Rising
By Dimgwrthien
Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to the Harry Potter series of affiliates. Please do not sue.
Ginny left the house, leaving Remus and Tonks at the table, staring at their hands.
"I - I suppose we have to figure out what to do," Tonks whispered.
Remus ran a hand through his hair, which neared a completely grey color. "There's no way to legally get into their ranks."
Laughing sourly, Tonks asked, "Do you think what they just did was legal, Remus? No one cares about legal anymore. It's just stopping them that we care about."
"Unless we use an Unforgiveable Curse on them, we can't do much. That would be sinking to their level. I'm refusing to do it, and I'm not letting you."
"I wasn't going to."
"Good."
"I have a different plan from yours that's not only legal, but painless."
Remus gave her a small smile, watching her closely. It seemed impossible to find such an easy way out.
Closing her eyes tight and taking on a pained expression, Tonks slowly transformed her nose into a much longer one with a thin bridge. Her eyes became heavier and her lips thinned. With another fluid movement, her hair stretched out and became a dark color.
After glancing at the finished face for only a moment, Remus stared at the ground. "No. Change back."
The change to her regular self seemed easier. "Why? It would work!"
"I don't want to see that face," Remus whispered. "Besides, it wouldn't work all of the time. You can't look exactly like her and you know that it hurts to keep your face that much different for such a long time."
"Polyjuice Potion?" she offered, frowning. "That's the best we can do. Drink some, get in, and done."
"Do you know how to make the potion? Do you know where we can get Death Eater body parts?"
"Stop being negative." Tonks sighed and leaned on her elbows on the table. "We can figure something out in the end."
"It's not negativity. It's the truth. There's always a downside to the plans."
"Not this one," Tonks answered, propping herself up again. "I can make the potion and I know exactly where to get the hair! I'll be back in a moment."
She Apparated from the room before Remus could say a thing. Leaning back in his chair, Remus sighed, waiting. He had to admit that her plan sounded as though it would work, but he could only imagine the risks. What would they do when something small happens - a gesture that the person would not normally make. A slip in accent. Anything.
Sure enough, Tonks returned only a moment later, holding several small necklaces. She handed one to Remus and grinned.
"As long as you don't mind being a girl," she told him. "Mum kept the necklaces that her Mum gave them. Aunt Bellatrix and Narcissa, and my Mum. Mum's not a Death Eater, though, so you get your choice."
Remus picked one of them randomly, opening it to find a small batch of black hair. He said nothing as he held it between his first two fingers.
Tonks laid down her locket without opening it and glanced around. "Do you have any potion ingredients? We'll be done with this in a month."
"The only ones are for the Wolfsbane Potion," Remus answered, standing up to open a door to where he stored them. The fetid smell of the potion reached his nose, and he frowned. "Still have to drink some for today." He reached out for a goblet and swept it into the potion, drinking it as quickly as possible. It burned at his throat again, making him move the goblet from his mouth as quickly as possible. He coughed slightly, wiping his mouth and continuing, "I rarely brew potions. I was never good at it. You can see if anything there works, or else I can buy some more."
"I can start making it now," Tonks said, pulling up a few ingredients. Behind the cauldron filled with the potion, she pulled an empty one. "It looks like you had a stash here that you never remembered. Lucky, that."
"It's late," Remus answered, pulling her arm. "I don't want you ending up doing something stupid. Get some sleep."
She merely nodded and let herself be dragged off to the bedroom. Remus pulled off his shirt, getting into a sleeping shirt with his back turned. Tonks took her time, dressing, looking distant and unfocused. Her thoughts had to be with the potion, Remus realized. He trusted her so much, but he knew that anyone could mess up the Polyjuice Potion, no matter who they were.
The next morning, Remus found himself alone in the bed. He reached over a few times, trying to find a shoulder or arm. Finally, he moved his head away from the pillow, yawning as he stood up.
He finally found her in the kitchen, frowning over a large cauldron. She did not turn before speaking. "I can pick the fluxweed tonight. It has to be at the full moon," she explained, giving him a sad look. "Your potion is over there, by the way." She motioned to the table, where a goblet lay out.
Remus managed to drink the potion faster than usual, too interested in Tonks' potion to notice the rancid taste. Tonks continued stirring the dim blue-grey potion as he looked over her shoulder.
"You remember how to make it by memory?" Remus asked curiously.
"Of course," she answered. "It's not as though I've never used it. Morphing can only get you so close to a person. I can only use it to create a new person or for very short missions." She moved her head slightly, kissing his cheek, but before he could say a thing, she had turned back to the potion, stirring more, counting the rounds under her breath. "Sure you don't need to sleep anymore?"
