Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.

Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear

In this chapter we have pretty much continued with the same joke as in the previous two chapters.

We have Carl, and we have Russian, as well as a mentioning of Sharpe and Count Vronsky, both of which are characters played by Sean Bean.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.

Remains of Russian

Faramir regarded the Friar before him while leaning casually against a bookshelf. He doubted that he would be discovered any time soon.

Carl just was not the kind of man who looked over his shoulder. He had a thought a little about the other man.

Carl, a Friar devoted to the service of God, and yet he cursed quite regularly. Not that Faramir did not, and he was devoted as well. Then there was Boromir, a most loyal subject, and he could curse worse than half the army put together.

It was just that Faramir had learnt that Monks sworn to this god were not allowed to curse, nor to do a few other things that he was quite certain that Carl did at times. It was why he kept insisting that he was only a Friar after all.

Not that Carl was a fraud of any kind, he just believed that as god had to be quite busy enough, there was no need for Carl to bother him during odd hours, and in a way it made sense.

Now Carl was in his Kingdom of Dust, and Faramir ducked in behind a bookshelf where he was out of sight. He had just spied movement, this once Carl was not alone. That was rather a surprise.

There was another man there, one dressed in a long leather coat and wide brimmed hat that hid most of his face in shadows.

"They usually die if you shoot them." Carl was saying in an indignant voice. "Even you should know that Van Helsing."

Faramir smiled to himself, so this was Van Helsing, he had been wondering a bit about him. The man was looking around as if he was looking for something, and it was very possible that he had sensed Faramir's presence.

"How can you stay down here?" Van Helsing demanded of Carl. "I feel as if those dust mites are just waiting for a chance to attack me." He looked around trying to see any movement.

He could not though, Van Helsing was a very mighty hunter, but Faramir was a no less mighty ranger. He knew how to avoid being seen. His cloak blended in well with the shelves around him. Carl would no doubt find it difficult to explain his presence, it was much better if Faramir was not seen at all.

"I doubt the mighty hunter fears a little dust." Carl stated. "It's more reasonable to assume that you wish to avoid the books."

Van Helsing laughed. "Whatever you chose to believe Carl, but I do not trust them. I'll see you later." Van Helsing left and Carl was left not quite alone even if Van Helsing no doubt thought he was alone.

Faramir slipped out of the shadows.

"I did not think you would be back so soon." Carl took a step back as Faramir appeared, but recovered quickly.

"Neither did I, but since I gave the book intended for you to our friend Sharpe, I thought that I should hurry back to give you your copy."

"That is very kind of you." Carl smiled as he accepted the book.

"I trust that you saw Van Helsing."

Faramir nodded. "I did not mean to spy on you, but I rather thought that if I had suddenly appeared, he would want to know how that came to be."

Carl chuckled. "I would more say that it is a good idea to keep out of the way to stay alive." He grinned wickedly. "He's a vampire hunter, but he kills most anything."

Faramir laughed. "I'll make sure to keep out of his way then. I would not like to be mistaken for a vampire I am sure."

"No you would not." Carl assured him. "He usually kills them with a stake through the heart."

"Not the most pleasant thing, no." Faramir agreed.

"So you were able to see Sharpe back?" Carl asked.

Faramir nodded. "It was not all that difficult, I am not sure whetever he will return or not though."

"I have the odd feeling that he would prefer not to." Carl said thoughtfully. "I do not think that he enjoyed books very much."

"Some men don't." Faramir agreed. "My brother certainly did not. He would much prefer fighting a battle to reading a book."

"He was rather interesting though." Carl said absently as he was flipping through the pages in the book.

"A very interesting man." Faramir agreed.

"And a very interesting book." Carl was now paying more attention to the book than to the memory of Sharpe. "Was it not this Count Vronsky that he thought so strange."

"He certainly found the name strange." Faramir grinned as he recalled what Sharpe had said about it. "But names in one culture is oft found strange in another culture."

"Very true." Carl agreed. "I must say that I find Faramir one of the stranger names I have heard."

Faramir laughed, he knew that the Friar did not mean it as an offence. "I do not think that anyone where I come from would name a child Carl either." He chuckled. "However I think that my name might seem less strange if you know the meaning of it. It is based upon two separate elvish words. Fara and mir, combined they mean 'sufficient jewel.' Does that make more sense?"

