Rising
By Dimgwrthien
Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to the Harry Potter series or affiliates.
Author's Notes: I'm so glad to entertain people for the short while it takes to read these. I really hope you all enjoy the rest of the story. I'm updating as quickly as possible without killing myself, too. Remember, ten chapters! If I have time and more plot, it could be longer.
The owl carrying the Daily Prophet came without either of the men noticing. After rapping impatiently on the door, the owl hooted and seemed to give up as it traveled to the window on the opposite side of the house.
Ginny opened the old glass and glanced around. After a moment, she pulled several Knuts from her pocket that she seemed to have forgotten she had on her. Once the owl had them secured in the pouch tied to a scaly leg, he jumped off, flying away faster than usual.
"Newspaper," Ginny called, pausing. She had not heard from Severus or Remus for at least ten minutes. Weakly, she opened the paper, glancing at the headlines. All seemed rather morbid. The obituaries seemed longer than ever. Even the photos looked more black than white.
After glancing through the obituaries, she figured out the reason why they seemed so long. The war. Everyone there had been in the war.
A tear escaped her eyes as she saw half of her friends and family, pictures all lined up, smiling, waving, happy.
"Remus?" she called out again, feeling her voice drop to a dull whisper within nanoseconds. No answer came yet again. She dropped the paper to the ground and walked to the door, pulling it open firmly.
The air, cool as it had been the day before, stung at her eyes, drying them. She had never liked to be seen crying, not since Tom Riddle, who dried up all of her tears. Snow, gently strewn about the yard, froze her bare feet as she walked onto it.
After a minute or two, she heard a yelled behind her. "Ginny!" Larger hands seized her shoulders, pulling her firmly inside. "What are you doing?"
"Standing outside," she muttered, eyes downcast, hoping the position would not squeeze out more tears than needed. "Just wanted to stand outside."
"Wearing next to nothing?" Remus managed to wrestle her inside and closed the door, frowning. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she insisted, but Remus seemed to notice the newspaper on the ground. Cautiously picking it up, he raised his eyebrows at Ginny, who did not reply. He opened the paper, glancing at the list of names and the pictures. His face slowly dropped a bit more as he passed every person. When he looked back up at Ginny again, she saw the heartbreak on his face.
"They're…. they're listing the missing as killed," he whispered numbly. Ginny only then noticed the second to last picture of a young woman, possibly in her mid-twenties, hair spiked, a huge grin plastered on her face as she winked up at the two. "Oh, God…."
Dropping into the nearest chair, Remus' head fell into his hands, shaking slightly. Ginny had no clue how to react. His reaction seemed similar to the one after Dumbledore's death the year before, but she knew nothing of how to consol him. He looked disconnected from the world, rather like a rip in the wall separating dimensions.
"Remus, she's not dead," she whispered bravely, her voice trying to remain somewhat cheery and kind. It seemed like such a hard task and she wondered how Remus managed to do so. "The Ministry is full of a bunch of dolts. They're not sure of anything. It's just supposition."
He did not change his position, but Ginny felt sure she heard something out of him. "They could be right -"
"Are you trying to find ways to prove she's dead?" Ginny asked harshly. Remus' back, the only part of him she could see well, tightened.
"Ginny," he said. His voice remained even and controlled, though Ginny could hear something beyond that, something that almost bordered anger. "You weren't around in the first one. Everyone who went missing stayed missing. They were found dead only a short while later or else would never be found. Half of them ended up in St. Mungos, and some are still there. You've met Frank and Alice, I know you have."
Ginny stared at the ground, feeling ashamed. Remus seemed to notice it for his shoulders sagged and he finally turned around to face her.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean it all like that -"
Sniffing slightly and trying not to betray the fact that it really hit her in the heart, Ginny muttered, "I don't want to imagine Hermione or - or Ron or anyone else missing. I never want to find their bodies -"
"The problem is," Remus muttered, looking bitter, "we rarely find the bodies. The other side does. You remember the Inferius?"
Ginny shuddered. The dead bodies that walked over the battlefield at the school, eyes hollowed, skin ghostly pale, still lingered in her mind.
