Disclaimer: Uhh, getting hard to think of new ways to say that I don't own anyone or any place in this here story. It deserves a warning for language (lots and lots of swearing!) and some mild shounen-ai. There's a lump of that in this chapter, near the end. You've been warned.
Chapter sixteen: Picking up the pieces
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The sun was shining, somewhere high above them. But in the pit, left by the disappearance of the Temple of the Ancients, its light was pale and warmed no one.
Sephiroth had the Black Materia. And there really wasn't much they could do about it.
"We are fucked." Cid said, putting it simply. "He summons that sucker on us, ZAM! That's it. Game over. We're dead. Damn it. We should have save points or some shit like that, like in those games I used ta play as a kid. Just go back and try again. Crap. Real life sucks."
"Shut the fuck up!" Reno screamed from his side of the pit. He and Elena were sitting apart from the others, in their own secluded corner of misery.
After Sephiroth had left, Aeris, Barret and Reno, after he'd regained consciousness, had descended to the pit, not knowing what else to do at the moment. Basically everyone besides the two members of Avalanche was somehow injured, and it took a while to heal and bandage everyone enough that they could walk out to the jungle, and to the planes.
But no one was too eager to leave, to climb back up and face the rest of the world again. Even Aeris seemed too depressed to smile genuinely as she sat between Barret and Zax whilst Cid and Reno tossed insults at each other. Cloud sat next to the Soldier, and Elena was on the PHS, reporting to Rude what had happened.
"Soldier..." Barret growled with a low voice when Cid and Reno finally fell quiet, "you still loyal to your General? 'Coz if you are..."
"That wasn't Sephiroth." Zax almost lashed out, staring straight ahead. "If you missed it, I tried to kill him already. 'Cause that wasn't Seph, not the man I knew."
"Well then who the hell was it?!"
"... Jenova..." Cloud muttered, proving that he was listening and not so far in his own little world as the others had thought. Zax swore and closed his eyes, leaning the back of his head against the uneven wall.
"She's controlling him, I can feel it. More than before. It feels like... they're one, now. I don't know how or why." The blond continued, looking up at the Soldier. Eyes still closed, Zax lifted a hand to his shoulder.
"It's ok, Cloud. I feared it would come to that... he was so... caught up with her already five years back... and I couldn't do anything to help."
"Well boo-hoo..." Cid muttered, still glaring at Reno. Zax opened his eyes and leaned forward so that he could see the pilot.
"Excuse, me, Highwind, what was that?"
"Listen, kid, the man is nuts, ok? He's got the Black Materia and he's gonna bring the Meteor down on our asses, ok? He thinks he'll be able to become one with the Planet! So, I don't think it really matters anymore who he is or what you could have done differently five freakin' years ago. We either sit and wait for death or find the bastard and kick his ass, ok?" the pilot spread his hands and grinned madly, which finally brought a real smile on Aeris' lips and made Barret chuckle. Zax didn't seem too amused but eventually nodded.
"I know all that, intellectually. But I still don't like the idea of killing my best friend."
"But will you do it?" Barret asked, "Because that's the real question here."
"... Yes."
Silence descended in the pit again, at least on the Avalanche side. Elena was still talking on her PHS, and Reno was busying himself with zapping bugs with his electric stick.
"'Become one with the Planet'... that's mad talk!" Barret snorted after a while. Aeris had told them most of what Sephiroth had told her earlier, and even thought the plan was simple, even with its monstrous scale, it was still a lot to handle. "What the hell'll he do then, with most of the Planet dead and the rest scared outta their minds? Play god?"
"He plans to rule the Planet after it recovers. And everyone on it." Aeris said and shivered. "I didn't mention this earlier, with the Turks listening, but he... he said something about.. making me... his queen."
Her voice had fallen to almost a whisper before the last words, so only Barret and Zax heard them. Cloud let out a surprised noise, but that might have been because Zax started at her words.
"His WHAT?!" Barret roared so loud that even the Turks were startled. Aeris blushed furiously and Zax let out a very un-Soldier-like giggle.
"What? What's going on?" Cid asked
"Now I'm sure it wasn't the real Seph... damn he could win a whole war, but barely had the nerve to ask a pretty girl if he could buy her a drink..." Zax muttered and let out the strange giggle again. Cloud shrugged beside him.
"That crazy fucker ain't gettin' anywhere near you as long as I still stand!" Barret just about growled to Aeris, the muscles in his arms flexing.
"Have to agree with big guy on this one..." Cid said after Aeris had repeated her earlier words to him, "one's not supposed to marry into ultimate power."
"Dork." Zax muttered but grinned. "Don't worry, Aeris, we won't let him near you. Unless you want to, of course..."
"Of course not!" Aeris shouted, shocked, and shook her head when the Soldier laughed.
Across the pit, Elena finally closed her PHS and turned to the others. "Wallace, your kid is safe, and so is the woman. Reno, we need to get back as soon as possible and give our report."
Reno swore and got up, spitting on the ground. "A report? A fuckin' report?! 'Well, Mr President, the world as we know it is coming to an end! How about that? Now I'd like to get my bonus so that I can go and get drunk and not see it coming, ok?' How's that for a report?"
Elena didn't bother to answer him, she just stood up and dusted her clothes. Across the pit, Zax gently nudged Aeris and pointed at the Turks. The flower girl nodded and started to get up, waking Barret from his dark thoughts. The leader of Avalanche punched Cid with his gun-arm, and the Soldier pulled Cloud to his feet.
