Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.

Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear

Portuguese here, and we are counting on the fact that many strange things cross the ocean.

Once before in a chapter there was a gift coming to the King, now anew gift has been sent, and this time Eomer and Aragorn are more wary of it, due to what occurred last time.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.

Note: This might be confusing unless you have read the chapter Portuguese Surprise.

Fear For Fools

Aragorn regarded the crate that stood on the floor beside his desk. It was an ordinary solid, harmless looking, wooden crate. He regarded it very carefully.

"I still say we wait for Faramir." He said carefully.

Eomer regarded the crate curiously. "We have no idea of when he will be back from the patrol." He pointed out. "What is the worst that could happen anyway."

"Considering that we had to bury a cheese in the garden the last time." Aragorn allowed his voice to drift of at the end of the sentence. The last time the two of them had decided to open a crate containing gifts from a foreign land, it had been a rather interesting experience.

This had resulted in a rather interesting approach from the two Kings. Both of them was curious and wanted to open this crate that was apparently a new gift from the Portuguese, yet neither of them really dared to.

If it was the same as the last time there should be a letter inside, explaining what the different things were. Since Faramir had been away then they had decided to open it on their own. They had also tried to discover what the things were on their own, and it had some rather interesting results.

They had been forced to take drastic measures as they uncovered what was apparently a cheese, but had a very distinctive smell, and had thus buried it in the garden.

Faramir had come only to see the last stages of the events, and had been thrown into the fountain as he had laughed.

This time both men were more wary in their approach, only they wanted to open it, and so one would decide that they should. Only every time the other would suggest waiting for Faramir, since he would be able to read the letter, and so the discussing began again.

"Fine, we open it." Aragorn gave in, he was beginning to want an end to this.

"Maybe you are right." Eomer had stepped forward to pry open the lid, but now he stepped back again. "It would make sense to wait for him."

"Eomer, we have been going back and forth like this for hours, it is time that we decide on a course of action and stick with it." Aragorn stated. "We are Kings, we command troops in war, and we rule our lands. We should be able to decide on a course of action for opening a crate."

"I agree." Eomer nodded confidently. "So what do we do?" He added.

"I do not know." Aragorn shook his head. "I just don't know Eomer."

Faramir peered out from under his hood into the pouring rain. He might as well pull the hood back from his head. The hood and his cloak were so sodden they did no good at all anymore. The rain had been pelting him for hours, and he was soaked to the skin. Literally, he was certain that if he was to hold his boots upside down, water would pour out of them, and that was boots that would allow him to cross a river and still be dry.

He looked up at the sky, and felt a small river enter the neckline and run down his chest and back. It was about the size of Anduin, he could feel it run all the way down his body. The reason he was looking up was because it seemed amazing that there was still any rain left in the clouds.

He could not really tell, he was sure that he would be able to if he could see the clouds, but he could not see the clouds, as soon as he looked up he got his eyes full of rain water and could not see anything.

The poor horse had to be as miserable as he was, but he had to admit his admiration for the Rohan horses. The poor creature did not complain, just trudged on. He treasured the horse that he had named Pixie after its humour. Normally he would be up to some trick, but in this weather he was not, or was he. Faramir blinked, what was the horse doing?

It had to be a silent complaint about being out in this weather. Why had the horse picked up a giant fern in his mouth and was walking with it in his mouth, so that the leaves of it shielded his head.

That, Faramir decided, was literary the drop that overflowed the goblet. The next spot that offered the slightest shelter he would stop and allow the poor animal to rest. He had been out on patrol with his men, and had gotten a message saying his presence was requested in the city, so despite the fact that the weather was turning foul he had left the shelter of the cave where the patrol had struck camp and headed back.

He would however find a spot of shelter now, Eowyn would have his head if he allowed the poor best to catch a cold from the weather.

He found a relative shelter beneath a thick stand of trees, enough to wait out the rain without getting much wetter than before. Using some tall grass he tried to rub down the horse as much as possible, and got rewarded by a wet nose burrowing into his neck. Still it was a show of appreciation.

Faramir gave him an apple from his pack and they waited out the worst of the weather before continuing.

Still Faramir was still sodden when he entered the King's study. He had dried enough that he was not dripping while he settled Pixie in the stable.

"My Liege, I was called and thus have I come. What would the King ask of me?" Faramir performed the deepest and most flowing bow he was capable of. If Aragorn made him ride through the rain, then he would use the most formal ways he had ever been taught.

"Faramir, please." Aragorn groaned. "It is good to see you my friend, but please do not bow so."

"Not to mentioning speaking so that a man can understand." Eomer went on.

Faramir turned to him and executed the bow again. He suddenly had a suspicion that they were both just as guilty in dragging him out into the rain. "I beg thy pardon, my Lord, for my failure to greet thee as thou are due. And I pray that I have not offended thee in my ignorance."

He knew that Eomer hated such stiff and formal language even more than Aragorn did, and so it was even more fun to do it.

Eomer just stared at him and shook his head, staring at his brother in law. He had no idea of what he had just said, but he had known Faramir long enough now to recognize that glint in his eye, the one that meant he knew he was driving them insane, and was doing it on purpose.

