Hope

"Even so...the reason you are alive now...is that you haven't given up hope, is it not?

It's not true that everyone in this world has rejected you. You know this, don't you?"

"I don't...I don't know what you're talking about. I don't...have any hope."

"You do."

"NO I DON'T!

I don't..."

"Even if you don't have any now...surely it will come to you again. Just as, no matter how hard you try to keep it away, despair will attack you again and again. In the same manner, hope will return to you.

Again...and again.

...It will surely bloom."

Kyo is strong—stronger than he knows.

He wants to give up. To let go, drop the burden he carries and let himself be crushed. He wants to just fall and let the current carry him on.

He thinks it would be easy to give in. To forfeit his life, stop trying. He thinks it would be so easy.

He wants to give in.

But he can't. He knows—he obsesses over how easy it would be. To end his life, just give up and let everyone else win. He really believes that he could.

But he can't. There is a natural resilience in Kyo that will not let him fall. It will not let him give in, stop trying, give up. It will not let him die.

Not yet.

Kyo doesn't understand it—why can't he just die? Why doesn't he just kill himself?

He thinks he has every reason to. He thinks he killed his mother. He thinks he's trampled on so many lives. He thinks he's shameless, the way he burdens every one else with his pointless existence. He thinks it would be better if he just died.

But he can't.

He can't give up. He can't let go. He can't let himself die.

Not yet.

Because Kyo knows—some part of him knows. That little part of him that refuses to just lie down and let the current sweep him away. That little part of him—that small thought of self-preservation in his mind that won't let him let go of the cliff and just fall. That niggling conscience that says he can't fall, not yet, he's just got to push himself more and he can do it. He can't fall yet, he hasn't beaten Yuki.

That little part of him will nag and pull on him until he does get up and try again. Until he stands on his own two feet—that little voice will nag and nag and nag him.

Because that little voice knows...Kyo's river ends in falls. His burden will crush him—extinguish his spirit. The second that Kyo gives up—really and totally gives up—he dies. He will truly and utterly be defeated then.

And that can't happen yet.

And Kyo's little voice also knows why.

Kyo knows, deep down, that he'll never, ever give up. Not really.

Not as long as there is still hope.

Because there is always hope.

Kyo doesn't understand this yet—that no matter what, no matter how many times despair attacks, hope will be there with a bright smile and a band-aid.

He lives for that hope. It sustains him—keeps him alive. That hope that someday he will be saved.

That hope—like a bright star in the black sky, it will shine. A door will open, illuminating his cage, releasing him from his chains, setting him free.

A flower will bloom.

No matter how many times he tries to beat it away, close his eyes and turn away, hope will find him.

Because it hasn't given up on him yet.

And Kyo hasn't given up yet. He hasn't given up hope that he will be saved—that someday, someone will hold out their hand to him. That one day, someone can love him.

He never really stopped hoping.

And he never really will.

And then he met Tohru-san.

Slowly, slowly, the death and darkness within him just melted away. The terrible scent faded.

To be replaced with one like an early morning—a fresh start. A clean, fresh smell. One that had a hint of sugar and sunshine in it.

To be replaced by hope.

Kyo is starting to grow—

—to hope—

—to love.

Fin

Author's notes: Again, not all that much to do with scent. But hey, my story—my rules. So MEH!

This is, by the way, the sequel to Darkness.

Uwah! I don't own Fruits Basket! The dialogue at the top is from volume 11, chapter 63. Hope—this fic—was based on it. So I put it in. And it's not mine! Well, the fic is, but not the dialogue!

If you haven't read volume 11, I suggest you do, but until then, know that the dialogue is between Kyo and Kazuma. Hope is also in Kazuma's point-of-view, in case you hadn't guessed that already.

I like this chapter, I really do. The first draft I did was weak, but I think this turned out okay. Let me know what you think—in your reviews!

And this is the last of the 'angst' chapters. I don't usually write a lot of angst. No really—I just don't. Hope and Darkness are the two exceptions, so far. I just write what the muses and djinns and vicious killer plot bunnies tell me to. Also, I don't usually have enough patience for angst. In my opinion, angst is usually an excuse for teenagers to be self-centered and stupid. So I don't write much.

Anyway! Next chapter is another funny one—I felt I needed a break after the seriousness of Darkness and Hope. And after that we're back to sweet 'n' fluffy ones. I promise!

So...review! Please? (But we won't go into that again...) Review, let me know what you thought, be honest, and point out any spelling/grammar mistakes, so I can note them for future reference and never do it again. Ever.

Thanks! It means a lot that you even read this story...but it would mean so much more if you reviewed.

Audley Angst-a-phobic.