AN - God, how sorry am I that this has taken so long? And I haven't even written the next chapter for "the way it could have gone..." Exams, jobs, family, Fantasy game-book series...you name it, it's been attacking me. Fanfic just got shoved down to the bottom of my list of priorities and completely forgotton, and I've only just remembered them! EEK! Sorry! (hides under computer chair).
Disclaimer - I own Koli...and I will fight you in a firey ring of flame for her, 'cause I need her for the Game-books. Damian I own, but would happily lend out...or sell, if anyone's interested. But I own nothing else.
J J J J J
Warm.
It's strange, because that's the first thing I realise when I wake up, and it's not something I'm used to realizing.
Riddick.
I know that smell, that breathing.
The arm around my waist is familiar...
Riddick.
"Mornin'."
I un-curl myself in his arms and strech, rememberin layin down last night like I used to when I was a kid. It was...nice. Like curling up with your old teddy bear. Yeah, there's a comparison for ya, hey?
"What time is it?" I ask and he rolls over to check.
"Nearly seven," he tells me. "Wanna get up?"
Finishing my stretch, I curl against him again.
"Not particularly."
I feel him laugh more than a hear it, and he sighs and settles his arm back around me, and for a moment, I just lay there in comfort, just...absorbing.
And suddenly Damian's question comes back to me...what is it with us?
This isn't something that a daughter and father would do...share a bed now an' then, sure. But a daughter doesn't get this much happiness from it, do they? Nor would a kid sister. But we sure as hell ain't...ya' know...like that. And as for friends...well, I have friends. I doubt I would ever be in this situation with any of them.
"Deep thoughts, Kid?" Riddick pulls away from me a little, tryin to look down at my face.
"What makes you say that?" I ask, and he smiles.
"The fact that I've asked that question four times an this is the first one to get an answer."
"Oh." I blush. "Giveaway, huh?"
He stretches beside me and scratches his shoulder as he prods; "You gonna tell me?"
I bite my lip a moment...I know Riddick won't wanna hear that Damian an me have been talkin about him, but I know I can't keep a secret, not from Riddick.
"Damian asked about you yesterday," I tell him as carefully as I can. "Just about what it was like livin' with you an' why you took me in an' stuff. I didn't tell him anything, but it made me think."
Still tense, Riddick flexes his jaw and asks "About what?"
Another pause, but again it's pointless.
"Why did you take me in?"
R R R R R
What the fuck?
"What kinda question's that, Jack?"
She shrugs against me and murmers something.
"Wha'?"
"I just started wonderin'," She repeats. "That's all."
Hell...it's bad enough having to try an' explain this shit to myself. To someone else?
What the hell to I tell her? 'Cause I wanted to protect her? She'll get pissy. That I cared about her? Yeah fuckin' right, I'd say that. That I didn't wanna upset her again? Like I can undo all the fuck ups I made with her.
'Cause of Brenna?
For redemption for what I let happen?
Maybe in the beginning...but it din't exactly work now, did it? I fucked up again. I couldn't keep her safe from me or herself or Mercs or Rykangols. Shit, I know what's happened to her. I would rather she was just shot by the Mercs than...
"Riddick?"
I wrap my arm around her again and sigh against the top of her head.
"I dunno, kid."
We set into silence again, and for a minute, I can ignore the question and drift into another peaceful half sleep.
"Do you ever think about it?"
A short minute, anyway.
"No," I state simply.
Another pause.
"Do you ever regret it?"
Now that makes me double take.
I pull away from her again, puttin my hand to the side of her face so she's gotta look at me.
"What made you ask that?"
She shrugs again and looks down at the sheets of the bed.
"I just...do you?"
J J J J J
I know it's an evil question, but what Damian asked yesterday really got me worried. What if Riddick really did only take me in because he had to? What if he never wanted me here? What if he left me on New Mecca for a reason?
"We never did have this discussion on UV, did we?" He asks and I shake my head. "I took you in because it was the best option for both of us, but I can't say I never regretted meeting you."
My eyes snap back up to look at him, but I realise I'm about to start crying at the admission and I can't hold his gaze in case he sees it.
"I regret it because everything that happened to you in the last five years happened because of me," he explains, so quiet.
"That's not true."
"You know it is," he argues. "If you hadn't met me, you wouldn't have nearly died on the Kublah Kahn, you wouldn't have been left on New Mecca with Holy Man, you wouldn't have had to run away if I hadn't left you, you would have been able to have a normal life if you'd never met me rather than this fucked up excuse for a life you've led. You wouldn't have gotten caught up with Merc's, you wouldn't have been sold like a slab of meat to fuckin' Ryks..."
I looks up at him, and I could swear to God the shining eyes are just a little shinier than usual.
"If I hadn't met you, I would be dead now."
"And this life is better?" He demands. "Living like a criminal on the frozen fuckin' fingertip for two years is better? Living like...like me? That's better?"
"Living with you is better." I correct. "Riddick, I've killed and died for you. I don't care what happens to me or how I have to live my life so long as it's with you."
R R R R R
End Notes - I know, that was pathetic! I just need to warm up again, and I'm in the middle of a Lost story (I know, I'm in the middle of millions of stories!) And I got a new job which I'm in the middle of training for which is explodifying my head and I'm a HUGE distance behind on my New World stories, I've barely even STARTED the NaNo story! It's insane, and Fanfic ain't big on my list at the moment...which bums, 'cause I want it to be. I wanna get this done (and "way it could have gone") Before the next flaming film comes out! Only thing is, it's been so long since I did Riddick stuff that he's vacated, and he took the plot with him. I'm really trying to keep the story going, Y'all. Anyways...I appologized again for the shortness and the plotlessness, but at least it's something to go 'aww' over.