Author's Note: This is a bit of a joke that I wrote with the help of a friend. We thought that Faramir was skilled at different languages, and wondered just what languages he could speak.

Trying to think of as many as possible, and writing a story on each. Some languages will be from Lord of the Ring, some will not, but we will name them and where they come from. So Have no fear

This time we used Elvish, and Ian makes a guest appearance, this is for the reader who wanted to see Ian helping Faramir break into something.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Ring, I only borrow parts of it and shall return them as soon as I am done. Completely undamaged, as I am certain it will be impossible to see where we glued the pieces back together.

Pick the Right Key

Faramir beheld the box on the table with a rueful expression. Ruefully because it was locked. Locked because it held honey cakes.

Or rather it held honey cakes, and it was locked because Eowyn and Aragorn claimed he was eating too many of them.

Needless to say, he did not agree, it was just that he enjoyed having a plate of them around as he worked.

He had talked the cook into making some for him, and had thought the box was a perfect place to keep them while he worked. Tucked away in cabinet so that he did not eat all of them at once. He actually could keep from doing that if he wanted.

It was just that Eowyn and Aragorn did not agree, and so they had locked the box, and taken the key, but they had left it there with him.

That was evil. He could see the box, almost smell them, but he could not eat them. It was cruel to know that they were there, so close, and yet out of reach.

It kept him from working, making it very hard for him to concentrate. He tried to distract himself by reading, but neither that went to well.

As a final attempt to get anything done he moved out of their sight and went into the library, the Kingdom of Dust. Hoping that there he would find peace.

Well, at least he found something, not peace, but Ian. He looked out hesitantly from behind a bookcase at first, but when he saw that it was Faramir who came he stepped out from behind it.

"I had a feeling not everyone would understand how it came that I was here." He noted. "I do not fully understand it myself either."

"I have come to expect strange things where the Kingdom of Dust is concerned." Faramir smiled. "It seems to be something that happens when the dust mites grow large enough."

"That would explain the one I just saw." Ian grinned, holding out a palm at waist height, as if measuring up a distance from the floor. "Aggressive thing, chased me into a corner, and I think that it was just a cub."

Faramir smiled, so the jokes about big dust mites were the same in many worlds.

"I have plans to train them." He joked. "I thought that they may be used to keep out intruders."

Ian snorted. "Train a few of those to attack, and you shall not be bothered again. If nothing else you could make them leap at someone's throat and choke them to death."

Faramir laughed, it sounded like something Boromir might say. "I am working of house breaking them now." He elaborated. "I think that I am making progress."

Ian pretended to look around.

"You just might, they do not seem to have left a mess anywhere. Congratulations, you seem to have found a working method for the training of dust mites."

"Maybe then I should train them to go after my King as well as my wife." Faramir muttered.

For a brief moment, Ian looked surprised.

"I keep some honey cakes in a box." Faramir explained. "But since my King claimed that I eat too many of them, my wife saw fit to take the key."

He heard Ian mutter something about women always locking in the cookies, but he could not be sure what he said. Then there was a twinkle suddenly showing in his eye.

"What kind of box is it?" He asked.

"A simple wooden box, but I do not want to break it." Faramir answered, uncertain what he was getting at.

"May I see it?" Ian asked with a big grin.

"Yes, of course you may." Faramir still did not understand, but he brought his friend with him to his study, and shoved him the box.

Ian admired the carvings on the lid, there was some odd scrip there. A flowing and beautiful carving across the lid. He brushed his fingers over it.

"What does it say?" He asked curiously.

Faramir grinned mischievously. "It is Elvish." He explained. "It says, the good that may be found inside. I thought that it was fitting in a way."

"Very." Ian laughed studying the lock, it was a simple lock, very simple. He fished out a lock pick from his pocket, a very useful item that, and slid it gently inside the lock.

One twist, one click, and the lid was open.

"How did you do that?" Faramir asked baffled. He had never seen anyone open a lock so fast with no key.

"My wife locks the pantry at times as well." Ian admitted a bit guiltily, there was more to it than that, years as a thief, but that explanation would do well enough.

One thing was certain, whoever had made the lock had not been used to those that might open a lock they should not rightfully do. It was in all reality to simple, but the cakes were very good. He could see why Faramir had not wanted to have them locked up.

Once more it seems that I need to run and check, for Ian still has his lock pick, and there is cakes in the pantry. Therefore I must run and see if there is any left of them, may you all fare a good temporarity until the next chapter.

Pronounciation Guide by Celebrion:

Meep! My icecream! runs off for the kitchen

Ta! See ya next week!

Okay, this was chapter 53, and to celebrate the one year anniversary in chapter 52 we offered wallpapers. They are still available if you want them. Just pick one bellow, and then go to my bio page, send a mail to the address you find there with the name of the wallpapers you want, and I'll send it to you.

The choices are:

The Kingdom of Dust - Faramir and Carl in the Kingdom of Dust

The Not Yet Requested Copy – Faramir and Eowyn

Reminds Me Of Someone I Have Never Met – Faramir, Carl and Sharpe

Boromir? – Faramir, Boromir and Ian

A King For A Soldier – Faramir, Aragorn and Sharpe

A King Made Fool – Faramir and Eomer

Another important note is that we now have to change from weekly updates to more irregularly ones. I am very sorry about that, but trying to always have something on the same date has been to stress full. So now the updates will be whenever I have something, it may be more often and less often, and I am sorry about it.

That was everything, and I hope that you have all enjoyed it, take care now, and happy anniversary.

Lindahoyland: Oh yes, they made a very lovely image, we love them very much. I love writing this, but I'm afraid I had to change the schedule, and then now I was away, and that ate ever more time. Hopefully there wont be less chapters thought, but only less stress. I don't know if I remembered to say it before, but if you had any links to Tristan and Isolde, I would love them. I hope you enjoyed this now, take care.

Earendil Eldar: Putting the story in the story as you say, just seemed like the logical thing to do after a year of this insanity. He, go Steelers, I hope they score come Sunday. Ah, I'm really sorry for this taking time, but I've been worn out those days, when I got this done, I'll write you your mail.

Steelelf: A whole year yes, we were quite surprised when we realized that. Oh, and I don't have any pictures of the wallpapers, but give me a mail address, and I'll send you some of them, okay?

Silver Sniper: I feel guilty for the first update after the anniversary being so spaced out, but there was really nothing I could do about it, and I might add that it is you as the readers that has made it so very special. I never thought anything I did, would ever matter so much to anyone, so, as for the wallpapers, do you want me to just send them along to you?

Alex: It meant a lot to me to find your review, especially with the anniversary. I am very happy to know that you have been enjoying it. More so than I can say, and thank you very much for the vote as well. If you want one of the anniversary wallpapers, just drop a line to the mail address on my bio page, and I'll send you one.

Lady Elbereth Tealrose: There are more honey cakes here El, they seem quite popular.

Evermir: Its been amazing to do this, really, Evermir, I did this, and people like it, It's hard to comprehend. And as I said before, just had to throw us two in and make the craziness complete.

Here I would like to thank everyone who reads my works, thank you.

Here it must also be said that in the tale "A Two Colour Chain Mail," we started the vote based on the fact that Sean Bean and David Wenham made the perfect image of two brothers. We also got plenty of agreement on that.

So here it is, if you agree with us and think that they should be real brothers. Say so in your review. It shall be your vote. On my authors page, in the bio I shall keep score. When the score reaches 100, they shall be declared official brothers. Then on my authors page shall be an official declaration written by Elenhin and Celebrion

Then the truth can not be denied, they shall be brothers.