Author's Notes:
I feel very insecure about this chapter – probably more so than about any of my other chapters. I like the next one much better, but of course I can't leave this out, it's important for the plot after all. I hope you still like it and feel this chapter can live up to your expectations after all. I still don't feel it's done as well as I'd like it to be, but at the moment it's not going to get any better.
Very small chapter disclaimer:
Only two names this time – An Italian restaurant named "La Dolce Vita" (unimaginative, like Seto thinks) and a jazz band called "The Sandman's Sisters" (weird name but I've seen worse, trust me). They're both my own creation.
Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! Especially those I didn't get the chance to mail and thank personally!
7. Tactless
The sycamore leaves were rustling softly in the gentle night breeze. The black limousine pulled into the parking space in front of the three largest trees, shaded in darkness and starlight. The driver's door opened and a man in a black suit opened the door for Seto to step out as gracefully as he knew how. He walked up to the small house, on the little path between the flowerbeds until the light in the house suddenly went off at the same time as someone stepped out of the door, locking it and walked up to him. They met in the middle of the flowerbeds, and Seto took Yami's hand, pulled it to his lips and softly kissed the knuckles.
He was certain Yami was blushing, although he couldn't see it in the dark. With a smirk he led the smaller boy to the limousine, where Isono held open the door for them. As a businessman he had done this a thousand times, kisses on the backs of a thousand women's hands whose husbands he needed to convince of a business project, so it had felt like a natural gesture to him.. It had been nicer than usual though, and he suspected it was Yami's fault.
However, they were on their way now, Yami's hand still in his as they sat in silence, smiling at each other occasionally whenever the punk didn't get distracted by the stars shining in through the glass roof in the ceiling of the car.
Seto meanwhile took his time to admire Yami's outfit. He wore a black suit, as Seto had requested, but hadn't settled for the usual white shirt underneath. Obviously he liked himself better in black and crimson, and a black leather collar, and Seto too felt white and common just didn't suit the little guitarist. He needed colour and accessories as other people needed shoes to make their attire complete.
Seto leaned back, looking down on himself and nodding. He was content with his black dragon embroidery coat. Even if it had to be formal tonight, both of them remained true to their own style of clothes.
Finally they arrived at the restaurant. Smiling, Seto again climbed out of the car. He had waited an entire week until he had been able to see Yami again since his last visit, the band being busy, the company being busy, and he thought it was worth a little celebration. Tonight had to be good for Yami, he decided. The other boy shouldn't even notice his disadvantage anymore, he would take care of that.
Together, though not hand in hand this time, they walked up to the most expensive Italian Restaurant in town, La Dolce Vita, which was an entirely idiotic and unimaginative name, in Seto's opinion. A waiter welcomed them at the door, and Seto nodded at the considerable effort these people must have made to create at least a remotely Italian atmosphere. Decoration, pictures and music momentarily made him close his eyes and remember the only business trip in his life that had ever taken him to Rome, a city that had impressed him in some ways none of the cities in his home country could.
Waiters stopped mid-movement to bow to them, something Seto didn't even notice anymore but flustered Yami greatly as they walked towards a small table for two, next to an open window with a beautiful view of the night sky. Seto first took off Yami's jacket then his own coat and two waiters pulled out the chairs for them to sit down.
As soon as the waiters were finally gone, Yami lifted his hands and began to sign. This is strange. I don't think I can get used to it
"You will", Seto assured him quietly, "And don't worry if you don't immediately, we won't be at restaurants like this one very often. I don't like the fuss either, but they tell me the food is exquisite"
Yami nodded in understanding and his gaze once more travelled through the length of the room, taking in the wooden furniture, the windows, the stylish lamps. The waiters returned with white bread, a plate of olives and a small bowl of olive oil for each of them, then handed them two menus and stood back, waiting for their order.
Seto quickly scanned the aperitifs, deciding on a Martini, then raised a questioning eyebrow at Yami. The smaller boy shrugged and lifted the menu, gesturing to the waiter to come and take up his order.
