Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.
Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear
The Lord Demeni is not an evil lord, he is merely a bit confused at times. (Read that as all the time.) He always means well, but not necessarily what he says. He might say a word while actually meaning to say another word, or he thinks the meaning of the word is entirely different from what he means.
Using misinterpretations of the English Language was an idea that Breon Briarwood gave me, and I have used it, so if you like it, give some credit there. Lord Demeni shall appear later as well.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.
I own the Lord Demeni and the Lord Barladro, and anyone who think himself or herself able to guess at the meaning of those names are welcome to do so.
And now for something completely different, a story instead of a note. Please read this creation of mine that somehow was called a story.
/Elenhin
Poisoned Potion
"We can not do anything until we have received a report." Aragorn said patiently. He was beginning to tire of saying it. Two months ago there had begun to come a rumour that Orcs had been sighted deep in Ithilien. When the number of people claiming to have seen them grew Aragorn decided that it was time to find out exactly what was going on. Two weeks ago he had sent out Faramir to see if he could discover anything.
His young Steward was after all a skilled Ranger. He would be able to find their tracks if there had ever been any. He was also a very competent Captain should need be. If there actually were Orcs, then it was possible that the men sent would have to fight.
Now as they sat in Council the Councillors and nobles were beginning to speak for immediate action. He could however not send out troops before he knew what the situation was like.
"How long can we wait?" A pompous Lord demanded. "Shall we wait with action until the farmers have all been slain?" He demanded
"No my Lord." Aragorn sighed tiredly. "But neither should we act when we still not know what we are facing. It might be nothing more than a rumour, to send out the whole army to deal with a rumour would be pointless."
"The farmers speak out of fear." Lord Barladro exclaimed. He would not be swayed by reason.
He was one of these Lords that was convinced the country would never survive without him. The country rather did not care as long as it did not have to deal with him personally. Aragorn had to, and he rather envied the rest of the country.
"My Lord." He said again. "Never would I hold back the army when there was need of it, but our army is not as great a number as it formerly was. I would rather send a small number of men that knew what they were dealing with, and was trained for dealing with just that. Than I would send out a greater number that was not prepared for it. Surely you see the reason in it."
"I see that we can not wait forever for a report. How long after we get it will it be before we can act?" Lord Barladro demanded.
"That depends on how long the Council shall insist on discussing what should be done." He said tiredly. "I myself am confident we could have the order for the men to ride a mere few hours after I receive that report."
"That could be much to late for the farmers."
"I repeat we only have rumours this far. We do not know if they have actually seen Orcs."
"They have my King." A new, gentle voice stated. "But as of yet the Orcs have not attacked any farmers."
All looked to see the new speaker. Faramir had arrived back at the citadel, and upon learning that the King was in Council, decided to seek him out there. If the King wished to receive his report in private, that was easily arranged, and if not, then they could save time by his reporting directly to the Council.
His clothes was heavily stained with the dirt that tends to stick to a man that is travelling. There was also the occasional blood stain on them, and the not particularly clean cloth that was tied around his left upper arm. He looked quite exhausted, and there was a hot flush to an otherwise pale face.
He did however have an air of firm strength and confidence around him. The same as he so often seemed to project. He was also steady enough on his feet.
"Faramir, are you well?" Aragorn asked concerned.
"Well enough, thought I shall need some rest later." He nodded. "I would deliver my report if it pleases you." Here he knelt before the King to show his respect.
"There are many waiting eagerly for that report." Aragorn said, and winked at the younger man. They had shared many jokes on behalf of the Councillors. "Please deliver it to us. I take it you know it was Orcs for a fact." He offered a grin, and as he bid the man to rise he briefly touched a cheek to feel the heat of a slight fever. Nothing to be concerned about, but as soon as this Council was over, he would tend to his friend.
"Ah, yes." Faramir turned partly so that he faced the whole Council. "We did indeed find their tracks, and we also found the Orcs themselves shortly after that. And then regrettable, the Orcs found us."
There was a few chuckles at the wording he used. Lord Demeni spoke before he could continue. The Lord was rather likable, he was a bit distracted at times, and not a little confused at other times, but he was one Lord that put his people before himself. Even if one might not believe it by looking at his waistline.
