Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.

Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear

Since Carl was so beloved, and since we promised to do him again, here he is.

This time we are concentrating on Latin. The idea was worked out between me and Celebrion, and this time I got to write it. Last time we had Carl, in Latin Confusion it was Celebrion who was the main author. This time it is me, and he beta read the thing.

Since I have already given Carl away, I might warn you that we are doing Latin here.

Carl is from Van Helsing, and both he and Faramir is played by the same actor, David Wenham, in case there is someone who did not know this.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.

Do not own Van Helsing either, and unfortunately Carl belongs to the Van Helsing movie.

Here is the tale as we will tell it.

The Lord Demeni and the Lord Barladro are mine, if you can guess at the translation of the names, let me know.

(PLease, we know we make spelling errors, please take no offence. We truly do our best. Besides, you should suport your local spelling disaster.)

Strange Latin

"Faramir, are you going to read that all night?" Eowyn asked her husband.

Faramir was sitting in a comfortable armchair with a few sheets of paper in his hands. The pages was yellow with age and the ink was faded. She knew by experience that these was the once he was the most fascinated with. It proved itself for he had not yet reacted to what she had said.

"Faramir." He was still lost in the pages and did not react.

She moved over to peek over his shoulder and now he noticed and looked up.

"Eowyn." He asked confused.

"I asked if you were going to read that all night?"

"Uhm, not all the night." He said while looking slightly ashamed, as if he would have read through the whole night if she had not been ready to stop him.

"Witch means that you will read it until I physically drag you away from it and of to bed. "She gave him a knowing smile and peered at it again. "What is it anyway."

"It is about the Latin language. It really is very fascinating."

"Faramir, you think that everything is fascinating." She smiled at his guilty look. "Where did you find it anyway?"

"Uhm, I was looking in the um." He knew exactly what she was going to say about this. "Well, uh, I was looking through one of the corners of the archives."

"You always are." She chided him gently. "You know Aragorn might not take kindly to the fact that you are running your own little kingdom behind his back."

"Huh, what do you mean?" He asked confused.

"Your Kingdom of dust." She teased him.

"Oh, ah." Faramir scratched his head embarrassed. "That Kingdom, you really do not have to worry though. Aragorn spends as much time as me there."

"So this one is a document in a strange language about a strange language." She noted after an attempt to read it.

"It is simply about the Latin language."

"There is nothing simple about that." She teased. "But if you say that it is that simple why do you not explain it to me." She challenged.

"Well, it is built out of several sentences, and a translation of each one. Then there is an explanation of why it turns out the way it does. Thought the choice of phrases are rather interesting."

Interesting how?" Eowyn asked.

He frowned. "Uhm , I think that either they were picked as a joke, or the one who did it was out to confuse everyone who actually read it."

"Explain." Eowyn made herself comfortable in a chair. She was now curious enough to want to know, but her husbands explanations could be quite lengthy.

"Okay, listen to this." He absently cleared his throat. "Te precor duleissime supplex."

"What does it mean, t sounds as strange as anything else to me."

"It translates as, 'Yes thank you, with a sherry on the top.' That really makes no sense." He shook his head.

Eowyn laughed. "It does if you have anything that you want a cherry on."

"Hm, listen to this then." He shifted the pages and picked the next one. "'Non sum Pisces.' I am not a fish."

Eowyn giggled. "What's wrong with that?"

He tapped the page. "It is not exactly the introduction to the language I would chose. Listen to this. 'Matter tea circeta fait, et pater tuoredo luit bacarum sambucus.' That is strange"

He smirked as she waited for the translation he had not yet offered.

"Well." She slapped his arm playfully. "What does it mean?"

"Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberry. I assume it is an insult, but I can not begin to guess who would use it."

"If you told Eomer that it was a vile insult, and not what it meant. He might use it." She suggested.

"I'll make sure not to mention it to him then." He raised his eyebrows teasingly. "Or if I o I will tell him that you put me up to it."

"You would." She had gotten curious in spite of herself. "What more is there in that thing?"

"Mellita domi sum." Faramir whispered to her.

