Part 14:
Rinoa spent the next few hours that way, just gazing at the painfully tired boy, who slept deeply with a peculiar frown on his warn out face.
As the hours went by, Rinoa thought about the whole situation. Why Squall had ran away, why he had left his Gunblade behind, why he had dropped his necklace on the forest grounds. She couldn't help thinking about all of that. But after thinking so much, she had come to a logical conclusion. If Squall had left his Gunblade, his Griever and everybody else behind, it was because he didn't want anything to do with them anymore. Certainly he had a reason. And she was quite sure it was a good one. Of course he couldn't just forgive her that way, she thought. She had been so harsh on him, so disrespectful, so heartless. Squall wanted to be on his own and she had to respect that. She could only think of this option, from what she knew of Squall, he would have never just abandoned his Gunblade or his Griever. As he himself had said, it had great importance to him. He must have had been very down to just react this way. He must have been feeling like abandoning himself, forgetting his past, his identity. She couldn't let him break down like that, she thought. He wasn't going to loose his identity, she wasn't going to let him. He could be on his own again, he could leave her and never come back, but she wasn't going to let him break down this way, he wasn't going to forget who he was. His identity nobody could put away, not him, not anyone.
Rinoa had decided. As much as she loved him, she couldn't force him to be with her, she had to respect his decisions and chose what was best for him. She didn't want him to suffer, if she was the cause of it.
'…Squall…this is it, I guess… where our story ends…I love you, that's why I'm doing this... because I know this is what you need…to be on your own again…I don't hold it against you…I know it's what you need, it's your true nature to be alone and not I nor anyone can change that…I wont feel the same for anyone else...and for your own good, don't abandon your identity…you are Squall…Squall Leonhart…Don't ever forget that…You are one of the greatest SeeD's ever known…you have saved the world from the hands of the most powerful sorceress and crossed time lines not anyone can…you are brave like no one else I've ever known and nobody can deny what you have done…don't ever forget that…' she whispered as she continued glaring at him sadly…
'…I must go…don't hate me…this is the last thing I ask you…don't hate me for the things I've done…everything I did, was either because I love you so much… or because I was scared to loose you…please remember me as the one who loves you no matter what...you are always in mind and above all in my heart…you stand first in here…' Rinoa got up slowly, tears growing in her eyes and kept staring at him with great sorrow…but she knew it was right, she had to do this, it was for his own good. This was how much she loved him, enough to live far away from him, separate lives, just to help him get back on his feet…
Before leaving she placed his Gunblade next to him carefully and then sat back on her knees to put his necklace back around his neck, where it belonged.
As she tried to clip the necklace back together, Squall's suddenly raised his arm and grabbed her hand…Rinoa had caught the fright of her life…
Squall's eyes were closed; he was sleeping, but somehow was semi-conscious.
'…nah…' he mumbled, his voice trembling as he started gasping desperately…
Rinoa stood still, shocked; Squall was talking in his sleep…
'…n…na…no…' he mumbled softly now frowning even more, his hair still hiding his stressed face…
'…Rin…no…' he mumbled now in great sadness as he winced slightly and shook his head…
'…don'…please…sorr…y…don'…go…' he moaned sadly as if he were about cry…
Squall talked in his sleep as he continued laying his head against the log, his chin still touching his chest with his legs spread out as the lively fire lit his face hidden by his untidy hair.
'…Squall?...what is it?' Rinoa gasped softly as she stared at him, brushing his hair out of his sore face with her fingers as he winced and whimpered softly.
Squall then pushed himself a little up the log with his legs making his head hang over the log as he winced a bit more…
'…don't go…' he murmured more clearly now…
'…Squall…' she looked at him in fear as he continued holding her arm, now tighter…
'…I thought you didn't want me around anymore…' she murmured as her voice trembled nervously…
'…s'too much…' he murmured bleakly still with his eyes shut…
'…too much?… what?...' Rinoa was confused; she continued staring at him awaiting him to respond.
'…too much… I can't take…' he moaned now jerking his chest upwards…
'...I'll kill him…kill…' he groaned, swallowing hardly as he banged his other hand on the log, moving his head irritably from one side to another…
'…no, Squall…'
'…he wants to hurt you, Rin…he wants to take you from me…don't you see!...' Squall murmured now lifting his head up and dropping it down again.
