Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.

Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear

The Lord Demeni is back as we seem to have readers who enjoy his constant confusion. Thanks to Fred and a good idea, I re wrote a chapter I had written earlier, and we shall see how you all like it.

Also, apologies to all from us, it appears that the page did not support Greek letters, and so our fine letter showed only as boxes. We are sorry for that.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.

Chastise the Chaste

The Lord Demeni was a good natured Lord, not ambitious but instead content with this lot in life. He had a lovely wife, and a litter of offspring. As well as one oldest son that was his heir.

He was middle aged and had a quite generous waist line. It was said that he had as much kindness as belly when it came to most things.

He was likable enough, though his greatest talent was to get things wrong, and confuse one thing for another, and usually completely different thing. It usually guaranteed that life would not become too dull, as he could make many most interesting suggestions.

Faramir himself had been quite fearful of his own safety after the good Lord had come with one of his more interesting suggestions. This time he considered himself safe enough, even after he had heard the proffered solution, yet how would not every soldier in the army have balked if they had heard his suggestion as it was first uttered.

They would not have had one single soldier left in the entire army Faramir mused as he considered the utter insanity that could come from an ordinary report and a Lord that was confused to a level far above the ordinary.

To think that such complicated matters could rise from such a common occurrence as soldiers that had been on leave in a village.

The soldiers that were standing on the village street, eyeing the females passing by, something that is rather common for soldiers to do. It was usually a harmless pastime. Something that the women rarely objected to.

What they complained about were the whistles, the suggestions, and the gestures combined with an offer for a pleasant time, if they were to follow the soldiers to a private spot of their choosing.

Where they complained about it was the local garrison's commander. For some strange reason that the soldiers were unable to figure out, not that they did not try, the commander rather did not like it.

It was not that he minded the fact that there had been complaints among the civilians, there always were. What had him upset was the fact that his soldiers had acted in a way that gave the civilians due reason to complain.

Since complaining had worked so well for the civilians he decided that he ought to try the same course of action, complaint. Yet complaining to the local garrison's commander would do no good, even if it had not been himself. Since he obviously could not deal with the problem, no other commander would have been able to do it.

Instead he decided to find someone in a slightly higher position to complain to. The man whom received the letter decided that if complaining had worked so well this far, he could do it as well. So he found someone in just a little higher position to complain to, and as the ladder of complaints went steeply upwards the letter soon found itself on a desk, as anything written on paper tends to do eventually.

However on this desk it was not ignored as everything written in three copies tends to be. Instead it was read by the Steward of Gondor. Whom rather agreed with the commander of the garrison. Soldiers were not supposed to act that way.

Since he wanted something done about it, something that might encourage other soldiers not to do the same thing, and since it was time for Council he decided that for once the meetings might be useful. Then the King could issue a formal command to deal with a situation that preferably already should have been dealt with.

During the Council meeting he read the letter aloud for them, then explained exactly what it meant.

"Such behaviour in soldiers can not be accepted," Aragorn agreed. "The soldiers are there to make the people feel safe, not the opposite."

"My Lord. We can not order the men not to look at the women," Lord Barladro frowned. "When the women walk around on the streets the men can not avoid seeing them."

"It is not the fact that soldiers are looking at women that is the problem," Faramir pointed out. "It is the part about insulting them, and trying to do more than just looking. Even if the women are walking around on the streets the men can help where they have their hands."

"I am sure the report has been exaggerated," the Lord objected.

"Yet there was enough cause to write a report," the King frowned. "We must decide on a course of action against it. If it is a small problem in one place, it might be a bigger problem somewhere else."

"I agree," Lord Demeni informed the others. "This kind of behaviour is simply not acceptable by soldiers."

"So what should be done about it?" Faramir asked. "We need to make sure that no one even thinks about touching the women uninvited."

Lord Demeni spoke again. "I say that we chastice the soldiers that are responsible for the complaint."

"All of them? We can not do that." Aragorn tried to estimate the uproar that it would cause.

"Gondor has punished soldiers for wrong doings before," Lord Demeni objected. "Several times has flogging been dealt in order to set the men straight."

"I believe that he means chastise, my Lord," Faramir muttered with an amused smile. "And not that we should force Gondor's entire army into chastity."

"I sure hope so." Aragorn could not help but squirm under the thought.

"Of course the ones responsible shall be punished," Faramir said. "But we will also want to make sure that it ends. That is the difficult part."

"Mayhap we could cancel their leave," Aragorn suggested. "Take the time where they had leave due and give them some task to perform instead." He turned to Faramir. "Our good Lord has gotten confused again," he whispered.

"This was a good one," Faramir agreed in a whisper. "He had no idea at what he was suggesting."

After this statement the discussion was continued. Until a letter was sent with instructions for the commanders of the garrisons. Instructions about how said matter should be dealt with.

The civilians were not entirely sure about how the military progressed about it, but they ceased complaining about the soldiers, as the soldiers ceased the behaviour that they had complained about.

Therefore everyone was happy, until the next chapter of this tale was doled out. Then dread began to form in their hearts, as it should in your's as well. MUHHAHHAHHAH. (Evil laughter because I already know about the next chapter.)

Until then, thanks for reading.

Pronounciation Guide by Celebrion:

I sure hope they didn't go through with his lordship's proposal, an army of eunuchs isn't as efficient as one left ... intact, so to speak...

But it's a solution as good as any I suppose, without their , umm, family joy, there shouldn't be much need to go after women... Eww, let's leave this and wait 'til we get the promised tale of horror and abominations next week...

Earendil Eldar: I agree, take that three day weekend and rest for all that it is worth. Also, would anyone in their right mind these guys going along, if I were you, I would invite them to start with, take care now.

frodo16424: We decided to have them meet as many seemed to want that, yes, it was unfortunate that the Greek did now show. It worked in the preview of the chapter, but not in the posting. We shall keep it in mind for later though, if we ever try the same thing again.

Lindahoyland: It is not that Aragorn is not smart enough to understand. It is just that Aragorn does not fully comprehend the Kingdom of Dust, and Faramir does not fully comprehend his desk. So the two of them are being careful about it around each other. Some day we might make something more out of it.

If I get stuck without a beta, I will be sure to remember you. I am very grateful for the offer, and I just love Burden of Guilt.

Steelelf: It really was cool, was it not.

Legolas's Girl 9: David Wenham plays the Friar Carl in the movie Van Helsing. I think that it is a very good movie and highly recommend it, if you ever find a way to Middle Earth, please let me know where it can be found.

Silver Sniper: Considering how much everyone seems to have loved it, we shall have to do something on it again some time. It should prove popular. Again, we are sorry that the Greek did not show up, we thought it was worth a try though. I am glad that none seemed to be offended by it at least. I am glad that you are finally free of school. I hope that you really enjoy your holiday.

Here I would like to thank everyone who reads my works, thank you.

Here it must also be said that in the tale "A Two Colour Chain Mail," we started the vote

based on the fact that Sean Bean and David Wenham made the perfect image of two brothers. We also got plenty of agreement on that.

So here it is, if you agree with us and think that they should be real brothers. Say so in your review. It shall be your vote. On my authors page, in the bio I shall keep score.

When the score reaches 100, they shall be declared official brothers. Then on my authors page shall be an official declaration written by Elenhin and Celebrion.

Then the truth can not be denied, they shall be brothers.