Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.

Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear

Portuguese here, and we are counting on the fact that many strange things cross the ocean. There is now also the reappearance of the Lord Demeni.

Once before in a chapter there was a gift coming to the King, now anew gift has been sent, and this time Eomer and Aragorn are more wary of it, due to what occurred last time.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.

Note: This might be confusing unless you have read the chapter Portuguese Surprise, as well as the last chapter, Fear For Fools.

Portuguese Problems

Aragorn was working himself through the mountain of papers that were on his desk. It shared some of the traits with Mount Doom he decided.

It was impossible to get to the top off.

It blocked out the sun light from the window and laid his desk in shadows, and it should really be destroyed he decided.

Regretfully it seemed to be harder to destroy the paperwork than it had been to destroy the One Ring. For one thing his desk had not yet spit out another copy of his signet ring. It seemed more intent on devouring it.

Hours spent going through the drawers to find it had taught him never to put his ring in a drawer for safe keeping. It just could not be done.

He really wished he could get rid of some of the documents in some way thought, and at times it had been tempting to turn his back when Faramir was in the room. He knew that some of the documents would then disappear from his pile, but they would only reappear in Faramir's pile, and since his usually was higher, it would not really be fair to do that.

Not to mention what Eowyn would do to him if she found out that he had allowed Faramir to take on more work.

She did not approve of the hours her husband sometimes worked, and it had only been Aragorn's innocence in the matter that had saved him once.

He had considered a law against this kind of paper work, and there was only really one thing that stopped him from doing it, the fact that it would mean more paper work, and if there was one thing he did not need it was more papers to deal with.

Something had to be done though, he and Faramir was both getting buried in the white documents with their black script, and he soon meant it literally.

They had learnt to cope with the usual amount, but for some reason more had been pouring forth lately than the usual amount.

Neither of the two men knew where it came from, but Aragorn secretly blamed his desk.

Wherever it came from though, one fact was clear, much more of it and neither him nor Faramir would be able to cope with it, neither of them was able to get all the sleep they needed, and both of them ate nearly all meals by their desk.

If it went on for much longer then Eowyn and Arwen would take action. Eowyn was already starting to give him menacing looks when she saw him, and he could not really blame her.

The last time he had seen Faramir the man had looked bone weary, it would be just like him to take even less rest than Aragorn every night.

In the name of self-defence against the angry wife of his overworked steward, Aragorn had to do something about it.

He did not really like it, but it was time to delegate some of the workloads to someone else. Either he or Faramir would still have to check everything all the time, but hopefully that would mean less work for them.

Faramir sat rubbing his eyes with one hand, then removed it as he realised it only made it harder to focus on the paper in front of him.

If he did not make it from his desk and home to his wife soon, said wife would give him an earful about it as soon as he did.

Meaning that if he did not get back to her within the next few minutes, it was safest for him not to get back at all.

It would be safer for him to sleep at his desk he decided a few minutes later as he saw the next document on his desk.

One that was supposed to be sent away the next morning. One thing was certain, it could not, under any circumstances be sent the way it was.

To do that would be to risk open war, and to ´not take care of it tonight was to face an open war the next time he went home. Eowyn was not one to meet him with silence when she was displeased. She was one to threaten him with her sword.

There was only one thing to do if he wanted to avoid war on all fronts, he went home to his wife and explained to her why he would not be home just yet. Eowyn could very easily understand what happened if he did not take care of this tonight. Of course, she also made very clear to him what would happen to him with him if he did not sleep once he had dealt with it.

Faramir entered Aragorn's study and saw the man there half asleep.

"Aragorn." Faramir said quietly to alert him to his presence.

Aragorn looked up. "Shouldn't you be home with Eowyn by now?" Aragorn frowned.

"No more so that you should be home with Arwen." Faramir pointed out.

"My wife does not tend to meet me with a sword if I am too late." Aragorn smiled, though Arwen had no problem with making her displeasure known.

"I have her permission to stay up late." Faramir smiled. "Once she saw this she understood that it had to be dealt with."

"What is it?" Aragorn stifled a yawn.

"The message that would be sent to the Portuguese together with the package of good will." Faramir told him.

"What's wrong with it?" Aragorn frowned at the document.

"Oh, nothing more than the fact that someone allowed the Lord Demeni to write it." Faramir said and grinned as Aragorn paled.

"What did he write?" Aragorn swallowed as he tried to calm his nerves.

"Lets just say that the opening phrase would most likely have resulted in a declaration of war." Faramir told him. "He sort of greeted them and managed to calm them savage dogs at the same time. And may they live happy till they rot." He shook his head. "We must go over all of this before it can be sent."

Aragorn groaned, it would be a long night. When he delegated the work he had not intended for the Lord Demeni to get his hands on any of it.

I will end this here before the Lord Demeni gets his hands on this, and writes something insulting instead of the temporary ending that is here.

Pronounciation Guide by Celebrion:

Does that mean I can write something insulting here too, like calling you sane?

But that would make me seem insane... No harm done then. You're sane!

Silver Sniper: Well, pineapples have been known to be tricky, and given the generally insanity in this tale, it was not a very far stretch to come up with something like that. It was in fact, all to easy. Maybe we shall elaborate on it some other time, but that is not a promise since I can not guarantee it.

Earendil Eldar: Coconuts and pineapples is a standing joke between Celebrion and me, I've given him a coconut, and he's given me a pineapple. We opened a coconut when I was a kid once, a wine bottle opener is quite effective actually. You use that in the eye, pour out the milk, and then you can just smash it open with force. Hmm, need to get a new coconut for the next time Celebrion comes here. Er, horse chestnuts, those are the ones with spikes are they not? Cause we don't have many around here, shamefully.

Legolas's Girl 9:Better run fast, I wouldn't want cinnamon buns in my hair either. I am sure you could hide in the Kingdom of Dust though, or set Elrond lose on Elladan and Elrohir.

Steelelf: Glad you liked it, coconuts seems to be a good source of laughs. There is an old song here about opening one, where the brat in end falls back to using explosives, and still the nut wont open. It is the kind of song that has you laughing all the way through it. Hopefully this chapter gave you a laugh as well.

Lindahoyland: I think that I've read the fic you are referring to, and yes the trouble Eomer and Aragorn could cause trying to discover the secrets of the pineapple is almost frightening to consider. The cheese really is a pointer to what could happen, I was hoping that reference would get a laugh or two. Yeah, I almost felt sorry for leaving Faramir and his horse out in the rain, but it was really necessary for the story. I am glad to hear you enjoy Sharpe so much, which one of the books did you read? Maybe I could recommend a particularly one for you, also, very glad to hear you will look out for National Treasure. It might not be the greatest movie ever made, but it is good, and Sean is great in it, I don't think that Earendil Eldar has regretted seeing it, and it would be interesting to see what you though of my story after having seen it. It is a good movie.

Here I would like to thank everyone who reads my works, thank you.

Here it must also be said that in the tale "A Two Colour Chain Mail," we started the vote based on the fact that Sean Bean and David Wenham made the perfect image of two brothers. We also got plenty of agreement on that.

So here it is, if you agree with us and think that they should be real brothers. Say so in your review. It shall be your vote. On my authors page, in the bio I shall keep score. When the score reaches 100, they shall be declared official brothers. Then on my authors page shall be an official declaration written by Elenhin and Celebrion.

Then the truth can not be denied, they shall be brothers.