"And what does that mean?" She crossed her arms across her chest.

"Honey, I am home." He leafed through the pages again. "I really wonder who did this." He frowned. "They are good examples, and it explains everything that is necessary, but still." His frown deepened.

"It does make it less boring." Was Eowyn's point of view.

Faramir smirked, raised his eyebrow and tilted his head to the side. Giving her that smile he knew she could not resist.

"Excusa me, vir optime, cogito inquis tibi nomen 'fatuus' es?" He was stroking the tip of his chin with his thumb and index finger, waiting for her reaction.

"What does it mean" She demanded.

"What do you think it means?" He tilted his head to the other side. She loved to tease him, and he loved to tease her just as much.

"Are you going to tell me?" She began to tap her foot impatiently.

"I will think about it." He offered. "And when I am safe distant away I might even tell you. "

"Faramir, telling me will be a lot safer than not telling me." She said in a threatening voice.

"That is a good point." He looked at the paper again. "Excuse me sir, did you say your name was 'idiot."

"I say that it would appear that you are one if you just said that to me."

"That is another good point." He grinned again. "I had better not tell you anymore things or I will be in trouble."

"For once you have a good point." She smiled. "But as I said before, do not read all of that tonight."

"I'm almost done." He promised. He had reached the last page, and what he read at the bottom of it had him laughing so hard he could hardly catch his breath.

"What is it?" Eowyn demanded to know.

"I suddenly know what this is all about." He gasped in an attempt to draw in some air. "I know who picked examples like these. This thing is signed." He grinned, after he had drawn another deep breath of air.¨

"Well, who did it?" She demanded impatiently. "It sounds to me like you have read other things he has written before."

He nodded. "I have actually met him. It's Friar Carl. He has the right humour to do something like this. If for no other reason than annoy others."

"Who is it?" She frowned. "I have never heard of him.

"You have to dig him out of his books if you want to talk with him." He shrugged as an explanation.

"That sounds like someone else I know." She said thoughtfully, as if she was trying to remember who.

Lost in his own thoughts he absently replayed. "Who." As he realised what she had said his head snapped up and he looked at her.

"That was not nice, even from you." He chided. "We might both enjoy books, but we are nothing like each other."

"If he is anyway as hard to drag away from his books as you are. Then you two are more alike each other than you are willing to admit." She chuckled.

"That was not nice." Faramir looked up at her. "You are insulting him."

"I intended to insult you." She grinned.

"You just said how alike we were. I figure that an insult to me would be for him as well." He tilted his head to the side and gave her that smile again. "If you are done with the insult I have finished now."

"Shame that I am not finished with you then." She teased.

Since I can not write non stop, and you can not read non stop, and I have run out of the candy called non stop. I guess this is one of those annoying temporarily ends. Oh well, I shall go out and by a bag of M&M's. That is the closest candy to non stop that they still manufacture.

Pasha ToH: Thank You, we hoped we would be entertaining, and there is much more to come.

LalaithoftheBruinen: I am not to fond of that particular treat in politics in case you noticed, I do however enjoy making fun out of them. A treat for you then, since we had some more Carl in this very chapter, and we are not done with him yet.

Silver Sniper: I can not make you a promise yet, but we are working on how to make a film out of it. What it would take and how we would do it. If we manage to work it out, you shall get a copy.

Random-Battlecry: Thank you, I love to read your comments, and to get your support. I do my best to improve. We, meaning me and Celebrion, love Carl and Faramir to, that is why we are doing more of that. We hope you liked this chapter as well.

Lindahoyland: Thank you so much for your support and kind words, it means more to me than I can say. Aragorn is working hard to win Faramir over as a friend. There might be times when Faramir falls back into his more formal ways, but for now Aragorn's methods are working.

I am glad that you like my other stories as well, I will ad more of them later.

Meep!: A Swedish review, that took me by surprise. Took a bit more work to read it, but thank you so much for reviewing anyway. I am glad you enjoyed my work, and I hope you will enjoy it in the future as well.

Thank you all for staying with me, I am truly grateful.

Elenhin