"Wait", Seto said, putting his hand on top of Yami's, effectively blocking the movement. He peered into the other's menu and noticed where his finger was pointing. Leaning back he nodded and addressed the waiter, "A Campari Soda for the gentleman here, and a Martini for me. That is all."
Disappearing with a nod, the waiter left them to themselves. An uneasy look remained on Yami's face, but he smiled at Seto and relaxed under the firm grip he still had on his hand, resting on top of the table cloth now.
Negligently, Seto broke off a piece of bread and dipped it into the olive oil before putting it into his mouth. Quickly Yami imitated him, happily chewing. Seto grinned and shook his head in order to hide it. "Don't eat too much bread. We still have an antipasto to go, then the main course and then dessert. Hmm, I think I'll take Carpaccio first. What would you like?"
The smaller boy contemplated the options again, then chose something, turning the menu to show Seto what he wanted. "Very good choice", he commented, smiling, "Mozzarella with tomato. That is one of my favourites too."
For a second time the waiter stepped around their table, bringing their aperitifs. Seto took the chance to order light Chianti for the both of them. When Yami tried to catch the waiter's attention again, Seto shook his head and ordered both his and the little punk's antipasto.
Carefully, they sipped their drinks, while Yami signed again, starting a conversation.
How was your day?
"Oh, alright, really the same as usual", Seto commented. Talking about his work was something he just wasn't used to doing yet. It had been an intimate and secretive part of his life for such a long time that he simply couldn't come out with it so easily. "I finally finished that program I've been working on for three weeks."
That's great, Yami replied, I am very happy for you. When are you going to…it?
"Excuse me, could you repeat the last part?"
More slowly this time the mute boy repeated the movement, both fisted hands, palms facing in front of his chest, were pivoted forward and down in unison.
"Hmm", Seto guessed, "since we were talking about my program…'present' maybe?", which earned him a satisfied nod from his conversation partner. "Well, in a little more than a week, I still have to do a few test runs."
You will be very busy next week, I take it, Yami questioned with his hands, a look of disappointment on his face.
"Well, not that much" Seto shrugged. "The hardest part of it is already done, I should have more time than the last two weeks, at least"
The other gave him a smile. I'm relieved to hear that
Two plates with their antipasti were placed on their table together with a bottle of wine, complete with a waiter rattling off the many qualities of its contents. Yami, despite not having a bad taste in wine, didn't seem particularly interested, but fortunately the waiter was soon done with his speech and vanished from sight.
"So…", Seto took up their conversation again after briefly tasting his Carpaccio. "How was your band rehearsal?"
Not bad, Yami answered, glancing down at his plate, We have two new songs for the concert on Wednesday. The concert in…..
"In Tokyo?" Seto had to guess again for he had no idea how a city's name could be expressed in sign language. Fortunately Yami had told him about the concert in one of his mails. Privately, he made a mental note to ask Mazaki Anzu about that particular aspect of signing.
Yami nodded Yes. But I won't have any rehearsals till Wednesday, because the others are already in Tokyo. I told them I'd come on Tuesday. So, theoretically, we could see each other again this weekend
"I hope I understand you correctly", Seto asked for reaffirmation, just to be safe. There were still so many gaps in understanding he had to fill with logical guesses. "You want to meet me this weekend because you will go to Tokyo later?"
Exactly. Would you like?
Seto nodded with a smile. "Saturday, 4th September, 6.30 pm at your house? What do you think?"
With another nod Yami agreed and grinned at Seto. Be prepared. I am going to choose where we will go this time Winking, he waved his fork at Seto and finally finished his Mozzarella.
The waiters reappeared to take their next order and Yami quickly signed, You don't have to order for me, I am not …..
"What was that?", Seto demanded. Once again Yami repeated the movement but it didn't make any more sense to him. "You know what, it's ok, I'll just order for both of us. What do you like for main course and desert?"
Tentatively the waiter stepped closer to Yami. "If you would like, gentleman, I could recommend someth…"
"Leave him alone", Seto snapped. When the waiter all but jumped back Yami gave him a small glare for scaring the poor man but he ignored the other boy. "I will take gnocchi al gorgonzola and tiramisu for dessert. And my friend would like…" He gave Yami a look to which the other narrowed his eyes at him again but pointed at a meal on the menu.
