Where?" Zax frowned and sat on the bed. Cloud turned to him and yawned.

"I have to find the Temple of the Ancients." Then he turned to face the wall. Zax felt a cold dread creeping up his spine and reached out to pull the clone back to face him.

"Cloud? What are you talking about? What temple? And why? I don't understand."

The blond blinked a few times and sighed. Then, speaking slowly and clearly, like to a slightly thick child, he explained: "I have to find the Temple of the Ancients and bring the Black Materia to Sephiroth." Then he turned again, pulling the blanket up to his ears, signaling that the conversation was over. Zax covered his mouth with a hand and wondered why he felt so horribly scared.

-

A.N: I promise, they will eventually get out of Cosmo Canyon... I've been spending much more time playing Kingdom Hearts than writing lately... (reviews make me write faster!)

Must... get... Fool's Fate... Robin Hobb is too good...

Happy new year to everyone! :D