"I couldn't hit them." Remus shook his head, staring Ginny in the eye. "I couldn't hit any of them with curses. I knew half of them when they were alive. The other half couldn't kill because somewhere, someone else knew them. I could only freeze around them."
The fleeting image of Remus keeping towards the living half of the battle and getting off more Death Eaters than most while the other fought the bodies came to mind.
She gulped. "I never thought about that."
"Good," he replied. "You should never have to think about that, mainly at your age."
Glancing once again at the newspaper, her eyes trailed down to the very bottom of the page where neither of them managed to read to. Once she did, she let out a single sound, rather like a cross between a scream and a sob. Remus caught her before she fell over completely.
"What happened?" he asked, ripping the newspaper from her hands again. Once he scanned the page again, he saw.
The last picture on the page contained a picture of two people, both rather joyful looking. Both with red hair. One man, one woman.
Molly and Arthur Weasley stared at Remus from the page before he dropped it on the ground.
"They're dead!" she sobbed, gripping his arm painfully tight. Remus stared at the fallen page in shock.
"They may just be missing -" he whispered.
"You said it yourself!" she hollered, moving out of Remus' grip and staring at him, still crying. "You said they had no clue that they were even missing!"
"They may have just found out -"
"THEY DIDN'T!" she screamed, reaching out and plummeting her fists into his chest. Remus lost his breath quickly. She was certainly stronger than she looked. "You promised me!"
Remus grabbed her shoulders, moving her arms away from him long enough to continue breathing normally. "Ginny, no one could have promised," he wheezed.
"So you admit they're dead?" she asked, voice low and angry.
He hated himself for it. He nodded.
She dissolved into tears, dropping her head into his chest. Remus grimaced as he felt newly formed bruises crush under her. Her body shook as she broke down, one atom at a time until there was nothing left.
"I hate this," she whispered numbly as Remus stroked her hair. "First Harry and now Mum and Dad -" With a frantic gulp of air, she broke away from him. "Whoever the hell did it, I'm after them!"
Remus grabbed her elbow again and pulled her back. "Ginny, if we were to avenge everyone who killed someone in this war, there wouldn't be many of us left, would there?" Bending to her eye level, he added, "You still have me here, Ginny. And trust me when I say I don't want to see you in there next."
Her eyes darkened again as she yelled, "If they're killing so many people, I think everyone would want to see me in there next."
Remus bit his lip before saying slowly, "This is what I meant before, Ginny. It happens during every war -"
"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL!" she stormed, glaring openly at him. She batted his hand away violently. "Stop it! I don't need you - You don't understand -"
Another voice broke the fight. "What are you doing, Miss Weasley?"
Ginny turned to find Severus in his wheelchair, watching her with interest. She picked up the newspaper without taking her eyes off of him and threw it at his face. Severus opened it delicately as though nothing happened. "See what you did?" she snarled at him. "It's all your fault!" She launched herself at him but Remus kept his grasp firm on her. Severus regarded her with a coldly indifferent face.
"Ginny, please don't blame him," Remus reasoned, pulling her back as her arms flailed. "He was here the whole time - He couldn't have done it!"
Her frantic clawing subsided slightly and Remus relaxed his grip very slightly. She turned her brown eyes onto Remus. "Who did it, then?"
"I have no clue," he whispered. Ginny's shoulders slumped as she gave up completely. Remus slowly moved his hands from her, letting her loose to move by her own. 'We should just be glad it wasn't everyone,' Remus found himself thinking. Luckily, he had the sense to not say it aloud.
"If you don't mind," Severus interrupted, still staring Ginny down, "I need to discuss several matters with Lupin." He jerked his head to the hallway and Remus excused himself, following Severus.
"Yes?" Remus answered once in the hall.
Severus stared at him for a moment. "I'm hoping the battle has not addled with your brain. If case it has escaped your notice, the full moon is in several days." Remus opened his mouth but Severus spoke over him. "I do not think anyone could ever be comfortable with something" - he stressed the last syllable - "like you in it. I would gladly make the Wolfsbane Potion, if only for my own safety, but I do not trust Miss Weasley around the ingredients."
