Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.
Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear
In this chapter we are doing Danish. The joke of it is based upon the fact that Viggo Mortensen is Danish, and we thought that it was good enough basis for a joke.
This is another chapter that will be posted in two parts. The first have already been posted, and the second one is here.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.
Desiccating the Danish, part two.
Here continues Desiccating the Danish, witch makes this into part two, as I said.
Once again have I taken out my given word from its safe storage to post as promised, I hope that you all enjoy it.
/Elenhin
Two hours before lunch the next day Aragorn came into his study. He stood as he always did.
"Faramir, I'm afraid I need your help with this." Aragorn motioned at the paper in his hand.
"Certainly." Faramir nodded. He took the note and it was indeed the one he had left there the evening before. A small part of him said that it was not right to lead the King along, but then the Queen had asked him to do it.
"It is Danish my Lord." He said as he studied it closer.
"Aragorn, Faramir. Can you translate it for me?"
"Aye, Aragorn. I would be happy to do so for you." Faramir sat down at his desk again and took up his quill. Scribbling the translation onto another paper.
"Do not ask me what it is about." Aragorn turned slightly to look out the window. "I found it on my desk this morn and I have no idea where it came from." He hoped most sincerely that his desk had not taken to spitting out documents in a foreign tongue. He assured himself that that was merely paranoid thinking. There was no way a desk could create documents.
"The paperwork pours in too fast for one to keep track of it, Aye, I know." Faramir gave him a reassuring smile. He was not aware of Aragorn's fears about his desk, but managed to quench them just the same.
"Here you are my lord, Aragorn." Faramir corrected himself.
"Thank you." Aragorn took the paper. "I am ever so grateful that you can translate all these things for me." He smiled warmly at his friends. "Arwen wants to know if you would agree to take lunch with us."
"I have thus far not been able to deny the Queen anything." Faramir smiled wryly. "I do not expect that I will now either. If it is then I shall."
"I am glad for it, we enjoy your company greatly. It will be in our chambers." Aragorn grinned. "Thank you again for your help." He said motioning to the document. "Until lunch then my friend."
Faramir stood while the King walked out of his study, a sign of respect that he had not yet been able to cease. Even if the King had told him that there was no need.
Aragorn read the document as he walked back to his own study. It could not be, it had to be an error. What lady would ever write that she favoured him.
Yet it was what was written on the paper, and Faramir would not have made any error translating. He was too skilled. It had to be correct, and that meant that there was a lady who favoured him greatly. That was a scary thought, especially as he did not know how said lady had been able to have a note delivered to his study.
Feeling utterly confused he sat down at his desk again and tried to focus on his work. There was a document in front of him. He should take care of the document, it was a simple one. He should be able to take care of that. It was very simple, it only needed his signature on it, meaning he would write his name down at the bottom. He dipped his quill in the inkwell and scribbled his name, the spot on the paper was still blank.
He tried again, it did not work, there was not ink on the nib of the quill. He dipped it again, still no ink. He peered into the inkwell, it was empty.
Empty, that could not be, he peered into it again. He had filled it to the brim a mere few days ago. He was sure that there had been ink in it still when he left his study the evening before. How could it be empty now? Still it was.
He sighed and went to fill it up again. He must have used more ink than he had believed, or he had not refilled it when he thought that he had. For surely if he had it would not have been empty now.
Never mind though, there was ink in it again now, and he scribbled his name on the document. At least his mistaking about how much ink he had left had taken his mind off the strange document and he was able to concentrate on his work again.
Faramir came to the Royal chambers at lunchtime. He was even there a few minutes before Aragorn was. That way he was able to report to Arwen that Aragorn had indeed found the note and that he was utterly confused by it. As well as hoping they were satisfied, for it did not feel right to him to play such a prank on his King.
"Relax and enjoy it Faramir." Arwen recommended with an easy laugh. "He shall not be wrought with you for this." There was a twinkle of amusement in her eye. "I think that I shall tell you about a few of the pranks that Elladan and Elrohir have played on him over the years. Then you shall see that this is really a nice thing in comparison.