"He would like lasagne al forno. No dessert?" Yami shook his head and Seto stared at him a little harder, trying to find out what was suddenly wrong with him.
Bowing to Seto, the waiter took his leave and silence stretched between the two until Seto lost his patience and picked up the conversation again. "How long will you stay in Tokyo?"
I don't know. Depends, was Yami's curt answer.
"Depends on what?" Seto was slightly exasperated. As far as he knew he hadn't done anything that would give Yami a reason for treating him like that. He had simply ordered for him so he would have it easier, he had to understand that. It wasn't like Seto had told him what to choose or chosen for him.
It seemed, though, that Yami's good mood was returning, and he risked a tentative smile. Depends on when we'll meet again
Seto grinned back at him. "In that case I would recommend you take the fastest flight back to Domino." Suddenly a thought occurred to him. "Are you flying alone?"
Yes, of course. Yami replied Why?
Frowning, Seto explained. "I don't think I like that. I'd feel better if one of the others went with you."
Abruptly, Yami put down the wine glass he had been sipping from and stared unbelievingly at him. Quickly he shrugged, "Well, I know sometimes it can't be avoided and you are an adult after all."
Averting his gaze from Seto's and staring at the table, Yami gave a small nod. Again there was silence and Seto couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was that upset Yami so much. This wasn't about pride, it was about Yami's safety, and the other had to know that just as well as he did.
The waiters chose that moment to reappear with their main course, deliciously looking and smelling wonderful, but the silence was pressing heavily on his senses and dulling the flavour to something unimpressive and unimportant.
This one was different from all the silences he had experienced with Yami. Ever since he had met the other, and even before that, silence had been a part of his life and just as important as conversation. It had in some ways been easier getting used to the silence than to the other's mails or their written conversations, because silence at least had been something familiar, something they shared. But never had silence felt like this, so menacing, so uncomfortable.
"How do you like your meal?", he tried again.
It's very good, Yami replied, somewhat unenthusiastic, and continued to eat.
The waiter interrupted their silence by asking, "Do you need anything else, gentlemen?"
This time Yami didn't look at Seto, simply waved the man over and pointed at his empty glass of water.
"He would like some more water", Seto spoke for him without thinking, and Yami jumped up.
"Yami?" As the other stared down at him, eyes narrowed to small menacing slits, hands clenched at his sides, jaw set firmly, Seto felt a sudden spark of indignant anger. What the hell had he done wrong? Leaning back, he crossed his arms, staring back and demanded quietly, "Is there something you need?"
Obviously that had been wrong as well, for Yami shook his head and pulled his blue conversation book out of his pocket.
He violently ripped a page out of it, while the waiter continued to stare rudely, and scribbled something down, not in his usual languid verve but quick and hacked-off movements, throwing it onto the table along with the money for his food.
Then, without so much as a glance at the perplex Seto, he left the room, leaving him with the unfinished meal.
He certainly wouldn't call.
Seto sat in front of his home PC, furiously hitting the keys. It was the day after the incident at "La Dolce Vita" and he had just returned from work, skipping lunch and grumbling something inaudible when Mokuba had asked him what had happened.
He saw absolutely no reason for him to call that number. How could he have been foolish enough to go along with this for more than three weeks? He should have known, things like that were not for him. No romance, no dinners with silent strangers, nothing beyond the physical. Yami had left him at the restaurant and to his ultimate embarrassment he had even left the money for his meal. As far as he knew the other didn't even have a reason. He had simply tried to help, and instead of being grateful Yami had jumped up and run out, leaving behind the phone number.
Why would Yami give him a phone number anyways? It was highly suspicious, and certainly part of a strategy he didn't know about. He would play right into that strategy if he called that number now. But if he didn't….he'd never find out.
Seto narrowed his eyes. Obviously Yami wasn't finished with him but was making up some mysterious plan. He didn't like plans being made without him knowing. And wasn't it just another challenge from the mute boy? Well. After all he could end the call as soon as someone picked up on the other end.
Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, Seto checked his watch, then quickly dialled the number Yami had written on that piece of paper he had left for him.
