Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.

Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear

Let us just say that this is a lot of different languages all in one take, and that if there is any mistakes with them we are sorry. You can see down at the bottom exactly what languages we have used, as well as what they translations of them are.

The plot this time comes from an idea of Legolas's Girl 9, and I modified it until it turned out the way I wanted it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.

Inquiries of Interesting Insults

The tavern maid brought an new round of frothing tankards of ale, no one knew how many they had had already, for she kept removing the old ones. It was however enough for the three men at the table to be quite drunk.

Eomer was surprised, pleasantly surprised though. Aragorn and Eomer was in Rohan. Aragorn on matters of state, and he had dragged Faramir along so that Eowyn would get to visit her brother. Not to mention that Aragorn was more than happy to have Faramir's help.

Eomer had rather expected something like that, and would in fact have been disappointed if Aragorn had not seen fit to bring Eowyn along.

The way he saw it Faramir was a bonus, for he wanted to get to know the man better. All of it which had been a pleasant surprise.

At first when his sister introduced them Eomer had though Faramir to be dull and boring. A man of books who knew naught of what was important, horses, ale and fighting. Yet the man had proved himself rather quickly. He was a good rider if not up to Rohan standards. He could stand his ground with his sword, and it appeared he could hold his drink well enough as well.

At least well enough to have kept pace with Aragorn and Eomer most of the evening, granted, he was a couple of tankards behind Eomer, but so was Aragorn. Neither of the two men were used to the potent ale of Rohan and so it was only to be expected.

He tossed the tavern maid a coin for the ales, and smiled at her. She was a pretty enough thing, plump and nicely shaped. A sweet thing to rest your eyes upon. She scurried off between the tables and he followed her with his eyes. She was definitely pretty enough. Smiling he pondered whatever he should invite her to share the next round with them or not, however his expression turned grim as he watched a rider approach her.

The man was staggering so much that he should never have approached any lady. A man that drunk did not know how to appreciate a nice lady.

Something that was very apparent when he grabbed a hold of her wrist even thought she tried to shove him away from her. When the Rider's hands began moving across her dress Eomer was on his feet and on the way over there. Closely followed by both Aragorn and Faramir.

Everyone else backed away when the new King came over, everyone but the drunk Rider who was too drunk and too occupied to notice.

Eomer could have tapped his shoulder gently to get his attention, instead he punched him full force with his clenched fist. The Rider went down, but was to drunk to feel the pain, instead he clambered to his feet again.

He was also too drunk to fully comprehend Eomer's furious expression. Had he been more sober the three men in front of him would have made an intimidating image. Eomer wore a look of utter furry, Aragorn of cold unlashed anger, and Faramir's expression was blank, but his eyes was cold and offered no sympathy for the Rider.

Faramir had taken the tavern maid so that she now stood between himself and Aragorn. Faramir stood just slightly in front of her, with an arm protectively around her so that she was shielded and protected from the drunk Rider.

Having realised that the man who had knocked him down was his King the Rider wisely did not try to fight him. Of course that was thanks to some of his friends who had held him back by force until they managed to get that piece of information into him.

In the morning the Rider would be punished, Eomer would assign some men to teach him a lesson, and he would learn it. If not Eomer would deal personally with the other men. For now he intended to make clear to the foul creature just what Eomer though about him, and anyone else who would force his attention upon a woman.

The Rohirric curses and insults he roared were ones he fully mastered, and he knew how to make the words stick to the man who had to take them. The problem was that he had had no idea that his supply was so limited. He had rather not thought he would run out of them so soon, but he was actually forced to repeat himself.

Aragorn stepped in helpfully and added a few Gondorian ones that added to the insult, it was an ever greater insult for the man to be shouted at with Gondorian expressions, and Eomer took pleasure in it.

Too much pleasure to end is so soon, only he was running out of the curses again.

Faramir who stood with the tavern maid would actually have liked to thump the man around a bit himself, if was clear that the tavern maid was upset, and Faramir did not take well to one who would treat any woman like that.

"Bar." Faramir muttered to Eomer.

At first Eomer was surprised, but then he added it into the line of curses. He had never thought that the Gondorian who were a slight bit shy would be helpful as a supply of curses, but Faramir's expression was grim, and there was no mistaking his thoughts on the matter.

Eomer had no idea what it actually meant, but it was in the insults-and-curses category, and that was all he needed to know.