"Still it is not proper, my lady." Faramir smiled. "I shall do my part thought, and I have no doubt that your brothers have done worse as I have heard much about them. Neither do I have any doubt that our two Hobbit friends could have come up with worse."
Further discussion was prevented as Aragorn entered.
"I'm glad that you are already here Faramir." He said rubbing his hands together. "I am starving." He would talk with Arwen about the note later. When they had both retired for the evening. It was not something that should be discussed in front of others, even if Faramir knew about it as he had translated the note.
It was a good thing that Arwen was very understanding, she would not be upset, and she could probably offer some very good advice on what to do.
Lunch proved to be just what he needed. A good meal and pleasant company. Arwen was amusing Faramir with tales of her twin brothers. He laughed happily and even told of a few of Boromir's escapades. Neither Boromir or Faramir had ever played pranks in the meaning of pranks.
"But he loved to act the fool." Faramir explained it. "He could make the soldiers laugh whenever he wanted. The moral was never low when he was around."
"I know." Aragorn reached out a hand to squeeze his shoulder. He had noticed how skilled Boromir was at that on the quest of the ring. He had amused the others with wild tales the whole time, and Aragorn knew how heavily his death weighed on his brother. His little brother, the one that Aragorn wanted to protect now that he no longer had his elder brother to do it.
"He was special." Faramir stated. He could not put it into better words than that, and then he knew, how could it be wrong to aid the Hobbits to do something that Boromir would have done without hesitation. Aragorn had been a friend of Boromir, he had loved that trait in his brother, he would not mind.
"He was very special." Aragorn squeezed his shoulder in a comforting manner again. "He would have been so very proud of you."
Faramir nodded with a smile. Instead of offering his reluctant help he would now do it willingly.
The Hobbits came to him the same evening as they were to write a second note. This time Faramir not only aided them with spelling and grammar. He supplied them with a phrase here and there that would serve to make it better. The two Hobbits giggled as they went over the result, and sent Faramir away to place it in Aragorn's study.
As the day before Faramir slipped in without anyone noticing it. This time there were no documents on the desk, so he merely left it on the polished wood surface. Aragorn would see it as soon as he entered his study in the morning.
For once Aragorn felt very relaxed as he left for his study. He had discussed the strange Danish note with Arwen, and she had just laughed. Claiming that it was probably something that would not be repeated and that he should not worry about it. She had convinced him that Faramir would never tell anyone about it, and that there was nothing to worry about. Most likely it had been left by some love struck servant girl who wrote it in a language she hoped the King would never be able to read.
In his study he sat down by the desk and regarded all the documents that littered the surface. It seemed that it was always littered with official documents. Sighing he began to sort through them. Stacking them in different piles. Suddenly he came across another note that seemed to be in Danish. It looked just like the other one, but how could that be? He had desperately hoped that Arwen would be right and there would be nothing more of it.
Now he had two choices, either throw it onto the fire in the hearth and pretend he had never seen it. Or take it to Faramir to get it translated.
He glanced at the very tempting hearth, it was cold. No fire. That meant he would have to take it to Faramir to get it translated. He had rather thought that burning it was a sound option, but there was no helping it.
Faramir looked up when the door to his study opened, and then stood up as he saw who it was.
Aragorn waved at him to sit again and took the seat in front of the desk.
"There was another Danish note on my desk this morn." He said ruefully. "I have no idea of who are writing them."
"Do you wish me to translate it for you?" Faramir asked politely.
"I think that it would be best." Aragorn handed the paper to him. "Though I must say that this makes me uneasy. Have you ever experienced anything like this Faramir."
Faramir had taken the letter and was now writing the translation on another paper. It was easy since he already knew what it said.
"I have never had any secret admirer, no." He said absently as he wrote. "Boromir was the one who was admired, and none of the ladies ever wrote him letters." He looked up with a fond smile. "Then again a good few of them doubted his ability to read."