In all truth, it had escaped Remus' mind in the rush of things. He sighed. "Severus, she's not going to ruin anything -"
"You misunderstand me. She's insane at the moment, Lupin. You can see it yourself. She's becoming a wild animal, and with any chance, she'll be trying to kill herself. You know very well that wolfsbane is a poison and nothing else unless mixed with the proper ingredients."
Remus saw Severus' point. However, it did not seem anything like Ginny to try to kill herself. When he glanced to the other room, though, he saw Ginny on the chair, blank stare planted on her face, tears dripping from her eyes, teeth bared in a near snarl at the wall before her.
Turning back to Severus, Remus whispered, "She wouldn't do something that stupid, Severus. Think of what you're saying."
"I'm saying she's depressed. I remember you acted rather similar when that mutt died." Severus raised his eyebrows.
The first days after Sirius' death came to Remus' mind. He did indeed act strangely for a while, as everyone else did. Plenty of depression, anger, denial, and violence marked Remus' first reactions until he placed himself in Dumbledore's orders to be sent off somewhere for a mission that took his mind off the pain. However, he never went near a suicide attempt.
'Because you're needed in the war,' came the sinister whisper in his ear. 'You only stopped yourself because there was enough going on without your death to add to it.'
"I did not," Remus whispered, closing his eyes. "And she's fine."
Severus shrugged. "If you insist. It'll only be a matter of getting the ingredients." He looked Remus over quickly. "I'll need to try the storerooms at Hogwarts as you appear, ah, financially unable to buy the ingredients."
Remus felt his face flush slightly. "I suppose so," he muttered, grinding his teeth.
Severus glanced past Remus and down at the wheelchair wheels. "You'll have to go," he muttered. "I can't move in this damn thing."
Nodding, Remus turned but paused. "How much of what?" he asked without turning.
He was greeted with a sigh. "Take this," Severus muttered, pressing a wad of parchment into Remus' hand. "I don't trust you enough to remember everything. I wrote it all there last night."
Remus glanced at the list and frowned. If he had known the ingredients on that paper kept him sane every month, he would have wondered how drunk the person was. "Just these?"
"Yes," Severus answered in clipped tones.
Remus continued walking, not bothering to turn back to Severus. His decision to invite the man seemed to backfire on him. Severus would never change, Remus decided. He would always remain the killer, the traitor, a Death Eater with a snaky attitude.
'You wanted Harry here with you,' came the small voice in his head, sounding meek. 'You wanted anyone here, really. Severus is the best you can hope for right now.'
Sighing, Remus reached the front door and grabbed a light cloak from next to it. Once it swung around his shoulders, he gave Ginny a small smile and disappeared out the door into the snow. Apparating came too easily too him as he wanted to leave. The gates of Hogwarts came into view as he landed, coughing in the cold air. A trickle of rain started to fall onto his head and he sighed while knocking on the gates. Of course, no one could hear him. With another sigh, he took out his wand and cast a quick Patronus Charm. A large Tasmanian Devil burst from the end of his wand and jumped away.
He waited in silence, waiting for someone to get him from inside the castle. Soon, however, a returning Patronus met him at the gate. A click announced the opening of the bars then the Patronus disappeared before his eyes. Remus entered the gates slowly and made to walk up the steep slope when a carriage crossed his path, the large and skeletal horse that pulled it pausing in front of him.
"Thanks," Remus murmured, climbing in. The thestral pulled him along to the front doors of the castle. He got out of the carriage again, passing the thestral and feeling it grab the corner of his robes with sharp teeth. Remus turned back and saw the thestral playfully nibbling on the edge of his robes. After giving it a quick pat on the head, Remus managed to get away inside the castle.
Coming down the stairs was Minerva McGonagall, who asked, "Yes, Remus?"
He pulled the slip of paper from his back pocket, unfolding. "Severus needs some potions ingredients. Could I grab some from the classroom?"
She gave him a curiously suspicious look. "What potion?"
"Wolfsbane," he answered, lowering his voice slightly.