Slowly they made their way back up to ground level, and started the long, humid jungle path back towards the planes.
"... And that's how Cait Sith was lost." Reeve finished his report, staring at the floor at the President's office. The large desk was before him, but he could only see its shadow, and sense the cold, almost indifferent glare Rufus was giving him.
"Is that all you have to say, Reeve? You haven't forgotten anything?"
At that, Reeve raised his head, nervously chewing the inside of his cheek. "Sir?"
Rufus stood from his comfortable chair as the office's door opened and Rude stepped in noiselessly and moved to stand behind the head of Urban development, making Reeve feel uncomfortable.
"So far, you've reported to us of the movements of Avalanche quite superficially. I'm afraid that you have quite a bit of explaining to do. Like, for example, when were you going to inform us of the continued existence of one Zackery Lindeman, also well known as Sephiroth's friend and second in command?"
Reeve swallowed and thought quickly. The Turks must have informed the blond about this. "I... I didn't think you needed to be concerned with it. He has apparently joined the Avalanche, and doesn't seem to have an agenda of his own."
"Oh really?" Rufus asked, raising one blond eyebrow. "We'll have to see about that. I could let this slip, but unfortunately it has come to my attention that you haven't been keeping me up to date on a lot of other things that have happened amongst those you should be spying on."
"Sir, unfortunately the group doesn't trust Cait Sith so that they'd talk of all their plans in front of him... it." 'And whose fault that is, you spoiled bastard? Telling them yourself that it's Shin-Ra behind Cait, threatening Marlene...'
Rude's glare felt strong enough to bore through his back, and Reeve was sure the bald Turk could read his thoughts. He cleared his throat nervously and continued. "I assure you, sir, I've given you all the information I've received myself, and believed that would be of use to you."
The look Rufus gave him made him wonder if everyone here could read minds except him. The President clearly didn't trust him, didn't believe his words. But if he started to explain further, to defend himself, they'd only be more assured that he was keeping things from them.
Rufus was still staring at him calculatingly, and Reeve was sure that his jacket was already smoking where Rude's eyes met his back. 'Maybe the man has pure energy coming from his eyes and has to keep the sunglasses on to keep from killing everyone he sees... damn comics...'
Reeve sensed danger a split second before Rufus lifted an eyebrow and nodded slightly to Rude. He expected to die when the large man grabbed his throat from behind and almost lifted him from the ground. Reeve tried to pry the steel-strong fingers away before they choked him completely, but his strength was no match to Rude's. Then Rufus' face appeared in front of him, just as the world started to go black at the corners of his eyes.
"Fine, Reeve. You get one more chance. I don't care how you do it, but get another robot to Avalanche NOW, and report to me EVERY single thing you hear and find out. If one of them sneezes, I want to know it. All right?"
Choking, feeling his tongue make its way out of his mouth, Reeve nodded as vigorously as the hands on his throat allowed.
"Good. Do we understand each other now?"
Another nod, and a feeble punch to the steely arms that threatened to squeeze the life out of him. Reeve had his eyes closed so he didn't see the President nod, didn't get a warning before the strong hand let him fall to the carpeted floor, panting for breath.
"Good. Well then, let's get back to work. I expect a report as soon as the new robot reaches them. You're dismissed."
Reeve was still clutching his throat gingerly and trying to breath without heaving in lungfuls of air, so Rude picked him up and half dragged, half walked the wobbly man to the door and outside. There he was dumped to a chair in the waiting room.
"We'll be keeping an eye on you..." the quiet Turk said with his low voice, patted Reeve on the cheek and turned away.
Reeve sat in the chair for a few minutes, loosening his tie again and again, trying to get his body to stop shaking. Summons have mercy, Scarlet was preferable to Rufus!
It was long into the afternoon when the weary group reached the end of the jungle and spotted the three planes. They had traveled in silence, stopping only to wet their throats, but now they all, Turk and Avalanche alike, stopped to stare at the sun burning on the western sky.
"So. This is it." Elena said quietly. There was a tone of sadness in her voice, but whether it was for the nearing end of the world or for the end of their adventure remained unclear. Shaking her head, the blonde turned to Aeris. "Is there really no hope?"
"Well, it will take a while for Sephiroth to gather the spiritual energy he'll need to summon the Meteor, but unless we can stop him before that, there isn't much we can do..." the Cetra answered equally quietly. The two women were left a little behind, and their words didn't reach the men.
"So... there IS still hope? If we can find him?"
Aeris shrugged and smiled weakly. "There's always hope, I suppose. All the more hope if you've had a decent night's sleep, which I haven't for a while."
Elena chuckled and glanced at Reno. "Well then, we better get back to Midgar and report all this. It was... kinda fun hangin' with you guys, but I suppose that if we meet again, we'll have to fight each other."
"Let's hope not." Aeris said as a goodbye as the Turks started towards their airplane. Well, at least Elena did.
Reno lifted his arm, electricity crackling at the tip of his staff which he aimed at Cloud's head. "This is for Tseng, you bastard..."
"No." Zax stepped between them before the others had much time to react in any way, and shielded Cloud with his body. He stared straight in the Turk's eyes. "Reno, please. For whatever friendship we once had. Don't. Seph has the Black Materia, it'll all be over soon. What does it matter anymore?"