After the second ring he could hear the phone being picked up and a gentle voice demanded, "Hello? Who's speaking?"
"I first need to know who it is I'm speaking to", Seto replied, unwilling to give his identity away.
"Kaiba Seto?", the voice demanded, sounding curious and a little amused. Seto's mouth fell open, eyes narrowing. He had been right about Yami planning something then. He had to find out more.
When he didn't say anything else, the voice on the other end of the line got a slightly nervous undertone. "Uh, are you still there? I'm sorry if I got that wrong…but my brother told me Kaiba Seto was probably going to call me today"
Seto took a deep breath. There was only one logical conclusion, and that meant….
"I'm Mutou Yugi. Please don't hang up, Mr Kaiba. I need to have a word with you."
Well. He wanted to find out, didn't he? Cursing himself, Seto grunted into the phone and leaned back in his chair.
"Well, Mr Kaiba. Yami sent me a mail yesterday evening, basically telling me he was an idiot, giving you my phone number, but he somehow thought perhaps I could be the one to sort this out because I didn't have his temper and that he didn't want to give up on this, on you and him, if you know what I mean. I think you should keep that in mind. Do you want me to help?"
"No", Seto said on impulse. "I don't need anyone's help"
Yugi was silent for a moment. "But you didn't hang up", he then stated quietly. "Can I just ask you something? Do you think Yami needs help?"
Seto didn't answer for he didn't have an answer to that question. Yugi tried anew.
"You see how difficult life is for Yami. Don't you sometimes want to help him?"
"Of course", he snarled indignantly, wondering if he shouldn't just turn his cell phone off after all. This was pointless and angered him to no end. How dared that boy assume anything about him?
"But, to be honest, Kaiba Seto, does Yami really need that help?" Again Seto was silent, getting a distinct impression where this was headed.
"I take it you agree with me that he doesn't. And, if you allow me a little guess, this is what yesterday was about, right? Kaiba Seto, you have to know one thing. My grandfather and myself, and all our friends too, had to go through this, and I can tell you it's not easy, but we all have to accept that Yami doesn't need help and doesn't want it either, most of the time. I can feel that you know very well about pride and being unable to accept help. Wouldn't it be easier for you to understand Yami?"
"No", Seto grunted, "I have no idea why he ran from the restaurant yesterday. I was just trying to help, I ordered for him, so what? And I wondered if it was good for him to fly to Tokyo on his own. That's not about pride, it's about his safety."
"Did he ever tell you about Mahaado?", Yugi wondered and again Seto stayed silent. No, Yami hadn't told him about anybody of that name. There was a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach as he pressed the phone closer to his ear. "Well, Mahaado was his only relationship ever, before…well, this. He keeps telling people it went apart because they didn't have time for each other with Yami playing in the band. That's the official reason Mahaado gave him when he left him. In truth the relationship ended weeks before, at least for Yami, since Mahaado tried to keep him from going away with his band, telling him it was too dangerous for him. It started with simple things like Mahaado doing the shopping for Yami, to make it 'easier' for him. Do you understand now? Yami wants to save this before it is too late. Mahaado was a wonderful boyfriend but he couldn't see Yami as the person he was, as someone that is perfectly capable of being alone."
"Then what does he want me to do?", Seto snapped, tired of the name 'Mahaado' in connection with the term of 'wonderful boyfriend', "Watch him trying to communicate with a dense waiter when I could make it so much easier for him?"
"No", Yugi sighed. "I told you it's difficult. It's more complex than this. You have to know when Yami needs to do things on his own. You learn that by studying him really carefully and getting to know him. After a while you will know when he wants help and when he doesn't."
Seto hated what he was going to say next, but this was Yami's brother and if anyone could help him answer that question, it was him.
"So what should I do now?"
He could almost hear Yugi's smile. "Yami doesn't need a guide-dog or a stick to lean on. He needs someone by his side, someone who genuinely cares. I know you can do that, Kaiba Seto. Make sure that he knows, too."
Somehow it made sense, and somehow, hearing Yugi talk about this, it didn't sound so difficult anymore. "Mutou Yugi", he asked with a small smirk, "have you ever thought about studying psychology? You would be good at it"
With that he hung up.