She sighed in relief. "Alright. I was just worried that he would be trying to make something else to heal himself. He was insane with it for a while."
Worry spread through Remus' head. "These are the right ingredients, then? Not ones for another potion?"
She glanced at the list, frowning. "These look right. Go ahead and take them. You know where to go."
"What happened to everyone?" Remus asked cautiously. "The school isn't closing, is it?"
Minerva shook her head, looking a bit miserable. "It's opening up again very soon. The only problem is that we're only going to have a few students returning. Those who - who survived are wanted at home and now there's not even a hundred left."
Remus quickly thanked her and walked down to the dungeons as quickly as possible without running. The school seemed too empty to be comfortable. Once in the cold classroom, he found the next door that Severus usually kept sealed to his storerooms that the students could never access.
The stench of hundreds of raw ingredients hit Remus' nose and made his eyes water. He had never liked potions partly because of the scents and partly because of the exact measurements. Remus glanced at the list, trying to make it out through the dank and dark air around him. It took nearly a half hour to find everything and measure them out on scales he found at one corner and the silver knife next to them. The same thought ran through his head the entire time: 'If I knew all of these were in that potion, I would have never taken it.'
Finally, after collecting the ingredients into small bags at the other end of the room, Remus tied the ends of them all together to hold easier. On the way out, he thanked Minerva for letting him in and found the thestral outside the door once more.
"You're not going to leave me along anytime soon, are you?" he asked the horse. It would have smiled if it could. Remus sighed and climbed into the carriage again. The journey seemed longer than ever back down to the gates because the thestral kept turning to lick Remus though it could not reach.
"Could you stop trying to bite me?" Remus asked impatiently. The thestral halted and gave him a reproachful look. "I'm not covered in blood, alright?"
He glanced at his dripping sleeve.
A faint glimmer of red was on the frayed edge.
Cursing loudly, Remus checked his arm and saw nothing there. He jumped out of the carriage and tried to Apparate, only to feel the pain of being hit over the head with an iron bar from the spells around the school. He groaned and glared at the thestral once before glancing at the gates. They appeared within easy reach. He darted toward them, running faster than he had ever run, feeling the cold air whip at his eyes and through his hair. When he reached them, he shoved them open with a shoulder and let them fly closed as he Apparated back to his house only to end up in front of the door.
Once he managed to bash the door open, he stared around the room. No one. Remus ran into the hallway, finding his bedroom door closed. With another bashing of the door, he entered the room to find Ginny holding a bloody cloth and Severus looking rather angry and in pain.
"What happened?" Remus asked, staring wide-eyed from one to the other.
"He's bleeding," Ginny muttered, folding the cloth and placing it to the side as she charmed another wet and handed it to Severus. He winced.
"Apparently someone still has control over the Dark Mark," he growled, bend low over his left arm, laying the cloth over it and seizing up.
"Let me see." Remus waited but Severus made no move to show him his arm. "Don't bother being modest, Severus. I've seen the Dark Mark before. I'm not going to say anything, but only heal it."
Severus glared up at him and removed the cloth that managed to soak through in blood in so little time. The Dark Mark on his arm pulsed black, blood running from the edges of the scarred area, outlining the skull with vivid red. Remus bit his lip and took another cloth from Ginny, wiping away most of the blood and ordering her to grab a bottle from the bathroom.
"Looks bad," Remus whispered, pressing the cloth down hard. "Does that hurt?"
"I thought you said you wouldn't talk," Severus growled. "Why are you out of breath?"
The running had only just caught up with Remus. He shook his head. "I just noticed blood on my sleeve and didn't realize it before. How long have you been bleeding?"
"I only noticed it twenty minutes ago," Severus answered. He winced again when Remus pressed too hard on the wound as he spoke.
"Twenty minutes? Severus -" Remus sighed angrily and waited for Ginny to return with the correct bottle. "This is going to sting, but you deserve it for not telling me earlier." Remus opened the bottle with one hand and scooped some of the pale contents into his hand, moving the cloth quickly and smearing it on. Severus' arm shook for a moment, but he did not say anything.