The redhead seemed ready to fry his old friend, but eventually turned the rod off and lowered it, swearing colourfully. "Get the fuck out of here, now. And the next time we meet, we'll be enemies. Got that?"
"...Thanks, Reno. Take care..." Zax muttered and started towards the planes, an arm around Cloud's shoulders. Elena reached out a hand to Reno, but the redhead pulled his arm away and stormed off. The blonde shrugged and started to follow him.
"Hey! Turk! What about my girl?!" Barret roared before she'd gotten two steps. "Are ya gonna let her and Shera go?"
Elena shrugged again. "We'll see what the President says. But I guess if there's nothing we can do, we might as well let them go..."
"Elena shut the fuck up! You can't go around promising shit like that to the freakin' enemy! Now get your ass to the plane!" Reno shouted angrily, waiting at the plane's side. "You're a Turk, not a humanitarian!"
"Yeah? You're a Turk, not a human!" Cid shouted out to Reno and laughed when the Turk flipped him off.
As soon as Elena got to the plane, the Turks climbed in and took off. The rest were left standing on the grassy field, watching as the plane disappeared out of sight.
"We might as well start to head on back... but not before I get something to eat! I'm so fuckin' hungry I could eat a chocobo and chase the rider..." Cid said and jumped into the Tiny Bronco, digging around in the cockpit until he found a bag of food. The others came to sit on the sunny grass beside the small plane, and they had a quick snack and a rest.
"So... what are we gonna do with that?" Zax asked after they'd finished eating, and pointed at the plane Cloud had stolen from the Gold Saucer.
Cid shrugged. "We might as well keep it. The owner's probably got a few of them, and if the Meteor's gonna kill us all, what good would returning it do anymore?"
"Cid! Stealing it in the first place was bad enough, now you're saying we keep it?" Aeris said, holding back laughter. The pilot smiled and winked.
"Ok, let's put it this way: we can use it to save the world! Now that's something even the owner will be happy about, even if he never sees his precious plane again. Am I right, or am I right?"
Now both Aeris and Zax laughed out loud, and even Barret cracked a smile. Cloud kept glaring at the plane suspiciously. "But..." the blond started, startling everyone, "how are we gonna take it with us?"
"Well, pretty boy, you're gonna fly it, of course! You flew it here, you fly it outta here!" Cid said, his grin wide enough to threaten to split his face in two. Cloud turned pale and seemed terrified enough to bolt for the jungle. Zax laughed and wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders.
"Don't worry, I'll fly it. The rest of you can take the Bronco, ok?"
"Sure. Well, let's get to it, then!" Cid said and stood up, dusting off the breadcrumbs from the front of his shirt and from the scarf he always wore around his neck.
Cid, Aeris and Barret climbed into the Bronco, but Cloud decided to fly with Zax. The stolen plane was faster than the Tiny Bronco, so the two would arrive at Cosmo Canyon before the others. Cid would radio the desert town and let them know that they were coming. The three were still debating whether he should also let them know of everything what had happened or wait until they were all at the Canyon when they took off.
They were far over the sea when Zax finally broke the silence in the small plane.
"Hey, Cloud, you still awake?" the Soldier was flying the plane with relative ease, and with far less stress than the blond, who took a moment to answer.
"... How could I sleep in this?"
Zax chuckled and glanced quickly over his shoulder. "I'm not that bad at flying, am I?"
"No, but... I just want out."
"It's gonna take a few more hours before we're even near the Canyon, try to relax. I promise I won't let us fall."
Cloud fell quiet again and Zax fixed his eyes on the horizon. The sun was almost on the same level with the plane, falling to the west a bit to his right. The light almost blinded him, even though he'd changed their course so that the sun wouldn't be straight ahead of them. Everything seemed yellow or red, the whole world bathed in different, warm shades. Like on fire. The Soldier wondered if it would all end in flames. Probably. Or then the Planet would just explode when the Meteor collided with it.
He was so lost in morbid thoughts that he almost didn't hear the quiet click of the backseat's seatbelt open, and almost didn't see the thin arms before they'd snaked around his chest. Zax started and half jumped, mentally cursing that he'd let his guard down and immediately wondering why he didn't dare to trust the blond. Cloud was only gently hugging him, the thin arms barely long enough to reach around the chair and his chest.
"Zax? Did you really worry about me? When I was at the Temple?"
The Soldier cleared his throat to buy some time to relax. Once he was sure his voice wouldn't shake, he glanced over his shoulder, almost bumping his cheek to Cloud's nose. The clone had leaned his chin on the seat's side, beside the headrest.
"Of course! I mean, no one knew what was inside it. Shit, I was worried sick!" He swallowed hard when Cloud leaned closer, brushing their faces together. He had been worried and he'd missed the blond enough to make him seriously wonder about his true feelings. But now he felt that the invisible barrier between them was rising again. A barrier that seemed to come completely from him.
"I'm glad. I was worried about you too, Zax. I missed you... a lot." The blond held him tighter, now, and the yellow spikes tickled the Soldier's cheek. He felt like crying when he heard Cloud's next words. "... I love you, Zax..."
This time, the dark-haired man couldn't keep the tremble from his voice when he tried to distract the blond. "So, you're feeling all right now? In your head, I mean. Thinking straight?"
Cloud pulled back at that, slightly annoyed. Zax was relieved, but disappointed too, when Cloud's left hand rose from his chest to run through the blond spikes. The stubborn hairs jumped straight back up as soon as they'd passed through the fingers.