"Since the Prince appears rather worn out, and the report shall no doubt take some time." He began. "I would send for some refreshment for him ere he begins." He offered a friendly smile and a pointed look at the makeshift bandage around his arm. "And perhaps some poison would not go amiss either."
"What?" Aragorn managed to choke out. Faramir looked positively baffled.
"I meant no offence." Lord Demeni hurried to say. "Merely that since the Prince appears to be injured, the healers might be able to provide something for him."
"Potion." Faramir muttered, quiet enough that only the King heard him. "How does he manage to mix up potion with poison."
The King chuckled. "It is a kind thought." He assured the Lord. "I would appreciate if you would call for some light refreshment. I think we all might need some. As for the potion I intend to take care of the Prince ere we are done here." He sounded out the word clearly, thought he doubted that the Lord would catch on to his mistake. He did however have a strong feeling that had the Lord sent for any Faramir would have refused it. Afraid that the Lord might have sent for the wrong mixture. It was a rather interesting mistake to make.
The refreshment arrived and Faramir came to the end of his report. "We shall hardly need to send out the whole army." He stated. "A number of well equipped patrols with enough men in each should have no trouble dealing with them."
The King gave the order and then closed down the Council meeting. Taking his young Steward with him to tend to him in private.
He cleaned the cut on his arm and closed it with a few stitches. Then cleaned a small number of minor cuts.
"Nothing serious." Aragorn assured him. "Just get some rest and it shall not hinder you at all."
"I was able to determine as much myself." Faramir smiled. "We were lucky. We did not lose anyone, and no one was even seriously injured."
"Lucky indeed." Aragorn agreed, and handed him a tin mug. "Now drink all of this and take some sleep."
"What is it." Faramir peered into the mug cautiously. "You had better not allowed Lord Demeni anywhere near it."
Aragorn could not help but chuckle mirthfully. "You need not fear. It is not his poison, but a potion entirely of my own making. It is perfectly safe. Merely something to ease the pain and help you sleep just a little bit easier."
"That is alright then." Faramir sipped it, and found it was not only safe, it was also sweetened with honey. "How he manages to mix these things up are beyond me."
"But he makes for many laughs." Aragorn beamed.
"That he does." Faramir agreed, draining the mug. Pondering what the Lord should mix up next.
The End, for this time as well. As so often happens, more shall follow. That is why it is called an temporary ending
Silver Sniper, I made it temporary for your sake, otherwise it would have been an, the end for now. I hope you like it
LalaithoftheBruinen: Glad you like Carl, we have plenty more of him planned. I have not seen the Extended Edition yet, but I am trying to get those of my friends whohas boughtit to lend it to me. I can't wait until someone does.
Silver Sniper: When we manage to film it, you shall have a copy, and you shall have many more temporary endings. Sounds like a lovely walk, or not. As a scout who plays the trumpet I think I know what you went through, I feel sorry for you. Hopefully these weird things lightens up a bad day.
Lindahoyland: You are supposed to laugh the whole time, if you did not it would not be funny. We, being Celebrion and me, (I am not schizophrenic just yet,) also like to link David Wenham's roles together, so keep an eye out for them. I think that I can actually see Eomer using anything that is an insult. Do you want me to see if I can find something even weirder insult for him at some later point?
frodo16424: Yes the Kingdom of Dust was constructed for these two, I am glad that you think it fits them. Thank you so much for the vote, the progress can be seen on my author's page.
Here I would like to thank everyone who reads my works, thank you.
Here it must also be said that in the tale "A Two Colour Chain Mail," we started the vote based on the fact that Sean Bean and David Wenham made the perfect image of two brothers. We also got plenty of agreement on that.
So here it is, if you agree with us and think that they should be real brothers. Say so in your review. It shall be your vote. On my authors page, in the bio I shall keep score. When the score reaches 100, they shall be declared official brothers. Then on my authors page shall be an official declaration written by Elenhin and Celebrion.
Then the truth can not be denied, they shall be brothers.
Thank You all for reading, and thank you even more for reviewing.
Kindest Regards to all, Elenhin