Erik Gerik
Summary: Erik Gerik realizes that the sky is falling. Or is it? This oneshot is a parody of "Chicken Licken" from the book The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales.
One day, Erik Gerik was sitting in his lair, minding his own business and fiddling with his Punjab lasso when he felt a piece of something fall on his head. He looked down and saw a white square brick with the capital letter "I" on it; upon viewing this object, Erik immediately shouted his conclusion, "THE SKY IS FALLING! WE MUST WARN THE MANAGERS!"
He raced up a secret passageway, bumping into Daroga Nadir in dark. Erik decided to warn his friend and exclaimed, "Daroga Nadir! Daroga Nadir! THE SKY IS FALLING!"
"Oh, honestly, Erik, the sky is not falling; stop being such a drama queen," Nadir replied calmly.
"But it is falling! We must warn the managers!" At that moment, another brick fell on Nadir's head; this one had a lowercase letter "d" written on it.
"OH MY GOD! THE SKY IS FALLING! WE MUST WARN THE MANAGERS!" the daroga shrieked.
"That's what I was trying to tell you!" Erik stated frantically. The duo ran up the passageway and into the Opera House, promptly knocking Christine Daae onto the floor.
"Christine Daae! Christine Daae! THE SKY IS FALLING! WE MUST WARN THE MANAGERS!" the two men screamed.
Christine stared at them for a moment, blinked, and then began to panic.
"OH NO! THE SKY IS FALLING! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!" she shrieked hysterically. Then she ran into Meg Giry, and the girls fell on top of each other.
As they picked themselves up, Meg noticed Erik Gerik and screeched, "HE'S HERE, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! HE'S COME TO KILL US ALL! AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" Then two more bricks, these engraved with the letter "o" and the word "not," plopped onto Meg's head.
"EEEEEEEKKKK!" she shrilled, "THE SKY IS FALLING! WE MUST WARN THE MANAGERS!"
"THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!" Erik, Nadir and Christine shouted back.
"Wait, why do we keep yelling?" Erik asked.
"BECAUSE THE SKY IS FALLING!" Christine answered.
"Okay, everybody, FREEZE!" ordered a girl about Meg's size with dark brown hair and eyes and fair skin. Everybody froze.
"Hey, who are you? You're not in this story," Nadir pointed out.
"I'm BandieGirl, the Authoress," the girl stated.
"Why are you here?" Erik asked.
"I FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!" she shouted.
"WHO CARES ABOUT THAT! THE SKY IS FALLING!" Christine cried yet again.
"WE MUST WARN THE MANAGERS!" Meg declared. The foursome agreed on this and ran off to the managers' office with BandieGirl trailing behind, screaming about the disclaimer.
When the group reached the lobby with the cool split staircase, they met Vicomte Raoul. The small white bricks were drizzling on them now.
"Vicomte Raoul! Vicomte Raoul! THE SKY IS FALLING! WE MUST WARN THE MANAGERS!" Erik Gerik, Daroga Nadir, Christine Daae, and Meg Giry shouted in his ear, followed by BandieGirl's laments for the poor, forgotten disclaimer.
"I'll take you to the managers," Raoul promised slyly, intending to have them arrested for associating with the Phantom.
"Thank you, Raoul!" Christine rejoiced.
Raoul did not get a chance to arrest them because Erik Gerik was partially right.
The sky was not falling.
The disclaimer was.
It fell and squished them all.
THE END
Disclaimer: do ownI I
I not Phantomwish did.