"What is that?" Ginny asked.
"A type of healing salve," Remus answered. He glanced at Severus. "You should know it by now. The one we kept using on you when this happened is the exact same type." Once it mixed in until blended, Remus pulled away, watching Severus' face. It remained carefully blank. "Better now?"
Ginny placed the lid back on the jar and excused herself.
"Did you get the potion ingredients?" Severus asked rather than answering.
"Answer me first." Remus crossed his arms. "Is it better?"
Severus glanced at the wound. The bleeding certainly slowed down. "Yes. Now, did you -"
"I did." Remus pointed at where he placed the bags when he first entered the room. Severus retrieved them, glancing through the contents.
"You managed to do something right," he muttered, closing the bags again.
Remus sighed. "Severus, I do plenty of things right. You just never bother to notice anything good about anyone else. If you're going to be happy here, you're going to have to learn to live with us."
A glare came from Severus. "I do see enough good in people," he snapped. "Is it a problem that I care not to point it out glaringly and appreciate mediocrity like the rest of you?"
Remus quirked a smile. "You agreed to coming, I hope you know."
"If I rejected, I would have been hounded by Poppy." Severus turned away from Remus. "I'll be starting on your - your happy potion," he muttered, moving the wheels of the wheelchair to steer out of the room. Remus let him pass and found Ginny returning a moment later.
"What's he doing?" she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Making the potion," Remus answered, stretching backwards onto the bed. His back still hurt from sleeping on the smaller chair. "He'll find anyway to keep at that for the rest of the day, I know it."
"How long does it take to make, then?"
Remus shrugged. "I've never seen him make it, really. He's always refused to let me watch. I doubt it takes too long, however."
"I'm going to join him, I think. You should sleep some more; you look tired." Ginny left before Remus could answer.
Remus closed his eyes and tried to sleep again, but the sounds of Severus moving around kept waking him. In the end, he settled for joining them in the other room.
Severus was glaring at Ginny, who looked shocked as she held a silver cutting knife over a plant.
"I'm perfectly fine around this!" she yelled at him, frowning. Remus remained out of the conversation.
Severus reached out for the knife but Ginny pulled back. "You said I could help, so I am!"
"What is it?" Remus asked.
"He won't let me cut the Wolfsbane because he thinks I'm going to kill myself with it!" she said to Remus, glaring at Severus. "I can do it myself!"
"I can do it," Severus snapped, finally grabbing the knife and using it to cut up some sort of bulb-like plant. Ginny almost snarled at him. "She knows it's poisonous to humans when brewed and I know she's going to try to -"
"I'm not going to kill myself with it!" she stormed. Glancing at Remus, she snarled at him, "I'm leaving. That's it. I can't stand that monster."
Remus reached out and grabbed her, keeping her in place. "Severus, I told you she wasn't going to do anything. Can't you accept that? Ginny, you shouldn't help Severus is he doesn't want help."
Both glared at Remus this time, so he glared back. "You're both going to need to agree."
Ginny muttered something that sounded like an apology and walked out of the room. Remus heard a slamming of doors soon after. Severus ignored it and continued cutting up ingredients.
"You should be thanking me for it," Severus muttered, placing the cut up Wolfsbane into a cauldron.
"I did. Thank you again, Severus."
Severus ignored Remus, too, and started stirring. "Trust me. By midnight, Miss Weasley will have done something stupid. It's usual Gryffindor behavior."
Remus shook his head and walked out of the room to follow Ginny.
Later in the afternoon, after Ginny decided to walk around outside and Severus wheeled himself off to the other side of the house to 'do something that you wouldn't care about, Lupin', Remus walked over to the kitchen where the potion continued to brew. It smelled horrid as usual, but he held his breath to look into the cauldron.
The funny thing was that it looked more empty than usual. Ginny returned soon after with an empty mug. When she placed it on the counter, she explained something about how cold it was outside and pulled out one of the books from Remus' bookshelf to occupy herself for a while.
A Tasmanian Devil symbolizes self-defense, ability to use perseverance when needed, and understanding of knowing when to fight.