Aragorn chuckled. "He liked to give off the impression that he was dumber than he looked." He grinned. "Still I find it hard to believe that he was the only one with admirers. I have heard that quite a few ladies were fawning over you."
"If they were it was solely in the hopes of eventually gaining my brothers attention."
"Then why do they still gossip about you." Aragorn challenged. "Arwen tells me that you are quite popular among the ladies."
Faramir blushed, he had not thought the conversation would develop like this and he was trying to think of a way to end it.
"The next one to get anonymous love letters might very well be you." Aragorn teased.
"I very much doubt that." Faramir tried to shake of the suggestion. Eowyn was the only one who was interested in him rather than his position. He finished the translation hurriedly so that he would not have to continue that discussion. Aragorn was looking too smug for him to be comfortable.
"It's translated now sire." He said clearing his throat and handing the paper to Aragorn.
Aragorn skimmed through it and shook his head. "I do not believe this. It's a good thing for me that Arwen is not jealous or she might take offence."
Faramir nodded, though he knew there was no risk that the Queen would take offence. Not this time. Yet it was good to know that one's Queen treated one's King well. Faramir was not sure if the oath to protect the King meant he should bodily step between the King and Queen if said Queen was angered.
"We know one thing about whoever made this at least." Aragorn pointed out. "Whoever it is has some skills at poetry."
Faramir decided that it was a good thing that the King was not familiar with his previous attempts at verse, ere he might have recognized them.
"I hope dearly that this is the last one." Aragorn sighed. "Still, thank you for translating it. I am grateful."
"I am glad that I can be of service." Faramir nodded.
"I am also excepted to ask if you would take lunch with us again." Aragorn smiled. "Arwen claims that it is nice to eat with someone more sophisticated than a Ranger at times."
"Does she not know that I served as Ranger?" Faramir raised his eyebrows. He still was considered a Ranger by most.
"She does, but she believes that you will not cut your meat with your sword." Aragorn quipped. "That is what she thinks of me."
"Mayhap you should not prove your lady right so often." Faramir smiled.
"You are actually making some sense." Aragorn nodded with a smile. "That could actually work. I shall be sure to try it while we eat. Until then." He said in farewell.
Faramir chuckled silently as he was alone again, if nothing else Aragorn was an amusing King.
He made sure to arrive before the appointed time. Arwen greeted him with a smile when he came.
"I hope that everything went well." She smiled.
"It went well. "Faramir nodded. "It appears that our King finds the letters rather confusing, and he stated that he was most grateful that his Queen was not likely to be jealous."
"I would not have been even if I had not helped plan it." She assured him. "I do not torture my husband Faramir, you need not fear that."
"So this is not something that I shall expect from Eowyn then." He sighed with relief.
"Not initially no." Arwen gave him a wry smile. "Though I am sure she would be open to some suggestions I could make."
"Please do not." Faramir pleaded. "I do not think I would be able to hold onto my sanity if Eowyn were to play with my mind like that."
"Faramir, have you not yet understood that all women play with their husband's minds in some way or another. What other fun do we have?"
Faramir swallowed. "I do not think I dare to get married." He choked.
"Why ever would you not?" Aragorn had heard the last phrase as he entered. "You shall never know how wonderful it is if you allow your lady to frighten me."
"T'was not my own lady that frightened me." Faramir glanced at Arwen.
"So you have gotten letters of your own then." Aragorn brightened up at the prospect of not being the only one who were given strange letters. "You had better not let Eowyn find them. I do not think that she would be to happy over it."
"I rather doubt she would." Faramir swallowed, the conversation was beginning to make him feel uneasy, again. What was it with the King and Queen and the way they always found their way to the subjects that he would rather avoid?
"Estel, you are frightening him off, and Eowyn would not be happy with you either if you were the reason her betrothed ran off in fright."
"You mean that there is a reason for doing that?" Faramir did not like the way his voice had hitched.