"I'm sure," Remus answered, watching the potion turn a deep violet as she added in some powder that he recognized as bicorn horn. "Do you need any help?"
"No, I don't think so."
After near an hour, Tonks left the cauldron, smiling. "It's going really good," she told Remus. "I think it'll be done exactly in time. The lacewing flies are stewing. That's the longest step. Only twenty-one days for it, though." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his lips, taking her time. Remus smiled at her as she leaned in to rub his nose.
"How can we get them out of the way to get in?" Remus asked her.
Tonks gave him a small smile, halfway sad, halfway sneaky and mischievous. "They were captured and sent to Azkaban. From what I've heard from the other captured Death Eaters from the last few days, no one knows from their side." She snorted. "Takes them a while to notice what happened. They think the two of them are hiding from the rest of us."
"They ought to know better by now. Bellatrix would never stay away from another Death Eater or Voldemort himself. She's shown her loyalty enough already."
"That's why it's funny." He smile faded soon, however. "Remus, just trust me. Only they deserve Azkaban. It's dreadful. The Death Eaters sometimes aren't even bad enough to deserve such a thing."
Remus remember hearing almost the exact same words from Sirius several years before, when he found the ragged man in front of his door, disguised as a dog.
"I know, Nymphadora. I know." He tried to stop thinking about Sirius, but even Tonks' light grey eyes brought back the unwanted images. "Let's just concentrate on getting in there and back alive."
"It won't be hard. I promise," she told him, smiling once more. "We'll find out every last detail and destroy them from within without a trace."
It felt wrong to Remus. After being with the werewolves for so long, it seemed as though getting into the ranks of the Death Eaters or anyone not on their side was a mark of the traitor. It reminded him too much of Peter Pettigrew. He was in their ranks for so long. It seemed too obvious to Remus now….
"What're you thinking?" Tonks asked, touching his cheek to make him look down towards her face. She looked worried as she stared him in the eye. "Remus, we're not doing anything bad. We're stopping hundreds of deaths. You saw what just happened, didn't you? You were the one who had to tell Ginny to stay safe and not mess with anything. You were the one who told her that it's not safe here, and Ron and Hermione aren't safe. Nowhere is safe."
Remus remembered the long talk he had with the girl the night before, explaining to her everything Tonks had said. Her face started crumbling and Remus found himself with a crying girl on his shoulder, just like her mother, crying away everything bad. Crying seemed to be a purification act that no one had time for during the war. Now all of them were coming clean.
He realized that he had not cried yet. Maybe, sometime soon, something bad enough would happen to make him break down just like the others.
He hoped not. He always preferred the position of helping others over being helped. It felt odd to have his head on another's shoulders, a hand on his back, hearing words not from his own mouth comfort him.
Tonks frowned when he did not answer. "It's alright," she soothed, rubbing his cheek slowly, reassuringly. It felt nice to have someone hold him close again. She led him into the chair as he had so often led her into the bedroom. Finally, she perched herself next to him, cuddling close. "No more bad things are going to happen. This time, we're bringing them down for good."
Her small smile finally brought Remus to tears.
The night of the full moon came before Remus could think about it. He took a final dose of Wolfsbane Potion, knowing that some day, the amount would have to increase until it could no longer stop him. He gave Tonks a small smile as he walked into the hall, about to open a door that he had never shown anyone there but Sirius.
"Don't," Tonks told him simply. "You have the potion. Just stay out here. It'll be easier."
"I can always just - I mean, if you don't feel comfortable around -"
"I've told you a million times," she told him slowly. "I don't give a damn. You're wonderful, and I'm not afraid. I would never be afraid of you." Her face looked shockingly like Sirius' now, her expression the same as the one Sirius wore when he confronted Remus about the curse.
He gave her a nervous look, but Tonks smiled at him, pointing to the bedroom door. "Just get ready. I can open the door for you when you're done. Unless you want me in there…."
Remus gave her a small shrug and she followed him into the room, sitting on the bed. He sat next to her, feeling her soft hands over his body soon after, rubbing his shoulders gently. "It's alright," she whispered. She said nothing else. Remus recognized the action. So many people he knew comforted him right before the full moon overtook him, but could never say much due to their own inexperience and unknowing.
He said nothing in response as he felt his bones pull slightly. He moved away from her touch, unable to deal with the splintering bones touching her. Once he pulled off his shirt, he tried to get his trousers off, but found his fingers stopping once he touched the belt. Pain whipped through his muscles as he felt them tear, hitting the bone and his own skin. The tradeoff of the potion was being able to stay awake during the transformation.