"Yes, I feel much better than before. 'They' aren't bothering me."
"Listen, uh... I've been wondering, how much do you remember about... you know, before... sorry, I mean... damn it, I don't know what I mean..."
"Before what?" Cloud pulled completely away from him now, and sat back into his seat. "What should I remember? Being Hojo's prisoner? Vincent? You and Sephiroth? Mom?"
"I'm sorry. It's just that Hojo... well, he said that the Jenova... the Jenova-cells you were created from wouldn't keep memories or personality, nothing like that, and that's why he put my memories into you. Memories about the real Cloud, what he was like, and Seph, and my feelings for the both of you... so you should really only know my thoughts and memories, but you seem to remember other things, too." While speaking he feared that he was saying the wrong words in a completely wrong way. His only answer was silence. After a long, very quiet moment Zax dared a look behind. "Cloud?"
The glowing blue eyes were fixed on the horizon, through the small window at their left. The Soldier tried a few more times to get a word, even a reaction from the blond, but Cloud wouldn't even look at him.
"Cloud? Are you ok?" Zax glanced over his shoulder again just in time to see the freezing, teary look the blond gave him.
"You think I only love you as a mirror of your old feelings for me? I know I'm just a disposable clone, but I never thought you thought so little of me. You must really hate me." Cloud said quietly, his tone so cold the words felt like icicles. Zax swallowed hard and hoped he could talk to the blond face to face, without having to worry about the plane. This was a stupid time to start asking questions like that...
"Hey, Cloud, I never meant it like that! Shit, you KNOW I care for you! A lot! And I believe that your feelings are real. I've just been wondering how much you remember, that's all. I..." he wanted to say 'I love you', but he didn't dare. He certainly had had very warm feelings developing for the original Cloud five years ago, but knowing this one was just a clone, having seen him grow up in a tank full of Mako... it was just too much. But clearly the blond had feelings, and he'd just managed to hurt them badly.
But if Cloud could remember everything, wasn't he still basically the same? The body was a clone, but had the soul somehow persevered? It had been hard to tell anything when Cloud had been distracted by 'them', or catatonic, or just plain confused, but now he was completely awake and sane. This was his chance to get to know Cloud, and he was fast screwing it.
"I don't hate you. I could never hate you..." his words were quiet but honest, and he prayed silently that Cloud would believe them. "I hate Hojo for what he did to you, and Seph, and me. And I hate myself for not being able to do anything, and I guess I'm angry at Seph for not doing anything either. But I don't hate you, and I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry. You're the one who should hate me... come on, you can punch me for it?"
There was no answer to his words, no mercy for his begging tone, no appreciation for his attempt of humour. It reminded him very much of the few times he'd managed to really piss off Sephiroth, past the phase where it could still be worked out with just a few bruises. 'You sure know how to pick 'em, Zax...' the Soldier congratulated himself, 'And you sure know how to bend your foot all the way to your mouth...'
"Cloud?" He dared one more time after a long moment of silence, "I'm sorry... I guess we're both really tired right now... I didn't mean it. Please, shout at me, punch me, anything. Just not the silent treatment, ok? I never could cope with that one..."
When no answer came, Zax turned to get a good look at the backseat, to make Cloud look at him, to see
... that the blond was fast asleep. The Soldier thought Cloud was faking it at first, but he didn't believe anyone would voluntarily drool over themselves just to look convincing.
After giving Nanaki a brief report Cid started to toy with the radio, listening in on other people's conversations. The voices carried over the plane's noise to the backseat as only murmurs, which was soothing to listen to. Aeris yawned and moved to a more comfortable position, leaning her head on the backrest, away from the sun. Barret was staring morosely at the world far below them, his thoughts on Marlene and the little girl's safety. Listening to the continuous noises, knowing that she didn't have to worry about flying or landing this plane, Aeris felt her eyelids grow heavy, and soon she fell asleep.
She opened her eyes to see a forest around her. The sun, high above her head, shone through the holes in the forest's ceiling, and the light gave the place an eerie glow. Still, she recognized the place immediately.
It wasn't far from her childhood home in Icicle Inn. Her mother had taken her through here many times when she'd been a child, and she'd spent many days here alone after that.
"... It's the Sleeping forest..." she muttered to herself and smiled, realizing that she must be asleep. Even if the place wasn't real now, it was comfortable to be here, in a place she'd always felt at peace in. It was years now since she'd last been through here, in fact the last time was when she was returning home from the nearby city of the Ancients, only to find that Shin-Ra had captured her parents. Furious, she had followed them all the way to Midgar, where she'd eventually met the other members of Avalanche. It all seemed to be so long ago, but the forest was still as she remembered it.
"Of course it is, this is a dream..." she reminded herself and laughed when her words startled a small flock of birds into the air.
"Mind if I join it?"
Aeris almost jumped when a voice spoke quietly behind her, and whirled around. Her surprise melted into joy, though, when she saw a familiar face. "Mother!" She rushed towards the older woman, but Ifalna smiled and hid behind a tree, peeking out from the other side. Aeris stopped and laughed, bowing her head slightly.
"Of course you can join my silly dream, mom." Then her mood darkened. "You... heard about the Black Materia already, didn't you?"
Ifalna nodded, stepping out from behind the tree but keeping her distance. "Yes. But all hope's not lost yet, there's still a chance to stop Sephiroth." There was a greenish glow surrounding her. Aeris thought it was from Ifalna's connection to the Lifestream until she noticed its sickly hue.