Nervously, Seto sat at the park bench, glancing at his watch. It was Saturday, 4th September, 7.17 pm, which meant Yami was two minutes late. That was, if he appeared at all and that depended on if he had gotten his mail and decided to come. He hadn't received an answer yet, which he found strange. Still he had gone to the park, trying to hope for the best.
The sun was steadily crawling towards the horizon as minute for agonizing minute ticked by. 'Only a few more moments then I'm giving up and leaving' he was thinking when suddenly a patch of red and black appeared at the entrance to the park. Sitting up straighter he watched Yami come closer. He was dressed in black leather pants and a red shirt with a black Chinese dragon, and he didn't smile as he came to stand in front of Seto's bench.
"Hello Yami", he said quietly. The other boy nodded in greeting and sat down next to him.
Silence fell heavily and Seto listened to the wind whispering in the trees above them, cursing himself again.
Glancing at Yami, he noticed that the other was watching him out of the corner of his eye.
It was something about those deep red eyes that made him finally say something, but it was not what he had originally planned to say.
"I am sorry about what happened at the Italian restaurant. I didn't mean to make you feel like this, I know what it feels like when someone underestimates you. I'll try to let you do things on your own, but you have to know that I just wanted to make things easier for you."
He wanted to slap himself. Not once in his life had he sounded so pathetic.
But Yami looked up at him with a strange gleam in his unique eyes and even as the other's closeness and intent gaze made his breathing speed up he wondered if what he had said hadn't been so bad after all. Then Yami began to sign, It's alright. I'm sorry too, I got so angry back then, and desperate
"You mean because you've experienced it all before, with someone else?" Somehow Seto couldn't keep jealousy out of his voice, even though he had meant it to be merely a statement.
Blushing a little, Yami nodded.
At that moment he looked so beautiful, sunlight in his hair and on his flustered face, that Seto decided he was worth losing a bit of his dignity, regardless of the consequences. He slid closer on the bench and put his hand onto Yami's, interlacing their fingers. When he met no resistance, except from his own pride, he continued to talk.
"Yami. I'm going to learn this, and I'm not going to give up until I can read what you want me to do or to say in your eyes. Give me time."
Then, gently, entranced beyond rational thought, he reached for Yami's face, lifting his chin which he cradled in his palms and softly pressed his cheek to the other's. Feeling Yami's breath catch in his throat he smiled and moved on, nuzzling his face against the smaller boy's skin, breathing whispers of his name into his ear until Yami's arms came up to circle his waist, palms flat against his back and pressing closer.
As he felt Yami accepting him and melting into him in a simple change of his sitting posture, Seto began to kiss him, letting his lips play with Yami's first, nudging and nipping them until the other's hands moved from his back to his face, holding him still while Yami finally tilted his head to catch Seto's lips in a long, deep kiss that sent shudders down his spine.
Suddenly, Yami pulled back, very gently, pressing kisses up and down Seto's cheekbones in a flight of desperate need to taste and keep the taste on his tongue for as long as possible. Finally, he leaned back, leaving Seto's face completely, his hands dropping to his sides.
Then he pulled out his conversation book and a pen. Seto felt the sting of reject in his heart and wondered nervously what was happening. Yami didn't look happy, didn't even look remotely composed. His hand was shaking a little as he wrote.
Eventually, Yami handed him the book, refusing to look at him, and stared at a group of children playing in a sand pit not far away. Closing his eyes briefly, Seto tried to regain his composure and began to read.
My dear Seto,
I wish I hadn't been so angry at you, but I was scared of losing you the same way I lost my last boyfriend. And so I went and did the one thing my last boyfriend wouldn't have allowed me to do.
You know, three days ago our manager came up with the idea of going on a tour for a month, starting with the concert in Tokyo. There has been an offer from a music producer who heard us at the Melody River, looking for a band that would go on tour with the Sandman's Sisters, a very well known jazz band. The others agreed, even if Isis wasn't too happy (you know she has a boyfriend herself). At first I was against it. But then…I got so angry and I…I agreed. I'm going to be away for a month, Seto.