Summery – Same old
AN – Same old
Disclaimers – If that dude were mine, I like to think I'd notice it.
III
A few minutes later, Jack and I were back home. Shivs were safely locked in the back room and we were screaming at each other quite merrily.
"I told you before, Jack, don't fuckin lie to me. You wanna go off with yer boyfriend, fine, I don't give two shits. I trust you to be careful, and I know you're more than capable of takin care of yourself, but you should have told me where you were going. If you say you're 'round Joannes, or Cube or Deena's, and you're not, what the hell am I meant to do if something goes wrong? If we have to get off planet immediately, I won't have the time to go trailin my ass around tryin to find you because you decided to play secrets."
"Riddick, I don't have to tell you everything I do in my spare time!" Jack screamed back. "If I wanna go see Damian, you shouldn't give me this much shit for it."
Ready to throw something, I spin and shouts "I DON'T GIVE A BLUE FUCKIN SHIT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHO YOU'RE WITH OR WHAT YOU'RE DOIN! JUST SO LONG AS I IKNOWI!" I know I'm losing my temper, and I know I shouldn't, but hey, fuck it. Sometimes, killin somethin can do you the world of good. Well, not killin somethin, anymore at least, but fighting like you're gonna do some damage.
A cushion hitting me in the side of the head snaps me back to the teenager storming into her bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
IWhy oh why do I put up with this?I
Things were so much simpler when I just had to look out for me.
The old rules were simple to keep.
IDon't make friends...don't show trust...never listen to anyone else if your instincts go against it. Look after yourself first, then others if there's something to be gained from it. Lie, cheat, steal, kill...do whatever's necessary to survive.I
But the number one rule...the most important one of all:
IDon't let anyone in.I
They were the rules my life was based around. I lived by these rules. I never broke them, because to break them meant death.
Of course, that was before Carolyn.
Carolyn amazed me. She was so like me, yet so different. Strong survival instinct, fearless, strong in more than just the physical sense. But she was so protective of the others. She told me herself II would die for them.I
Ha. IFor them not for me, huh Carolyn?IWe all know how that turned out.
I went onto that planet with one set of rules.
I left with her rules.
Fuck, I even sat down with Jack once and wrote them down. They're pinned on the fridge.
Ten rules that we live by.
The first one is that we trust each other completely. If Jack told me to jump off of a cliff, I'd trust her to make sure I didn't go splat. I even trust her more than myself. Number two, look after number one first, then number two. For Jack, that's her, then me. For me...well, for me it's still her first. Jack is the only person I'd die for. Carolyn, maybe. But I guess I'll never have the chance to prove it. Number three, we never, IeverIlie to each other. Four, we do not do anything to jeopardize the trust we have in each other. Rule five, we do whatever we can to keep the other safe, even if it jeopardises us. Six, one does not just run off without the other. I did that once before, and we all know how that turned out. Seven, one that Jack insisted on, Jack can do as she likes, so long as it does not jeopardise her own safety or mine. Eight, we are not afraid of each other, and we do not attempt to make the other afraid of us. But we do have respect for each other, and we do have self respect. Also along the same lines, we respect each others privacy. Nine, one of us will never, ever intentionally hurt the other. That means physically, emotionally, no. We spar and train together all the time, and injuries are accidental, but unavoidable. Also, we argue, like we did this evening, and often one of us, usually me, will end up saying something we regret. But we never physically attack each other with the intention to do damage, and we always apologise for what we say during arguments.
The last rule, one that I included despite Jack's protests, is that she is to understand that just because she's tough and capable and all that, she's only human. She is officially fucked up if she never feels sadness or pain, and one rule is that she mustn't force herself not to show that she's feeling it...not around me, at least. She's caused more problems than it's worth trying to hide pain I know she's feeling just to try and prove something to me. The only real problem is that she turned it around on me. She has made me agree to not keep things from her to. Not that I could anyway...she knows me too well, much as I hate to admit it.
"I'm sorry," a little voice behind me lets me know she's come out of her room.
"S'okay, kid." I tell her. "Don't do it again."
Strange. Anyone else and I'd open an artery for 'em if they did something like lie to me when I trusted them. But this kid...
I ain't a softy, I swear.
The Carolyn in the back of my head laughs at my half-hearted lie.
So I got a soft spot for kids. Deal with it.