"Of course not, do not be silly Faramir." Arwen laughed.
Yet when Faramir looked at Aragorn he was nodding with a solemn expression.
"It's too late, is it not." Faramir cleared his throat but it did not really help.
"Much too late." Aragorn nodded.
"Estel!" Arwen exclaimed.
"Still I have to admit that it is worth it." Aragorn rubbed his arm where Arwen had struck him lightly.
"You shan't regret marrying Eowyn." Arwen stated. "Now stop behaving like fools and come eat before the food gets cold."
"You promise that it is worth it?" Faramir whispered to Aragorn as they followed Arwen.
"I have not regretted my decision yet." Aragorn whispered back. "Though I must warn you about one thing thought."
"What?" Faramir hissed.
"Elves can hear the faintest whisper." Aragorn grinned as Faramir blushed having realized his mistake.
After a week Aragorn began fearing that he would lose his sanity. The strange notes kept pouring in. There were declarations of love, there were poems. The latest one was the worst though. Whoever wrote it had declared that her life was ruined since Aragorn would not respond to her pleadings.
She claimed to be in tears, since she had left her heart open and had been crudely ignored. There was some stains on the paper where some liquid had fallen. Aragorn assumed that it was the mentioned tears that had done it.
On his end Faramir sought to convince the others that it was time to end the fun while it was still fun. He claimed that it had begun to distract the King to far, and that he was afraid to reach a level where the King would actually initiate punishment.
"Lets just make sure that we end this with style." Arwen smiled. "We shall have a surprise for him when he comes for his lunch."
Aragorn was slightly surprised to see two Hobbits in is chamber as he and Faramir entered. Merry and Pippin was chatting happily with Arwen.
"I asked them to make us company today." Arwen smiled. "They claimed they had not gotten a decent meal in hours."
"We haven't." Pippin exclaimed. "No one in this City has ever heard of second breakfast."
"T'is really a shame." Merry nodded.
"We shall see if we can make that right then." Aragorn smiled. "I would not have my friends lack anything." He chuckled as they headed into the dining room. Faramir taking up the rear as he was slightly anxious about the reaction.
By Aragorn's seat was a bouquet of roses and a rolled up parchment.
"What is that?" He choked.
"I have no idea." Arwen held her mask perfectly. "I would say that you should see what it is and then tell us."
Aragorn unwrapped the parchment with the same care he would uncoil a venomous snake with. He stared at it in shook.
"Its Danish again." He complained. "Who is writing these weird letters in Danish?." Then his expression brightened. "Wait! This time it is signed." He suddenly looked very baffled. "Merry, Pippin, Arwen and Faramir. You have done this."
The two Hobbits lay laughing in a pile on the floor, Arwen was laughing so hard she looked like she might join them. Faramir looked just as much ashamed as amused.
"Faramir, all the time I've asked you for translating you were actually writing these?" Aragorn whined, and seeing his expression Faramir could no longer hold back the laughter.
When the laughter had subsided and they sat down to eat the explanations began.
"T'was our idea, mostly." Pippin grinned around a mouth full.
"We thought that since it did not work on Faramir it might work on you." Merry added helpfully.
"Faramir, you actually were a part of this, I am disappointed in you." The King said, though with a smile to take the sting from it.
"Aye, I was convinced to give my aid." Faramir nodded.
"He was most reluctant to do so." Arwen smiled at her husband. "I had to ask him after Merry and Pippin failed."
"Wouldn't do it no matter how much we begged at first." Pippin glared cheerfully at the Steward.
"T'was you who said that I should always obey my Queen." Faramir shrugged, glad that the King was not wroth with either one of them, yet feeling a little guilty over his part still.
"I think that I am beginning to regret my words." Aragorn muttered. "No, I take that back Faramir. You were in perfect right. How many times have I not said I want you to trust me as a friend. If that means I have to put up with things like this, than so be it." He grinned his most intimidating grin. "Besides, now I have the perfect excuse for taking revenge. Merry, Pippin, Shall you help me?"