"What can we do? Tell me, mother." She took a few steps towards Ifalna, feeling dread.
"We'll talk about it once you get back to Cosmo Canyon."
"All right." She wasn't completely convinced by her mother's words, but Ifalna was right, they could plan more easily once at the Canyon, with everyone else. Aeris sighed and shook her head, remembering something that she wouldn't be too comfortable talking about in front of the others. "Sephiroth, he's now... completely with her, isn't he? She stole him." Ifalna confirmed her words with a nod. "We know he wasn't a real Ancient, but still..."
They had talked about it a few times at the Canyon. Sephiroth wasn't a real Ancient, but Aeris and Ifalna had wondered if his blood would have been pure enough to strengthen their race.
"It was just an idea, but I still had hoped... oh it's no use to worry about it now... we have more important things to think about than getting little Cetras." Aeris winked at her mother and made the older woman laugh, even though it was a sad laugh.
"It should be the most important thing on our minds, but when the Planet is threatened this seriously, there really is no time for little ones until the catastrophe is averted."
"Until then, we just have to do our best, right?"
"... The hell are you doin'?"
"It won't be easy, but few things in life are, my child..." Ifalna grimaced as the green around her pulsated, growing stronger and enveloping her more tightly.
"Mother? What's wrong, are you in pain?!" Aeris reached out for her but she stepped away again.
"Taking us to Junon!"
"Mother!" Aeris called one more time before Ifalna and the whole forest disappeared from around her, the waking world disturbing her short rest.
"Why not Gongaga? We must be halfway over th' sea by now!"
"We're not! You wanna crash into the sea? I've tried it once, it's no picnic! We head to Junon, we can land on LAND and WALK to town, ok?"
"What's going on?" Aeris asked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Both Barret and Cid turned to her, the pilot controlling the plane with one bootless foot.
"We're almost outta fuel, so I'm taking us to Junon for a refill!" Cid shouted, winking at her. There was a glint in his eyes Aeris didn't quite trust. Barret didn't seem to trust it either.
"You're plannin' somethin', I can tell..."
"Yeah, I'm planning how far I can fly this baby before we're all out! Trust me! It'll only add a few more hours to the trip, and what do you two care, you can sleep back there! I'm the one who has ta fly this thing!" Cid screamed, now half angry, but the glint didn't go out of his eyes for a second. Aeris leaned over the pilot's seat, to look at what she believed was the fuel gauge. It was fast approaching 'EMPTY', so whatever else Cid was planning, at least he was telling them the truth about the fuel.
"All right then, Cid. But please hurry..." Aeris said, sitting back and tightening her seatbelt. Cid gave her another wink and a thumbs up. The pilot turned back to the controls, chuckling to himself, if the shaking shoulders could be trusted.
Barret tightened his seatbelt as well and checked his gun-arm before leaning over to Aeris' side. "I'm tellin' ya, girl, I don't trust that grin..."
With Cloud fast asleep, Zax had started to toy with the radio and had caught Cid's message to Nanaki about taking a short trip to Junon on the way. The Soldier remembered then to check whether they had enough fuel as well. Lucky for him, the tank was only halfway through.
The sun had set a while ago, the landscape below them only shades of black and blue. They'd crossed the sea already, and Zax guessed they were somewhere above Gongaga by now. He tried to look for the small town, but with the reactor gone the telltale greenish glow of the Mako wasn't there anymore to show him the way home. If the end of the world was truly coming, he wouldn't have too many chances to go back.
It wouldn't be long now before the lights of the Canyon would appear in the horizon. The Tiny Bronco and the trio would get there in the morning, or afternoon, depending how much time they'd spend in Junon. Zax guessed that he and Cloud would have to answer a bunch of questions before they would be allowed to retire for the night. Cid had let Nanaki know that the Black Materia had been lost, but the pilot had told only the basics of the whole adventure.
The radio grew quiet soon, and the complete silence added to the surrounding darkness was starting to make Zax sleepy. He slapped himself a few times to remain awake, and was relieved when the Canyon finally came into view. He didn't have the heart to wake Cloud who was still sleeping soundly in his seat. Zax looked over his shoulder to check that the blond had his seatbelt on just before starting to land in the valley close to the town.
Cloud woke up only when the plane's wheels met the ground and the ride became bumpy.
"Hold on, Cloud, I just need to stop this baby, and we're home..." Zax said loud enough to be heard. The blond gave a quiet noise as an answer, and the Soldier had to chuckle. He had been kicking himself mentally for the words he'd said, and he was sure it would take a long time before Cloud would forgive him. If he ever would.
The blond wouldn't accept his help in getting out of the plane after they'd stopped, and Zax thought there'd be a large hole in the back of his shirt where Cloud stared angrily through the walk up the stairs.
The guards greeted them solemnly, and Tifa, Nanaki and Yuffie were at the top of the stairs, waiting for them. Cloud just walked past them, not saying one word, not even looking at the three. Zax stopped and shrugged, trying to grin nonchalantly. "Don't mind him, he's... in a really bad mood. If I'm lucky, he won't chop my head off..."
"What happened? Cid told us Sephiroth got the Black Materia, but he didn't say much else. The Elders, Professor Gast and Ifalna have been locked up in the observatory ever since!" Tifa said before Nanaki or Yuffie could get a word out.