Tonks leaned in close to him, able to brush his splintering hands away from his waist and undo the belt. She remained staring at his eyes, a pitying expression in her own. Remus managed to close his eyes for a while, no longer able to open them during the transformation to see his body wither beneath his gaze and reform.
Finally, once he felt his body drop down on four legs that burned with pain, he breathed normally again. His lungs felt as though they had been ripped from the trachea and rejoined within seconds.
He looked up at Tonks, seeing her crawl off of the bed to join on his level. She smiled at him. "You make a cute wolf," she told him, never loosing the grin. Remus sat back on his back legs, lowering his snout to touch her hand. Hand jumping from the cold snout, she slowly reached back and dragged her hand through his fur.
"Nothing against it, but it's almost funny to have a husband who can do that," she giggled, uncrossing her legs and resting on her stomach to touch him nose-to-nose. "I always liked dogs. Well, you're not exactly a dog, but…"
Remus shook his head, feeling his neck move unnaturally. He found it easier to separate the possible canine movements from the human ones after over thirty years of the transformation.
Her grin came back. "I guess we have to work on the potion. I'll go add some things. Be back in a moment." She stood up, only to find Remus painfully stand on burning legs to follow her. "If you want," she said, letting him go before her through the door.
Having gotten used to the new smells he experienced in his opposite form, Remus found it odd that his sense of smell was the same as everyone else's during all but that one night. However, he soon realized why. That potion smelled terrible.
The ingredients were easy to smell even from a room away. The bicorn horn smelt rather like musty moth-eaten clothes, while the boomslang skin reflected it with a sharp, almost deserty smell. He backed away from the door, making a soft whining sound to say he would not go any further.
"I knew it," Tonks told him, smiling. "It's bad smelling, isn't it?"
Making another whine, Remus finally smelt the lacewing flies, slowly stewing. He let out a great puff of air, trying to ignore the smell. Something that he could only call 'wet', as many people could smell rain coming on. Acidic substance. A touch of something like pickle juice that had been ruined beyond belief.
She returned from the room after a moment or so, telling him something about having to grab a few ingredients before night was over. After bending over to kiss his snout, she left, the door slamming shut behind her.
Resting back in the bedroom, trying to keep himself from eying the bed that he knew he would shed on, Remus shut his eyes. He felt so tired from transforming, but the potion left him feeling strangely awake and unable to sleep. Finally, he stood up, giving up the temptation, and crawled into the bed. He had practice getting into the bed without the use of his hands, and managed to crawl under the warming covers.
His mind ran around in circles as he thought about the plan with the potion. They had the hair, they had the perfect reason to appear so late…. He hoped to Merlin that Tonks knew how to act properly around the Death Eaters because he did not. Could they have something to mark who was who? Would the Dark Mark transfer over to their bodies.
His whimpered again.
If they were caught, what would the Death Eaters do to them? Torture them? Kill them on the spot? He hoped for death over torture. He felt as though torture could not be quite as bad as what he had to put up with every month, but the sight of Tonks, screaming as her bones cracked and splintered…. Even the thoughts of it made Remus shut his eyes in pain and try to think of something else. However much he tried, though, nothing came to mind to rid of the image.
He woke in the morning with a terrible headache and Tonks' arm wrapped around his shoulders. She looked a bit tired but smiled at him once his eyes opened.
"'Morning," she greeted, sitting upright in the bed. Remus yawned and tried to shift more under the covers. He felt amazingly cold without the fur or clothes.
"Good morning," he greeted, feeling his throat scratch as he spoke. Once he managed to sit up with his reluctant arms, he felt Tonks drop his clothes next to his arm as she crawled out of the bed.
"If you want to get dressed," she yawned, stretching out her arms in front of her like a cat. "There you go."
He gave an indistinct sound in response as Tonks pulled off her nightclothes and put on a shirt. When her jeans were in hand, he told him, without turning, "You're fine to get dressed now, you know."
Remus slipped the covers off slowly, pulling on his shirt as quickly as possible. He did the same with his trousers, never letting the blanket fall. Even after years of living in a dorm room with other people and then staying with Sirius and other Order members, he still hated dressing before others and meeting their eyes. The scars running down his arms looked clearly visible as he fixed the sleeves to cover them.
Tonks smiled at him as he turned to face him. She had already started pulling on a jumper, shivering slightly. "Do you feel alright?"
Nodding, Remus answered with a low, "I'm fine. You?"