"Culo." Faramir muttered again, and Eomer made good use of it, never mind what tongue it was. The scum in front of him was stung by it.

"Paska pää." Faramir supplied dutifully in a neutral but cold voice. "Porci, bastarda, lamas. Baljós Arnyak."

Eomer roared them all out with just as much fury, and the scum cowered away from his fury like the creepy scum he was.

In the end Eomer allowed the other Riders to drag him away. The punishment would come when he was sober enough to fully appreciate it.

"What was that?" Eomer asked Faramir as they drained the last tankard before heading back.

"Just a few expressions I know of that seemed fitting." Faramir shrugged. He knew that Eomer thought that his language skills were quite useless, and took the chance to prove otherwise. "The more languages a man knows, the more curses he knows."

Aragorn laughed at the statement and Eomer could not help but agree.

There is a limit for how long Eomer can curse, as well as for how long I can write about the same thing. Since I have reached my limit just about now, I shall end this chapter here. As usual there shall be a new one posted next week.

I would also like to point out to Celebríon that in this one I have not used the word temporarily even once, and definitely not twice, no matter how much I usually stick temporary words in it somewhere. You never believed I could do that did you:)

Wordlist. and incorporated Pronounciation Guide by Celebrion.

As you probably know by now, everything (or next to) in cursive is me speaking.

Latin:

Bar- Stupid/Idiot a very British 'a' and a rolling 'r'

Italian:

Culo-Ass 'Koolo' with a short 'l'

Porci-Swine/pig 'Porrchi', you know this from previous chapters

Bastarda-You devil (or illegimate child) 'Bastarrda', British 'a';s and rolling 'r';s

Finnish:

Finnish is pronounced as it's spelled, thankfully, but some of the sounds are not familiar to most English speakers. That's why I'm here...

Paska pää- Idiot/Moron 'S' should be pronounced with the tip of your (prefferably not someone else's) tongue at the back of your front teeth, the 'a';s kind of like British and the 'ää' sounds very much like a Texan/Yoklian 'a' with less nasal work.

Lamas- Sheep A short 'l' and then same directions as above

Hungarian:

Baljós Arnyak-Omnius Shadow I have NO idea how to pronounce Hungarian, it makes my tongue twist into knots just trying... (Really, you wouldn't want that to happen...)

Random Rabblings by Celebrion:

Actually, I should have at least expected something like that...

I hope you haven't gotten a sudden case of saneness all of a sudden, that would make me the only mad person writing in this fic... And that wouldn't be half as fun...damn it.

Here I would like to thank everyone who reads my works, thank you.

Here it must also be said that in the tale "A Two Colour Chain Mail," we started the vote based on the fact that Sean Bean and David Wenham made the perfect image of two brothers. We also got plenty of agreement on that.

So here it is, if you agree with us and think that they should be real brothers. Say so in your review. It shall be your vote. On my authors page, in the bio I shall keep score. When the score reaches 100, they shall be declared official brothers. Then on my authors page shall be an official declaration written by Elenhin and Celebrion.

Then the truth can not be denied, they shall be brothers.

Horsiegurl: Ah, but that is exactly what we are trying to do, I am so glad that it works.

Legolas's Girl 9: I did not think of that one actually, we really wanted it to be vague, leaves more for the imagination.

Mysterious Jedi: It does rather look that way, does it not, but fear not. They are not really mean. If they ever were to mean to Faramir, just think of what Eowyn would do to them. It is more of a friendly teasing, and funny I hope.

ForeverFaramir: Considering that comment about Daisy in a wet shirt, trust me that I thought about you when I wrote the Bath House Peril, and if you are very nice I will make him wet again. I do not think that there was anything from Celebríon this time, I hope not, because if there was I have misplaced it. Ah, anyway, yes Eomer and Aragorn would wind up burying the cheese, I mean, they just did that…

Anyway, I hope that you liked this as well.

Silver Sniper: I hope that your computer id feeling better now, computer viruses are evil things. I know how hard it sometimes is to make a computer work.

Jess: We would be happy to add in anything asian, but we would have to ask you to help us, because we do not know any ourselves. If you think that you could supply us with something we would be more than happy to use it.

Lindahoyland: Yes, those two Kings tend to be rather amusing when you put them together, and Faramir fits right into it. He can be very amusing when he wants to. Is not Eomer slightly suspicious of anything that someone can do better than him, especially if that someone is Gondorian.