Chapter 1: The First Fight
: Ike! Ike wake up!
Ike: Urgh… 5 more minutes…
: WAKE UP! stab
Ike: OW! WHAT THE- Oh Oscar, it's you. 'Sup?
Oscar: It's your first day as a Greil mercenary. C'mon!
Ike: Oh, right!
Ike and Oscar rush to the main room of their fort
Titania: It's about time you boys got here. Today we've been hired to take out bandits in a village near here.
Boyd: Bandits? Pah, I can handle more than that! Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em!
Titania: Shut up Boyd. Let's go. The faster, the better.
Ike and company rush to a high cliff above the sea
Ike: Nice view.
Titania: Alright kids. rolls out a white billboard which you can use to draw stuff on with markers Here's the plan.
LEADER
bad guys
/ \
HOUSE
oo
oo
Titania: Boyd, Oscar, and I will rush out and defeat the enemies before they can react. Ike, you watch.
Ike: Watch? But I wanna fight!
Boyd: laughs Ike, you are such a n00b. Gimme that marker.
Me
Other guys
You
Boyd: As you can see, you're FAR behind.
Ike: Screw you. This guide says I have the best growth rates since Sigurd!
Boyd: I don't know what the hell a Sigurd is but warriors don't read books stupid! Gimme that! Hmmm…Nintendo Power Player guide….GHEY
Ike: You don't know anything dumbass!
Boyd: At least I know how to fight!
Ike: Bitch!
Boyd: Asshole!
Ike: GOOBER!
Boyd: GASP YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Ike: No. :)
Oscar: (What fools. When they're not looking I'll dash out of here and find some real fighters).
Titania: Both of you shut up! Ike take out that enemy by the cliff.
Ike: Yes ma'am.
Ike goes over to fighter and draws his sword
Enemy: Hah! This'll be easy!
Enemy dodges and Ike gets closer and pushes enemy off the cliff
Enemy: AUGH!
Ike: I win!
Leader: What was that? Mercenaries! Curses!
Oscar: All that's left is the boss…
Boyd: Ok, ok, you guys. I know how to do this!
Boyd rushes up to boss
Boss: Who are you supposed to be?
Boyd: I'm Boyd! Number one! The best! Mr.Strongma-
boss kills boyd
Boyd: Nooooooooooooooooo!
Oscar: Oh my god! He killed Boyd!
Ike: You baaaugh I never liked him much anyway.
Titania rides up and kills boss
Titania: This mission is over! We won!
Ike: Woo-hoo!
Titania: You did excellent Ike. Prepare yourselves for tomorrow.
Ike: Ok! I'm tired.
End Chapter 1