Carl nodded. "It is as you said the difference between cultures. I do know about the Russian culture, so these names are not too strange to me."

Faramir chuckled. "I know a little of it as well, but I still have to twist my tongue around to pronounce a few of these. The Count Vronsky is not the most difficult name by far in that book."

"Avery interesting character though." Carl skimmed through the page he had been glancing at before. "After the conversation with Alexey Alexandrovitch, Vronsky went out onto the steps of the Karenins' house and stood still, with difficulty remembering where he was, and where he ought to walk or drive. He felt disgraced, humiliated, guilty, and deprived of all possibility of washing away his humiliation. He felt thrust out of the beaten track along which he had so proudly and lightly walked till then. All the habits and rules of his life that had seemed so firm, had turned out suddenly false and inapplicable." He read out loud. "It is a rather intriguing way of describing the acts and feelings, and it seems that the character of Vronsky is one for contemplating."

Faramir nodded. "It is hard to say whether he is honourable or not at times, but I think that he is a very honourable man, in a place where honour might at times be a burden."

"Very nicely put." Carl smiled at him. "You have a way with words."

"We who prefer scholarly pursuits before others tend to have that." Faramir mused. "Oft my brother would claim that I drove him insane by not speaking frankly. My King still complains every day that he can not understand what I am saying, and I would be forced to admit that I quite enjoy it."

Carl laughed. "Sounds like an amusing enough way to pass the time." He grinned.

"It is." Faramir admitted. "Though I am afraid I must be getting back to him now, before he wonders where I have gone off to. I trust that you shall enjoy that book."

"I rather think so as well." Carl could not wait to begin reading it.

The two men took a fond farewell, then the ranger went back to serve his King, and the Friar sat down to enjoy his book.

I also have to take leave now, regretfully not to read a nice book, though I should like to do so, but to write the next chapter that I will post next week. Since this being the usual temporary ending that is here.

Pronounciation Guide by Celebrion:

Another week's gone by and sweet summer vacation has begun! Mmm, warmth and sunlight for month's ahead...

One thing I noticed when betaing this chapter is that when Elenhin feels lonely, her spelling's getting worse. Need to keep her in company, at least when she's writing...

Well, gotta get the plan moving. Tata 'til next time!

Earendil Eldar: I think that what priest were not allowed to speak the same way during Carl's days as they are now. Also I am beginning to fear that the Kingdom of Dust might be trying to take over the world, it does seem that way at times.

Silver Sniper: Amusing to think that I always seems to lack words to express my gratitude over your kind words every week. We love them just the same, and oh, do I know the way schools work on these things. We had a classroom above the heat generator in the cellar, and they did not turn it of, we had some serious heat problems at that school. They are evil, but old schools tend to be fun at times. One had a rather dungeon looking cellar that was fun to sneak into.

Lindahoyland: Yes, Count Vronsky was another Sean Bean character, we wrote so in the authors note, thought I know by now that you rarely take the time to read it. It is of not matter. I actually think that Aragorn might get along well with Sharpe, he gets along well with several of his commanding officers, but they must prove their ability to him. I have been watching the Sharpe movies a lot lately, and it affects my thinking over these things. I am very glad that you like it though.

Shy-Shadow Reckless: I do not think that Sharpe is the kind of man who would tell them how alike they are at the first time, but fear not, the similarity have been noted. Also, big thanks for the vote, it has been taken in into the score.

Legolas's Girl 9: Yes, our chapters does indeed tend to be weird at times. At other times I fear that they are worse than weird. We are just happy that you seem to like them like they are. Thank you.

Fred: Thank you again ever so much for all kind words and reviews. We appreciate it all very much.

Here I would like to thank everyone who reads my works, thank you.

Here it must also be said that in the tale "A Two Colour Chain Mail," we started the vote

based on the fact that Sean Bean and David Wenham made the perfect image of two brothers. We also got plenty of agreement on that.

So here it is, if you agree with us and think that they should be real brothers. Say so in your review. It shall be your vote. On my authors page, in the bio I shall keep score.

When the score reaches 100, they shall be declared official brothers. Then on my authors page shall be an official declaration written by Elenhin and Celebrion.

Then the truth can not be denied, they shall be brothers