Zax rubbed at his eyes and sighed, waving a hand to Elder Bugenhagen who was floating their way. "I know you all wanna know NOW what happened, but I haven't really slept since we left here, as I don't count getting hit by a tranq a proper night's sleep. The others will be here tomorrow morning, can't we leave it until then?"
"You got hit with a tranquilizer? When?" Yuffie butted in.
"Yeah, at the Saucer. And Cid woke me up with a cigarette. See?" The Soldier had to grin when he showed the ninja the small scar which had almost disappeared from sight already. Nanaki chuckled.
"Hum hoo. Welcome back, Zax. We just ended our planning for tonight. We decided to continue tomorrow, after you're all back. Go and rest for now." Bugenhagen said. He'd stopped next to his grandson, and rested one hand on Nanaki's wide shoulders. The large beast nodded.
"Grandfather's right. We'll all think better in the morning."
"Yeah. Hey how's Vincent?" Zax asked, stretching his back which popped loudly.
"No way, old man. You don't tell us what happened, we don't tell you what happened!"
"Yuffie!" Tifa nudged at the ninja playfully, and she turned her raspberry from Zax to the fighter.
"He's been behaving." Nanaki commented shortly, voice full of mirth.
"Hey it's only fair!" Yuffie argued when Tifa wished the Soldier a good night and started to drag the Wutaian towards the inn. Nanaki and Bugenhagen also wished him a good night, and Zax returned the words before turning warily towards home.
Maybe he could sleep at the inn? No. He wanted to work this out with Cloud, preferably before it grew completely out of proportion. He didn't particularly WANT to do it, but there weren't many choices.
"Come on, Soldier, you can do this... you've fucked up enough in the past, you have too many regrets, you don't need any more. And no matter what you feel for the kid, you can't let it end like this. So, get to it!
"Yes, sir!
"That's my boy, I'll see you get a medal for this if you don't fuck up... again!"
Even if his quiet monologue didn't exactly convince Zax that this was what he needed to do, it did make him giggle as he walked towards the long ladder. "I'm so tired... maybe I'll just fall asleep and drool on him... that's adorable, right? He'll HAVE to forgive me..." a chuckle. "Ohh Lindeman, you are SO screwed..."
He climbed the ladder slowly, really not knowing what would wait for him at the small house he'd called home for the past months. Maybe Cloud would chop his head off. Maybe he'd drop something on him while he was still climbing the ladder. Maybe he'd be sleeping already. Maybe he'd have the teakettle on... 'I really don't want to do this...' Zax thought and almost stopped. It would be so easy to climb back down and go to the inn. He could face Cloud in the morning. Except that he wouldn't dare it any more than he did now. And then the others would be here. They'd ask questions. They'd all want to know why he was avoiding Cloud.
Zax didn't realize that his tired body hadn't stopped after all, that he'd already reached the small plateau. The door ahead of him was closed, but yellow light streamed out through the thin curtain in front of the small window. Cloud was still up, or then he'd left the light on for him.
He didn't want to go in, but it was probably the promise of a soft bed that lured his body to the door. He really didn't want to go in, but he didn't want to leave Cloud alone to think that he hated him. He didn't know what he truly felt for the blond right now, but he certainly didn't hate him.
"All right, Lindeman, this is it. The biggest moment of your life. Don't screw it.
"Gee thanks, no pressure or anything..." Maybe Cloud would believe that this other personality he seemed to be developing had said all those things.
Zax peeked warily into the small kitchen/living area, and was relieved not to see Cloud waiting for him with a weapon. The curtain in front of the bedchamber's door opening was slightly open, perhaps to tell him to get in. Or to leave Cloud room to swing his weapon.
"Cloud? Are you still awake?" he called out quietly and closed the door behind him. Leaving the Buster-sword by the door he was relieved to see Cloud's sword leaning against a wall, and his gun on the table. When he looked back up, he saw the blond standing in the open portal to the bedroom. "Hey. Please listen. I'm so sorry for what I said, it all came out wrong. All I can say is I was really tired--"
Cloud lifted a hand swiftly before he could finish, and the Soldier fell quiet. The blond took a few steps toward him and finally looked up, locking eyes with the nervous man.
"You think that I only love you because of your feelings that were put into me. But that's not true. I don't know why, or how, but I do remember things and feelings from... before. And I remember... I KNOW... that I loved you. I wasn't sure it was love, then, as I'd never been in love, but when I felt your love for me, I realized it was the same. I do love you, for real. I can't help it. Maybe I'll get over it some day. I won't bother you anymore, but I wanted you to know." Cloud lifted his small bag to his shoulder and turned to retrieve his sword. Zax, still mulling over his words, took a while to realize the blond was leaving, and hurried to stop him.
"Hey where are you going?"
"Away. Don't worry about it. You won't have to see me again."
"But... but I want to see you again! I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to talk with you, and be with you!"
"You hate me."
"I don't, Cloud, I don't!"
"It sounded like it on the plane..."
"I didn't mean it, I've told you that... look, to tell you the truth, I don't know if I love you the same as before, but I sure as hell don't hate you. I don't want to see you hurt, and I don't want to hurt you. Please, stay. Don't go."