Giving a small laugh that made her eyes crinkle, Tonks said, "I'm not the one who had to turn into a wolf for a night. However, I did get the rest of the ingredients for the potion. All that's waiting is the lacewings because they need to stew. They smelt worse than ever last night. It wasn't just you."
Remus let his nose twitch, almost grateful for his new lack of a canine nose. Everything seemed dulled down as a human.
"It's not much longer until the potion is done," Tonks reminded him, the smile creeping back onto her face. She climbed on top of the covers, careful to avoid sitting on Remus, and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her nose close to his face. She rubbed the tip of her cold nose on his cheek. "You're cut. Do you want me to -"
"I can get it later," he answered, wrapping his arms around her in return and leaning against her. He still felt exhausted after loosing so much sleep the night before. Groping for his wand at the side table, Remus grabbed it and muttered the quick spell as he pointed to his face. A tingling washed over him as the cut healed. With the back of his hand, he wiped away the small amount of blood from his skin.
"So, the potion's almost done?" he asked, glancing back up at her. "I'm still -"
"It's going to be fine!" she told him again. "I promise! I've done this so many times before…."
"But not with tons of Death Eaters."
"No, Remus. I've never done that." She leaned her head into the hollow between his jawbone and collar. "I'm scared about that, too."
Then, one day, Remus found Tonks grinning over the cauldron as she picked up two small lockets.
"Done!" she told him, giving him a kiss on the lips before opening each of the lockets. She handed the one with dark hair to Remus. He felt the warmed metal under his fingers as though Tonks had held it a long time.
She poured out both goblets and handed one to Remus. Before adding the blonde hair to her own, however, she poured out the cauldron into two flasks. Both flasks were incrusted with shining rubies and brilliant diamonds. Once closed, she handed one to Remus.
"Found them at…" She lowered her eyes and said nothing. Remus knew that she meant Grimmauld Place. "For holding the potion. We have to remember to take the potion, no matter what. Acting out of character is better than them finding out it's us."
She almost glared at him, grey eyes wide and serious. Remus nodded and added in the bit of black hair. The potion he dropped it into sizzled and became a bright red color, then died down to a dull grey.
Tonks added her own hair before she raised the goblet to Remus. She stuck in some of the hair into her own flask, hiding the beautiful jar in a bag at her side. Once she closed the bag again, she took a sip of the potion, paling as she tasted it.
"I can never get used to it," she whispered, taking another small sip. Remus managed to force himself to drink what he needed in one large gulp.
His skin started to burn lightly at first, a painful tickle, until it spread down his arms an legs, through his chest, like a wildfire. He did not know whether to curl up small or extend his limbs to rid of the pain. His jaw reset, heavier but more feminine, and his hair grew out long and became black in seconds. He felt rather odd when he became completely female, which is something he never wanted to experience again.
Once he managed to stare ahead again through heavy-lidded eyes, Remus saw that Tonks stood in front of him, though with long, blonde hair and brilliantly pale skin.
Tonks hid her smile, turning Narcissa's face into a strangely kindly face. "You're still dressed in your clothes," she explained, snorting slightly. "It's just something I never imagined I would see."
Remus glanced down to see the clothes hanging off of the female's form, draping differently than they had ever on him. After a moment, he glanced back up at Tonks, smiling. She opened the bag at her side.
"I took some of the old clothes. They'll look right." She handed Remus a dress, long and green, with silver markings near the hem. Her own was a light blue. "It's amazing what you can get from people related to you. It only took a few minutes talking to Mum."
"What did you tell her?" Remus asked as he quickly dressed out of his own clothes, trying his best not to look at the new body. It felt wrong to stare at a woman's body without her knowing, even if it was not really her.
"Just that I was trying to clean out some old trash that should have bee taken care of years ago," Tonks answered honestly. Once she smoothed the dress over her, she picked up the bag. "Are we fine to go?"
Remus stared at her for a moment and clasped her hand in his. It felt odd to hold Narcissa's hand, and he had to remind himself who she really was.
"Are you sure you want to come?"
Tonks smiled sadly. "One of these days, Remus, I'm going to ask you the same thing. Why do you always need to ask?"
"You're still -"
"A girl? Younger? Inexperienced? I'm fine. I can do it. It was partly my idea to begin with. Let's go. I think we could find them by nightfall. They'll take all day to find, but once we're there, it's alright."
She wrapped her hand into Remus' for a moment, squeezing, before letting go. "It took like we have nine days to do this."
Remus frowned at the sky. Nine days until the next full moon that would give them away. He cursed himself quickly for ruining the mission, but followed Tonks.
The door swung closed again, and Remus already counted down until the second he could return.