He had once believed Faramir to be a dullard beyond hope, but it was not so. Faramir was capable of some rather refreshing humour if he wanted to.

Eomer was willing to bet that it had something to do with the fact that Faramir looked rather wet. He was more than capable for taking revenge in that way.

"What would my Lord and Liege ask of his most humble servant now that I am arrived?" Faramir went on inclining his head.

"Faramir, please, no such court behaviour." Aragorn pleaded.

"The poor man is soaking wet." Eomer stated, as he thought that he had gotten to the bottom of it. "You should have told the messenger that it was not such a hurry that he had to ride through the rain."

"That would have been appreciated." Faramir nodded. "Yet I am here now, so what assistance might I be of?"

"We have been sent another crate from those Portuguese." Aragorn informed him. "We did not want to open it without you considering the last time."

"I can actually agree with that." Faramir nodded. "I am afraid that any more cheese might kill the flowers in the King's garden."

"If you were not already so wet it would be pointless I would throw you into the fountain, this time as well." Eomer growled.

Together the three men opened the create and peered inside. Aragorn reached into the crate for a folded letter and handed it to Faramir for reading.

Faramir raised his eyebrows as he read through the context of the letter.

"What does it say?" Aragorn demanded seriously.

"It says that it is another gift of goodwill." Faramir said bemused. "And that they thought that since there was nothing particularly strange in it, we should be able to figure it all out on our own."

"How do they think we'd know what this is?" Eomer demanded holding up a pineapple.

Even as it might be amusing to write, I thought that it would be mean to write how three mighty men was bested by a pineapple, and so what happens next shall be one of those mysteries that the author does not share with the readers.

That way no one will be offended to learn that they did not manage to figure out what to do with the pineapple, even if they were able to get it open.

So instead I shall insert a temporary ending here and wish you all well.

Pronounciation Guide by Celebrion:

Yay! The pineapple! I've waited for this one a long time! She promised to do this about six months ago, well about the time we started this series anyway... That IS about six months ago! Where do the time fly?

See ya!

Earendil Eldar: It is more than ten years since the last time I had something called vacation, so don't ask me what it is. Faramir and Sharpe does seem to get along well, and I intend to have Sharpe show again, and yes, Faramir spends a lot of time in the Kingdom of Dust. I guess he would love to take his vacation there.

Lindahoyland: Yes, Faramir and Sharpe does indeed get along well, I think they both sees qualities in the other that they like. I intend to see what Aragorn can do about Sharpe's opinion about nobility and Kings, it should be coming soon. I also want to thank you so very much for your comments, it is such a pleasure to write when I know you will be reading. I hope you enjoyed reading Sharpe as I love those books, as for NT, I think you might like that movie, it is quite good. Not to mention that Sean Bean does a great job with playing Ian, he is the bad guy in the movie, but he keeps showing good qualities, while the 'good' guy shows some not always to good qualities as well.

Saerwen: Ah, all those nice reviews, we shall just see what we can come up with, eh? I am sure that you will be satisfied, and yes, the ants were walking upside down.

Shy-Shadow Reckless; Sharpe seems to have some odd respect for Kings. Not as if he thinks they can do much good, but he still respects their position, and I do have a plan for how I shall make it work, and for the record, I am an author-wannabe. I want to be a real author one day. Hopefully I will be eventually.

Nienor Niniel: I am glad to hear that you have been enjoying it, I would most certainly like to see what you think about the rest of it as well. Ah, the German, yeah, I have a friend who's mother is German, I made him help me out. I told him what I wanted and he translated it for me, it is possible that I made a mistake or two writing it into the chapter though. It is hard to do all those languages and not make mistakes, but I am glad to hear you still enjoyed it.

Legoals's Girl 9: Well at least you got to middle earth, so have fun while you are there.

Silence: I am glad to hear you like it, I try very hard to avoid the mistakes, but it seems I fail more often then I like. I am glad to hear that it does not destroy the story though. Ah, yes, we have been thinking about some of those, but I need to have a bit I can use first, a sentence or a word or something, and Portuguese we have used after a fashion here. I hope that you enjoyed it.

Silver Sniper: I enjoy trying to portray the characters true to what they should be like, but it is always fun to develop on them, I am so happy to hear that you think I've done well. Ah, snorkelling, but if you swallow a half gallon or two, does not that make one gallon, I am not good at math, but I thought that two half gallons would make one whole. Just kidding, I got the point, did you see any nice fishes?

Here I would like to thank everyone who reads my works, thank you.

Here it must also be said that in the tale "A Two Colour Chain Mail," we started the vote based on the fact that Sean Bean and David Wenham made the perfect image of two brothers. We also got plenty of agreement on that.

So here it is, if you agree with us and think that they should be real brothers. Say so in your review. It shall be your vote. On my authors page, in the bio I shall keep score. When the score reaches 100, they shall be declared official brothers. Then on my authors page shall be an official declaration written by Elenhin and Celebrion.

Then the truth can not be denied, they shall be brothers.