Maybe it was the kicked puppy -look on Zax's face, or his pleading tone, or the fact that he had latched himself to Cloud's arm and anchored his feet to the floor, but Cloud did lower his bag and sword, and turned to look at the violet-eyed man. He opened his mouth to object, but the Soldier didn't give him a chance. Zax leaned forward quickly and pressed his lips to Cloud's. He loosened his death grip on the blond's arm and took a gentle hold on both arms instead, sliding his hands down. He pried open Cloud's fists so that the bag and the sword dropped completely to the floor, and pulled the palms up to his chest. He could feel Cloud's eyelashes on his cheeks as the blond blinked furiously, probably surprised by his mercurially changing moods.
Cloud didn't object when Zax started to guide him towards the bedroom. The Soldier didn't release his lips even when the backs of Cloud's legs bumped to the bed, and the blond almost lost his balance. Zax wrapped his arms quickly around him, then, and gently lowered him to the bed.
Cloud gasped when Zax finally pulled away from him, although not far. The Soldier pushed himself up on his arms, and looked down at the breathless blond.
"Well, now that I've got you where I want you..." Zax began with a wide, almost wicked grin, but sobered soon. "I'm sorry about earlier. Sometimes it's just hard for me to forget that you're... that I... well, you're getting another fine example of how to put your foot into your mouth!"
He was shushed by Cloud's hand suddenly covering his lips. "Zax... you think too much." The blond said, almost scolding. "Everything doesn't have to be so complicated. Let your heart decide, not your brain..."
"But..." Zax attempted to start when Cloud pulled his hand away, only to be muffled by it again.
"No buts. Don't listen to the brain, ok?"
Zax wondered where this side of Cloud had been hiding before, but guessed that it probably came from him. Sounded a lot like him, at least... he grinned behind the hand, and Cloud lowered it a bit.
"Done thinking yet?"
"Yes..." Zax grinned and lowered himself back on the smaller man, hiding his face between Cloud's shoulder and neck. It was a very warm and comfortable place to be, and smelled nice, too. He was surprised that only a few moments before he had been sure that the blond would kill him the minute he got in. And now they were this close! Cloud was right, though, he thought too much these days... five years back, he'd been pretty carefree, talking twice before thinking. Now, with no Sephiroth around to think for him, he'd somehow ended up taking his friend's role. It was a sobering thought, and he could feel Cloud stiffen beneath him.
"You're thinking again..."
"Sorry..." Zax muttered and rolled to his left side when Cloud moved to sit up. The blond shook his head once they weren't touching each other again.
"Don't be. It's not like there's much to be happy about right now..." Cloud kicked his shoes off and crawled to his side of the bed, near the wall. Zax rolled onto his back and, twisting his head upside down, followed the younger one with his violet eyes. "And I don't want to take anything from you that you're not ready to give."
Zax blinked. Was it just him or was everything completely upside down? Was Cloud telling him what he, in the normal world, should be telling the blond?
"If you don't know what you feel for me, it's ok. Sephiroth is going to crash a comet into the Planet, but I suppose there's time..."
Zax blinked again and laughed, rolling onto his stomach. "You know, you're starting to sound just like me."
"I know." Cloud said and smiled. Zax was relieved to see that at least the smile was Cloud's own, and he answered it with a genuine one. None of that fake shit he'd been pulling for the past months.
"Let's get some sleep, and tomorrow morning, we'll have a good, long chat over breakfast, ok? And, well as much as it's possible, spend the day together, just the two of us, ok?" Zax said and kicked his boots off, never letting the blond out of his sight. Cloud smiled again and nodded, and the Soldier was ready to swear that he even blushed a bit. "The destruction of the world and all that can wait one day for us..."
Cloud nodded seriously and yawned, making his way underneath the blankets he was sitting on. He curled up near the wall and was about to wish the Soldier a good night, when two strong arms made their way around his waist and pulled him against an equally strong chest. Zax's head found its place between his neck and shoulder again, and the Soldier sighed happily before whispering "Good night, Cloudy..."
"... Good night, Zax..." Cloud whispered back, ignoring the fact that both lights were still on in the apartment.
It was midnight, and Aeris and Barret were sitting together on a grassy field just outside Junon. The Tiny Bronco was a few hundred yards away, near a small patch of trees. Cid had gone alone to the military base town to look for fuel. He'd still had the strange glint in his eyes when he'd left. The two other members of the Avalanche didn't trust the glint, but trusted the man enough to believe that he would come back. If for nothing else, then for the Bronco.
"So... can you tell me what'll happen once the Meteor hits us?" Barret asked eventually, when the nearby city had quieted enough that they could clearly hear the crickets chirp. The sky above was almost cloudless, and the stars were bright.
"Death, fire and destruction, I guess..." Aeris muttered, twirling a blade of grass between her fingers. "It depends how big the meteor will be. In the worst case, it could even destroy the whole Planet."
"If the option's suffering under the lunatic god, I'd call that the best case scenario." The leader of Avalanche muttered gloomily. "Those damned Turks... they better let Marlene and Shera go."
"Well, we still have a chance to stop Sephiroth. I doubt he'll have enough spiritual power to summon the Meteor straight away. There's still time."
"Yeah. Once we're outta here, we'll go to the Canyon and head straight to the Northern Crater. We'll stop the bastard."
Aeris smiled at Barret's words. His tone made it clear that he wouldn't accept failure on this. "Let's hope so. I still wish we could have kept the Black Materia in the first place."
"He could control Cloud. We couldn't stop the brat from givin' him the Materia, no matter what we could've done." He shrugged and once again checked that his gun-arm was loaded.
