My Brother's Keeper

SUMMARY: In SAR, Max had to choose between Logan and Zack. In this story she chooses Zack. This is going to be a dark, disturbing angst filled tale. You've been warned.

RATED:M (Mature Themes, Violence, Language, Sexuality)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dark Angel.

No Turning Back

"White is our biggest threat. He seems to have a pathological hatred for transgenics. At least with Lydecker we knew he hunted us down to make us soldiers again. But with White…Zack are you listening to me."

"You are so beautiful, Max." Before Max could decide whether she wanted to smile or roll her eyes, Zack's lips were against hers…again. He'd been kissing and groping her constantly from the moment she had told him she loved him. Her first impulse was to flinch every time. Thankfully, Zack never noticed. Who knew Zack-Mr. human emotions equals phony sentimentality-would be so mushy?

She couldn't help but feel conflicted. All her life she viewed Zack as her older brother. A year ago if she had listened to Logan or if Zack, himself, had said how he really felt about her, she would have felt sick to her stomach. She was still a little queasy every time Zack touched her but there was so much at stake now. Logan's life for one. She saw the murderous rage in Zack's eyes back at the Steelhead's place. She didn't doubt for a second that Zack would have left her handcuffed to the pipe while he went and killed Logan for "betraying them."

Besides her fear for Logan, she needed to have Zack in her life now. For ten years after the escape he looked out for all of them. He knew better than she could ever know how to protect his own. He'd really done it all his life.

She was spontaneous. She was used to looking out for number one. She let them out like Zack had done for her and ten of her siblings eleven years ago. Following his example, she did believe she was responsible for them. But that didn't make her know what to do about it.

She needed help. She needed someone who was just as devoted to the responsibility to her kind but who also knew what the hell to do with that responsibility. She needed Zack.

But that meant giving up Logan.

Max quickly quelled the sadness that thought brought up because maybe this was a blessing in disguise. After all she was literally the death of Logan. It was safer to stay away and now she had a reason even he couldn't rationalize away. If she was with someone else, he'd have to back off. He wouldn't fight for her. That wasn't Logan's style. If he thought she'd be happier with Zack, Logan would let her go. And ultimately, that was what was best for everyone.

So she closed her eyes.

It was just easier that way. With her eyes closed, she didn't have to see that the man kissing her neck right now was the man she grew up considering her brother. Plus it wasn't as if Zack was a bad kisser. Quite the opposite. He was really very good at it. She had to admit that it felt good to be touched and caressed by a man. It had been such a long time. And Zack loved her. She was sure of it. His touches and kisses were so gentle and reverent. She had never been so cherished by a man before. It did feel kinda nice. So what if it was the wrong man. True, Zack was no Logan. But then again, neither was Rafer. She had given herself to men before during the insanity of heat. It would be a nice change to consciously be with a man who truly loved her.

Anyway it was kinda too late now. Throughout her whole internal struggle, Zack had been removing both her clothes and his and now she was naked on her bed. Zack was on top of her, still caressing. Still gently bestowing kisses every where his hands weren't. Max couldn't help but respond to the muscular male body that was pressed against her.

"Max." Zack breathed. "Look at me." He continued in a husky voice she never heard before.

Max opened her eyes and saw her brother staring down at her with eyes darkened by feral lust and she almost sprang from the bed.

But Max was a soldier, and soldiers trudged gallantly into battle. She quickly reached up and pulled his head down to hers and kissed him hard. He returned the kiss with equal fervor. And while he did, he entered her in one sure thrust.

Her head fell back to the pillow and she whimpered with both the shock and abruptness of it.

"Max, open your eyes." She obeyed. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." She whispered. "It's been a while. Just a little gentler, okay."

"Okay." Zack tenderly cupped her cheek and kissed her again. He slowed his thrusts until he was gently moving inside of her.

She felt the tension in her body building. He felt good. Really good. Maybe this could work. If something one week ago she would have believed to be so wrong could feel this right today, she must be making the right decision.

A pleasure filled moan escaped her lips and Zack responded by going faster. Max too responded to him by thrusting her hips back towards him until they were both joined in a rapid sea saw rhythm. Then they were both falling. It took her by surprise because up until that point she had never experienced an orgasm of this caliber. Perhaps it had something to do with Zack being an X5 like herself. Her scream and Zack's shout pierced the night. No words followed. Zack simply rolled over and gripped her possessively to his chest before falling asleep.

The next morning, Max woke before Zack did. She eased herself from out of his clutches and made her way to the bathroom. Her stomach lurched and before she knew it, she was bent over the toilet throwing up. Tears immediately sprang to her eyes as what she had done continued to sink in. A few minutes later she stood on shaky legs and went to the sink to wash her mouth and face. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. When tears began to threaten again, she sucked in a breath to rein them in.

"Pull yourself together, soldier." She scolded at her image.

TBC

Author's Note: A lot of this story is written and has been written for quite some time. I've been debating on whether or not to finish. So I posted it to see if there's an audience for it. So basically the more reviews I get, the more motivated I'll be to post more. It's all up to you.