Summary: Yuki was damned if he was going to keep Shuichi's new monstrosity in his apartment…
Description: Short comedy fic, no pairing. Oneshot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation in any way, shape or form, much as I'd like to own Hiro...guess it just won't happen that way, though. Damn
I Said No
Yuki Eiri was staring blankly at his computer screen when the doorbell rang.
The blond author gritted his teeth, but made no move to get out of the chair. No way in hell was he opening the door for his nitpicking sister or her overprotective husband. And he definitely wasn't opening it for his Ryuichi-doting brother. He stared resolutely at the still-blank screen, silently willing whoever it was to give up and go away…
…but he had failed to account for the determining factor.
"I'll get it!" Shuichi's yell was accompanied by the sound of running footsteps as the pink-haired singer hurried to open the front door.
Shit!
Yuki stubbed the remaining end of his cigarette into the ashtray besides his computer and started to get up. However, he had barely risen from his seat when he heard a faint click, followed by a long creak as the front door swung open.
I'm going to kill that little brat!
"Hiro!" he heard Shuichi cry, "you made it!"
"Yeah," came Hiro's reply, "Is Yuki-san home?"
"Yeah, he's in his study. Did you bring it?"
"Yeah, and it was a pain in the ass to lug it here…"
It? Yuki's thoughts of murder swiftly gave way to those of suspicion. What was the little brat up to now? Crossing his study, he opened the door and stepped out into the living room.
"Hey, what are you two…?"
He stopped short.
"What do you think, Yuki?" Shuichi cried excitedly as he stood in front of the object that Hiro had obviously brought over.
"What the hell is that?" Yuki demanded, staring at it.
He failed to take in Shuichi's proud exclamation – "It's a bookcase!" – on account of staring, mutely, at the woodwork horror that was taking up his living room.
For, between the two members of Bad Luck was a five-shelved bookcase.
It was wide.
It was tall.
It was painted pink with silver glitter.
And it had the words 'Shuichi's Bookcase' painted on it in big purple letters.
"You bought that thing?" Yuki demanded.
"No, we found it!" Shuichi replied, wrapping his arms around it. Or trying to, at least.
"You can't find a bookcase, baka! Bookcases aren't naturally occurring! Especially not –" Yuki shuddered as he looked at it, "– pink, glittery ones with purple lettering!"
"But we did find it!" Shuichi insisted. "In an alley! We were leaving the N-G building after work one night and we saw it there!"
"So why did you bring it here?" the irate novelist demanded.
"Well, we took it back to Hiro's first," Shuichi admitted. "I mean, it was just lying there in the alley! It was such a waste! And it was a real wreck at first, but we sanded it down, and repainted it –"
"Shuichi picked the colour," Hiro interjected.
"– and it looked really good! So I'm going to keep it!" Shuichi concluded happily, patting the glittering piece of furniture fondly.
"No, you are not." Yuki said, eyeing the garish paint with disgust.
"But Yuki, we worked hard on it!" Shuichi protested.
"I don't care," Yuki replied, feeling a sudden and immediate desire for nicotine. Pulling his packet of cigarettes from his pocket, he lit one and tucked the rest away. "It's ugly, it's garish, and it doesn't match anything in my apartment."
"But Yuki – !"
"Get that damn thing out of my sight"
"It's just a bookcase, Yuki!"
"It's an eyesore, and you are not keeping it in here."
"Yuki –!"
"I am not keeping any 'found bookcase'!"
"It's a piece of furniture!"
"It's litter."
Both were staring at each other, Yuki's gaze cool, Shuichi's pleading. Finally, after a minute or so of silent begging, Shuichi – somewhat uncharacteristically – relented.
"Fine, I'll get rid of it," the pink-haired singer said reluctantly. "Come on, Hiro, let's take this out…"
"What do you want to do with it now?" his friend asked as they lifted up the bookcase.
"I don't know," Shuichi muttered. "Do you want to keep it?"
"I guess we can repaint it," Hiro said thoughtfully. "And I told you we should have painted it blue," he added teasingly.
Shuichi cast a wounded look over his shoulder at Yuki as they carried the bookcase to the door.
"Wait a minute." Shuichi's face brightened at Yuki's words, only to fall again as the author continued, "What's in that box?"
Shuichi followed Yuki's gaze to the large cardboard box next to the sofa. Hiro had brought it along with him, along with the bookcase.
"Oh, that," he said offhandedly, "that's my anime and manga collection. I left most of it at my parents' house and Hiro's place before I moved here, but when we found the bookcase, I thought I could keep all my stuff in it. So I went and got everything from my parents and from Hiro, but now I guess I'll just have to leave it here..."
"Can't you take it back?" Yuki asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, because my parents wanted to get rid of them. And I can't take it back to Hiro's…so I guess they'll just be lying there, taking up room…" the pink-haired singer sighed.
"You are not leaving that thing in my apartment."
"Well, I can't take it back, either!" Shuichi said defensively. "And if I take the box away, where will I keep everything? They'll just be lying around, getting lost or getting in the way!"
Yuki groaned inwardly. A stupid bookcase or a stupid box. How did the brat manage to do this to him…?
"Fine," he said.
"What?" Shuichi said, from where he and Hiro were lifting the bookcase, "Did you say something, Yuki?"
"I said 'fine', brat!" Yuki snapped irritably. He hated giving in. "You can keep the stupid bookcase, okay? Just get –" The rest of his sentence was cut off as he suddenly found his arms full of Shuichi.
"Thank you, Yuki! I love youuuuuuuu!" Shuichi said happily, his words muffled by Yuki's solar plexus.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get off me," Yuki muttered halfheartedly, not bothering to push the pink-haired singer away.
Barely managing to hide his grin, Hiro silently let himself out of the apartment.
"Where the hell were you planning on putting that damn thing, anyway?" Yuki demanded. The two were sitting opposite the pink monstrosity that was still, much to Yuki's annoyance, taking up his living room.
"I – I don't know," Shuichi replied uncertainly, glancing at the bookcase. "Maybe in the bedroom?"
"No."
"Well, then…the study?"
"I am not looking at that piece of crap all day while I work!"
"Then what about the living room…?" Shuichi suggested weakly.
"No way am I putting that thing where other people can see it!"
"But where else can we put it, Yuki?" Shuichi protested, staring imploringly at the stubborn author.
"The apartment incinerator ought to do it justice."
"But Yuki – !"
--owari--