'…don't leave me…not again…' he moaned so softly you could barely hear him …
'…I'm here…I'm not going anywhere…I promise…' Rinoa's heart broke at the sound of these words as tears rushed down her face. She tried to comfort his anxiety, brushing his hair backwards as she approached him and wrapped her arms around him…
'…just relax…don't worry, I'm right here…' she whispered in his ear, holding him closer to her…
Squall started to relax, his body started to feel less tense and his breathing slowed down a bit…
'…what are we fighting for? I don' wanna fight no more…' he mumbled as he pulled her hand closer to his…
'…stupid things…I don't want to fight either, really I don't…these things happen all the time…it's all my fault…I should've understood what you felt at that moment…I'm so sorry, Squall…please forgive me…' she touched his face, begging him for forgiveness as her chest burned with emotion…
'…lo..ve you…' he murmured softly.
Rinoa smiled still touching his face lovingly.
'…b-beautiful hands…' he murmured as a little smile grew in the corner of his mouth…
Rinoa smiled delightedly. She wasn't used to having Squall talk so from the heart and so openly…It was weird, but it felt good. She found Squall so charming when he talked openly.
After gazing at him for a few moments, rubbing his face gently with her fingers, a thought started to take over her mind.
'Squall…' she continued to stroke his face…
'…why did you run away…?' she asked gently as she continued stroking his sore face...
Squall's smile faded away slowly…'…Laguna…' he murmured as his lips suddenly dropped down in sadness and a painful frown appeared again, making him get all restless, his heart pounding and his breathing fastened.
'Laguna? W-what happened…did you fight?' Rinoa questioned worriedly…
'…he's my father…' he murmured now shutting his eyes tightly, turning his face away…
'…what!' Rinoa squeaked in disbelief as she clapped her hand on her mouth…
'…how…when…how do you know?...I don't get it…' she whispered now pulling his face back in her direction as she felt his hand slowly let go of hers…
'…he wants me… to be his son…and I can't…I can't be…I can't!' Squall started grabbing the log furiously with his other hand started pulling his own hair…
'Urgh!...' he groaned as he tortured himself, shutting his eyes tightly as he groaned furiously…
'…why now?...' he grumbled as he pulled his hair tightly and starting scratching his own face…
'Squall…stop!' Rinoa pulled his hand away as he fought her with his arms, insisting on hurting himself…
'…I can't!...I hate myself!...I can't…I just can't be that…' he groaned loudly as he stretched his neck backwards in anxiety, wincing and started to whimper loudly, deeply in sadness. He continued to grab the log furiously with both hands as he cried out loudly…
'…I can't!...not now…I'm too tired…It's too late…I can't…s'too late…' he whimpered as his deep voice roared so sadly, it made Rinoa want to cry too…
Squall just went on whimpering loudly as he shut his eyes tightly and wrinkled his nose as if he suffered…
'… Squall…I'm so sorry…you don't have to talk about it…really…forget it…I'm stupid for bringing this up…just forget it…' she cried out as she watched him move his whole body tensely and restlessly...
Rinoa then forgot the idea of leaving him. She couldn't leave with him in this state. He didn't want her to leave. He needed her now more than ever…she wasn't going anywhere…
She sat closer to him and put her arms around him comfortingly as he continued to move around restlessly and whimper in sadness.
'…Rin…' he mumbled as he continued hiccupping.
'shh…I'm right here…we're together, that's all that matters right now, huh?…don't think about Laguna or Seifer, you don't have to…just rest…relax…shh…' she brushed his hair out of his face as he started to calm down slowly but surely…
'…I miss you…' Squall murmured softly as he continued to sleep, now much calmer…
Rinoa kissed his forehead in response as a little tear grew in her eye and she held him tightly in her arms closer to her chest as she rocked him around slowly, comfortingly…
There, part 14…
Did you like that? Please review and tell me what you think…I'm very grateful…
I'm sorry if there's a cheese overdose here, but this is what music does to me, ya know?
Thanks for reading once again and keep on reviewing…take two seconds of your life to make me happy, ok? Thanks for reading, thank you so much…
Right now I'm listening to The Rasmus, one of my favourite bands. yay:))))