Faramir gulped and nearly choked on his food.
"Ah, you need not fear, I shan't take any revenge on you." Aragorn assured Faramir with a laugh.
"You're no fun." Pippin whined.
"T'would have been fun." Merry stated sullenly.
"Why'd ye have to ruin it." Pippin glared at Aragorn
"Because Faramir looked near frightened enough not to sleep, and I need him to do his work. Of course if the two of you would take over the Steward's chores…" Aragorn allowed the sentence to be a threat hanging in the air.
"Ye don't have to worry Faramir, we won't let him take any revenge on ye." Pippin hurried to say.
"We'll protect ye." Merry promised and the others laughed at their expression.
"No more pranks for some time though." Aragorn said and the others nodded in agreement. All of them were quite satisfied for the moment.
Since there is a truce with the pranks there is nothing more for me to say for the temporality. I shall therefore take twenty four hours to reevaluate my temporally ending, then I shall decide that this can not be allowed to be and begin writing on the next chapter. With all temporally speed it shall be typed on my keyboard and some temporary next week it shall be posted.
Until then, fare ye all well and beware the Danish letters.
Pronounciation Guide by Celebrion:
Whaa! Nothing for me to do this week! I think I shall have to actually go study... Communal gasp of astonishment from my immediate enviroment.
Since there is nothing more here for me to do other than saying that my lovely co-author is beginning to 'temporary' lose her mind when writing these 'temporary' endings she loves,
I bid ye a pleasant week and an assurance that there will be a next week that'll stay whatever Elenhín decides to do about it. Pleasant dreams!
Silver Sniper: I agree, it is horrible not having anything to look forward to, and it makes me more proud than I can say, to know you look forward to this. Now you should be equally proud, I have been working myself to a sweat every week trying to make the title sound just right, as well as fit with the chapter, it does not always work, but I do my best.
Also, the word most commonly used for me and Celebríon is crazy, and insane. At least that is what everyone tells us, then again that is our friends, so we do not mind. Just thought you might like to know that.
Mysterious Jedi: Well, there are other people that could convince him, but it is not very likely that Aragorn will ask him to play a prank on Aragorn. Eowyn might be able to as well, but it would take more convincing, the Queen was just faster, and so we used her.
ForeverFaramir: Celebrían/ Frankly I'm beginning to tire of it slightly aswell. Everything is fun until you start learning the rules... I'm going to stick with it to the bitter end though, it'll great to have when I go to Ireland one day... And as for the kids, please do! My professor is from the Gaeltachta and a true activist for the survival of Gaelic both as a language and a lifestyle. He tells us to help promote the entire Celtic heritage to other people so they interest themselves in one or more of the languages, making the Celtic Section at my university grow (as we're the only one's the country having one!). And as for the Gaelic here, Elenhin and I are coming up with new plots whenever we speak to each other and not only Celtic languages are being used and abused... Continue to r&r, we love every word it!
Elenhín/ Yes, having kept them two in line I do not think it would be healthy to underestimate Arwen. Aragorn might have to be careful, I think that Faramir is safe though, Arwen has some older siblings protective instincts towards him. She will be nice to him, and take revenge at Aragorn at the same time.
Horsiegurl: Ah, and we are very grateful to you for telling us as usual. It means a lot to us.
Legolas's Girl 9: Thank you, it is always a pleasure to read your encouraging words. Thank you again meldir nin.
Lindahoyland: Well, they say that Faramir have the ability to read the hearts of men, I assume that works for Hobbits as well. Both Arwen and Aragorn are as always trying to prove to Faramir that they love him for a friend, just the way he is. They will be able to make him overcome his shyness. Considering how much I love your tale, I can not express how much it means to have you say you like this, Thank you.
Steelelf: I take it you were still rolling on the floor laughing when you wrote the review, well, it was supposed to make you laugh. So I shall just write that down as an success, and hope that you love just as much this time, if not more. Take care now, and may you laugh when you read this crazy thing.