"I almost managed to stop Cloud. But Sephiroth had a stronger hold on him." Aeris sighed and leaned her chin on her knees. Her thoughts flew back to the Temple and the fight for the Black Materia. "I wonder if we'll ever get to see Cait Sith again... or talk to Reeve. We don't have any way to find out what Shin-Ra's..."
Barret turned to look at the pink-clad girl when she fell quiet so suddenly. "What's wrong? You see somethin'?"
Aeris shook her head. "No. I just realized something..." she lifted a hand to her mouth, "... Mother told us to take Cloud with us. She... she knew of the traps, about the puzzle. She meant for us to... to make Cloud solve them. Just like Sephiroth."
"... Are you sure?" Barret asked.
"Oh... yes. When... when I think about it... it would have given us the Black Materia, and Cloud would have been destroyed. We would have gotten the Materia and avoided the threat that he poses, as Sephiroth's... servant. She was ready to sacrifice him."
"But... I mean, Cait offered to come, too. She'da realized the robot can be used..."
"Yes, but Cait volunteered to come only after you'd agreed to take Cloud with us... oh, mother! Why do we have to live in a world where my mother, the kindest person I've ever known, would knowingly sacrifice another living being..."
Barret didn't have an answer. He just shook his head and checked his gun again.
They didn't talk much after that, only watched their surroundings for possible enemies and Cid's return. The moon above them climbed higher, hidden momentarily behind a small cloud. It was at least three hours since Cid had left. More than enough time to get into Junon, get some gas and get out.
"If Highwind's not here in half an hour, we're leaving." Barret had said. That was an hour ago. Half an hour ago Aeris had asked that they wait another half an hour. The time was almost up when she tilted her head, listening.
"Do you hear that?"
Barret looked up and nodded after a moment. "Yeah. Sounds like a big plane. Close by."
"I think we should hide." Aeris said, peering at the sky.
"Yeah. Into da trees." Barret stood and yanked the flower girl up. They retreated quickly to the nearby stretch of forest while the humming sound of an aircraft grew louder.
"Oh no. You don't think Cid got caught, and Shin-Ra's looking for us now?" Aeris whispered, looking up through the leaves.
"Dunno. Might just be some passenger plane."
The sound grew louder and louder, and soon they could see a large airship coming from Junon's direction, and straight towards them. When it was about a hundred yards closer, a few search lights were turned on, and they started to sweep the grassy lands.
"Shit. They're after us. Get ready to run, girl..." Barret muttered, checking his gun-arm. Aeris clutched her staff with both hands, getting ready to fight.
The airship slowed its pace to almost a stop. Barret swore when the search light passed straight over, momentarily blinding them. Aeris started to ready her spells, but stopped and squinted when something was dropped from the ship's deck.
"What is that... ropes?!"
A few ropes unraveled towards the ground. Barret aimed his gun at them, expecting the enemy to come down any moment. But the ropes had hooks at their ends, and no one came down. The ship was so close now the sound was almost deafening.
"What the hell?!" Barret roared when they saw that the ship was stopping just above the Tiny Bronco, and that the hooks were guided to grab the small plane. Aeris grabbed his arm then, and pointed at the ship.
"Is that a ladder?!"
A rope ladder had been dropped, the last bar almost touching ground. Barret swore again, ready to start shooting, but Aeris held him back when she heard something over the ship's noise.
"Is your PHS ringing?!"
"... Nnngh..." Cloud frowned at the sudden headache before he was even completely awake. He opened his eyes carefully and took a while to take in his surroundings.
He was back home, in Cosmo Canyon. In bed, with Zax. But this time they weren't sleeping on different sides of the bed, as far from each other as possible. This time he was curled up in the Soldier's arms, one blanket covering them both. It felt good. It felt really, really good, no matter how upset he'd been with Zax only a few hours ago. Zax didn't love him, but he didn't hate him either. It was a start.
Another wave of a headache hit him then, and the blond squeezed his eyes shut. "All right, all right..." he muttered and carefully slid the blanket off himself, and began to untangle from Zax's arms. Luckily the Soldier was sleeping soundly after the last few days, and barely stirred when Cloud got out of bed.
Something, or rather someone, was calling him again. He realized that he was being manipulated, but whoever it was, he or she was doing it quite gently. The blond pulled on his socks and shoes, he had been sleeping with his other clothes on, and slid out of the bedroom. He grabbed his gun from the table and left the house, not wanting to make his caller wait and have a reason to give him another headache.
Someone was already waiting for him, in the shadows at the bottom of the ladder. The blond took a step back when his caller stepped closer.
"I'm sorry to wake you like this, Cloud, but I need you to help me with something..." Ifalna said and smiled gently at the blond, taking his arm. Cloud shrugged and followed her.
-
A.N: This chapter was coming out slowly but surely, until Zax and Cloud began to fight in the plane. After writing that scene again and again, the chapter just seemed to go on and on and on... And Cid's line about marrying into ultimate power was borrowed from Manui & Adams' Yamara-comic.
...: Sephiroth and Aeris? No no no... no matter what Aeris says in this chapter! :) Sephiroth is now more Jenova than himself. She might have some ideas about 'offspring', but she was more messing with Aeris than seriously wooing her... :) Thanks for the comment, got me to write a lot! :D Which is always good...
Personally, I didn't like this chapter much... how about you? :) I love each and every review, but it would rock to get more than one per chapter... :3
One more thing... Vincenty goodness in the next chapter!! ;)